True Love Never Dies Chapter 13/?
General information and disclaimer: Here
Summary: The story is about Camilla/Sofie. She has an opportunity to visit London after several years. She is there on an assignment and also to meet some new friends. However, destiny wants something more when she meets an old friend that causes her to have to confront the memory loss resulting from a surgery done a few years back. Not possessing any memory of the old friend or what sort of relationship they might have had, she only knows that she has seen him lately in films.
Previous Chapter; Intro-1, Chapter 2-3, Chapter 4-5, Chapter 6-7, Chapter 8-9, Chapter 10-11, Chapter 12
*Chapter 13*
Authors note; It is still from Orlando’s pov. My ‘beta’ and I decided to not do anything with the dairy entries or translate parts of it.
According to my watch it was getting on for ten o’clock, so my mother would be at work. Luckily, I still had a key to the house, so I could just let myself in. I decided to drop in on mum on the way home.
I stopped inside the door, and breathed in the familiar smells. There was something special about being there, loosing myself in the rose fragrance that always said ‘mum’ to me. I was sad knowing that I hadn’t been able to spent a lot of time with her. It felt like years since I’d been ‘home’, even though it had in fact only been a few months. Standing there, I realised how much I missed her. Even when she had flown out to visit me in Morocco, it hadn’t seemed enough. I decided that I would definitely spend some time with her during the following week.
A rumble from my stomach reminded me that it was some time since I’d last eaten, and then it had only been a snack. So, first stop, kitchen. Opening up the fridge, I had to smile when I saw that old habits never seemed to die. There was a stock of sodas, just in case Samantha or I came to visit. I took one, and turned to see if I could find any fruit. There was a full bowl on the counter, so after taking a selection, I left the kitchen.
I walked up the stairs and stopped outside the second door on the left. My room. It wasn’t very big, but perfect for when I came to visit. I sat on the bed, looking out of the window, as I ate my fruit.
I didn’t want to linger too long, so I went to the closet where I had left the old shoebox. It was on the bottom, under some old t-shirts. I was glad I hadn’t stored it in the attic or the basement. It hadn’t felt right to put it with a load of old boxes. I wanted it to be close at hand for whenever I felt the need to look through my memories. Somehow it had soothed me in times I felt low and was missing her so badly. The shoebox was getting old and the lid was just about falling apart.
Sitting back on the edge of the bed, I removed the box lid and the memories came flooding out over me. Everything was so familiar, and it soothed me looking through the contents. I think I remembered the exact moment I received each item, and the feelings I had at the time.
I started picking things out of the box, first a bundle of letters, most of them written by Sophie, and the words all came rushing back to me. Most of them were well thumbed and had been read several times. Instead of loosing myself in them by reading them again, I moved onto the next bundle, which was slightly larger. Skimming through it, I saw clips from our meetings, what we did and how Sophie looked. There were both colour and black and white photos. The majority of them taken by me, and the rest made up of the ones she had sent to me. Why hadn’t I put them in an album?
Next, I took out a copy of Interview with a Vampire. As I picked it up, a bookmark fell out. I didn’t remember leaving it in the book and that I’d been reading it lately. Could Sophie have forgotten it? I turned the bookmark over in my hands and noted that it wasn’t anything special, just a receipt for something that also would be in the box. That told me it must have been my own bookmark. The book was in good condition and I thought I might take it with me to read again later. I remembered it was one of Sophie’s favorites books. She often talked about it, and the others in the series, and I hoped she still liked them. I would ask her on Sunday. I put the book down with the other things.
