A Little Curious
Title: A Little Curious
Author: dracoslovebunny
Pairing: HyunWoon
Status: Oneshot
Genre: Romance
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Slash (graphic)
Word count: 4,209
Summary: In which Hyunseung wishes to settle a little curiosity.
A/N: Written as part of my ongoing ALL-PAIRINGS 15-fic self-challenge. Each fic is a standalone (not part of the same storyline as the others). Fics are prompted by A Little Left of Logical. Title is the prompt.
Previous Installments:
Accident/KiWoon // Imitation of Life/JunWoon // Passing Flame/JunSeung // The Moment/KiSeob // Crave/DooKwang // Massage/DooWoon // Burn/KiSeung // Snack/DongSeob // Letters from Nowhere/2Jun // Lie to Me/JunKwang
Hyunseung slyly cut his eyes toward Dongwoon for what felt like the millionth time. He felt hot around his collar. There was a question burning the tip of his tongue, begging to be asked aloud. Hyunseung didn't know if he had the courage to ask it.
"Is something up?" Dongwoon asked, catching Hyunseung's gaze yet again.
Hyunseung looked away again. "Not really."
"Seriously?" Dongwoon peered at him. "You keep looking at me like that."
"Oh." Hyunseung shrugged and leaned back on his hands. "I'm just thinking about stuff."
With a raised eyebrow, Dongwoon asked, "What stuff?"
Hyunseung cleared his throat, then bit his lip for a quick moment. "Weird stuff."
"What else is new?" Dongwoon rolled his shoulders, trying to alleviate some of the tenseness from their frequent dance practices. "So what's on your mind?"
"Well..." Hyunseung sighed, shaking his head. "Forget it, it's just weird."
"No, come on," Dongwoon fixed a firm gaze on the older man. "Just tell me."
Hyunseung set his gaze on the floor of their living room. "Well, I was thinking about this friend I had when I was like fourteen or fifteen or something. I stayed over at his house sometimes, and this one time he asked me... well, he asked if I had ever tried anything with anyone. Like kissing. And I said no. And he asked if I wanted to, with him. And I said no. And then, I was thinking, just now, and actually a few times since then, if that was normal for him to ask. I was wondering if anyone had ever asked you that before."
Dongwoon frowned. "No, I never had a guy ask me to kiss him. But I knew a few close friends who told me they tried it when they were younger, to see what it was like. I guess there might have been more guys who tried it, but they wouldn't exactly go around advertizing that kind of thing."
"Oh." Hyunseung stretched out his legs, wiggling his toes and staring at them. "What did your friends say? Did they say it was gross?"
Dongwoon chuckled a bit. "Well, yeah, they all said it was at first. But later on one of them told me secretly that it wasn't bad. He even said he liked it. But he's not gay or anything. He just said it was a nice feeling."
Hyunseung looked at Dongwoon. "Do you think that's normal, then, to think it's not that bad when you kiss a guy?"
With a shrug, Dongwoon answered, "How would I know? I've never tried."
"Oh. Yeah." Hyunseung was back to looking at his toes. "Well, do you think you ever would?"
"What, think it's not bad to kiss a guy?"
"No, I mean, kissing a guy at all. Do you think you would ever try it?"
Dongwoon was silent for what felt to Hyunseung to be a long time. Then he replied, "Maybe. I don't know. Would you?"
"Maybe." Hyunseung wiggled his toes. "Have you ever really even thought about it?"
"Yeah. I mean, I guess. Not, like, in detail, or often, or something. I mean, I don't, like, fantasize about guys."
"Me neither." Hyunseung's voice was quiet.
After another stretch of silence, Dongwoon asked, "Hyung?"
"Mm?" Hyunseung responded, staring at his wiggling toes.
"Is there a reason you're asking me all this?"
Hyunseung felt hot around his collar again. "No."
Yet again, silence filled the room, until Dongwoon asked again, "Hyung?"
Hyunseung looked up at him. "Yeah?"
"Were you gonna ask me to kiss you?"
Blushing, Hyunseung shook his head quickly. "N-no!" he answered quickly. "I was just curious!"
"I mean, 'cause if you were, I thought, well, maybe. You know, since we're good friends, and I trust you not to tell."
"Oh." Hyunseung's toes were wiggling fiercely as he stared at them, unable to get the blush to leave his cheeks. "Well, I was thinking of... I don't know, possibly asking. Maybe. If you wanted to try it. Or whatever."
Dongwoon shifted closer to Hyunseung, their shoulders almost touching. "Yeah, I mean, what's the harm, right? It's just a kiss, right?"
"Yeah." Hyunseung had stopped wiggling his toes, but he was blushing harder than ever. "It's not like I'm gonna go run and tell someone or anything like that. But you already know that."
"So... you want to try this, then?"
Hyunseung couldn't even speak because of his intense embarrassment, so he settled for a small nod. Dongwoon took a deep breath, and when Hyunseung lifted his gaze to look at him, he saw Dongwoon was blushing as well. "I don't really... know how to do this."
Dongwoon worried his lip, then set his mouth and leaned in toward Hyunseung. Panicking at the last moment, Hyunsueng grinned and pulled away. "Sorry, sorry," he waved his hand. "NG. Do-over." He willed his grin away. "Okay. Ready."
"Are you sure?" Dongwoon asked, looking skeptical.
Hyunseung released a puff of air and nodded. "Yes."
Dongwoon studied him for a moment before leaning in again. This time Hyunseung didn't try to escape the kiss, closing his eyes just before feeling a pair of lips press to his own in a clumsy way. He was freaking out internally, but did his best not to show it, trying to keep himself relaxed. When Dongwoon adjusted his lips and pressed them harder against Hyunseung's, Hyunseung had to grab onto Dongwoon's arm to keep himself seated upright. Then the kiss didn't feel so clumsy to Hyunseung anymore. In fact, it felt nice. The lips on his own were warm and soft, and Hyunseung could feel at once that the kiss was more masculine than the brief kisses he'd had with his only ex-girlfriend and that it didn't matter than he was kissing a guy, because it felt good.
