True love never dies 19/?
General information and disclaimer: Here
Summary: The story is about Camilla/Sofie. She has an opportunity to visit London after several years. She is there on an assignment and also to meet some new friends. However, destiny wants something more when she meets an old friend that causes her to have to confront the memory loss resulting from a surgery done a few years back. Not possessing any memory of the old friend or what sort of relationship they might have had, she only knows that she has seen him lately in films.
Previous Chapter; Intro-1, Chapter 2-3, Chapter 4-5, Chapter 6-7, Chapter 8-9, Chapter 10-11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18,
After a long time is the waiting over for a new part of this story.
There can still be a few minor grammatical things and misspelling, though it is checked and sometimes it is so things fall in between the fingers. So if there is anything you find I would appricate if you tell me and say what's right.
As always I have to thank my beta brolga_23
*Chapter 19*
Kate’s pov
Authors Note:
As this is the first time you have to follow the story from Kate, my first beta and I decided it would start ‘in the air’, so you got a little more hang of her. I know that few things got repeated from previous parts, but it would be weird to not have it here also.
I was happy that I didn’t have any problems flying, especially as after only a few days in the USA I was airborne again back to Europe. This time it wasn’t for work though. I was about to spend a well earned rest with love of my life, my handsome, sexy boyfriend. I felt so lucky that we were together, especially knowing that there are millions of girls and women all around the world who dreamt about him, if that was enough. It was crazy how the female population were so fanatical about Orlando Bloom. Most of them didn’t know the ‘real’ him and were never likely to meet him.
I was so looking forward to the coming weeks. I would finally be able to spend time with him, and not just a snatched moment during filming or other work commitments lasting only a few hours, or at best a few days. Looking back on our recent time together we had only managed a few hours during the Cannes festival, and a couple of days when I was able to visit him in Morocco on the set of Kingdom of Heaven.
The biggest disadvantage of his celebrity as I saw it, was the minimum amount of time we could spend in each others company. Compared to ‘ordinary’ people, our moments together were rare, as there were usually people around us or some event to attend. It had been little better at the beginning of our relationship, but as Orlando become more popular, it became harder not to be watched wherever we went. This made me to cherish the few times we could be alone.
To help pass the time on the flight, I began going over all that we’d been through together. What better way to relax than walk down the alley of memories? There were things I felt that I needed to go through, such as what lay ahead for us. As I analysed things, I realised there were indications of possible problems which worried me. I may need to take them up with Orlando, especially if our relationship was going to continue to work.
The first year, I think we had what all new couple have. Even though Orlando’s star was in the ascendance with his fans, we had managed to keep our relationship as much as possible away from the public gaze. This hadn’t been possible for to long, however, and the day surely arrived when we had to admit that we were together. Why would we deny it? Every couple in love should be free to show their feelings.
During the meal on the plane, I thought back to the sandwich that tasted as bad as the airline food. Or was it just the ingredients Orlando had put in the sandwich he had tried to feed me. I forget if we were at his place or mine, but wherever we were there hadn’t been a lot in the refrigerator or the cupboard. However he had managed to put together a few things, and made up a filling of ham and M&M’s. It was a real weird taste, and after the first bite and chew I refused to eat anymore unless he did also. For several minutes he refused, but as he wanted me to eat some more, he finally took a bite. He must have had something else on his mind as before he swallowed, he started to kiss me, and shoved the food into my mouth. In order not to choke, I had to swallow it. The kiss had been so much better than the sandwich, which lay forgotten on the plate, and we ended up kissing for hours. I was quite happy to do the latter many more times.
Thinking about it, he was always doing something spontaneous that made me laugh, blush, love him even more, embrace and cherish him. Once in the city, on a day when we had tried to go shopping for hours and I complained that my feet were hurting, he had started to carry me. I think someone had stopped to asked what was the matter and he had replied ‘I’m carrying my girl because her feet hurt’. Another time I had been sick, and he had gone all over the city just to find that special soup he knew I loved.
A few times he had sent me small things he thought I would like. He would always give me a present when we were able to meet up. I loved it, although I sometimes wondered what his intensions were, especially those times his attention didn’t seem to be fully with me. He hadn’t wanted to enlighten me in what was troubling him, and if I pushed for an answer, I seemed to piss him off, so I often tried to look between my fingers at those times. There was one present that I used a lot, it was a brown leather bag in which I could fit all of my day to day things, so I carried it with me everywhere.
