ISDD

[radicalmagic]

so. since i last updated i've joined an incredible acting class at the Beverly Hills Playhouse taught by the frighteningly genius gary imhoff. brian, more on this later. and my mother and her sister opened an awesome, awesome store, The Sisters of Bubik, in Old Town Pasadena. it's fucking great. in my next post i'll include a link to the website. but the main reason i am writing this entry is because i have something i need to get off my shoulders. a secret past that very, very few are privy to the intimate details of. i was born with a rare disease. called ISDD. or Inter-Scrotal-Displacement-Disorder. very bluntly put, i was born with my penis inside my ballsack. from birth until the age of fifteen, i lived with this condition. almost constant discomfort, and as the years passed, increasing embarrassment. i couldn't shower after gym, urinate standing up, or do anything that most young (or old) men take for granted every day. i'm sure you're asking yourself how i was able to urinate. upon the discovery of this incredibly uncommon ailment, the doctor will make waht is called a micro-filtrational incision at the base of the scrotom, basically a crosshatched "drain" which allows the urine to flow out of the scrotum after it is released from the urethra. it's a slow, but relatively painless process. what was painful was the isolation ISDD made me feel. i was unable to join my friends in their weekly rounds of the "muffin game", i was unable to be intimate with a girl, and i was unable to masturbate, which led to more than a few awkward, unsightly erections which stretched my scrotum to the limits of its elasticity. often i remained tender and unable to perform simple physical tasks for hours after pooping a boner. at age fifteen, a surgeon performed the complex phallic-extradition surgery (successfully), and was able to completely close the embrasure at the top of the scrotum from which he pulled my now fully functional weiner. (they have to wait until fifteen to perfrom the operation because the balls have dropped completely by fifteen. it also allows the penis to do much of it's growing. early removal could stunt the growth of the penis.) and as for the state that my penis is in now and has been since the operation, i have only one word:

ENORMOUS.

thanks so much for reading this. i truly feel a whole lot better now that all of you know. poem!

Lonesome
(# a hundred or two hundred & eighty something)

In the brutish cowling cold
Where all those tender hands freeze up
In all them frozen pockets
Where all those winter boots
Are gutted out & laced with snow
& where everybody’s
Hobbled knees get bent & crazy
All the way in through the bones-
& in the brutish cowling cold
Where all those exhalations
Explode with frost & diamonds
Where every single sneeze
Is ripped through jagged stinging noses
& where nobody’s
Eyes are all the way open
On account a the wind’s wild stabbing-

There’s a park bench,
I imagine.
& on this park bench-
There’s these two people who are very, very warm.
Because they love each other very, very deeply…

well...

I never done sat on no park bench.

My guts are still shaking.

Grand-fa-ther Clock!
Grand-fa-ther-Clock!

I've got a question. Well, it's more like a favor...