(The sad violin music that accompanies the Harry Potter movies is really quite touching. But I prefer something with more pep. Sing the following words to the tune of the Jakers cartoon theme.)This is the story of a young wizard ( Read more... )

(Time for another original lyric ( Read more... )

You poked around in a data base
And your presence will soon be known
There's something hiding out there
It communicates by digital tone
I'll test the waters and make a trade
To obtain elusive files
I'll wade through the quagmire of the 'net
Looking for passwords and dodging guile

The pill, you may try it ( Read more... )

Best. Idea. Ever ( Read more... )

It was almost noon, when he saw the café ( Read more... )

I was nervous about my daughter’s first Junior High dance, so I accompanied her as a chaperone. She tried numerous crafty ways to prevent this. They didn’t need parents there, the dance was sold out--there would be no room for me, they had police officers there so no parents were necessary, I MIGHT EMBARRASS HER BY DANCING. My favorite was: what if ( Read more... )

Welcome to the first breakfast meeting of the all-new Supreme Court. Our new members have been approved by a slim margin, which the press reported as a landslide. You will notice that our menu has changed. Kippers have been removed in favor of bacon, and instead of feta in our omelets, we now offer processed Kraft Singles. Archer-Daniels tofu has ( Read more... )

My broad shouldered, green-eyed offspring is at this moment trying out for the end of the year school talent show. His selected piece is the Johnny Cash number, I’ve Been Everywhere. I can see why he likes this song; it has everything. It’s poetic, it’s humorous, it’s somewhat of a tongue twister, and it calls for a country-western accent ( Read more... )

Little Miss Priss meets 3 hot Calvinist guys!

It's good to know that other people are out there writing ludicrous lyrics.

livejournal is your kind of place ( Read more... )