Amy Winehouse
I admit, Amy Winehouse has been on my mind a lot today. When I heard she had died, I played "Amy Amy Amy" first. I taught Nicole that song back in early 2008, right after my mum bought me the album "Frank" for Christmas. I had spent summer 2007 playing the song "Rehab" on the second album, "Back to Black," until the CD started skipping. "Rehab" was my song that summer. I felt like I was locked up in some program, since I was living with my strict parents after leaving my husband in June of that year. "Rehab" was sort of a liberation anthem for me. After I moved out of their house, and met Nic, I remember walking the streets of Hamilton with her at night, singing. "Amy Amy Amy" was sort of our signature song. Then when Marty and I broke up in May 2008, and he ran right back to Kitty, my favorite song was "Back to Black." "He left no time to regret/ kept his dick wet/ with his same old safe bet..." Now that Carrie and I have split, the one that touches me is "Wake Up Alone." "I stay up, clean the house, at least I'm not drinking. Run around just so I don't have to think about thinking....." There are these, and other times, when she has been the soundtrack to my life. I understand her struggles in life, because in many ways, I share her demons. Self-medication of mental illness is a real Pandora's Box. I opened it too. Who wouldn't rather get high than take things like Seroquel and Depakote, which make you fat, diabetic, and, often, miserable? I've read the comments people have made about Amy Winehouse today, and it just shows there are a lot of judgemental assholes out there, with no idea what they're talking about. I just hope she finds the peace that eluded her in life. RIP Amy Winehouse, 1983-2011