Dongwoon pulled Hyunseung's bottom lip between his own, lightly sucking at the flesh. His hand found Hyunseung's thigh, using it to adjust himself closer to the older man. When he pulled away from the kiss then, he gauged Hyunseung's reaction with half-lidded eyes. Hyunseung felt himself panting a little, his heart rate out of control. Part of him wanted Dongwoon to kiss him again, and another part wanted for this to have never happened, because all of a sudden he felt filled with shame. He wasn't really supposed to like this. It was only to satiate curiosity.
Hyunseung stood then, heading for the kitchen. "We should eat before the other guys come home."
Dongwoon didn't object to his sudden change of topic.
~~~~~~~~~~
Things were strange. Hyunseung and Dongwoon shared a lot fewer words from that time on, but a lot more glances. It wasn't such a drastic change that anyone else noticed, and for the most part they pretended not to notice as well. Hyunseung did his best not to reflect on the kiss. He knew that at the time it was happening he'd liked it, but beyond that he had no real desire to figure out how much he had liked it, or if it had been normal to like it the way he had.
Still, sometimes when his mind would wander off as it was wont to do, Hyunseung would suddenly realize that he'd been thinking about the kiss again. He could recall with vivid detail the feeling of warm lips pressed to his own. Sometimes he would catch himself imagining a bit more than a kiss, and the thoughts would make him blush and screw his eyes shut in an attempt to get the thoughts out of his head.
From time to time, he would catch Dongwoon's eyes in a mirror or as they passed one another, and usually the maknae was quick to look away but on some occasions he would let his gaze linger or even slide his gaze down to Hyunseung's lips. Hyunseung wondered how often he thought of their kiss, if he ever did. He wondered if he should talk to Dongwoon about it. But he wasn't exactly about to seek out Dongwoon specifically for that kind of conversation.
A chance presented itself anyway, three weeks after their kiss, when Dongwoon and Hyunseung were left alone in the dorm as Doojoon and Yoseob exited through the front door, telling them they'd be at the recording studio for at least a few hours and they'd find Junhyung and Kikwang there so the four could return altogether later that evening. Hyunseung didn't give much thought to the company he'd be left in until long after goodbyes were exchanged and the front door was shut behind the pair. Hyunseung finished his Twitter update on his phone and then set it aside, his wandering mind stopping its fleeting journey long enough to realize that he and Dongwoon were alone in the living room again.
Dongwoon seemed to be busying himself doing absolutely nothing and yet he looked very content to be doing just that, as long as it meant not looking at Hyunseung. For his part, Hyunseung just started wiggling his toes again.
"You're staring," Dongwoon commented after they'd been silent for a long time. The maknae seemed intently focused on the nails of his right hand.
Hyunseung immediately looked away, realizing he'd been lost in thought and had absently let his gaze wander over to Dongwoon. "Sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry."
Hyunseung looked up at Dongwoon.
"I know it's weird now."
Not really knowing how to respond, Hyunseung let out a noncommittal sound halfway between a grunt and a hum.
Dongwoon stopped looking at his nails to focus his attention on Hyunseung instead. "You never told me what you thought of it."
They both knew he could only be referring to the kiss, so Hyunseung didn't try to pretend he meant anything else. "You never asked."
"Well, I'm asking now."
Hyunseung let out a huff. "I don't know. What did you think?"
Dongwoon shook his head. "I asked you first."
Hyunseung huffed again. "It was... different."
Dongwoon rolled his eyes. "Different? That's the best you've got?"
"Well, I don't know!" Hyunseung defended. "I mean, it was good, alright? I didn't hate it."
"I didn't hate it either," Dongwoon replied.
Hyunseung covered his face with one hand. "It was embarrassing."
Dongwoon shifted closer to Hyunseung. "I didn't think it was that embarrassing."
"How could you not? I mean, we're both guys."
"Hyunseung..."
He looked up at the sound of his name.
"You thought it was good, right?"
He nodded.
"I thought it was good, too. That's not something to be embarrassed about."
Hyunseung sighed. "I really didn't think I would feel as weird as I did about it."
Dongwoon leaned his head on Hyunseung's shoulder and put their feet next to one another's, wiggling his toes in time with Hyunseung's. "Then don't. It's just a kiss."
Hyunseung grinned at the sight of their toes and stopped wiggling his own. "Oh, well, if it's 'just a kiss', do you go around kissing everyone, then?"
"No," Dongwoon nudged Hyunseung's foot with his own and lifted his head to look at him with a broad smile, "just the really, really attractive people."
Hyunseung blushed but didn't look away. "At least you have standards." He pulled his knees toward his chest, wrapping his arms around them.
"Yeah, but..." Dongwoon adopted a melodramatic expression. "It leaves me with almost nobody to kiss!"
"That's not because people aren't attractive, Dongwoon, that's because nobody will let you kiss them."
"Is that so? I certainly didn't hear you complaining."
Hyunseung nudged Dongwoon's shoulder with his own, a slightly embarrassed smile sliding onto his face. "Oh, did I say it was good before? I was just being nice. I didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you it really sucked."
"Well, maybe I just need more practice." Dongwoon leaned in close to Hyunseung. Susprise almost made Hyunseung pull away but he remained unflinching. When Hyunseung didn't make any motion to stop him for several seconds, Dongwoon slowly closed the gap between their lips and kissed the older man firmly. Hyunseung allowed himself to be kissed for a short while, then turned toward Dongwoon more fully and lay his legs flat on the ground, one of his hands finding Dongwoon's chest and sliding upward past his neck before coming to rest on his jawline. Angling his head, Dongwoon deepened their kiss, and Hyunseung thought it was a little clumsy on both their parts from lack of experience but that didn't mean it was bad at all.
Slowly, Dongwoon ended their kiss, keeping his lips close to Hyunseung's as he asked, "So, did that suck?"
