True Love Never Dies Chapter 4-5/?
General information and disclaimer: Here
Summary: The story is about Camilla/Sofie. She has an opportunity to visit London after several years. She is there on an assignment and also to meet some new friends. However, destiny wants something more when she meets an old friend that causes her to have to confront the memory loss resulting from a surgery done a few years back. Not possessing any memory of the old friend or what sort of relationship they might have had, she only knows that she has seen him lately in films.
Previous Chapter; Intro-1, Chapter 2-3
* Chapter 4 *
Orlando asked again what happened.
"I don't really want to talk too much about it yet. Let's just say that something happened which caused me to have a problem remembering certain things I have been through in the past. It's like a puzzle that has pieces missing or put in the wrong place. Some of my memories have turned out to be from books I've read or films I've seen and they are keeping reality away."
I took a bite from my sandwich and a sip of tea. Orlando were looking at me with a serious expression on his face. He looked as if he was trying to sort out everything I had told him to make sense of it all.
To break the uncomfortable silence I continued. "Altogether I think a few missing years are out there somewhere. I seem to be able to remember everything from the last four years, but there are still so many holes in the previous ten. Reading old diaries and looking at photos hasn't been much help."
"And that's where I am? Erased from your memory." he asked.
"Sadly… yes. It's a total blank. The first picture of you that comes to mind is as … Will… and Legolas!"
A broad smile stretched across his face, softening his serious demeanour. "Of course you've seen the films. You always loved going to the cinema. I would have been very surprised if you hadn't seen them."
"Yeah, I love to get lost in the stories. Even before I lost part of my memory I remember reading, and watching everything I came across. That has never changed. The Internet has made it easier to find information and pictures as well."
"But that doesn't help you to remember what we had."
"No, what was it?" I asked hesitantly, unsure that I really wanted to know the truth.
"When we first met I had been living here in London for a little over a year. We met in a Pub. You were there with some friends," he began. "For the following week we were inseparable. Have you any memory about the time you got your tattoo on your left shoulder?"
I put my hand on my shoulder where I had my tattoo. It was a heart with a cross stabbed through and encircled with flames. I shook my head. "All I remember is that the studio was on Portobello Road and it was called Saint Tattoo. I thought I was alone when I was there."
"Oh no. We went there twice. After you saw my sun you said that you had decided to have one done when you were here. You said you couldn't go home without one. You had drawn a picture of a larger one, but kept trying to make it smaller because you didn't want one too big. When you were satisfied with the design we went to the studio, but when we saw how many people were waiting we walked away. The rest of the day you kept on talking about it. You felt like a chicken because we hadn't stayed. I dragged you back the following day and made sure you didn't bail out. Have you any regrets about it?"
"No. I don't think I ever will. I'm planning on getting some new ones of fantasy animals. So I have you to thank for getting me started on my first one. Do you have any more than just the sun?"
Orlando pulled up the shirt sleeve on his right arm. I saw the 'nine' tattoo. I had an urge to touch it, but I didn't dare to. I didn't understand where the urge to touch him had come from. It just crept up on me.
"I think you have convinced me that you know me somehow. My tattoo isn't visible through my shirt, so how would you have known about it? There must be a lot more you know about me if we were together so much." I paused as a thought occurred to me. "What were you doing in the pub in the first place? Weren't you too young to get in?"
"I went there with some older friends of mine. In those years I used to party a lot. I never seemed to have any problems getting into places." He paused before he continued. "You and I had some amazing nights out, too."
He seemed to be remembering those times and his eyes lit up with pleasure. I so much wanted to be able to share the feelings with him, but it was still a blank. Could we have fallen for each other as he seemed to be hinting?
As we sat there in the café I was amazed by what was happening and by what Orlando was telling me. It all sounded like a fairy tale. He could've been talking about any other girl that he knew from a long time ago but he wasn't. He was talking about me. The things he was telling me sounded so familiar and correct. He spoke of things that no one other than a close friend would have known about.
I'd been through moments like this before, but this time it was different. Scarier. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined myself sitting down with a celebrity and having him tell me things about myself that I had no memory of. Chills blew over me when he spoke of very personal facts concerning me. I was beginning to become convinced that he really did know me well.