When it came down to me and things I had done for him, I often had the feeling that everything wasn’t alright. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but they were surprises which for a short second he didn’t seem to appreciate. He seemed somehow to want to keep a distance between us. It was those times that I doubted we would ever be the perfect couple, and that was why I felt that we had a take time to talk things through.
After the plane had landed, and I had collected my suitcase and hailed a cab to take me to Orlando, I made the decision that before he started filming again I would try to get him to talk to me about why he seemed so distant. If he tried to stall or change the subject, I would have to be firm and push him to tell me everything that was on his mind, no matter what it may do to our relationship.
Even if we hadn’t been apart too many days, I was still eager to see him. He had given me the keys to the apartment, but knowing he would be there, I rang the bell. He opened the door quickly and let me in. As soon as I was inside I dropped my suitcase and threw my arms around him.
He seemed not to have expected that and was little stiff which was unusual for him, even when he was feeling pain from his back. So after my greeting I stepped back, still keeping a hold on his hand, and watched his face before I asked him what was wrong.
“It’s nothing, just tired. The filming seems to finally have taken its toll on me,” he answered, and as fast as I let him go he turned his back on me and walked away.
I picked up my suitcase and followed him, thinking he was heading back to his bedroom as he was dressed only in his trousers.
“I’ve missed you so much since Cannes. I would have rather spent time with you than going home. I spent the first day asleep through jet lag, I wish it didn’t affect me so bad. I knew that we didn’t get that much sleep in Cannes and that could also been a reason. I also have to say that travel so much easily makes it very boring, even though I do love where it takes me to. Worst thing to fly back and forth is the damn jet lag. I did say that, didn’t I? Any way it’s the truth. Even though I must say it was nice to get home to my cats and family, even if that’s not the same as us being together. You should have seen Dusty and Louise, they were so pleased to have me home that they wouldn’t let me out of their sight. The second day I was home was spent with Anne, and we went out shopping. I got home with several bags full of new clothes, a skirt, two new tops, a bikini… Are you listening to anything I’m saying?”
Orlando didn’t really look as if he was listening to me at all, and when he didn’t respond to my question, I stopped talking. Instead of speaking, I stood watched how he put on the shirt he’d taken from the closet. I loved his chest, and loved to stroke my fingers over it. I couldn’t take my eyes of him as he buttoned the shirt and tucked it into his trousers. When he picked up his necklace, I noticed a new one that he hadn’t worn in Cannes. It looked like a leather thong with a homemade charm.
“What’s that?” I asked as I pointed at it and couldn’t hold in the next question, “Is it a gift from one of your adoring fans?”
He looked down at it, shook his head and answered, “It’s from an old friend.”
As I hadn’t seen it before I continued my questioning, “Why haven’t you worn it before?”
“Because I only found it today when I was going through some old things. Did you remember that we’re going out tonight?” he asked, and I noticed the way he had changed the subject. Usually he wasn’t that quick as he seemed to love all his charms, and telling me about them.
I had remembered that we were due to go out, first to a restaurant, and then to a club to listen to Billy Boyd’s band, so in answer to his question, I nodded. Somehow I suspected that there was something more behind his behaviour. It was so like the others times when I felt his distance, although today he seemed a little different. I just couldn’t work out what the difference was. There was an atmosphere between us that I know shouldn’t be there.
“You’ll need to freshen up before we head out. I’ll wait for you in the living room, I have something to show you,” he ordered as he walked from the bedroom.
I did what he suggested and headed to the shower to wash off the travel dust, picking out my makeup bag, towel and some fresh underwear as I went past my bag. I wondered what it was he had needed to show me. He had sounded very serious… I could always hope it was what I wanted.
Maybe he was ready to take our relationship further, maybe he had decided we were right as a couple. Perhaps that was why he was so rigid and distant, because he was nervous about what I would say. I felt a little smile creep over my face. I was more than ready to take things further. I was so sure of my feelings… I really love him.
If it didn’t happen now, I had a wish that he might at least speak about it later this year. I wanted to think that we had a relationship that was as stable as we could make it considering our jobs. So far we had been through enough to make me think that it wasn’t impossible. On the plus said of our relationship was the fact that we were so spontaneous together. I believed that would help us from getting bored with each other.
