[Fic] Before You Go - Chapter 22
Title: Before You Go
Pairing(s): Jaemin, Yoosu
Length: Chaptered 22/?
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: (gang) violence, language, abduction
Genre: AU, drama, angst
Summary: Jaejoong and his cousin have been swept up into the world of violence and gangs. The struggle and fight for his sanity is complicated greatly by the addition of a certain Shim Changmin into the mix. Will he be able to protect those he loves as well as save himself?
A/N: : / .....
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 - part 1 - part 2 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20
| Chapter 21
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Jaejoong quickly walked into the room that lay open before him. It was brightly lit, almost blindingly so, and he blinked back partial blindness at the same time his eyes swept the space quickly. He didn’t even have enough time to register that it was a bedroom before he heard a sudden cry that made his heart leap into his throat and snapped his body around.
“Hyung!”
His arms were full of Changmin the next moment, and he could feel the erratic pounding of the other’s heart against their joined chests, could feel the soft smooth skin of his cheek press against his own face, a sweet imitation of a kiss. His arms automatically twined around the other, pulling the lanky frame closer, trying and failing to hold back an uncontrollable smile that seemed to erupt out of nowhere. He hid it in Changmin’s shoulder.
They swayed in each other’s arms, and Jaejoong thought he never wanted to let go. Changmin was too warm, too sweet, too perfect.
There was a smile and a breath of wonder in Changmin’s voice beside his ear. “You’re real!” Changmin’s cheek squished against his a little more firmly. “How did you find me?”
Jaejoong still couldn’t force his smile down, and remained with his face pressed to the other’s shoulder.
Changmin squirmed slightly, obviously trying to step back so he could look into Jaejoong’s face. If anything the smile he was fighting grew bigger as he felt Changmin attempt to pull away. He tightened his arms slightly, giving the boy a squeeze. It elicited the funniest giggle he’d ever heard, and he suddenly gripped Changmin’s shoulders, pushing him away far enough so he could look up into that laughing face.
Changmin’s eyes were mismatched half-moons, and he squirmed again, trying to hide his neck with one shoulder as Jaejoong lifted a hand to poke into it lightly.
“Hyung…” his voice was almost a whine as he tried to avoid the tickling feeling, and Jaejoong obligingly moved his hand to trace lovingly down his cheek instead.
“I wanted to hear your laugh.” Jaejoong tried to hide the admission under a light teasing tone, as he was almost a little uncomfortable himself with how strong and honest the desire actually was. He wanted this sweet smiling face to replace all the memories of tears and pain they’d seen and shared in that dark room together.
Changmin just smiled and Jaejoong couldn’t look away. He didn’t realize his own smile was fading until Changmin’s face responded similarly. They were staring into each other’s eyes, and he was suddenly all too aware of how Changmin’s hands were still holding onto his waist, how close his body was, and how inviting those lips were.
The long moment stretched between them, and Jaejoong felt his mouth go dry. Changmin swallowed nervously, and his eyes unmistakably darted down to Jaejoong’s lips, cheeks dusting pink as Jaejoong chose that same moment to wet them with his tongue. Unable to bite back another smile Jaejoong almost laughed at that endearing shy face. But no, he’d rather just…lean forward just a little more…closing the gap between them…and someone cleared their throat pointedly behind him.
Jaejoong’s body snapped back to attention, quickly looking over his shoulder while tightening his grip on Changmin.
Changmin’s mother was standing awkwardly beside a bed, and Jaejoong realized she must have been standing there since he walked into the room, Changmin having leapt off the bed to reach him.
His hands slowly, ever so reluctantly, released Changmin and dropped to his sides. He felt lost, remembering all too clearly her accusing angry words at the hospital. She was looking at him with an expression he couldn’t interpret. But when the look in her eyes melted away and her lips curved up in a small smile, Jaejoong could only think that she looked so like his Changmin.
He didn’t know what was going on when she was suddenly moving towards him, and arms were enveloping him in the most gentle of embraces. Jaejoong stood frozen and stiff in her arms, whispers of an all accepting unconditional hug he could no longer remember receiving from his own mother so many years ago flitting through him.
Her voice was low, barely holding back her emotions as she spoke. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me…Jaejoong-ah. Thank you for protecting my son and bringing him back to me.”
Jaejoong still couldn’t move. Slightly stunned at the words he never would have imagined hearing, not to mention the embrace. But she was already letting him go, turning away from his wide searching eyes. A muffled sniff betrayed her loss to tears, and Changmin was reaching out to her from next to Jaejoong.