Looking through everything really got me thinking of the time we had been together, and realizing for me that period was pure bliss. I couldn’t think of many times it hadn’t been good, maybe that was due to our long distance relationship. I come to the small gifts I’d received from her, but I put them aside for a moment, along with a few others things that would have to wait. Instead, I picked up the sheets of paper that lay on the bottom of the box. I unfolded them and looked at the drawings. There was one that especially brought a broad smile to my face. It was one we had draw together. It was a landscape, drawn in graphite with a few details highlighted in light color by Sophie. I thought it was quite good, but remembered that Sophie wasn’t satisfied with it and was ready to throw it away. She had started to crumple it up when I had stopped her. Every time I picked it up to look at it, I tried to smooth away the creases without much success, so the lines were still visible. If she remembered it, I wondered what she would think of it today?
I refolded it and started to put the items back in the box, stopping when I came across a necklace she had made for me. I put it on, regretting that I hadn’t worn it since 1999. It blended in well with the ones I wore now.
I noticed the edge of a black notebook and stopped. I hadn’t remembered that being there. If I wasn’t totally mistaken, it was a diary. Had I written it, or was it one of hers? Opening it, I soon found it to be Sophie’s. How could I have forgotten it? The pages were filled with her changing handwriting. Mostly, they were neat and easily read, but there were a few days with illegible handwriting. Looking at the dates, it was from our second year together - 1996. I randomly shuffled through the pages, reading what she had written.
14 February 1996 -Valentine
I received 2 cards; one from M. and one from O.
I best liked that one I got from my love, I miss him! It was a cute card he chosen - a cat sitting in a box. From the text he written he seem to miss me too. Hope he liked my card as well.
Dagen har annars varit lugn. Gjorde inte så mycket……
It wasn’t only this entry that was written in both English and Swedish. I didn’t understand it as I hadn’t tried to learn much Swedish. Maybe I had thought there was plenty of time to do that after I had finished school. So, for all I knew, she might have been writing bad things about me! I jumped to a new entry.
26 mars 1996
Got some headache when the car didn’t start. Lucky that I could take the other car, when I had to go to the city and collect my tickets. Eight days left until I meet O again. I hope they will go fast.
M. frågade vad jag skulle göra I Påsk. Fattar han trögt att jag är upptagen?!
3 November 1996
Blivit sittande och skrivande idag. Inte här utan på ’Hollywood breeze’. I still haven’t decided whom Sandra should be together with. There is two guy’s 1. who fit her dream guy - brown hair and eyes, a few years older and a very good looking and actor. Then there guy number 2. which is opposite to 1 - blond and blue eyes, being a photo model also handsome. Maybe I should put in a third guy? Perhaps the best when my dark guy is so much like O. To close to reality, except the age. I don’t think that is good in the long run, if I ever will try to sell it. I have to say that I’m most weak about 1, have been since I started the story and when I always have had a special star in mind - KR. Probably have to wait and see what it will become of the story. Matter what so is it O’s eyes that always are with me and if we manage another year I hope it can hold for the rest of our lives. Or do I go too fast? Imagine something there isn’t?
Writing about him reminds me I received a letter a few days ago, so it’s probably would be better to answer that instead of rambling here.
15 July 1996
Sjuk - hemma
Försökte sova större delen av dagen, men nått måste vara fel.
I got headache again. Didn’t help to sleep and the medication doesn’t help either. I think I was quite dizzy when O. called. It helped little to hear his voice, it is so soothing at the same time heartbreaking to know he so far away. I wish he had been here.
Huvudvärken ger mig blixtar och jag hatar alla ljud, det är som om allt later 100 gånger högre.
I was curiosity about what she had written and it was the first time I think I had looked through the book. It seemed funny that she changed language during the entries. Somehow, it ‘sounded’ like everything she wrote about me was put down in English. I wondered why!
5 April 1996 London
It is Långfredag.
Like home, has the banks been closed and a lot of stores too. So we slept in today and take it easy with reading, discussing, laughing. It is so easy to be with O. He is one of the guys I really feel comfortable with.
O and I have been and seen Broken Arrow with Christian Slater. It was okay, my companion is looking a long way better. What did I see in C.? Typical filmstar love. Who will it be next time?
After the film we went to a restaurant in ‘Chinatown’ - Fung Shing. As usual they had good food even if they had changed owners since last time I was here. I think I starting to get hang on how to use the sticks.