Then of course, there was the possibility that he had decided that it wouldn’t work between us, although that was something I didn’t want to think about. He was certainly one of the best things that had ever happened to me, and I didn’t want to lose him. Anyway, I knew if you really looked at the relationship there were things that weren’t too good either. I didn’t like to be so uncertain of what the future would bring for us. I also probably had to confess that I was a little jealous.
After my shower, I dried myself off and picked up a pair of black trousers and multi coloured blouse with frills. As I fixed my hair I could hear that Orlando was listening to some music. I couldn’t make out what it was from the bedroom, and didn’t recognized it either.
‘watch the clock on the wall, feel the slowing of time, hear a voice in the hall…’* I had definitely not heard him listen to this music before. As I went into the living room he seemed to be either deeply into the music or lost in thought. He usually reacted when he heard me, but he didn’t turn as I walked in. I cleared my throat to let him know I was there.
His pose changed slightly, but before he could speak the doorbell rang. He rose and started to walk to the door saying, “I thought it would be nice if there were just the two of us, so I ordered some food.”
“I thought we were eating out?” I asked, as that’s what we had talked about earlier.
“We were, but I decided to make a few changes to our plans,” Orlando paused a moment before continuing. “What I have to talk to you about is here, and I wanted to be certain we wouldn’t be disturbed.”
I stood there as he went to get the food. I went into the dining room and noticed the bouquet standing on the table. It was made up of red, white and blue carnations and looked very fresh. I loved carnations, so I had to bend and smell them.
As Orlando came back with plates and cutlery, I had to ask him, “Darling, they lovely. Did you buy them for me?”
“Yes, I did.” he replied.
I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. He was so lovely. As his hands were full he couldn’t return my hug, but answered my kiss. I devoured him for some time, but his response wasn’t as frenzied as mine, so after a little while I let him go.
The music was getting on my nerves, so I went to the CD to switch it off. I didn’t want to listen to it as we were eating.
He realised what I was about to do. “Don’t turn it off, I want to listen. You can turn it down.”
When I said that he never listened to that kind of music, he replied shortly that he did now. So if he wanted it on, I made sure that it was going to be so low that it was almost silent. I returned to the table and sat down by the plate he had set for me.
I looked in the boxes of foods and realised it wasn’t really what I felt like eating. There were a few things I had trouble swallowing, but I was so hungry I started to fill my plate.
We began eating in silence and Orlando seemed to be watching me. I wondered what he was thinking. I noticed some frown lines appear and then vanish, so he was clearly worried about something. It had to be to do with what he wanted to talk to me about and show me. Why would he want to make sure we weren’t disturbed otherwise.
I started to feel a little uncomfortable, and impatient about him not saying anything. As the minutes passed, I placed my hand over his which was laying on the table.
To break the silent I said what was on my mind, “Love, you must be really tired, you seem so far away.”
“You pointed that out already. It’s partly due to what I have to tell you.” he replied, confirming some of my thoughts.
“Are there things you have to change? Do you have to leave earlier than expected for Elizabethtown?” I enquired.
“That hasn’t been changed… it’s some other things,” he began. “Like not going to my mother on Sunday, but going on Monday instead, if you’re still up for it.” He said the last bit in little more than a whisper.
I was about to ask why, but he continued, “I have to meet someone here in London on Sunday instead. I can’t change it as the person is leaving in the evening.”
He continued with his meal and I didn’t say anything else. The high tones from the music and the clatter of cutlery were all that was heard for a long moment. What he said slowly sank in, and I somehow suspected there was more to this than he was saying, and maybe it had to do with what he wanted to talk about. “Who?’” I asked.
Instead of answering me he took his plate out into the kitchen. I wanted an answer, so I got up and followed him. When he still didn’t seem to want to speak, I asked him what had suddenly come into my mind, “It’s a girl, isn’t it?”
He didn’t seem to want to give me an answer, or was he just stalling? His behaviour really made me suspect that it was a woman, and he was acting as any other male would, being edgy. He took my hand and dragged me to the sofa, urging me to sit down. He then sat beside me.
“You’re right. I want to talk to you about a woman. I want you to sit and listen to everything I need to tell you before you decide anything. After that, it’s up to you what you want to do,” he finally said.
My suspicions confirmed, I could do noting but nod. So, would this now be the end of our relationship? I hope he took my nod as a yes that I would try to listen when he finally seemed ready to talk. Would I get the answer to some of the doubts I had?
“First I think I need to apologize to you for not mentioning anything about it earlier.” Orlando began.
