True love never dies 27/?
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Summary: The story is about Camilla/Sofie. She has an opportunity to visit London after several years. She is there on an assignment and also to meet some new friends. However, destiny wants something more when she meets an old friend that causes her to have to confront the memory loss resulting from a surgery done a few years back. Not possessing any memory of the old friend or what sort of relationship they might have had, she only knows that she has seen him lately in films.
Previous Chapter; Intro-1, Chapter 2-3, Chapter 4-5, Chapter 6-7, Chapter 8-9, Chapter 10-11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26
*Chapter 27*
Before they returned with the food, the nurse had come back to take the blood tests. She let me know that the doctor had ordered the scan for an hour's time, and by the time that was over, the blood result would be back. I thanked her and used the time waiting for our friends to come back to gather my thoughts on how I would relate my story.
Orlando had found a more comfortable position and had fallen back to sleep. Watching him distracted me, but gave me a warm feeling inside, something I hadn't expected to feel, especially concerning a film star. It was like a weird dream that had no chance of ever coming true.
After some time my friends came back, bringing some sandwiches and tea to us. After eating, it felt even better, even if I would want to need more sleep to feel great. I knew that after one of my attacks it always took a few days for the whole body to be 100%.
Then I started telling my story of how I had become the person I was today. Orlando had woken, and moved to sit by my side, holding an arm around me, allowing me to lean against him, giving me his support and strength to allow me to carry on. With his help, I realised that it would make telling my story to anyone outside of my family would be easier than I had feared.
"I'm not sure how much sense I can make of it from the beginning, but I'll try to do my best to tell you something of my background," I began, and they nodded in agreement.
"I've had a lot of help getting things together when I couldn't remember everything on my own," I paused. "Anyway, everything began slowly around 1996. The doctors couldn't give an exact date, but that's when the constant headaches began to bother me. Every month seemed to get worse, and in the end I could hardly do a thing as the pain was always there. After several examinations and myriads of test, they finally detected a brain tumour. As it grew it put pressure on the brain centre and caused the headaches. In the spring of 1998 I underwent surgery for the removal of the tumour. I'd waited as long as I dared before agreeing to the surgery and was told I was lucky that even with the wait, it had been detected at an early stage. To be certain of complete eradication, I had to undergo chemotherapy after the surgery. It made me really sick, and I lost a lot of weight, which in the long run was a good side effect, but not something I would want to go through again."
"So how much did you weight before?" Dominic asked. Everyone glared at him.
"I did have a few to many kilos. According to what I read I wasn't that found of exercise, so you can try to picture it for yourself." I replied, not that offended.
"I liked you then, as I like how you look now. It wasn't that terrible." Orlando said and quickly hugged me.
I could feel myself blushing, because I knew that I was never confident about my weight. I was so happy that I'd come to like exercising and I could now stay at a good weight, of course it was probably a good thing that I couldn't remember a time when I didn't like to exercise.
"Yeah, you look great, and could have thousands of guys around you." Billy complemented. "Not that you didn't look good before. We've all seen the well thumbed picture Orlando carries around with him."
I wanted to run off and hide. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, it couldn't true. I asked Orlando if it was right, and he showed me the picture Billy spoke about. It certainly was well thumbed. Inside I wept tears of joy. It proved that I hadn't been forgotten in all those years. I only wished I could remember more about the relationship we had together back then.
I got so emotional that for a long time I couldn't continue my story. I finished drinking my tea to try and calm myself down. I also drew my legs up to sit in a crouch, which I often did when I was nervous, my way of trying to make myself invisible.
"Why haven't you a steady boyfriend?" Dominic asked, with that broke the silent.
"That probably comes from one of the side effects from the surgery." I said, turning little where I sat. "I don't know why or what happened, but after I woke from the surgery I could barley remember anything. Very, very slowly at first a few things come back. I had to relearn some from scratch, how to speak, and use things. I needed to remember how people should act, what they say with their body language and also try to be comfortable with contacts. There have been those that I had no problem with after I was showed it. Sometimes it only took sometime because it was fragmented."
"What do you mean with fragmented?" Billy asked.
"Hmm. I think best is to compare it with a large jigsaw and when you start it, throw out all the pieces on the table. You know that they never fall into the right place at once. You have to move, turn and make the pieces to fit into the right place. It's been so with my memory. I have still things that haven't come back or are wrong." Not thinking I had strengthen my words with some hand movements.
"Wrong, how? What have that to do with you not having a boyfriend? The loss of memory wouldn't have to stop you to having one." Dominic still hadn't forgotten his question.
"I told you I'm not found of being touched. It makes it kind of hard to get close to anyone. It also has a lot to do with my fucked up memory. When I thought I was getting things sorted, I found out that some of the memories I thought were mine were actually not about my own life, it came from books and films. Because I couldn't trust if my memories were real, it scared me. It made me find it hard to trust people. I got into a few situations where people took advantage of my condition. It was easier to be with as few people as possible. To try and jog my memory, I started reading through old diaries, looking at photo albums, and ask people I trusted to tell me things over and over again." I paused, looking at Orlando. It was now I really had to tell him why I thought his memory had been erased.