He looked at Jaejoong from over her shoulder as his mother clutched him as if her life depended on it. Changmin’s face was serious, but the light in his eyes was bright. “I told Mom everything.”
Everything? Jaejoong wanted to know if that included…everything. Although she hadn’t exactly objected to their hugging only moments before, she had been so upset to walk in on them the first time. Jaejoong hoped it was only the shock of seeing her son hurt yet alive that had made her overreact.
However, he had a sinking feeling that whispered doubt into his mind. He knew Changmin wouldn’t fight, wouldn’t leave his family behind if they objected, not with the way he let his mother cradle him in her arms.
He hadn’t even realized he’d been more than hoping… he had been sure that Changmin would choose him. He had already considered that he wouldn’t have to give him up if the other would come to him first.
But he’d just been fooling himself. He’d let himself get carried away and forgot the reason he’d come to see him was to just make sure that Changmin was safe. To get just enough contact to motivate himself to keep protecting him, as that meant following orders and becoming an emotionless pawn. It seemed that Changmin was farther from his reach than ever before. The thought made him feel so sad.
Feeling his eyes sting, he dropped his gaze from Changmin’s, trying to shield his face with his hair. He had already known he would leave the room alone today. But the realization that it wouldn’t just be this time was like a barb through his chest. It hurt.
And the piercing feeling only increased, wedging in deeper, as he reluctantly turned his back on mother and son. Almost instantly, he heard Changmin calling out to him, and he paused, waiting until a hand grabbed onto his sleeve. Changmin tugged at it, begging him to turn around.
“Hyung, where are you going? What’s wrong…?” Changmin sounded fragile, voice hardly above a whisper, but his hands on Jaejoong’s shirt were an iron grip. Jaejoong didn’t have the heart to try and pull away. He kept his eyes on the floor.
“I’m sorry. I have to go.” Jaejoong was thankful his voice sounded steady, it didn’t betray his aching chest or his pounding heart. But Changmin didn’t seem to be fooled. Long arms were slipping around him from behind, tugging him gently against the other’s chest.
Lips were beside his ear; Changmin’s breath was a hot puff. “Don’t go.”
Jaejoong closed his eyes, his own hands lifting to rest on top of the arms hugging his stomach. He curled his fingers around Changmin’s arms, not wanted to let him go if the other should pull away first.
He just needed a moment. He just needed a moment to memorize the feel of Changmin’s sweet warmth. Memorize the feel of the hesitant kiss pressed shyly against his neck. His hands tightened their hold. How could he walk away from this?
“Changmin, sweetie.” Changmin’s mother spoke quietly behind them, and Jaejoong felt the moment break. “Let… let go of him, please. He should be going.”
Jaejoong didn’t need to see her face to hear the tense rigidity to her words. He cracked his eyes open slowly, seeing the door swing open before him as a guard indicated that his time was up and they were ready to escort him out.
Changmin’s arms held him tighter, refusing to let him walk away. He wasn’t confident himself that he’d be able to make himself move either. It was only a matter of time before someone else decided to do it for them, and he didn’t think either of them could handle being unwillingly forced apart again.
Gently taking Changmin’s hand in his own to let the other know he wasn’t pushing him away, Jaejoong reluctantly pulled out of the warm hug. Turning to face Changmin who was looking down at the floor, he gave the hand a squeeze, able to see Changmin’s mother a few steps away watching with a tight-faced expression. He felt confused as to if this disapproving stare or if the accepting hug just before was her true attitude.
She caught his eye, and the concerned glint in them tilted him toward the former. His breath caught as Changmin’s hand was suddenly guiding his face back around to look at him, pressing gently on his jaw just below one ear.
Those eyes were so large and filled with fragile insecurity. Changmin was still so weak and hurting, Jaejoong could only imagine how hard it had been on him the past week, and it killed him that he hadn’t been by his side where he should have been.
“I’m sorry.” He knew words alone wouldn’t make up for it, but Changmin was shaking his head.
“Just don’t leave me.” The low tone to his voice barely hid the desperation Jaejoong could clearly see in his eyes.
“I’ll come back tomorrow.” He promised, determined to come every day whether Shim wanted it or not. Yet even then, it wouldn’t be enough. “Can you be strong until then?”
He gave the other a small encouraging smile while Changmin almost immediately started shaking his head with an almost childish retaliation of, “No, you can’t go.”
But before he could coax or reassure the boy any further, Changmin’s mother seemed to decide that they’d had more than enough time to say goodbye, and walked over to place a hand on Changmin’s arm. Her face was stern as she looked at her son.