My eyes went big, and I had to ask, “You mean this has been going on for a long time?” as that was what it sounded like.
“Kate, please let me say what I need to before you make assumptions.”
I pouted, thinking that was easy for him to say, then sank down into the sofa. I saw that he was watching my reactions.
“Actually it goes back about ten years. Before I start to tell you about her, you need to know why I haven’t mentioned anything about her to you before. I’ve been scared to admit to anyone what my feelings have been, even to myself. It also hinged on the fact that I thought it was doomed between her and I, which it very well might be… Oh shit, that sounds confusing, doesn’t it?”
“It does, maybe you should take it from the beginning and then explain.” I said.
He started talking. “It was in November ’94. I met a girl and we clicked instantly. It was awesome, and we were together for about four years to a time before my accident. I loved her and tried not to think about the fact that she is older than me and isn’t even from England, let alone London. We tried to make things work as well as possible. You know yourself how it has been for us two. The last year we were together, outside things around me increased, and I just didn’t manage to keep in touch.”
This was more than he’d ever told me about a previous relationship, so I sat and waited for him to continue.
“Of course, it wasn’t until she wasn’t around that I realised what my true feelings for her were. I loved her. I worried a lot when I couldn’t seem to get in touch with her. My phone calls weren’t answered, then suddenly the number no longer existed. My letters were returned as well. I might have been able to accept that she was no longer in my life, but I needed her to know what my feelings towards her were. I tried everything I could to find her again, and even if it became less and less the years went by, she is, and always has been, part of my heart.”
He couldn’t keep his feelings hidden and I could see in his face that he was really worried about this girl. A few tears even escaped to slide down his cheek. As I tried to digest what he was telling me, I really didn’t know what to do. It didn’t feel right to reach out and touch him and I stayed silent because I felt he had more to say.
Orlando seemed to collect himself a little and then continued with his story, “When I lost her I knew that she was one of the rarest women I had ever met and wanted, or thought I could spend the rest of my life with. As the time passed and I couldn’t find her I tried to meet new girls. I tried to come to terms with the fact that with every passing day, the possibility of finding her grew fainter. However, there was still a little part of me that clung to the hope that a miracle might happen. After a few years I couldn’t even talk about it for fear of opening up the wounds. That’s one reason why I’ve never told you about her.”
He seemed so lost and miserable that I moved along the sofa to get close enough to put my arm around his shoulders. Knowing that he loved to feel the warmth and contact of another person, I hoped I could make him feel a little better knowing that he wasn’t going through this alone.
“I actually thought I’d forgotten her when I met you, and I do love you. This life has shown me a lot lately and somehow I thought I would soon be ready to take a step further, to take it easier and concentrate more on us,” he said, and probably not thinking took my hand between his, absently drawing circles on it with his thumbs.
I couldn’t stay silent longer and had to ask, “There’s more to it, what happened recently?”
He nodded in reply, so I asked the next question that I thought I already knew the answer to, “You found her again?”
“The truth is that it’s really been quite a while since I’ve thought about her. The last time I tried to find her was before the Kingdom shoot. The Gods must have been of a different mind, because yesterday I ran into her… here in Soho.” he answered.
“So, she’s the friend you got the necklace from and are going to meet on Sunday?” I felt I needed confirmation of what I’d put together.
“Yes it is,” he admitted. “So in one way you’re right about it having been on going for a long time, but you don’t have to worry about me having cheated on you as I only met her again yesterday. It did start me thinking about our relationship though, and I realised that I still had deep feelings for her.”
That was something that I didn’t want to hear, but at the same time needed to. “But if you met her yesterday you still could have cheated. And what did you decided about our relationship?”
“I only met her for a few hours during the day. We went to a café, and then to H. Samuel in Oxford Street. After that I drove her to ‘The Black Friar’ as she was meeting a friend. When I’ve got it all straight in my head, you’ll be the first to know where it leaves us. You will know more by the time I finish this story.”
“Please don’t say it’s more than just friendship! What about her? What’s she been doing since you parted?” I know that I raised my voice with each word I spoke, but I couldn’t stay calm.
“Kate! I’m sitting here. I can hear you clearly enough without you needing to shout. Please try to stay calm while I tell you. You promised to listen to everything.” he said in his constantly soft voice.
“Yeah I did and I almost regret that promise, but okay spill out the last of it before you say what you think about me.” I said in a more normal pitch.