Hyunseung grinned and replied, "Maybe it wasn't as bad as before. But I think I need more proof before I can make a decision." He initiated their next kiss, grazing his lips past Dongwoon's teasingly before kissing him fully. Dongwoon responded eagerly, wrapping his arms around Hyunseung's waist to pull their chests into contact. Hyunseung had to admit that it felt strange to be kissing Dongwoon, his close friend and bandmate, and another man nonetheless, but each kiss they shared was better than the last, and Hyunseung wanted more in spite of all the rest of it.
As they continued locking lips, hands tentatively beginning to wander across each other's bodies, Hyunseung found his current position increasingly uncomfortable and had to awkwardly climb onto Dongwoon and straddle his lap to kiss him properly. Immediately, Hyunseung was glad he'd done so as Dongwoon placed both hands on Hyunseung's hips and pulled their lower bodies together. With a groan, Hyunseung rolled their hips together. He slid a hand up Dongwoon's back beneath his shirt, daring to dart his tongue out to graze past Dongwoon's lips. Dongwoon opened his mouth to Hyunseung and coaxed his tongue forward with his own, their tongues moving together as rhythmically as their hips now were.
Then, as Hyunseung pressed his hips forward again, he felt a hard bulge press against him. Dongwoon immediately stilled and broke thier kiss, pulling back to mutter, "I'm sorry, we should stop."
Hyunseung's breaths were heavy, his lips damp and feeling a little kiss-swollen as he asked, "Why?" He rolled their hips together again and brushed his lips past Dongwoon's.
Dongwoon curled his fingers around the back of Hyunseung's neck, restraining himself from kissing the older man the way he wanted to. "I'm getting too excited."
This time, Hyunseung rolled his hips with more force than before, earning him a low grunt from Dongwoon. "'Too excited' is a relative term. But I'm getting excited, too."
Dongwoon pulled Hyunseung's lips to his own, kissing him roughly and nipping at his bottom lip. Then he broke the liplock and said, "We should really stop... at least, for now."
Hyunseung pecked at his lips, but sighed softly before saying, "Yeah, you're probably right."
"Are you going to regret this like you regretted our other kiss?" Dongwoon asked.
Running his hands over Dongwoon's chest, Hyunseung answered, "No, I don't think so. But it's still kind of weird."
Dongwoon kissed Hyunseung then, slowly. When they broke apart, he asked, "Since when have you been normal, anyway?"
~~~~~~~~~~
They were in full hair and clothes for their upcoming performance a few days later, milling around behind the scenes when Hyunseung pulled Dongwoon into a deserted bathroom and kissed him deeply. Kissing Dongwoon had been on Hyunseung's mind practically constantly since that day, and he really wanted to know if Dongwoon felt the same.
"What the hell?" Dongwoon asked quietly, pulling away from the kiss. "Everyone's right outside; someone could walk in and see us."
Hyunseung couldn't resist smiling. Dongwoon may have been upset, but it wasn't about the kiss specifically, just that it had been done in a public place. "I just wanted one," Hyunseung commented before walking out of the restroom, Dongwoon following him soon after.
~~~~~~~~~~
Fingers twined through Hyunseung's as they stood onstage, waving to the fans. He turned to see Dongwoon smiling down at him. Slowly, Dongwoon leaned in. For one heart-stopping moment, Hyunseung thought he was really about to be kissed, and the roar from the crowd was deafening, fans calling his name and Dongwoon's as well as their couple name, "HyunWoon."
At the last possible moment, Dongwoon turned away, grinning from ear to ear, and sauntered off to stand beside Yoseob. Hyunseung waved out to the crowd, grinning as well. He supposed that had been his payback for their kiss in the bathroom.
He really didn't know what was going on between him and Dongwoon, but he knew he wanted more.
~~~~~~~~~~
Dongwoon had managed to weasel his and Hyunseung's way out of joining the rest of the group on an outing two weeks later. Almost as soon as the front door had closed behind the others, Dongwoon had pressed Hyunseung to the wall of the living room, kissing him fiercely. Hyunseung had let him, leaning back and letting the maknae take control of the situation. He held tightly to Dongwoon's shoulders as the younger man greedily pulled at his lips and slid a hand under his shirt. He spread his legs a bit so Dongwoon could step between them, bringing their hips into contact. Then Dongwoon moved his lips down to Hyunseung's chin, then to his neck, and Hyunseung tilted his head back against the wall to give Dongwoon access to any part of his neck he wanted.
"I shouldn't have stopped us last time we were alone," Dongwoon muttered against his skin in between kisses and licks. "It's all I can think about."
Hyunseung had slid his hand through Dongwoon's hair to pull his hot mouth more firmly against his neck. "Me too." His hold on Dongwoon's hair tightened as the younger man bit Hyunseung's neck, and he let out a little whimper. "My heart's been beating like crazy just thinking about it."
"I could barely sleep that night," Dongwoon confessed, then kissed Hyunseung roughly. "All I could think of was how much I wanted to kiss you and touch you." He lifted Hyunseung's leg by the thigh and wrapped it around his hip, rutting against the older man desperately.
Hyunseung whimpered again, then bit Dongwoon's lower lip before kissing him passionately. "It was really frustratingly unsatisfying. We should fix that problem." He pushed Dongwoon away from himself softly, taking a quick moment to orient himself, then led the maknae by his hand into the bedroom. "I think a bed will be more comfortable than the living room floor, this time."
Before they could even make it to the bed, Dongwoon was kissing Hyunseung again, pulling him close. Hyunseung's hand snaked beneath Dongwoon's shirt to slide over his abs, then onto his lower back. Breaking away from their kiss, he walked backwards toward the beds and sank onto his own, pulling Dongwoon down with him. As soon as they were down, Dongwoon pinned Hyunseung to the bed with his body, pressing their lips together almost urgently.
Hyunseung responded passionately, his arms winding around Dongwoon's neck and his lips and tongue clashing with Dongwoon's in his eagerness. Wrapping a leg around the back of Dongwoon's knee and using one hand to pivot himself against the mattress, Hyunseung flipped them over, taking the lead. He moved his mouth down Dongwoon's neck, nipping and kissing his smooth skin. He slid lower, lifting the front of Dongwoon's shirt and pressing his lips to the younger man's stomach. Pushing the shirt further up, he trailed his mouth upward, kissing Dongwoon's chest. Dongwoon raised his torso off the bed long enough for Hyunseung to pull his shirt off his body, then sank back down.