“That’s enough, Changmin. You need to take a rest. I’ll show your friend out.”
Changmin looked like he wanted to object, but Jaejoong gave his hand one last gentle press with his fingers. He didn’t want to upset him or make him panic if it came down to a struggle, and there was nothing else he could do for him.
He felt so unsatisfied, and so sorry, and wanted nothing more than to wipe the trouble off that face and hold Changmin in his arms all night long, as much for his own sake as for the other’s.
But he didn’t resist as Changmin’s mother hooked her hand in his elbow and gently, but firmly steered him towards the door. Changmin took a few steps with him, waiting until the last moment before their fingers finally slipped from each other.
Looking over his shoulder as he was pushed through the door, Jaejoong’s heart nearly broke as his last glimpse was of tears pooling in wild eyes, and an utterly broken look on Changmin’s face, before the door shut him off from view.
He was already turning to walk back, unable to leave the other in that state, but the hand on his arm suddenly tightened, nearly dragging him as he stumbled over his own feet. He blinked in shock as he found his back pressed up against one wall, a very darkly angry woman looking him straight in the face.
“Now you listen here, Jaejoong.” Her voice wavered as she poked a finger into his chest. “As his mother I am eternally grateful for what you’ve done. But, please let him go now. He’s young and confused, and just needs to heal. He must live a normal life, marry, and proudly carry on the family name. If you cared about him you wouldn’t ruin that future for him. I give you my thanks, but I need you to stop seducing him.”
Jaejoong was speechless as she finished her speech in a hiss of a whisper. His heart was sinking, the warm elation from seeing Changmin seeping out of him as her words seemed to poison it. Sucking in air as he realized he’d been holding his breath, he watched with growing despair as the woman turned to beckon forward one of the guards.
“Show him out.” She turned away after giving Jaejoong one more sharp look, and Jaejoong sagged against the man who came to his side.
Everyone, everything was against them.
His eyes turned to look at the dark door that grew smaller with every step he took in the other direction, and it felt like it was such a distance, so far away, he would never be able to reach it.
He didn’t know if the blur to his vision was from exhaustion or tears, but he let his eyes slip closed against it. Whatever he’d planned to do here today had fallen apart, and it was nothing short of breaking him.
*********
Chapter 23
A/N: ...... eww this ends on a down note..... ok, i think its time for our changminnie to fight back :) coming soon! <3
Pairing(s): Jaemin, Yoosu
Length: Chaptered 22/?
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: (gang) violence, language, abduction
Genre: AU, drama, angst
Summary: Jaejoong and his cousin have been swept up into the world of violence and gangs. The struggle and fight for his sanity is complicated greatly by the addition of a certain Shim Changmin into the mix. Will he be able to protect those he loves as well as save himself?
A/N: : / .....
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 - part 1 - part 2 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20
| Chapter 21
********
Jaejoong quickly walked into the room that lay open before him. It was brightly lit, almost blindingly so, and he blinked back partial blindness at the same time his eyes swept the space quickly. He didn’t even have enough time to register that it was a bedroom before he heard a sudden cry that made his heart leap into his throat and snapped his body around.
“Hyung!”
His arms were full of Changmin the next moment, and he could feel the erratic pounding of the other’s heart against their joined chests, could feel the soft smooth skin of his cheek press against his own face, a sweet imitation of a kiss. His arms automatically twined around the other, pulling the lanky frame closer, trying and failing to hold back an uncontrollable smile that seemed to erupt out of nowhere. He hid it in Changmin’s shoulder.
They swayed in each other’s arms, and Jaejoong thought he never wanted to let go. Changmin was too warm, too sweet, too perfect.
There was a smile and a breath of wonder in Changmin’s voice beside his ear. “You’re real!” Changmin’s cheek squished against his a little more firmly. “How did you find me?”
Jaejoong still couldn’t force his smile down, and remained with his face pressed to the other’s shoulder.
Changmin squirmed slightly, obviously trying to step back so he could look into Jaejoong’s face. If anything the smile he was fighting grew bigger as he felt Changmin attempt to pull away. He tightened his arms slightly, giving the boy a squeeze. It elicited the funniest giggle he’d ever heard, and he suddenly gripped Changmin’s shoulders, pushing him away far enough so he could look up into that laughing face.
Changmin’s eyes were mismatched half-moons, and he squirmed again, trying to hide his neck with one shoulder as Jaejoong lifted a hand to poke into it lightly.
“Hyung…” his voice was almost a whine as he tried to avoid the tickling feeling, and Jaejoong obligingly moved his hand to trace lovingly down his cheek instead.