“Now you’re being unfair. It’s almost six years since I last saw her, and if I tried to go forward don’t you think that she tried to do the same? I still have to tell you her side of the story.” After saying that he rose and began pacing the floor. He glanced at his watch and then began to relate her side of the story.
“One of the reasons I hadn’t been able to find her is that she changed her name.”
It sounded so unusual the questions just come, “Changed her name. From what to what? Why did she?”
“I don’t think the name is important. Even in life we play roles and it doesn’t matter which character you choose. The only thing that counts is the true person inside of you. The name change was one of the reasons I couldn’t find her. Why she hadn’t answered the phone or letters is that she had an accident too in 98. She told me she lost her memory and now she still hasn’t got it back fully.”
“Orlando, what do you mean?”
“She didn’t remember me, about us.”
Watching him stand there with tears streaming down his face told me just how much this girl must have meant to him, and how much her loss must have affected him. He tried to dry his face, ashamed to show his feelings for me.
Composed once more, he continue, “Most of the time we were together yesterday was spent trying to convince her that we really HAD known each other and been together. I managed to tell her a few things that only a close friend would know. She then wanted to hear of the things we did together. Thinking back I didn’t learn too much about what she’s been doing with her life lately. She said she was here in London on an assignment, then she was going to meet some friends, remember I said that’s why I drove her to the pub. Sunday is the first day that she would have free for us to meet up again. I want to find out if there is any way she can get her memory back. I will be happy if we can be friends again at least.”
“Is she good looking?” I had to hear what I was up against.
“I remembered that I had saved a lot of things in a box and I went to Canterbury and fetched it. It was there I found the necklace and those photos.” saying the last he pointed to a pile on the table.
I hadn’t noticed them earlier, so I picked them up to look through. There were quite a lot so I didn’t spend too much time on each one. There were both colour and black and white photos. The girl in most of them was totally different from me or any of the other women Orlando had been out with in the last few years.
Looking at her in the photos, I thought I could easily beat her in the looks department. She had dark hair, cut short. It looked like she wasn’t all that tall. The biggest thing against her was the fact that she was… FAT. So, in my eyes she didn’t look good at all. I wondered what on earth he ever saw in her. What was so special about her that he couldn’t forget her?
“She looks different now. She’s lost a lot of weight and her hair is long. I have to say she’s a good looking woman,” his voice brought me back from my thoughts, but did nothing to calm me.
He continued, “It all got me thinking and considering what I feel and might want.”
“And what is that?” I felt I couldn’t stay composed. “Do you think I will compete with … that.” I pointed to the photos. “Even if you say you haven’t cheated on me it FEELS LIKE IT.”
The reality hit me. I was in danger of losing him and I didn’t want to let him go. I couldn’t hold back the tears and let them flow freely. I hadn’t seen it coming. It couldn’t be true... Please, don’t let it to be true.
Orlando came towards me and tried to give me a hug, but I wasn’t ready to feel his arms around me after what he’d just told me. I couldn’t be near him, he had really hurt me. I ran to the bedroom but it didn’t help as he followed me.
“Please, Kate, I love you, but I have to confess it’s not the same love I felt for Sophie. I still want to be with you,” he said, and I thought to myself that guys really thought they could play with their girls.
When I didn’t respond to him he continued, “We have a good thing going and I don’t want to lose you. Please, it’s much better than I tell you all this now, and as I said I really regret not I having mentioned it earlier. You know that I rarely speak about any of my previous girlfriends. I like to concentrate on the moment.”
“Yeah!... and now you hope that I’ll leave… AND get the love of your life back.” He had made my blood boil, “I thought we had something really good, but it seems you are just like all the other men.” He sure needed to hear how I was feeling.
“But Kate, I don’t even know if she is single or has a boyfriend. She didn’t seem to be the girl I remember, she has changed a lot, and she seems now to hate being touched. I’m telling you about this because I really care about you, and you are a big part of my life, as Sophie was back then. I don’t want to end our relationship.”
He was incredible! Did he really think I was going to stand there and let him to compare me to this girl from his past he couldn’t seem to forget? He seemed to be carrying the same weak gene that most men seemed to have, that of wanting to have their cake and eat it too. He hadn’t been able to forget this moment from his past, even when we’d been together, and I was certain that if the opportunity arose, he wouldn’t hesitate to leave me. So why would I want to stay with him?
