[public]

[quiettotheend]

[ these were meant to be individually locked, but are all public ]I just want to thank everyone here for -- for bein more than I ever expected. I know that livin in Chiago can be hardd and I guess I'm kind of testamnet of that, but

Comments

[sophicsulphur]

You're going to die, aren't you?

I never really knew you, but I'll miss you anyway.

I'm really sorry I couldn't

Please don't be scared, okay? It's not going to be bad, don't be scared.

and if I'm crying on my journal, it's not cause it's going to be bad it's cause I always wanted to be your friend and now I'll miss you.

[quiettotheend]

Id say you could cme and visit me, but then you'd just get sick.

One of the best friend s I ever made, I barely knw.

[sophicsulphur]

I really really want to. I don't care if I get sick but I have to leave the country like really soon and I probably shouldn't take it with me cause that would be bad for everyone else.

But I feel really bad. I wish I could be there.

You will be safe though. Promise.

[quiettotheend]

I thought I was ready.

[pplrunincircles]

I love you Tabitha. You don't have to apologize for anything. You've given me so much. So many good memories.

I love you. You're my friend. I don't know

I don't know if there's anything I can do, but there's nowhere else I could be. But with you right now.

I'm on my way.

[prose time activate]

[pplrunincircles]

For all the people that she's helped die, she has never really known any of them. They haven't been her friend. She hasn't loved them.

Elizabeth will not walk into this situation making the assumption that Tabitha is really dying. She forces herself to have hope even if Tabitha believes she's dying, even if the doctor's think it's true, even if it feels like death when she walks in the room.

She shoves back the painful feeling in her chest, swallowing it back and looking to the bed with concern and love in her gaze. Her hands are shaking. If she's dying from sickness, there's nothing she can do. She can't take the pain away, but she wishes she could. She wants to. "Tabitha?"

[ with our powers combined... ]

[quiettotheend]

It takes a few moments for Elizabeth's voice to register. Her head is swimming with fatigue and narcotics. She shifts slightly, trying to sit up and see her friend, but it's too much effort. Her face is even paler than usual, and it seems that somehow she's lost weight.

This isn't the first time Elizabeth has seen her friend sick, but she's never seen Tabitha in this bad of shape.

But then she recognizes that is actually is Elizabeth in the room, not some fevered delusion, and that brings a smile to her face. Even if it's wiped away pretty quickly by a bout of coughs. Once those are over, though, the smile comes back.

[we are captain planet!]

[pplrunincircles]

It hits Elizabeth hard. Tabitha is looking at her, and she isn't expecting it because she's dying of illness, right? She shouldn't be seeing the death, but there it is. Accidental drug overdose. It's the nurse's fault. She sees it, and she knows.

Her hand slides over her stomach, and she shuts her eyes, trying to block out the image. It's making her feel sick and terrible and good (because it's what she's meant to do for her friend), but she pushes past it all and steps further into the room, swallowing back the tightness in her throat.

Her eyes burn, and she sits down because she has to. It's not far away, the death but not too close either. She looks so sick, so thin, and all she can think is that death will be a relief for her because there will be no more pain. At the same time, some other part of her (the human, teenager part) is screaming because she doesn't want to lose her friend.

"Hey," Elizabeth says, wincing at the coughing sound and fighting past the imagery.

[ or like, captain tinehgirl idek ]

[quiettotheend]

More than anything, Tabitha wants to be well for her friend. Just put some color back in her cheeks, find the strength to sit up. But it's just not there. She doesn't even have enough energy in reserve to shift more, to face Elizabeth more properly. It's shameful, having her friend see her like this, but at the same time, it's so relieving not to be alone anymore.

Neither of her parents are there. Her mother hasn't even responded to her, and her father's busy taking care of more important things. The nurses haven't been consistent either, as they keep getting sick, so she hasn't even had that comfort.

Which is why she can't help it but break down crying at Elizabeth's simple greeting. "Hey," she says after a few moments, not even bothering to wipe the snot off her face, or brush the tears away. She then chokes up, not able to stop crying.

She's just so afraid. She thought she was ready, but she's not.

[Locked]

[onlypotter]

Tabitha,

We only met the one time, but I was glad that we did meet. You made me feel better about that bloody book. Thank you so much for that.

I hope it stops hurting soon.

[Locked]

[quiettotheend]

you have no idea how much that menas coming from you