“I wanted to hear your laugh.” Jaejoong tried to hide the admission under a light teasing tone, as he was almost a little uncomfortable himself with how strong and honest the desire actually was. He wanted this sweet smiling face to replace all the memories of tears and pain they’d seen and shared in that dark room together.
Changmin just smiled and Jaejoong couldn’t look away. He didn’t realize his own smile was fading until Changmin’s face responded similarly. They were staring into each other’s eyes, and he was suddenly all too aware of how Changmin’s hands were still holding onto his waist, how close his body was, and how inviting those lips were.
The long moment stretched between them, and Jaejoong felt his mouth go dry. Changmin swallowed nervously, and his eyes unmistakably darted down to Jaejoong’s lips, cheeks dusting pink as Jaejoong chose that same moment to wet them with his tongue. Unable to bite back another smile Jaejoong almost laughed at that endearing shy face. But no, he’d rather just…lean forward just a little more…closing the gap between them…and someone cleared their throat pointedly behind him.
Jaejoong’s body snapped back to attention, quickly looking over his shoulder while tightening his grip on Changmin.
Changmin’s mother was standing awkwardly beside a bed, and Jaejoong realized she must have been standing there since he walked into the room, Changmin having leapt off the bed to reach him.
His hands slowly, ever so reluctantly, released Changmin and dropped to his sides. He felt lost, remembering all too clearly her accusing angry words at the hospital. She was looking at him with an expression he couldn’t interpret. But when the look in her eyes melted away and her lips curved up in a small smile, Jaejoong could only think that she looked so like his Changmin.
He didn’t know what was going on when she was suddenly moving towards him, and arms were enveloping him in the most gentle of embraces. Jaejoong stood frozen and stiff in her arms, whispers of an all accepting unconditional hug he could no longer remember receiving from his own mother so many years ago flitting through him.
Her voice was low, barely holding back her emotions as she spoke. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me…Jaejoong-ah. Thank you for protecting my son and bringing him back to me.”
Jaejoong still couldn’t move. Slightly stunned at the words he never would have imagined hearing, not to mention the embrace. But she was already letting him go, turning away from his wide searching eyes. A muffled sniff betrayed her loss to tears, and Changmin was reaching out to her from next to Jaejoong.
He looked at Jaejoong from over her shoulder as his mother clutched him as if her life depended on it. Changmin’s face was serious, but the light in his eyes was bright. “I told Mom everything.”
Everything? Jaejoong wanted to know if that included…everything. Although she hadn’t exactly objected to their hugging only moments before, she had been so upset to walk in on them the first time. Jaejoong hoped it was only the shock of seeing her son hurt yet alive that had made her overreact.
However, he had a sinking feeling that whispered doubt into his mind. He knew Changmin wouldn’t fight, wouldn’t leave his family behind if they objected, not with the way he let his mother cradle him in her arms.
He hadn’t even realized he’d been more than hoping… he had been sure that Changmin would choose him. He had already considered that he wouldn’t have to give him up if the other would come to him first.
But he’d just been fooling himself. He’d let himself get carried away and forgot the reason he’d come to see him was to just make sure that Changmin was safe. To get just enough contact to motivate himself to keep protecting him, as that meant following orders and becoming an emotionless pawn. It seemed that Changmin was farther from his reach than ever before. The thought made him feel so sad.
Feeling his eyes sting, he dropped his gaze from Changmin’s, trying to shield his face with his hair. He had already known he would leave the room alone today. But the realization that it wouldn’t just be this time was like a barb through his chest. It hurt.
And the piercing feeling only increased, wedging in deeper, as he reluctantly turned his back on mother and son. Almost instantly, he heard Changmin calling out to him, and he paused, waiting until a hand grabbed onto his sleeve. Changmin tugged at it, begging him to turn around.
“Hyung, where are you going? What’s wrong…?” Changmin sounded fragile, voice hardly above a whisper, but his hands on Jaejoong’s shirt were an iron grip. Jaejoong didn’t have the heart to try and pull away. He kept his eyes on the floor.
“I’m sorry. I have to go.” Jaejoong was thankful his voice sounded steady, it didn’t betray his aching chest or his pounding heart. But Changmin didn’t seem to be fooled. Long arms were slipping around him from behind, tugging him gently against the other’s chest.
Lips were beside his ear; Changmin’s breath was a hot puff. “Don’t go.”
Jaejoong closed his eyes, his own hands lifting to rest on top of the arms hugging his stomach. He curled his fingers around Changmin’s arms, not wanted to let him go if the other should pull away first.