“Words, words, words! Stop it, Orlando. As soon as you find out if she is still single, you’ll dump me to go back to her. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the sparkle in you eyes when you talk about her! This isn’t the first time I’ve felt there’s something wrong between us. I was just hoping my mind was playing tricks on me.”
“Fuck… what should I do? Please, Kate… you’re right… I’ve hurt you so badly, and forcing you to stay wouldn’t make things better, and I would always feel so guilty. But I don’t want to lose you… you’re too precious to me for that.”
I snorted. Would I want to have anything more to do with him? Watching as he sank down onto his bed sobbing, made me wonder if I was too harsh on him. I left him alone. I needed some time to clear my head and sort out my feelings. I didn’t feel I could be in the same room with him right now, and headed back to the living room to sit on the sofa.
The first thing I did was turn the awful music off. What shit was he listening to anyway? Picking up the CD case, I saw it was a band called Depeche Mode. I’d never heard of them. Maybe they were a band that this woman liked. I tuned in the radio to a music channel I liked instead.
I went to the couch and sat down. The first ten to fifteen minutes I just leaned back, eyes closed, and went through everything Orlando had told me. There had been several times since I’d met him that I’d felt his mind, and maybe his heart, were focusing on something, or someone, rather than me. Mostly it had been small things, but adding them all together gave me the feeling that something wasn’t quite as it should be. It must have been something to do with this woman, and all the time I was thinking I had imagined it. Maybe I should start to listen to my inner feelings a bit more.
More than once I had wondered if our relationship was right. I had worried about our age difference being too great. I knew we had different experiences, but we also had several interests in common. I had asked myself before now if that was enough. An added problem was the fact that our work tended to keep us apart a great deal of the time.
Watching him tell me about her, and seeing his eyes shine with the memories of her made me realize that I hadn’t seen the same glow when he was with me.
What did I want to do? The best thing would probably be to walk away. Then I had seen the guilt and pleading in his eyes when he told me he knew he had hurt me, and that I was still precious to him. Could I find it in my heart to even stay a friend to him?
My heart was breaking because I still loved him. I couldn’t believe that I was going to lose him. If our relationship was going to end, I had always thought it would have been caused by pressure of work, journalists, or the total rubbish that always spread through the tabloids. All that had already taken a toll on us. Some had been good, but always being labelled as ‘Orlando Bloom’s girlfriend’ instead of who I was in my own right was something I didn’t want in the long run.
I felt I needed more time to decide what my ultimate decision would be. I wasn’t sure yet if I wanted to cut every bond with him.
Looking down at the table, I saw the pile of photos he had shown me. I hadn’t paid much attention to them at the time, but now I wanted to see what she might have that I didn’t.
Most of them showed a girl with short brown hair. She looked to be about the same height as me. Comparing to a few other girls Orlando has dated in the past, and to me, she was fat. Not at all like his usual ‘type’. In the colour photo she looked pale. She didn’t seem to smile a lot either.
I couldn’t see anything special about her. She looked very average, but I had to admit that Orlando had taken some very good shots of her. I wondered what she looked like now. What had he said… that she lost some of her weight and let her hair grow… maybe she was looking good now.
Suddenly Orlando spoke from behind me, making me jump. I hadn’t heard him come in. I turned round to face him, surprised at how close he was standing.
Remembering the last thing he had said in the bedroom, I answered him, “I would love to, and no matter how hurt I am right now, I want to try and stay friends with you. I think I’m glad you told me.” It was the truth, and I thought that I would manage to survive, at least I wanted to believe I could.
He quickly closed the space remaining between us and hugged me close. He seemed to desperately need the physical touch, so I didn’t push him away, even though I wasn’t as comfortable in his embrace as I used to be. My feelings were so ambiguous. Being close to him seemed to weaken my resolve to be strong about this. I couldn’t cut off my feeling towards him in an instant, and would probably never stop loving him.
After a while he released me from his hold and I went to pick up my jacket. He turned of the stereo, picked up his jacket, and locked the door behind us when we left.
He started walking down the street, and seeing my questioning look he said, “We need to catch a cab in the next street, I thought it would be quicker than calling for one.”
Orlando was right, we didn’t have to wait too long before he managed to hail one. We sat on opposite ends of the seat and he didn’t speak. It felt awkward. His usual high spirits seemed to have fled, I was seeing a new side to him. Maybe it was his way of allowing me to make the first step, if I wanted to.