Hyunseung straddled Dongwoon's hips, sitting upright to shed his own shirt, then leaning down to kiss him. He rolled their hips together, feeling the same hard bulge from before. Large hands slid over his bare back, pulling him closer, pressing their chests together. As Dongwoon moved his mouth to Hyunseung's neck and shoulder, Hyunseung began steadily rocking their hips together. Dongwoon let out quiet grunts and moans at the sensation, grazing his teeth along Hyunseung's shoulder, then licking and kissing the skin there.
Hyunseung turned his head to latch his lips to Dongwoon's neck, feeling himself getting harder the more their hips made contact. He was thrusting himself against Dongwoon desperately, trying to achieve more friction. Dongwoon's hips began moving against his own, the younger man's hands sliding down his back until they cupped his ass to pull their lower bodies together firmly. Hyunseung trailed kisses up to Dongwoon's ear, then bit his earlobe painfully, earning him a soft cry from the maknae and a buck of his hips that made Hyunseung moan aloud.
Moving his lips to Dongwoon's for a heated kiss, Hyunseung slid a hand between their gyrating bodies to press his palm against the front of Dongwoon's pants. Dongwoon pressed against his hand, letting out a sound that was half-pleasure and half-frustration. Hyunseung unclasped his pants and pulled down the zipper at a teasingly slow pace, still rocking their bodies together. He slid his hand into Dongwoon's pants and felt a rush of excitement and plasure as his fingertips skimmed along the younger man's hard length. He freed it from it demin entrapment, then broke his kiss with Dongwoon to sit upright and watch himself stroke Dongwoon. Lifting his head and shoulders from the bed, Dongwoon leaned back on his elbows and watched as well, heavy pants and small moans pulling themselves from his lips.
Then Dongwoon reached for Hyunseung's zipper as well, undoing the older man's pants one-handedly and wasting no time in sinking a hand beneath the garment to pull him free as well. Before he could do anything more, though, Hyunseung pulled away and rolled to the side, stripping himself of his pants and tossing them carelessly over the side of the bed. He tugged Dongwoon toward himself, kissing him while pushing at the waistband of the younger man's pants. Dongwoon helped him remove the garment, then rolled onto him, pressing their bare bodies together. Hyunseung moaned at the contact. He wrapped his leg around Dongwoon's hip to pull their hips together more firmly. Their lengths slid together, causing them both to moan into each other's mouths and their hips to pick up a steady pace.
Dongwoon let his hands travel across Hyunseung's body greedily, his lips making their way to Hyunseung's jawline and then to his neck to nip and suck at his pulse point. "Dongwoon..." Hyunseung moaned out softly, his hips rolling harder against the maknae's. With the excitement of the novelty of the experience as well as the taboo feeling of being with another man, Hyunseung could already feel himself nearing completion. Dongwoon's had slid between their bodies and took hold of both of their lengths, stroking them quickly. "Dongwoon..." Hyunseung moaned out again, "Dongwoon, I'm gonna..."
Dongwoon crushed his lips to Hyunseung's as his hand picked up speed. He felt the man beneath him buck upward into his hand, and then Hyunseung was moaning loudly against his lips, his body jerking as he came. Dongwoon stilled his hips and moved his hand slowly against Hyunseung, letting him ride out his orgasm.
Gasping, Hyunseung broke their kiss and leaned his head back with his eyes closed as waves of pleasure rippled through him. When, finally, he felt himself starting to come down from his high, he pushed at Dongwoon's shoulders, forcing the man to roll onto his side. Hyunseung sat up and pushed Dongwoon onto his back, then moved down Dongwoon's body, trailing kisses from his collarbone to his stomach. He looked up at Dongwoon as he licked the sticky traces from his lips he'd managed to acquire on the way down. Threading his fingers through Dongwoon's, he kept their eyes locked as he slid the younger man into his mouth. Dongwoon moaned, not breaking their gaze and doing his best not to thrust upward into Hyunseung's hot mouth. Hyunseung moved at a slow pace, using his tongue and lips to tease Dongwoon, manipulating the sensitive flesh. He could see in Dongwoon's expression that he wanted much more than this agoniziningly slow performance.
Hyunseung held Dongwoon's hip with his free hand and picked up his speed, trying not to let his teeth graze Dongwoon as he took as much of him as he could into his mouth. Dongwoon's hand carded softly through Hyunseung's hair, guiding his head. The faster he moved, the more Dongwoon moaned, until Dongwoon's hips were fighting against Hyunseung's hand as he tried to arch upward into the wet heat surrounding him. "Gonna cum," he warned Hyunseung through a moan, tugging at his hair in an attempt to pull him off. But Hyunseung took his wrist and led the hand away from his hair, forcing himself to take Dongwoon even deeper into his throat. Dongwoon gripped the bedsheet, unable to tear his gaze from the sight of his length disapperaing over and over into Hyunseung's mouth. "God... Hyunseung..." Dongwoon meaned out loudly as Hyunseung moved even faster against him, and then his hips lifted aggressively from the bed as he came into Hyunseung's mouth, their eyes still locked. Hyunseung did his best to swallow everything, pulling away slightly and slowly sliding his mouth over Dongwoon until Dongwoon had finished moaning.
Dognwoon reached down and pulled Hyunseung upward, catching Hyunseung's swollen lips with his own. When they broke apart, Dongwoon spent some time just looking at Hyunseung, at his wet lips and his dilated pupils and his mussed hair and his flushed cheeks. Hyunseung,meanwhile, ran his hand gently over Dongwoon's chest, a question edging into his mind.
"Are we ever going to do this again?" he asked Dongwoon without pretense.
Dongwoon slid a hand over Hyunseung's jawline, his thumb brushing Hyunseung's lip. "I hope so," he answered as his eyes found Hyunseung's.
Hyunseung brought his lips to Dongwoon's, telling him with his kiss that he was thinking, I hope so, too.