He just needed a moment. He just needed a moment to memorize the feel of Changmin’s sweet warmth. Memorize the feel of the hesitant kiss pressed shyly against his neck. His hands tightened their hold. How could he walk away from this?
“Changmin, sweetie.” Changmin’s mother spoke quietly behind them, and Jaejoong felt the moment break. “Let… let go of him, please. He should be going.”
Jaejoong didn’t need to see her face to hear the tense rigidity to her words. He cracked his eyes open slowly, seeing the door swing open before him as a guard indicated that his time was up and they were ready to escort him out.
Changmin’s arms held him tighter, refusing to let him walk away. He wasn’t confident himself that he’d be able to make himself move either. It was only a matter of time before someone else decided to do it for them, and he didn’t think either of them could handle being unwillingly forced apart again.
Gently taking Changmin’s hand in his own to let the other know he wasn’t pushing him away, Jaejoong reluctantly pulled out of the warm hug. Turning to face Changmin who was looking down at the floor, he gave the hand a squeeze, able to see Changmin’s mother a few steps away watching with a tight-faced expression. He felt confused as to if this disapproving stare or if the accepting hug just before was her true attitude.
She caught his eye, and the concerned glint in them tilted him toward the former. His breath caught as Changmin’s hand was suddenly guiding his face back around to look at him, pressing gently on his jaw just below one ear.
Those eyes were so large and filled with fragile insecurity. Changmin was still so weak and hurting, Jaejoong could only imagine how hard it had been on him the past week, and it killed him that he hadn’t been by his side where he should have been.
“I’m sorry.” He knew words alone wouldn’t make up for it, but Changmin was shaking his head.
“Just don’t leave me.” The low tone to his voice barely hid the desperation Jaejoong could clearly see in his eyes.
“I’ll come back tomorrow.” He promised, determined to come every day whether Shim wanted it or not. Yet even then, it wouldn’t be enough. “Can you be strong until then?”
He gave the other a small encouraging smile while Changmin almost immediately started shaking his head with an almost childish retaliation of, “No, you can’t go.”
But before he could coax or reassure the boy any further, Changmin’s mother seemed to decide that they’d had more than enough time to say goodbye, and walked over to place a hand on Changmin’s arm. Her face was stern as she looked at her son.
“That’s enough, Changmin. You need to take a rest. I’ll show your friend out.”
Changmin looked like he wanted to object, but Jaejoong gave his hand one last gentle press with his fingers. He didn’t want to upset him or make him panic if it came down to a struggle, and there was nothing else he could do for him.
He felt so unsatisfied, and so sorry, and wanted nothing more than to wipe the trouble off that face and hold Changmin in his arms all night long, as much for his own sake as for the other’s.
But he didn’t resist as Changmin’s mother hooked her hand in his elbow and gently, but firmly steered him towards the door. Changmin took a few steps with him, waiting until the last moment before their fingers finally slipped from each other.
Looking over his shoulder as he was pushed through the door, Jaejoong’s heart nearly broke as his last glimpse was of tears pooling in wild eyes, and an utterly broken look on Changmin’s face, before the door shut him off from view.
He was already turning to walk back, unable to leave the other in that state, but the hand on his arm suddenly tightened, nearly dragging him as he stumbled over his own feet. He blinked in shock as he found his back pressed up against one wall, a very darkly angry woman looking him straight in the face.
“Now you listen here, Jaejoong.” Her voice wavered as she poked a finger into his chest. “As his mother I am eternally grateful for what you’ve done. But, please let him go now. He’s young and confused, and just needs to heal. He must live a normal life, marry, and proudly carry on the family name. If you cared about him you wouldn’t ruin that future for him. I give you my thanks, but I need you to stop seducing him.”
Jaejoong was speechless as she finished her speech in a hiss of a whisper. His heart was sinking, the warm elation from seeing Changmin seeping out of him as her words seemed to poison it. Sucking in air as he realized he’d been holding his breath, he watched with growing despair as the woman turned to beckon forward one of the guards.
“Show him out.” She turned away after giving Jaejoong one more sharp look, and Jaejoong sagged against the man who came to his side.
Everyone, everything was against them.
His eyes turned to look at the dark door that grew smaller with every step he took in the other direction, and it felt like it was such a distance, so far away, he would never be able to reach it.
He didn’t know if the blur to his vision was from exhaustion or tears, but he let his eyes slip closed against it. Whatever he’d planned to do here today had fallen apart, and it was nothing short of breaking him.
*********
Chapter 23
A/N: ...... eww this ends on a down note..... ok, i think its time for our changminnie to fight back :) coming soon! <3