My frustration grew as I still felt nothing personal between us. I really wanted and needed to know how close we had been. It felt so strange that I hadn't the tiniest hint of memory of him at all. Everything else had held a small reminder of things, but this was a total blank to me. I tried to remember if he had been in any of my photographs from 1994 and my London trip, but my minds eye couldn't seem to find him. It gave me the feeling that all knowledge of him had been totally erased.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered how every memory about a particular person could disappear. It was hard to understand why the slightest memory was no longer there. What could have caused it? Could it be that something didn't want him in my life? Had it been too good, or too bad? What was our destiny?
A hand was placed over mine to bring me back from my thoughts. It was warm and soothing. I looked up at him. I tried to see what was there behind his beauty. Physically Orlando seemed to be in very fine shape though his face hinted at slight tiredness. But beneath that I saw something else. I moved my hand to rest on his and began to stroke his knuckles with my thumb. He looked down, brought up his other hand, and enclosed mine in both of his. Was that desire that flashed in his eyes for a brief second?
"Did we know each other for a long time?" I asked, unable to break eye contact.
"A few years. You came over here a few times. We tried to make it work as well as we could."
"When was it I sort of disappeared?"
"It was sometimes during 1998. I was struggling a lot in school and I let my letters and calls to you slide. I will admit that I was too consumed in what I was doing to worry about any outside distractions. At first I didn't notice that you hadn't replied to my letters. When a few came back to me unopened, I really began to worry. Before I fell and broke my back I tried to find you. I really missed you terribly. When I couldn't make contact I wished that you felt the same way about me and would try to contact me."
With each sentence he spoke I noticed that his eyes darkened with the sad memories. There was a lot of feeling behind those eyes. It gave his words a deep meaning and told me he was telling the truth. Watching the emotions play over his face touched my heart. I leaned over the table as far as I could and stroked his cheek with my free hand. Somewhere inside I could feel the loss he was feeling. It was terrible to lose someone you felt so close to, believing the worst had happened. It was terrible to miss friends when you needed them the most.
After a pause Orlando continued; "From time to time I still tired to find you, but it was if the ground had swallowed you up. I could never be satisfied thinking I had lost you forever. The hope always remained in my heart that we would meet again. Do you understand how happy I am to have found you again? I know I never want to lose you again. I couldn't live through it a second time."
"Please… Orlando… don't wish for too much. We can't make promises we may not be able to keep. I don't' think I'm the same person I was before. The years have changed me a lot, aside from what happened. You certainly live a completely different life than you did ten years ago. Haven't things happened that you didn't count on?"
"Well… yes… but I hope I'm still the same person now as I was then, just with a bit more experience and common sense. I try to live a 'normal' life, as much as my work allows me. You're right. There are things that have happened that I would never have dreamt of. I didn't count on finding myself worshipped by thousands of girls for a start. It overwhelms and scares me. But all of that won't invade our friendship. I won't let it." His eyes held mine for a long silent moment.
I reluctantly broke eye contact and looked back down at his hands still holding mine. "Orlando, when I can't remember anything about us and what kind of relationship we had, I'm scared that I won't be able to find the same feelings for you again. You are like a stranger to me and I won't leap into anything in haste. So, don't expect us to be able to carry on the same as we were as if nothing had happened. I don't want to build up hopes in you just in case the feelings don't return. I can't say if what we had was good or bad, even if your eyes tell me it was. You must give me time to take all this in. Can you do that? Please?" I looked back up into his eyes hoping to see a sign of acceptance.
"Anything you wish," he replied softly. "I can't begin to understand how it must be for you or feel what you have been through all this time. Do you think you can make one promise to me, though?"
I nodded, making no verbal reply to his request. I had a feeling what his question was going to be and knew I would agree.
"Whatever happens between us, can you try to never lose contact with me again, even if we can only remind friends?"
"At this moment I feel the ball is in your court, and it would be an honour to be your friend, but we can't know what the future may hold for us. Mysterious is the way we walk… One thing I should tell you is the reason why you couldn't find me. I changed my name a few years ago."
"Why? Camilla is a beautiful name."
"When I came back… I didn't feel I wanted to keep it. I had never liked the name much anyway. Camilla is connected to too many dark things and in changing my name I hoped to leave them all behind and forget them. Unfortunately they are still there, but I changed my name to Sofie 1999."
