yes, the rumors are true. i have a girlfriend. sorry ladies. this ship has sailed. this passenger train is long down the tracks, and it's left you standing at the station with your suitcase hangin' round yer shoes. and lemme tell ya, this here train comes equipped with all the luxuries a modern life. holy potatoes,she's wonderful! i'm just dogs ( Read more... )

this poem will make you wet ( Read more... )

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seriously, here's the thing. sometimes it's easy to get down on yourself. and i'm not talking jive for masturbate. it's easy to think you're not good enough. not talented enough. not tall enough. not wiiiiiiiiiide enough. not thin enough. not pretty enough. not smart enough. not hung enough. i know about this. i know about this because fo twelve ( Read more... )

holy shit. i love blazing saddles so much it actually hurts my heart. sometimes i think that heaven is a campfire in the middle of the desert with twenty cowboys eating beans out of a giant cauldron, passing gas through their mouths and assholes, and not caring about the women who aren't in love with them because they're so disgusting ( Read more... )

fuck you, mike ( Read more... )

sometimes there are some times in life when there is cause for celebration. this time in my life is one of those times when there is cause for celebration. as some of you know, on september 24, i am going to embark on my journey into international fame. i will begin the filming of a low budget horror film titled "wrestle maniac", playing the role ( Read more... )

At the moment, I am hanging out in my room with Molly Hager. She's this girl. You know... here's the thing. She's going back to New York soon. And by New York, I mean New York City, not New York State. She goes to college there, where she learns how to sing and dance and act, and hopefully, this year, to love ( Read more... )

Hey everybody ( Read more... )

so. since i last updated i've joined an incredible acting class at the Beverly Hills Playhouse taught by the frighteningly genius gary imhoff. brian, more on this later. and my mother and her sister opened an awesome, awesome store, The Sisters of Bubik, in Old Town Pasadena. it's fucking great. in my next post i'll include a link to the website. ( Read more... )