5 years? Since an update.
Everything is shit.
I'm divorced and remarried.
I lost both my kids due to anxiety and addiction.
They live with their dads now.
I'm a mess.
I hate myself.
And I'm waiting until the day I can finally kill myself with out the fear of failing.

Its weird to think that its been more than 2 years since i've updated this ( Read more... )

I'm a mom, i have two kids and a husband ( Read more... )

I can't sleep. Its 2:54am, and i am awake. This whole not sleeping this is getting really old. I don't think i've slept good in 3 years. No wonder i'm alway tired ( Read more... )

I haven't updated this in a long time. I figured it doesn't matter because people don't read this. Except for me. But. I got married to a man named aaron. Shane and i broke up a long time ago and we are now in a custody battle for our son Hunter. I am pregnant with a second child. Its a girl. Her name is going to be penelope. I'm excited and happy ( Read more... )

A lonely apartment of the building in my brain. A gated culdasac with neighbors i've never seen. No one knocks on the door to see how i am. Lonely days with nothing but a pen and paper to keep me entertained. Blood stains the carpet, broken pieces of mirror cover the floor. Emotions pile up like junk mail.

I can;t finish this.

I seem to be starting my days off earlier and earlier.. but i'm sleeping less and less. I've been feeling weird. I'm on the verge of the biggest break down ever. I can feel it.. Maybe not though. If i ignore it enough it might go away. I doubt it. Days seem to run on fast forward. I don't remember them. I can't concentrate on anything. And i seem ( Read more... )

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I know i need to do whats good for me, but i just don't care enough.

I wish i could really write and describe exactly how i feel. When ever i try it just comes out as a bunch of rubbish that i'm sure wouldn't make any sence. I'm cranky, and tired. But i'm cranky and tired all of the time now. I could sleep for days and still wake up with no energry. I feel like everything is trying to move to fast and i'm running ( Read more... )