"Sofie ... Sofie"
He turned his head to the side, watching me when he tested it. I thought he, as with most of the old friends, would not be able to see me with the new one. I didn't know what I wanted him to think.
"I think it might suit you. It's a lady's name."
It warmed my heart to hear him say that. It was so sweet of him. I reluctantly broke the eye contact we held and looked at my watch. We had been sitting there for quite a long time and I wasn't sure how long it would take to get to 'The Black Friar' where I was due to meet up with Berlinda. As lovely as the meeting had been, I wasn't sure I could take too much more. I was feeling the start of a headache.
"Orlando, it's been so much fun to meet you, but I have arranged to meet up with a friend, so I think we should say goodbye for now."
"Not before we decide when we will meet again. There is so much more to talk about. Will you be with your friend all evening? How long will you stay here in London?"
"I will be with her tonight and tomorrow. I also have some work to do and meet another friend on Saturday and then I will go home Sunday evening."
"Could we meet up on Sunday? I would have loved to catch up with you earlier, but I have some things planned for tomorrow and Saturday."
"Sunday sounds good, after I've finished my work. I should be free around twelve."
"Okay, I'll pick you up at your hotel. Shall we say one o'clock?"
"Great. I'm staying at the London Embassy Hotel on Bayswater Road."
"Brilliant. I'll see you there, and we'll have lunch. Can I walk you to where you're meeting your friend?"
"Thanks, but that's not necessary. Actually I hoped to be able to do an errand before I get there."
"We can do that together. It will not be any problem."
"Hey, are you afraid to let me go in case I disappear or forget where I am?" I joked. "It isn't a problem any more. I love to use public transport. I don't plan to vanish… and I won't stand you up. I promise."
A big smile appeared on Orlando's face at hearing my words. "That did cross my mind. But it's not the only reason I offered. I like your company and want to spend as much time with you as I can. So please… indulge me!"
We shared a laugh before I spoke again. "Okay, first stop: H. Samuels to buy some dragons and then to the Black Friar where I will meet my friend."
"You still collect the Pocket dragons?"
"Yes. And some of the Myth and Magic items, too."
"Well… come on then. We can go shopping for some new ones. My car's parked not too far away."
* Chapter 5 *
After we got in Orlando's car, he started it and drove to one of the stores on Oxford Street. He was lucky to find somewhere to park nearby. On the short walk to H Samuel, I noticed many heads turning in his direction. Although he had put on his sunglasses, they couldn't hide who he was.
Through the storefront window I noticed that they had a few new Pocket Dragons that I didn't have along with some Lord of the Rings jewellery. After seeing the jewellery I had to smile and look over at Orlando as he walked beside me down the sidewalk. There was so much merchandise associated with the films that I wondered how he felt seeing it wherever he turned. The fan interest wasn't over yet either. Many people were waiting for the extended version of Return of the King to come out since the theatrical version had just been released on DVD and VHS.
We entered the store and I began looking at the Pocket Dragons. Orlando was very patient with me when I had difficulty choosing which ones I wanted. After some time I finally chose one Pocket Dragon and a wizard in the Myth and Magic series.
I told the young clerk behind the counter which ones I wanted but before I was able to pay for them Orlando had his wallet out ready to do so for me. While she gathered the merchandise, I noticed that she glanced a lot at Orlando. She was obviously a fan. When she got his attention she blushed. And he didn't make it any easier for her by flirting. I felt sorry for her so I didn't stay and wait for her to wrap the goods.
The store was a rather large one and there were several costumers about so I was able to wander around undisturbed. While Orlando was preoccupied with my purchase, I began looking for their Lord of the Rings jewellery. I thought it would be a bit uncomfortable doing it with him at my side since he was in the films. I wanted to buy Arwen's Evenstar if it was a reasonable price. I spotted the necklace was there among the display items.
"It is very nice jewellery," I heard a female voice say from behind the counter. "Have you seen that we have it as earrings too?"
"Yes, it is a beautiful charm." I replied. "I think I saw that there were earrings as well, but I'm not interested in them. How much does the Evenstar cost with a matching chain?"
