Julie prompted this

[robinyukiko]

I think one of my biggest mistakes was that I wanted so much control over my life--over myself--that I made up rules so that when I followed them I could feel proud of myself. It was like a religion. Moral standards. I will not drink. I will not have sex. I will not kiss friends. It wasn't to be better than everyone else, it was to be the best Me I

Comments

[noxdxinxlove]

I can definetely relate to making up rules for yourself that are unrealistic or irrational or come out of thin air... my best friend told me that once, "why are you always making up weird rules for yourself?"

As an example, two months ago, I said "I'm not eating meat!" and I still have no reason behind it that I believe strongly in, but I will not eat meat. I think it's a control thing. I think it's a way to control your life in some way if you feel like you can't always do that. But you're often ultimately creating more unnecessary stress for yourself. I like how you mention being too close to see your own needs. That's a good insight.

[reticentdream]

::hugs