Orlando must have felt my uneasiness because he hugged me even tighter and then released me to give me a little space. I liked the way he did that and remembered what I said, even if I had lowered my guard with him. I didn't stiffen up as I had done in the recent past when someone touched me. It actually felt good having someone close.
"Another thing that made me confused and unable to trust was the way my parents seemed to avoid the subject of boyfriends with me. I thought it was wired that I hadn't had anyone in my life. I was certainly old enough to have had several," I smiled. "A few that I've had were still in my memory, but they were back in my teenage years. I suspected there must have been someone during the 90's, so I confronted them, only to be told that there was someone, but it wasn't good. They were very tight lipped, and no matter how many times I asked them about him, they would tell me nothing. To this day they haven't told me why they've kept it from me. That kind of thing from your own parents doesn't help you to trust new people. Somehow I felt sure that the missing boyfriend issue has been very important to me. Maybe my recovery would have been faster if he had been there by my side. It's like something really close and important was missing."
"Just because of that you haven't dared to let any in to a relationship?" Dominic stated. Now the others nodded as they would have asked the same question.
"Yes, you could say that. Especially as the few times I did try to start a relationship I seemed to be comparing them to something or someone unknown. You do tend to search for something in a person that reminds you of... say your parents, or your dream guy or girl. Don't you?"
Berlinda said yes and Orlando almost succeeded to hide that a tear was dropping.
"How does Orlando come into the picture?" Dominic asked, most likely wanting to hear it from me.
"I'm probably the guy who was denied her. We were together from '94 to '98, when we both had surgery. We both learned that on Thursday when I met Sophie in Soho." Orlando replied for me.
"I was very taken aback when Orlando approached me on the street. If he hadn't come with a few facts only a close friend would know, I would never have believed that he might have known me in the past." I looked at the person in question and put my hand over his. "Even if he came out with personal details, I still couldn't remember him as ever having been my boyfriend as he said he had been. When he came up to me I realised I knew him, but as a lot of other people do, through films. I've seen Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean; The Curse of the Black Pearl and Troy. I'd also checked the actors via the Internet and accessed their pictures, which in my mind was the only reason I recognised him."
"Why did you say that you didn't know him when I asked you about it?" Dominic questioned me.
"I said that because I felt I didn't know him. If it had been the other way around and Orlando had asked me if I knew you, I would have told him no as well. You can't know a person from what you read in papers and magazines, or on the Internet. You can maybe start to say you know someone after you've met them a few times. What I believed I should know was so far from what I've read, until last night."
"What changed?" Dominic wondered. The fact that he continued to ask questions clearly showed that he wanted to understand, which felt good. I had a quick flash back from the previous evening of him being there to protect me. I was astonished that he would do that for someone he barley knew.
"Now, as before I've always have loved William Shakespeare's plays and things. When Orlando whispered the Hey Nonny strophe from Much Ado About Nothing in my ear last night I really got a memory of us together." I fell silent, thinking how things really had went and also what had been happening.
My friends said nothing. It was a big help that they hadn't asked too many questions, and hadn't raised their voices. I think I'd been scared that there may have been cause for them to fight amongst themselves.
I took a moment to look at them in turn. Billy looked to be the calmest. He didn't say much, knowing that the conversation was serious. He still had the same shirt on that he wore on stage at Borderline, so must have rushed to the hospital right after gig to support his friends.
Berlinda seemed to be becoming the kind of friend I had missed amongst my old ones. I hoped that we would become even closer after all this. I surely needed someone I could talk to even after this weekend. We had met through an Internet group I had joined to learn to know people with the same interests as myself. Back then I didn't think I would ever get to meet any of them in person, but when I'd received the request to create a web site for a company, I realised that we would be able to meet when I had to travel to London. I was a little scared that our online friendship might be destroyed when we met in the flesh, but now I had no doubts that it would only get stronger.
Dominic was more difficult to read, but somehow that didn't come as a surprise. He was Orlando's friend and in the short period we had known each other, we had been intimate. It had to be so complicated for him to learn that the girl he was attracted to turned out to be the former girlfriend of one of his best friends. If I had been in his shoes… I wouldn't have wanted to get involved as these situations seldom end well. It made no difference if you didn't know about it. In this case I could have resisted a bit more… chose not to. I could only pray that he would take it well and that his friendship with Orlando would not be damaged.
When Orlando said he had never really let me go, it told me he had deep feelings for me. I was really grateful about that when I woke up during the morning, knowing I wanted to continue to explore what we seemed to have together, and where it might lead. A huge plus was the way I felt safe, calm and peaceful when I was close to him. It was such a long time I had felt such inner tranquillity. I didn't shy away from his touch, which I often did with others.
"Orlando, how does your back feel?" I asked him, wanting to hear his soft voice and confirmed that I thought I saw he was in some pain.
"Sore, like I've been run over by a car or something." He smiled through the pain he was in. "Though I'm so happy to be with you." He catches my cheek to not let me withdraw from him when he let his lips brush mine.
If we had been alone I would probably have responded fiercely. I was saved by that the door was opened.
Chapter 28