Accurate portrait of sad state of mind: Dreaming this morning. In dream, talking to several first years, or random unimportant people, when I see Connor approaching. I run to him, shouting "Connor!" Fling myself at him to hug him, He sits down on the steps and I bury my head into his side and snuffle about how my life is in shambles while he hugs ( Read more... )

The first-years are interesting. The Freshmen more so. (The first years being a group, and the Freshmen being a pair of first years) So yesterday I was supposed to be hosting a party that ceased to exist. Connor's the first, I'm the second, and Connor was sick. So I was disgruntled. And the turnout was (s)low. I spent a while on the phone with him ( Read more... )

Connor says that he'd definetily drive 8 hours for guaranteed sex, and I don't think he was humoring me. But then again I've also been hanging out an awful lot with the first years. I get the feeling that the boy virgins would run over hot coals for guaranteed sex. I think I've just lost a vibe I need to replace. Just that I'm cool in general, no ( Read more... )

sudden, persistent urge to listen to sarah mclachlan. sarah mclachlan, the music of break ups and suicide. except that im not particularly sad, just have the urge to hear "building a mystery" over and over. and then i want to vid to it. an andrew vid. it'd be funny. yes, im going crazy. "building a mystery" and "london calling"(tha album. yes, ( Read more... )

Maybe I want to be Connor. I’m not sure. And sometimes I thought I was getting there, but then I always trip myself up. I’m really better at being second in command. Which is not the thing you’re supposed to say. I’m supposed to say “I’m a leader, not a follower!” and smile winningly. But really, everyone stares at you when you’re first, and you ( Read more... )

Yikes. All that I had to say, and now it's hard to remember again. Where am I supposed to start again? Arrrgh. My entries are ruined as soon as I start them. Babbling about not remembering where the beginning is doesn't scream "topic". But for now I'm going to start with Violet, because once I get that going I'm sure I can go for hours, and the ( Read more... )