~끝~
Author: dracoslovebunny
Pairing: HyunWoon
Status: Oneshot
Genre: Romance
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Slash (graphic)
Word count: 4,209
Summary: In which Hyunseung wishes to settle a little curiosity.
A/N: Written as part of my ongoing ALL-PAIRINGS 15-fic self-challenge. Each fic is a standalone (not part of the same storyline as the others). Fics are prompted by A Little Left of Logical. Title is the prompt.
Previous Installments:
Accident/KiWoon // Imitation of Life/JunWoon // Passing Flame/JunSeung // The Moment/KiSeob // Crave/DooKwang // Massage/DooWoon // Burn/KiSeung // Snack/DongSeob // Letters from Nowhere/2Jun // Lie to Me/JunKwang
Hyunseung slyly cut his eyes toward Dongwoon for what felt like the millionth time. He felt hot around his collar. There was a question burning the tip of his tongue, begging to be asked aloud. Hyunseung didn't know if he had the courage to ask it.
"Is something up?" Dongwoon asked, catching Hyunseung's gaze yet again.
Hyunseung looked away again. "Not really."
"Seriously?" Dongwoon peered at him. "You keep looking at me like that."
"Oh." Hyunseung shrugged and leaned back on his hands. "I'm just thinking about stuff."
With a raised eyebrow, Dongwoon asked, "What stuff?"
Hyunseung cleared his throat, then bit his lip for a quick moment. "Weird stuff."
"What else is new?" Dongwoon rolled his shoulders, trying to alleviate some of the tenseness from their frequent dance practices. "So what's on your mind?"
"Well..." Hyunseung sighed, shaking his head. "Forget it, it's just weird."
"No, come on," Dongwoon fixed a firm gaze on the older man. "Just tell me."
Hyunseung set his gaze on the floor of their living room. "Well, I was thinking about this friend I had when I was like fourteen or fifteen or something. I stayed over at his house sometimes, and this one time he asked me... well, he asked if I had ever tried anything with anyone. Like kissing. And I said no. And he asked if I wanted to, with him. And I said no. And then, I was thinking, just now, and actually a few times since then, if that was normal for him to ask. I was wondering if anyone had ever asked you that before."
Dongwoon frowned. "No, I never had a guy ask me to kiss him. But I knew a few close friends who told me they tried it when they were younger, to see what it was like. I guess there might have been more guys who tried it, but they wouldn't exactly go around advertizing that kind of thing."
"Oh." Hyunseung stretched out his legs, wiggling his toes and staring at them. "What did your friends say? Did they say it was gross?"
Dongwoon chuckled a bit. "Well, yeah, they all said it was at first. But later on one of them told me secretly that it wasn't bad. He even said he liked it. But he's not gay or anything. He just said it was a nice feeling."
Hyunseung looked at Dongwoon. "Do you think that's normal, then, to think it's not that bad when you kiss a guy?"
With a shrug, Dongwoon answered, "How would I know? I've never tried."
"Oh. Yeah." Hyunseung was back to looking at his toes. "Well, do you think you ever would?"
"What, think it's not bad to kiss a guy?"
"No, I mean, kissing a guy at all. Do you think you would ever try it?"
Dongwoon was silent for what felt to Hyunseung to be a long time. Then he replied, "Maybe. I don't know. Would you?"
"Maybe." Hyunseung wiggled his toes. "Have you ever really even thought about it?"
"Yeah. I mean, I guess. Not, like, in detail, or often, or something. I mean, I don't, like, fantasize about guys."
"Me neither." Hyunseung's voice was quiet.
After another stretch of silence, Dongwoon asked, "Hyung?"
"Mm?" Hyunseung responded, staring at his wiggling toes.
"Is there a reason you're asking me all this?"
Hyunseung felt hot around his collar again. "No."
Yet again, silence filled the room, until Dongwoon asked again, "Hyung?"
Hyunseung looked up at him. "Yeah?"
"Were you gonna ask me to kiss you?"
Blushing, Hyunseung shook his head quickly. "N-no!" he answered quickly. "I was just curious!"
"I mean, 'cause if you were, I thought, well, maybe. You know, since we're good friends, and I trust you not to tell."
"Oh." Hyunseung's toes were wiggling fiercely as he stared at them, unable to get the blush to leave his cheeks. "Well, I was thinking of... I don't know, possibly asking. Maybe. If you wanted to try it. Or whatever."
Dongwoon shifted closer to Hyunseung, their shoulders almost touching. "Yeah, I mean, what's the harm, right? It's just a kiss, right?"
"Yeah." Hyunseung had stopped wiggling his toes, but he was blushing harder than ever. "It's not like I'm gonna go run and tell someone or anything like that. But you already know that."
"So... you want to try this, then?"
Hyunseung couldn't even speak because of his intense embarrassment, so he settled for a small nod. Dongwoon took a deep breath, and when Hyunseung lifted his gaze to look at him, he saw Dongwoon was blushing as well. "I don't really... know how to do this."
Dongwoon worried his lip, then set his mouth and leaned in toward Hyunseung. Panicking at the last moment, Hyunsueng grinned and pulled away. "Sorry, sorry," he waved his hand. "NG. Do-over." He willed his grin away. "Okay. Ready."
"Are you sure?" Dongwoon asked, looking skeptical.
Hyunseung released a puff of air and nodded. "Yes."
Dongwoon studied him for a moment before leaning in again. This time Hyunseung didn't try to escape the kiss, closing his eyes just before feeling a pair of lips press to his own in a clumsy way. He was freaking out internally, but did his best not to show it, trying to keep himself relaxed. When Dongwoon adjusted his lips and pressed them harder against Hyunseung's, Hyunseung had to grab onto Dongwoon's arm to keep himself seated upright. Then the kiss didn't feel so clumsy to Hyunseung anymore. In fact, it felt nice. The lips on his own were warm and soft, and Hyunseung could feel at once that the kiss was more masculine than the brief kisses he'd had with his only ex-girlfriend and that it didn't matter than he was kissing a guy, because it felt good.
