I should be sleeping but instead I am documenting my current strange feelings ( Read more... )

It strikes me as odd that I have a normal life. I guess I do but I don't. I do live in Japan, but hey, so does everyone here. And true, my music career is teetering uncertainly as I finish my hiatus. And yes, I know I have to leave here and I don't know when or where I'll go. And granted, I have a small cold. But for now, the wheel is lifting me up ( Read more... )

So lately I've been incredibly depressed. Been hating the job, wishing I had more time, thinking I'm wasting my life and my talents here ( Read more... )

1) You are walking in the woods. You are not alone. With who ( Read more... )

I just got a rush of excitement at the thought that I have something great to give to the world, and that I am awesome.

(And once this cold is gone, nothing can stop me!)

Ok. I'm going shopping!

P.S. I'm becoming Oscar Wilde.

On 7/24/06, I said this:

I think one of my biggest mistakes was that I wanted so much control over my life--over myself--that I made up rules so that when I followed them I could feel proud of myself.

A new layer to that is this:

I made rules for myself to help me make decisions. Especially morally ambiguous decisions that I couldn't resolve in a ( Read more... )

I woke up in the early afternoon, felt lazy and fell back asleep
I got up at 5pm.

I'd feel lazy and depressed except that I paid bills and went food shopping. I felt like a zombie all day night. Maybe the fact that I haven't seen daylight in a day and a half ( Read more... )

I just realized something about myself:

I'm easily influenced; I'm not easily manipulated.

That clears up a lot for me.

I think one of my biggest mistakes was that I wanted so much control over my life--over myself--that I made up rules so that when I followed them I could feel proud of myself. It was like a religion. Moral standards. I will not drink. I will not have sex. I will not kiss friends. It wasn't to be better than everyone else, it was to be the best Me I ( Read more... )

I don't do karaoke ( Read more... )