[VIDEO] -- TO ALL SCPs, RESEARCHERS, AND AGENTS ON BASE

[punches_ooparts]

For the love of--this paperwork is going to be horrid. I've never seen 2000 spit out things at this rate. A bunch of people who can do who-knows what, a toaster, and a damned dragon. This is rid--eh? What was that? This is on?Well! As good now as ever, I suppose. Alright, alright, listen up ladies, gentlemen, and those of indeterminate gender! I'm

Comments

[anybodywitheyes]

FINALLY someone who sounds willing to actually meet us half-way rather than just barking orders and questions over a PA system.

I do have a question, as it turns out: are you intending to keep us locked up in these little rooms for the entirety of our stay?

[punches_ooparts]

Excellent question from the surprisingly adorable talking beast!

We'll keep you locked up alone in those miserable little rooms only if you're uncooperative and frustrating. Otherwise, you'll be given some freedoms depending on how threatening and cooperative you are. It'd be going a bit more quickly, but we haven't had thirty of you show up at once before.

[anybodywitheyes]

Notice how I am not berating you for calling me adorable. I think that's reasonably cooperative.

[punches_ooparts]

Indeed it is! Keep this up and we should get along just fine! In fact, I'll try to get around to doing the paperwork for you a little sooner. Probably.

[lone_hater]

While I imagine that I'm not going to be getting any particular details of the situation yet, I would like to know when my things will be returned.

[punches_ooparts]

Depends.

[lone_hater]

On my cooperation?

[punches_ooparts]

You're a fast learner. Yes, when you get your belongings back depends on your cooperation as well as the...qualities of your belongings. I hope you have no weapons of mass destruction or vicious demon beasts, otherwise those may take a while to give back.

[become_tang]

I am available at the earliest opportunity for testing and questioning.

[punches_ooparts]

Assuming you've been telling the truth, your paperwork should be the easiest to get done, so I'll likely make you a priority.

[super encrypted communication as best Gendo can manage on what he's got]

[become_tang]

I suppose now would be the appropriate time to tell you that I have a... to use your own terminology, "SCP" contained within my hand. It is in a dormant larval stage and doesn't pose any threat so long as I continue to contain it as I have.

[punches_ooparts]

...Alright, that'll make things a bit more complicated, but all the more reason to prioritize you above the others.

Tell me just what this item in your hand is.

[omega_alien]

You think sticking us in cages is the best way to "take care of us"?!

WE'RE NOT PETS, DAMMIT!!!

[punches_ooparts]

You're right! You look more like a toy.

[omega_alien]

WHAT?!

[punches_ooparts]

It's a joke. Calm down. We're not keeping you here as pets. Unless you compare yourselves to guinea pigs.

[scp963]

"Entirely too jovial. Perhaps we should execute a couple, to show them, we mean business."

[punches_ooparts]

Oh, come now. Jovial is exactly what we should be shooting for. A happy SCP is a cooperative SCP and there's nothing I value more than cooperation. Saves on time, effort, and resources.

[scp963]

"A properly cowed SCP is co-operative. If we cannot make use of them, we should get rid of them"

[punches_ooparts]

Normally, I'd agree. Considering the nature of SCP-2000-RP, however...well, I haven't added that amendment yet. The SCPs produced by it have a tendency to up and disappear, presumably back to wherever they came, so it's not as though we're keeping the 'useless' ones forever.

...Besides, I've already had this conversation with O5.