Dongwoon pulled Hyunseung's bottom lip between his own, lightly sucking at the flesh. His hand found Hyunseung's thigh, using it to adjust himself closer to the older man. When he pulled away from the kiss then, he gauged Hyunseung's reaction with half-lidded eyes. Hyunseung felt himself panting a little, his heart rate out of control. Part of him wanted Dongwoon to kiss him again, and another part wanted for this to have never happened, because all of a sudden he felt filled with shame. He wasn't really supposed to like this. It was only to satiate curiosity.
Hyunseung stood then, heading for the kitchen. "We should eat before the other guys come home."
Dongwoon didn't object to his sudden change of topic.
~~~~~~~~~~
Things were strange. Hyunseung and Dongwoon shared a lot fewer words from that time on, but a lot more glances. It wasn't such a drastic change that anyone else noticed, and for the most part they pretended not to notice as well. Hyunseung did his best not to reflect on the kiss. He knew that at the time it was happening he'd liked it, but beyond that he had no real desire to figure out how much he had liked it, or if it had been normal to like it the way he had.
Still, sometimes when his mind would wander off as it was wont to do, Hyunseung would suddenly realize that he'd been thinking about the kiss again. He could recall with vivid detail the feeling of warm lips pressed to his own. Sometimes he would catch himself imagining a bit more than a kiss, and the thoughts would make him blush and screw his eyes shut in an attempt to get the thoughts out of his head.
From time to time, he would catch Dongwoon's eyes in a mirror or as they passed one another, and usually the maknae was quick to look away but on some occasions he would let his gaze linger or even slide his gaze down to Hyunseung's lips. Hyunseung wondered how often he thought of their kiss, if he ever did. He wondered if he should talk to Dongwoon about it. But he wasn't exactly about to seek out Dongwoon specifically for that kind of conversation.
A chance presented itself anyway, three weeks after their kiss, when Dongwoon and Hyunseung were left alone in the dorm as Doojoon and Yoseob exited through the front door, telling them they'd be at the recording studio for at least a few hours and they'd find Junhyung and Kikwang there so the four could return altogether later that evening. Hyunseung didn't give much thought to the company he'd be left in until long after goodbyes were exchanged and the front door was shut behind the pair. Hyunseung finished his Twitter update on his phone and then set it aside, his wandering mind stopping its fleeting journey long enough to realize that he and Dongwoon were alone in the living room again.
Dongwoon seemed to be busying himself doing absolutely nothing and yet he looked very content to be doing just that, as long as it meant not looking at Hyunseung. For his part, Hyunseung just started wiggling his toes again.
"You're staring," Dongwoon commented after they'd been silent for a long time. The maknae seemed intently focused on the nails of his right hand.
Hyunseung immediately looked away, realizing he'd been lost in thought and had absently let his gaze wander over to Dongwoon. "Sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry."
Hyunseung looked up at Dongwoon.
"I know it's weird now."
Not really knowing how to respond, Hyunseung let out a noncommittal sound halfway between a grunt and a hum.
Dongwoon stopped looking at his nails to focus his attention on Hyunseung instead. "You never told me what you thought of it."
They both knew he could only be referring to the kiss, so Hyunseung didn't try to pretend he meant anything else. "You never asked."
"Well, I'm asking now."
Hyunseung let out a huff. "I don't know. What did you think?"
Dongwoon shook his head. "I asked you first."
Hyunseung huffed again. "It was... different."
Dongwoon rolled his eyes. "Different? That's the best you've got?"
"Well, I don't know!" Hyunseung defended. "I mean, it was good, alright? I didn't hate it."
"I didn't hate it either," Dongwoon replied.
Hyunseung covered his face with one hand. "It was embarrassing."
Dongwoon shifted closer to Hyunseung. "I didn't think it was that embarrassing."
"How could you not? I mean, we're both guys."
"Hyunseung..."
He looked up at the sound of his name.
"You thought it was good, right?"
He nodded.
"I thought it was good, too. That's not something to be embarrassed about."
Hyunseung sighed. "I really didn't think I would feel as weird as I did about it."
Dongwoon leaned his head on Hyunseung's shoulder and put their feet next to one another's, wiggling his toes in time with Hyunseung's. "Then don't. It's just a kiss."
Hyunseung grinned at the sight of their toes and stopped wiggling his own. "Oh, well, if it's 'just a kiss', do you go around kissing everyone, then?"
"No," Dongwoon nudged Hyunseung's foot with his own and lifted his head to look at him with a broad smile, "just the really, really attractive people."
Hyunseung blushed but didn't look away. "At least you have standards." He pulled his knees toward his chest, wrapping his arms around them.
"Yeah, but..." Dongwoon adopted a melodramatic expression. "It leaves me with almost nobody to kiss!"
"That's not because people aren't attractive, Dongwoon, that's because nobody will let you kiss them."
"Is that so? I certainly didn't hear you complaining."
Hyunseung nudged Dongwoon's shoulder with his own, a slightly embarrassed smile sliding onto his face. "Oh, did I say it was good before? I was just being nice. I didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you it really sucked."
"Well, maybe I just need more practice." Dongwoon leaned in close to Hyunseung. Susprise almost made Hyunseung pull away but he remained unflinching. When Hyunseung didn't make any motion to stop him for several seconds, Dongwoon slowly closed the gap between their lips and kissed the older man firmly. Hyunseung allowed himself to be kissed for a short while, then turned toward Dongwoon more fully and lay his legs flat on the ground, one of his hands finding Dongwoon's chest and sliding upward past his neck before coming to rest on his jawline. Angling his head, Dongwoon deepened their kiss, and Hyunseung thought it was a little clumsy on both their parts from lack of experience but that didn't mean it was bad at all.
Slowly, Dongwoon ended their kiss, keeping his lips close to Hyunseung's as he asked, "So, did that suck?"
