Still sick. Thus, fic of the self-indulgent variety.
Sitting On A Log
InuKai, PG13, 1100 words.
Inui, Kaidoh, moon, and stars.
NB: I couldn't figure out if there was a particular Japanese idiom for earthshine so I just went with the one I knew.
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Inui needed more time. )
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There were some points that I think Inui would have responded slightly more *him*
Do you want to elaborate? I'm always happy to get crit, but without details, I won't be able to improve.
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Hee! Someone else said the same thing. I swear I didn't change it.
But actually, I think that bears out what you said: I think for a couple of parts the statement or comments are made by Inui that don't give a hint to his expression or I mean his feelings. It's not that Inui is OOC, but that I didn't give enough context to his early remarks, especially given that he's the POV character.
I think that when you re-read it, because you already had the entire context available to you, it was easier to work out how Inui was feeling.
So, thanks for taking the time to think about this -- it's really helpful. :) I may edit this later on, before I archive it.
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