i deserve to drop off the face of this planet. there's no words, no explanation, no excuses on what i did. i know my apologies mean nothing but for what it's worth i'm sorry. i'm sorry jamie lynn. i'm sorry spider. i'm sorry chris. i'm sorry naj.

i never thought of spider being the jealous type. spider is mine. jamie lynn, go find your own bitch.

certain people asked me to update.

i took chris' advice, to be by myself for awhile. straightening shit out and getting my priorities together. i need to do this for myself if i don't then how could i be with someone else and make them happy.

the other night i talked to ashley, vanessa, emmy, and jamie but the one person i wanted to speak with ( Read more... )

had the talk with nadja last night. we didn't say much. i told her how i felt which was distant. i felt distant and seperated from her. i wish i could be the one to make her happy but how could i when i can't make myself happy ( Read more... )

i've been staying at jay's(our ex-guitarist) house since i got back from naj's. i was afraid to come home because heather might be lurking somewhere in the bushes near my house. it was getting uncomfortable staying at naj's because of what's been happening. i'm running. i know i shouldn't. i'm going back to my own home tonight and calling naj to ( Read more... )

damn woman, what's going through your fucking head. you're really scaring me.

heather, my ex girl/fiance wants us to be together again. she was high school girlfriend. my first true love. we've been through alot. we spent every moment together. it was heaven. after high school i went to the navy. it was painful not to be with heather all those months. one year, of not being with her. one year of only seeing her a total of ( Read more... )

what the fuck??!!

i still have doubts.

i'm staying at nadja's place until the rest of the guys come here this weekend to shoot the video. we're sort of back together..i think. well whatever it is i'm loving every minute of it ( Read more... )