Hyunseung grinned and replied, "Maybe it wasn't as bad as before. But I think I need more proof before I can make a decision." He initiated their next kiss, grazing his lips past Dongwoon's teasingly before kissing him fully. Dongwoon responded eagerly, wrapping his arms around Hyunseung's waist to pull their chests into contact. Hyunseung had to admit that it felt strange to be kissing Dongwoon, his close friend and bandmate, and another man nonetheless, but each kiss they shared was better than the last, and Hyunseung wanted more in spite of all the rest of it.
As they continued locking lips, hands tentatively beginning to wander across each other's bodies, Hyunseung found his current position increasingly uncomfortable and had to awkwardly climb onto Dongwoon and straddle his lap to kiss him properly. Immediately, Hyunseung was glad he'd done so as Dongwoon placed both hands on Hyunseung's hips and pulled their lower bodies together. With a groan, Hyunseung rolled their hips together. He slid a hand up Dongwoon's back beneath his shirt, daring to dart his tongue out to graze past Dongwoon's lips. Dongwoon opened his mouth to Hyunseung and coaxed his tongue forward with his own, their tongues moving together as rhythmically as their hips now were.
Then, as Hyunseung pressed his hips forward again, he felt a hard bulge press against him. Dongwoon immediately stilled and broke thier kiss, pulling back to mutter, "I'm sorry, we should stop."
Hyunseung's breaths were heavy, his lips damp and feeling a little kiss-swollen as he asked, "Why?" He rolled their hips together again and brushed his lips past Dongwoon's.
Dongwoon curled his fingers around the back of Hyunseung's neck, restraining himself from kissing the older man the way he wanted to. "I'm getting too excited."
This time, Hyunseung rolled his hips with more force than before, earning him a low grunt from Dongwoon. "'Too excited' is a relative term. But I'm getting excited, too."
Dongwoon pulled Hyunseung's lips to his own, kissing him roughly and nipping at his bottom lip. Then he broke the liplock and said, "We should really stop... at least, for now."
Hyunseung pecked at his lips, but sighed softly before saying, "Yeah, you're probably right."
"Are you going to regret this like you regretted our other kiss?" Dongwoon asked.
Running his hands over Dongwoon's chest, Hyunseung answered, "No, I don't think so. But it's still kind of weird."
Dongwoon kissed Hyunseung then, slowly. When they broke apart, he asked, "Since when have you been normal, anyway?"
~~~~~~~~~~
They were in full hair and clothes for their upcoming performance a few days later, milling around behind the scenes when Hyunseung pulled Dongwoon into a deserted bathroom and kissed him deeply. Kissing Dongwoon had been on Hyunseung's mind practically constantly since that day, and he really wanted to know if Dongwoon felt the same.
"What the hell?" Dongwoon asked quietly, pulling away from the kiss. "Everyone's right outside; someone could walk in and see us."
Hyunseung couldn't resist smiling. Dongwoon may have been upset, but it wasn't about the kiss specifically, just that it had been done in a public place. "I just wanted one," Hyunseung commented before walking out of the restroom, Dongwoon following him soon after.
~~~~~~~~~~
Fingers twined through Hyunseung's as they stood onstage, waving to the fans. He turned to see Dongwoon smiling down at him. Slowly, Dongwoon leaned in. For one heart-stopping moment, Hyunseung thought he was really about to be kissed, and the roar from the crowd was deafening, fans calling his name and Dongwoon's as well as their couple name, "HyunWoon."
At the last possible moment, Dongwoon turned away, grinning from ear to ear, and sauntered off to stand beside Yoseob. Hyunseung waved out to the crowd, grinning as well. He supposed that had been his payback for their kiss in the bathroom.
He really didn't know what was going on between him and Dongwoon, but he knew he wanted more.
~~~~~~~~~~
Dongwoon had managed to weasel his and Hyunseung's way out of joining the rest of the group on an outing two weeks later. Almost as soon as the front door had closed behind the others, Dongwoon had pressed Hyunseung to the wall of the living room, kissing him fiercely. Hyunseung had let him, leaning back and letting the maknae take control of the situation. He held tightly to Dongwoon's shoulders as the younger man greedily pulled at his lips and slid a hand under his shirt. He spread his legs a bit so Dongwoon could step between them, bringing their hips into contact. Then Dongwoon moved his lips down to Hyunseung's chin, then to his neck, and Hyunseung tilted his head back against the wall to give Dongwoon access to any part of his neck he wanted.
"I shouldn't have stopped us last time we were alone," Dongwoon muttered against his skin in between kisses and licks. "It's all I can think about."
Hyunseung had slid his hand through Dongwoon's hair to pull his hot mouth more firmly against his neck. "Me too." His hold on Dongwoon's hair tightened as the younger man bit Hyunseung's neck, and he let out a little whimper. "My heart's been beating like crazy just thinking about it."
"I could barely sleep that night," Dongwoon confessed, then kissed Hyunseung roughly. "All I could think of was how much I wanted to kiss you and touch you." He lifted Hyunseung's leg by the thigh and wrapped it around his hip, rutting against the older man desperately.
Hyunseung whimpered again, then bit Dongwoon's lower lip before kissing him passionately. "It was really frustratingly unsatisfying. We should fix that problem." He pushed Dongwoon away from himself softly, taking a quick moment to orient himself, then led the maknae by his hand into the bedroom. "I think a bed will be more comfortable than the living room floor, this time."
Before they could even make it to the bed, Dongwoon was kissing Hyunseung again, pulling him close. Hyunseung's hand snaked beneath Dongwoon's shirt to slide over his abs, then onto his lower back. Breaking away from their kiss, he walked backwards toward the beds and sank onto his own, pulling Dongwoon down with him. As soon as they were down, Dongwoon pinned Hyunseung to the bed with his body, pressing their lips together almost urgently.
Hyunseung responded passionately, his arms winding around Dongwoon's neck and his lips and tongue clashing with Dongwoon's in his eagerness. Wrapping a leg around the back of Dongwoon's knee and using one hand to pivot himself against the mattress, Hyunseung flipped them over, taking the lead. He moved his mouth down Dongwoon's neck, nipping and kissing his smooth skin. He slid lower, lifting the front of Dongwoon's shirt and pressing his lips to the younger man's stomach. Pushing the shirt further up, he trailed his mouth upward, kissing Dongwoon's chest. Dongwoon raised his torso off the bed long enough for Hyunseung to pull his shirt off his body, then sank back down.