21 September 1996
Min födelsedag.
Släktingar var här på förmiddagen för att jag skulle ut på kvällen. ….
Right before Angel and I went out of the door the phone started ringing. It was O, he remembered me this year. It got short and I promised to call him tomorrow.
The evening was celebrated at Harley’s, much to thank for I know the guards - they let in Angel. Maybe they were nice because of my birthday. It is fun to go out with her, she is sugar for the boy’s. We were never alone, but of course I missed one.
16 November 1996 London
Why can’t he listen to me? What is wrong with men?
I hate to be irritated and angry on any. It isn’t feeling better when we know we haven’t much time together. It was a trifle that started the arguing. Which seemed to get bigger for every accusation we could come on. It is irritated to be the older one of us and be learnt that you should listen to the older people.
Maybe it never will work between us. Otherwise there will be the people that would look askance at us because of our age difference. He say that wouldn’t bother him and it isn’t so many years. But how common is it with a pair when the woman is older?
That was just one of the reasons we fight today. Another was about Christmas. Neither of us wants to change our plans and I really think it would be time for him to come to me. He surely could have tried to save some money for an air ticket.
I have also tried to explain for him my situation. I feel I have shorter to explode than before. Can one of the things depend on that I have more often headache?
Which I have had more than half the day.
That was the last entry, written the day before she had gone home. I should probably be happy that she came twice that year. Why had she been so angry? What was it that I hadn’t listened to? I couldn’t recollect the day fully. So my memory wasn’t perfect either. I didn’t think asking Sophie would shed any light on it, so I might never get a complete answer to all my questions. Anyway, it couldn’t have been too bad when we had been together for just over a year. I skimmed through the book again, mostly stopping at the drawings she had made on some pages. Sometimes I thought she had drawn when she hadn’t any urge to write, but had still picked up the book to make some kind of entry. Often it seemed that she chose the ink colour to match her mood. In general, it didn’t look so good in black.
The entries she had made in England helped bring memories of her, how she would often by lying in the bed, absently chewing on the pen while deciding what to write. I wondered if I would ever see her do that again? I thought it would be interesting to see her reaction when I gave her dairy back to her. Hadn’t she told me that she tried to reread the ones she had? She may have even notice one seemed to be missing.
I had recognized a few of the names she mentioned. I liked the way she just use the first initial when she wrote about her friends, or as Angel, her nickname for one of her best friends. I tried to remember the girls real name, and soon had it - Angela. I thought she was in one of the pictures, and had looked like an angel with her blond hair. ‘M’ was probably the schoolmate she had met again through the course she had attended that spring. He had a short name - Mark, no, not an English sounding name. Mats, that was it. She had mentioned a few more and I wondered how many friends she still had now? Or had she completely cut them out of her life along with all the other links? Once again, I wished she had felt able to tell me what had happened to her. It must have been something pretty drastic in her life. Reading about her complaining of a headache, reminded me that she had complained more each year about them. Could that have been part of the cause of her memory loss? I wanted the answer now, but I had promised that I wouldn’t push her, and I intended to keep that promised, no matter how hard it was. Hopefully, she would feel up to telling me a little more when we met up on Sunday.
The last thing I picked up to return to the shoebox was a small rectangular velvet box. It held a gift I had planned to give her the next time we met. That time never came, and there was no way I could have given it to anyone other than her, nor could I bring myself to return it. I had kept it in the hope of giving it to her when I finally found her again. Opening the box, I looked at the gold bracelet and the four charms, one charm for each year we had known each other. I had spent a long time picking them out. They fitted her interests and beliefs. The last charm had been the hardest to find. It was a unicorn. Looking at it now, I was still amazed at how well it had been made. I wasn’t sure if I would give her the gift right away, or if I should wait until I knew how our relationship would develop. I knew I would soon see myself buying new charms for her.
