I'm feeling very tired today. Woke up at 7 am from nightmares about my parents screaming at me about college application essays that were late (wtf?). I was supposed to see some "friends" last night, but they didn't call until late, so I didn't. One of them got mad at me over the whole thing, I think, b/c she proceeded to phone me 35 times last ( Read more... )

I admit, Amy Winehouse has been on my mind a lot today. When I heard she had died, I played "Amy Amy Amy" first. I taught Nicole that song back in early 2008, right after my mum bought me the album "Frank" for Christmas. I had spent summer 2007 playing the song "Rehab" on the second album, "Back to Black," until the CD started skipping. "Rehab" was ( Read more... )

I'm angry tonight. No, let's be perfectly clear- I'm FUCKING PISSED! I'm pisssed, first of all, at the person who put those ugly bruises on my arms. And the bitch who always sticks up for and covers for him. I'm pissed at the girl who broke my heart two months ago, as well as the girl who broke my heart 15 years ago. I'm pissed at my brother, who ( Read more... )

Pretty dull day, but I'm not complaining. I drew The Tower for my daily tarot card, but so far no real disaster has befallen me. It's 94 degrees out, and tomomorrow is supposed to be hotter, but I don't mind. I just stay holed up here in the air conditioning. Hopefully, I don't run out of paper or cigarettes. I am looking forward to sunset tonight ( Read more... )

Still awake. I think I have insomnia, lol. I woke up on Sunday afternoon, and here it is, Tuesday morning......I feel weird. Definitely not attempting commentary on my life......shout out to Claus von Stauffenberg and the rest of the German Resistance of WWII, as tomorrow is the 67th anniversary of the attempted Operation Valkyrie coup. Shout out ( Read more... )

Good morning Ohio! Doing my laundry tonight. I basically slept all day, and daytime is pretty miserable anyway, between the heat and my asshole neighbors. No one harasses me at 3 am. And, I'm pretty much avoiding my family from here on out. They can be all self righteous, but I know the truth. I'll call here and there to prove I'm alive, and that's ( Read more... )

Had a prettty bad weekend, but managed to sleep though most of it, thanks to Ativan. I had an endoscopy on Friday, and things went downhill from there. My parents are used to this shit, but I think my perfect brother hates me now. Fuck him, he's never had an actual problem in his entire life. He's never really liked me anyway, and always looked ( Read more... )

The endoscopy yesterday was a nightmare. I am still sick and disoriented, but it's nothing compared to how bad yesterday was. I don't think I'm really well  enough to be here at home alone, but my mum and brother were completely fed up with me, so here I am. I'm sitting at the computer desk eating pizzele, which may or may not come right back up. I ( Read more... )

I'll be the first to admit when I've done something stupid. Guess what? I did something stupid.....possibly beyond stupid. I sent an E-Card to Carrie. All it said was "Forgive" on the front, and a short message giving my regards to the crabs on the inside. I did it b/c I wanted to absolve myself, in some weird way. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry, ( Read more... )

Let's see, what's the latest news in my life? Well, someone hacked into my email yet again, so I'm pissed off. I just deleted my address book (it's now on a piece of paper in a drawer, not saved on the computer) and abandoned yet another email address. I am so sick of it. How do these assholes get  my passwords? It gets old.  Anyway, that's pretty ( Read more... )