Hyunseung straddled Dongwoon's hips, sitting upright to shed his own shirt, then leaning down to kiss him. He rolled their hips together, feeling the same hard bulge from before. Large hands slid over his bare back, pulling him closer, pressing their chests together. As Dongwoon moved his mouth to Hyunseung's neck and shoulder, Hyunseung began steadily rocking their hips together. Dongwoon let out quiet grunts and moans at the sensation, grazing his teeth along Hyunseung's shoulder, then licking and kissing the skin there.
Hyunseung turned his head to latch his lips to Dongwoon's neck, feeling himself getting harder the more their hips made contact. He was thrusting himself against Dongwoon desperately, trying to achieve more friction. Dongwoon's hips began moving against his own, the younger man's hands sliding down his back until they cupped his ass to pull their lower bodies together firmly. Hyunseung trailed kisses up to Dongwoon's ear, then bit his earlobe painfully, earning him a soft cry from the maknae and a buck of his hips that made Hyunseung moan aloud.
Moving his lips to Dongwoon's for a heated kiss, Hyunseung slid a hand between their gyrating bodies to press his palm against the front of Dongwoon's pants. Dongwoon pressed against his hand, letting out a sound that was half-pleasure and half-frustration. Hyunseung unclasped his pants and pulled down the zipper at a teasingly slow pace, still rocking their bodies together. He slid his hand into Dongwoon's pants and felt a rush of excitement and plasure as his fingertips skimmed along the younger man's hard length. He freed it from it demin entrapment, then broke his kiss with Dongwoon to sit upright and watch himself stroke Dongwoon. Lifting his head and shoulders from the bed, Dongwoon leaned back on his elbows and watched as well, heavy pants and small moans pulling themselves from his lips.
Then Dongwoon reached for Hyunseung's zipper as well, undoing the older man's pants one-handedly and wasting no time in sinking a hand beneath the garment to pull him free as well. Before he could do anything more, though, Hyunseung pulled away and rolled to the side, stripping himself of his pants and tossing them carelessly over the side of the bed. He tugged Dongwoon toward himself, kissing him while pushing at the waistband of the younger man's pants. Dongwoon helped him remove the garment, then rolled onto him, pressing their bare bodies together. Hyunseung moaned at the contact. He wrapped his leg around Dongwoon's hip to pull their hips together more firmly. Their lengths slid together, causing them both to moan into each other's mouths and their hips to pick up a steady pace.
Dongwoon let his hands travel across Hyunseung's body greedily, his lips making their way to Hyunseung's jawline and then to his neck to nip and suck at his pulse point. "Dongwoon..." Hyunseung moaned out softly, his hips rolling harder against the maknae's. With the excitement of the novelty of the experience as well as the taboo feeling of being with another man, Hyunseung could already feel himself nearing completion. Dongwoon's had slid between their bodies and took hold of both of their lengths, stroking them quickly. "Dongwoon..." Hyunseung moaned out again, "Dongwoon, I'm gonna..."
Dongwoon crushed his lips to Hyunseung's as his hand picked up speed. He felt the man beneath him buck upward into his hand, and then Hyunseung was moaning loudly against his lips, his body jerking as he came. Dongwoon stilled his hips and moved his hand slowly against Hyunseung, letting him ride out his orgasm.
Gasping, Hyunseung broke their kiss and leaned his head back with his eyes closed as waves of pleasure rippled through him. When, finally, he felt himself starting to come down from his high, he pushed at Dongwoon's shoulders, forcing the man to roll onto his side. Hyunseung sat up and pushed Dongwoon onto his back, then moved down Dongwoon's body, trailing kisses from his collarbone to his stomach. He looked up at Dongwoon as he licked the sticky traces from his lips he'd managed to acquire on the way down. Threading his fingers through Dongwoon's, he kept their eyes locked as he slid the younger man into his mouth. Dongwoon moaned, not breaking their gaze and doing his best not to thrust upward into Hyunseung's hot mouth. Hyunseung moved at a slow pace, using his tongue and lips to tease Dongwoon, manipulating the sensitive flesh. He could see in Dongwoon's expression that he wanted much more than this agoniziningly slow performance.
Hyunseung held Dongwoon's hip with his free hand and picked up his speed, trying not to let his teeth graze Dongwoon as he took as much of him as he could into his mouth. Dongwoon's hand carded softly through Hyunseung's hair, guiding his head. The faster he moved, the more Dongwoon moaned, until Dongwoon's hips were fighting against Hyunseung's hand as he tried to arch upward into the wet heat surrounding him. "Gonna cum," he warned Hyunseung through a moan, tugging at his hair in an attempt to pull him off. But Hyunseung took his wrist and led the hand away from his hair, forcing himself to take Dongwoon even deeper into his throat. Dongwoon gripped the bedsheet, unable to tear his gaze from the sight of his length disapperaing over and over into Hyunseung's mouth. "God... Hyunseung..." Dongwoon meaned out loudly as Hyunseung moved even faster against him, and then his hips lifted aggressively from the bed as he came into Hyunseung's mouth, their eyes still locked. Hyunseung did his best to swallow everything, pulling away slightly and slowly sliding his mouth over Dongwoon until Dongwoon had finished moaning.
Dognwoon reached down and pulled Hyunseung upward, catching Hyunseung's swollen lips with his own. When they broke apart, Dongwoon spent some time just looking at Hyunseung, at his wet lips and his dilated pupils and his mussed hair and his flushed cheeks. Hyunseung,meanwhile, ran his hand gently over Dongwoon's chest, a question edging into his mind.
"Are we ever going to do this again?" he asked Dongwoon without pretense.
Dongwoon slid a hand over Hyunseung's jawline, his thumb brushing Hyunseung's lip. "I hope so," he answered as his eyes found Hyunseung's.
Hyunseung brought his lips to Dongwoon's, telling him with his kiss that he was thinking, I hope so, too.
~끝~