I closed the box and the closet door, and went downstairs. Looking at the clock in the living room, I noticed I had been sitting in my room a lot longer than I had envisioned. It was almost noon. My mother would be on her lunch break, so it would be no bother to show up at her work. I had to tell her that Kate and I wouldn’t make it for Sunday lunch, but would probably be there on Monday instead.
I checked to make sure I’d locked up the house before droving the short distance to see mum.
I sure surprised her, but she was pleased to see me. Of course she wanted to know why I just turned up out of the blue, in typical ‘mother mode’.
“I had to pick up the shoebox with Camilla’s things in.”
“Haven’t you given up hope yet?”
“No, and I’m very glad that I never have.”
My mother must have noticed how my face lit up as she asked me to carry on. She knew me so well, there was no way I could keep quiet about it.
“I found her in Soho yesterday. I almost walked right by her. She’s changed a lot, dropped some weight and looks like she’s been training hard. She’s let her hair grow and had several plaits in it.”
“Did she recognize you?”
“Yes, but there’s a problem. She’s been in some sort of accident which has caused extensive memory loss. She looked really scared, and I got the feeling she didn’t want me to get any closer than arms length. She called me by my name, but I think she only really recognised me from my film work.”
“Did you manage to have a talk with her?”
“I think if I hadn’t tried to convince her that we had know each other by telling her things about herself, she would have just walked away, but I awoke her curiosity, and she agreed to go to a café with me. We sat and talked for almost two hours before she had to leave.”
I continued to tell mum the main parts of the meeting, and she only interrupted with a few ‘what’, ‘why’ and ‘how’.
“So, I’m right in thinking you will meet … Sophie again, aren’t I?”
“Yes, on Sunday, which means that I have to change the dinner plans to Monday if that’s okay?”
She didn’t look too disappointed about my change of plans, just a little concerned. I guessed where some of it lay, and I wasn’t wrong.
“Orlando, you must be careful. You have to be sure of your feelings and not rush into anything. You know that it’s not only you this concerns. You have to think about the others that will be affected by your actions. What have you said to Kate? Does she know anything at all about it?”
I started chewing a fingernail. I knew deep down I had to tell Kate, and the thought of her reaction didn’t appeal to me one little bit.
After a moments silence I said; “I haven’t told her anything yet. I hope to get a chance tonight, or tomorrow at the latest. I just don’t know how to tell her.”
“You know the best way is to be true to yourself, and don’t be too long winded. She was a big part of your life back then, and I think I’m right in saying Kate is too, aren’t I?”
“I know, but I’m not sure of my feelings now. Part of me would love to take up where Sophie and I left off, although I can’t see that happening with her not being able to remember our time together. Another part of me is saying I should hold on to what I have now, even if it’s not fair to Kate. A third part of me is warning me that I may loose both of them, especially as I think Kate will take the whole thing badly. No matter what happens, I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Orlando, take time to think about it on the way back to London. Try to finds out what you heart wants, and maybe wait before making your final decision. But don’t wait too long to speak with Kate, and be gently with her. I think that will make things right in the long run.”
There was only a little time left before mum had to go back to work, and we spent it talking about what had been going on in the past month.
I did what mum said, and on the way back to London I continued thinking about Sophie and what I would say to Kate. I hoped her flight would be on time to enable me to start telling her about it before we went out later tonight.
Then I realized I would have to tell Dominic and Billy something to explain my behaviour at the theatre. I know I must have seemed a bit distracted during the play, and they probably wondered why I left before the end. The reunion with Sophie wasn’t something I had wished or dreamed of.
Even though I was thinking of my upcoming conversation with Kate, I was alert to the traffic conditions. As I got closer to London, it got busier and the afternoon rush had already begun. I knew though, that it wouldn’t make me any later getting back to the apartment than six.
After I left the car with Samantha, I went to the flower shop and bought a bouquet of red, white and blue carnations. Kate would probably suspect something was up, and that’s what I wanted.
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