Still sick. Thus, fic of the self-indulgent variety.
Sitting On A Log
InuKai, PG13, 1100 words.
Inui, Kaidoh, moon, and stars.
NB: I couldn't figure out if there was a particular Japanese idiom for earthshine so I just went with the one I knew.
(
Inui needed more time. )
Comments 56
It's too bad you didn't keep going with their adventure in the woods. Seriously, you spoil (okaysortanotreally) the momokai fans with the occasional smutty adventures, it's just not fair to the other side of the ukekaidoh fandom. :)
...not that I'm complaining about fluff. :D
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There were some points that I think Inui would have responded slightly more *him*
Do you want to elaborate? I'm always happy to get crit, but without details, I won't be able to improve.
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Hee! Someone else said the same thing. I swear I didn't change it.
But actually, I think that bears out what you said: I think for a couple of parts the statement or comments are made by Inui that don't give a hint to his expression or I mean his feelings. It's not that Inui is OOC, but that I didn't give enough context to his early remarks, especially given that he's the POV character.
I think that when you re-read it, because you already had the entire context available to you, it was easier to work out how Inui was feeling.
So, thanks for taking the time to think about this -- it's really helpful. :) I may edit this later on, before I archive it.
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...no kiss? *is sad*
Sigh, love.
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Ahhhh, I love your Kaidou so MUCH! And your Inui, too. I usually read InuKai only because it's the only way to read ANY Kaidou, but YOURS I actually look forward to. ^____^
*continues to quietly wave MomoKai flag, however, and tempt you to join the game as Momo so we can have a proper triangle going* (The Inui player is also a MomoKai fan, we could have so much fun! ^___^)
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Still no time to RP, though, fun as I'm sure it would be. I need that time to write and ponder my own triangle-y thoughts.
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And this: "You lead," Inui said. "I'll follow."
There's just something about it that makes me go *eee*.
As always, the last line is absolutely perfect. :D
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And this: "You lead," Inui said. "I'll follow."
There's just something about it that makes me go *eee*.
Yay! I liked Inui's deliberate role-reversal in this story; I wish I'd developed it a bit more.
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