I still feel deep lain inside, but the breathtakingness of it has faded, which is a plus ( Read more... )

Still heavy bleeding, cramps still hurt all the way thru my back...

Tried to get up and do some room cleaning, but got dizzy.

Put away a bunch of things that remind me of Tim in a box where I can see them, but it just makes me lonely to look around and see only my things.

At least my breasts are still round and awesome..

I hurt. I bleed a LOT.
Tim is gone and won't make up his mind.
He's told me he will always love me and he loves me best.
He's told me not to get my hopes up.
He's told me to stay with him forever.
It's ripping my heart in half over and over.
Thru a these cramps and heavy bleeding and headaches and nausea, I just wish he was HERE...

Laying in bed.
Heavy bleeding and stomach cramps.
Hungry.
Tim is gone and won't make up his mind and he's going to lose me.
I feel alone and abandoned.
I feel hopeless.

I hurt...

When im next to tim, and he holds me and talks to me and kisses me, i feel warmth and love.

But when hes not right next to me, instill feel like he doesbt actually love Me, he just loves 'girlfriend'.

I keep noticing him dislike or attempt to correct core pieces of my person.
    He scolds me for being affectionate, or generous, or friendly, or ( Read more... )

I keep tryong to find a ring to customize for tim, but all the black stainless steel thats cuatomkzable loojs cheap... Grrr....
    Ita sk hard >_<;

I need tim to trust me at some point.
   I understand worry, concern, upset, etc, but i cannot spend my entire life with someone who constantly thinks ill leave without any warning. Every year weve been together, ive done all i can to be loyal and earn trust, and iy dkesnt seem like its helped.
  What if?
   What if, ten years from now, hes STILL ( Read more... )

Ive bren trying for months to think of something wonderful and loving for tim fkr christmas, but its so difficult;
   There doesnt seem like alot kf things he LIKES; i dont know what size of ring, kr type of clothes, or animr stuff to get him.
   Romantic things are sweet lovibg romantic gifts that most friends wouldnt give; but if i got him a custom ( Read more... )

Tim still is a bit nuts about my shirts, i dont think it can be helped.

In other mews, this weekend was lovely~

Cleanes alot, moved alot kf things in garage, and spent some quality time with both family and tim.
   We had an especially loving and tender time saturday evening, with much affection~.
   Id asked him to say something romantic, though, and ( Read more... )

Angry at tim. He doesnt make sense, and hes amgry at ME for 'dressing to sexy' (wtf?).
Does he think ill get raped?
Does he think ill get molested?
   People dont get raped BECAUSE they wear a red shirt.
   They get raped when rapists CHOOSE to rape or molest.
   There is no excuse for molestation, rape, unwanted advances or remarks.
    Noone attracts ( Read more... )