I tentatively stretched out my hand to take his. Finding it, I squeezed to let him know I was okay. He squeezed mine back, but didn’t look at me.
As we got out and he paid the fare, he asked me if it was okay if when we got inside we pretended that everything was okay between us.
“Of course, darling.”
I hugged him, and for the sake of the onlookers I kissed him near the mouth. He answered me, but the warmth was missing.
Although we were late arriving, there were still a lot of people waiting to get into the club. We walked passed, and after Orlando had spoken to the doorman, he checked to find our name on the special guest list, then let us in. The crowd was thick in there and the show had already begun.
We stood in the back, which I was happy for and I hoped it would take a while before anyone realised who he was. Looking around the audience, I noticed it was mostly made up of women, so it probably wouldn’t take too long before they came swarming round him. I should be happy with the anonymity for as long as it lasted.
He had told me we were meeting up with Dominic and his friends there, but it wouldn’t be easy to spot them in the crowd. Orlando didn’t look like he was too eager to push his way through everyone to find them, probably because he realised that would get him recognised all the sooner.
For a moment I considered making my way to the bar, but something held me back. I had noticed not long after we arrived that Orlando was staring at a woman. I wondered why she had caught his eye. She was wearing dark trousers, a green top, and her hair was loose down to middle of her back. I think I noticed some plaits in it.
He seemed totally taken with her, and our agreement to act like a couple was lost on him. My eyes were draw to her too, if only to find out why he was so enchanting by her.
When she turned, part of her left arm was visible and I could see she was wearing a tattoo. Right on queue, Orlando began to walk towards to her. He stopped behind her and leaned over to speak in her ear. I thought he was hopeless, even after our earlier talk, he still couldn’t stop flirting. Had he forgotten how he had poured his heart out to me over his long lost love with the idea of getting me to end our relationship?
I wasn’t surprised when a moment later she turned and threw her arms around his neck, but the quick glimpse of her face startled me. There was something very familiar about her… I had seen her recently. Could this be the face from the photographs? The woman he had told me about?
Taking a few steps towards them, I considered breaking them apart.
Seeing her little clearer when he raised her chin told me I was right. It was the girl from the photos. It was his long lost love. He was right about one thing, she was no longer the overweight girl from his past. She was slim and looked damned hot! There was no chance of me keeping him now.
It was no fun watching them tightly entwined and kissing passionately. He had been all mine for the past two years, and now she was coming between us. I felt malicious pleasure when I saw Dominic stride over and push them apart. Sadly his fist didn’t make contact with Orlando. I felt that I wanted to punch him too.
The womans cowardice made my heart smile even more. ‘Yes run away!’
I could see Orlando getting angry as he slapped Dominic across the head and grab hold of him. I so wanted to hear what was being said between them. The next thing I knew, Orlando was walking off in the direction of the exit. Had he just forgotten me, or didn’t he care anything about me anymore?
“Orlando wait!”
He must have heard me because he stopped and waited for me to catch up with him. Just as I got to his side, a woman in a leather jacket passed us. She just glared in annoyance at him. What gave her the right? She seemed as pissed off as I was. But who was she?
I was hoping for an explanation of his behaviour from Orlando. If he wasn’t prepared to give it then I wasn’t prepared to stand around and wait. I didn’t want a boyfriend who gave less than his total attention. Better to call it quits before he hurt me even more. I wanted to have been told about the girl from the beginning.
As soon as he knew I could hear him, he confirmed that the woman was the girl from his past. He didn’t seem to understand Dominic’s behaviour, and he needed to find out what was going on. He continued by saying that as I had the key to his apartment, I could either stay at the club, or go home. Then he pushed me right over the edge.
He was gone before I could get over his callous statement. How could he expect me to go back to his place, knowing that he was following the girl he wanted to dump me for? I was so stunned that I could only watch him disappear. I just wanted to cry, but not in public.
I stood there taking deep breaths. I slowly calmed down enough to leave the club. I was lucky enough to hail a taxi right away. Sitting in the car I decided to go back to Orlando’s, but I asked the driver to wait while I collected my suitcase. There was no way I could stay there now.
I was glad that I hadn’t unpacked much, so it took no time at all to gather my belongings. Just as I was about to leave, I decided to leave him a note.
* The song Useless with Depeche Mode from their CD Ultra (1997)
Chapter 20
The one that waits on something good never wait too long!
I do hope you like it, fan or not fan of Kate.
/S