She told me the price and I tried to convert the money back to my own currency in my head. If I calculated right, I would be paying more fore it here than I would be paying for it online. Although I wanted it so much, at that price it was way out of my league.
"As much as I would like to get it I'm not able to buy it today," I told her.
"Is there anything else that might interest you?" she asked.
"No thanks. I'm finished. I'm just waiting until my friend picks up our purchases."
The clerk walked away and I went back to the desk where Orlando was still standing. The young girl came back to give him the bag.
"Hi. There you are. I didn't see where you went," Orlando said as I walked up to him.
"I was just over there," I replied, pointing to the other end of the store. "I was looking at some other things they have to offer."
"Did you see anything you like?"
"Yes. I might go back and buy it another day. I need to think about it." I replied quickly, adding the last bit to stop him from asking any more questions or offering to buy that too.
When we passed the door I noticed that the young clerk was still looking at us. She would probably have a nice story to tell her friends later. Not only that Orlando had been shopping there, but that he left with his arm around my shoulders.
After we had walked a little way down the street I quickened my pace so his arm would leave my shoulders. I regretted it immediately. I slowed my pace to walk back beside him again. We walked the rest of the way to the car in silence. We got in and he pulled out into traffic.
I turned to look at him. I couldn't get enough of it. I thought I might want more from him than he might be able to give or that I even wanted to receive. I couldn't deny how happy I felt meeting him. It was a dream. A dream I thought would never come true. It's not everyday that you meet a big star who notices you and wants to be your friend. I had to keep pinching myself. To keep it all in perspective I had to try telling myself that there would never be anything between us. Not in the way I dreamed it could be.
I wasn't sure if I was in love with the dream of being with him or if I had managed to fall in love with the real man in the short time I had been with him. I quickly dismissed that idea as not being a wise thing. Not before I could retrieve any memory of the years we had spent together in the past. I had to see this as a new friendship and start from scratch.
I also knew I had to gather up enough courage to tell him why I had acted the way I did moments before. It was a way I had about me. Although I couldn't understand my reactions, I had mixed feelings. I liked the way he seemed to want to touch me, but there was the problem I had with close contact and touching.
Before I knew it, we were pulling up outside The Black Friar.
"Orlando, there is something I think I need to explain to you." I began. "I'm sorry that I walked away from you before and haven't spoken since."
"Don't worry. It's okay," he replied, "You already said that you need time. I understand."
"It's not just that. I think there is one more thing I need to say to you."
"You have a boyfriend, a family?" he asked, anxiously.
"Please listen. It's not that," I began, agitatedly. "I'm just not comfortable when people touch me. It has something to do with what happened to me. It's left me feeling unsure of what people expect from me. Not that I didn't like you touching me. It felt good when you did. I just wanted you to know that."
I felt near to tears. I was afraid that it might scare him off because he seemed to need close contact with those he was close to. I looked down at my hands resting in my lap. I began to grow uncomfortable with the silence between us. As I was about to open the car door I felt his hand stop me.
"Cami… Sofie, don't run." he said, worriedly. "Don't be afraid to tell me what you feel, or if I cross the line in any way. If you don't say anything I won't know if I do anything wrong. I want you to feel at ease with me."
"I feel more secure with you than I have felt with anyone in a long time," I replied honestly. "I feel much less tense than I usually am around people. It feels good."
He dared to stroke away the lonely tear that had escaped to roll slowly down my cheek. If I didn't have the cast iron control I used on myself I would have thrown my arms around his neck and kissed him. He put his hand under my chin to raise my eyes to his. His deep chocolate eyes mirrored my feelings. I could tell he was trying to keep himself under control as well. He stroked his fingers over my lips instead. I let him do it without turning my head away. I closed my eyes for a moment to calm my nerves.
"I'll see you on Sunday then," I said suddenly, unable to find another way out of this situation. "Bye."
I grabbed my bag and opened the door. I quickly stood and exited the car before anything else could happen. Just as I was about to close the door he spoke.
"Wait! Let me give you my address and phone number… just in case you need me."
He searched in his glove compartment for a pen and paper. I remembered the small notebook I always carry in my bag and handed it to him. He had already found a pen and scribbled down the address and number for me.
As he handed it back to me he said, "Bye Sofie, I'll see you on Sunday at one o'clock."
Chapter 6-7