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My anxiety
Today has me a little on edge and revisiting old ghosts and my own faults. A guy that I met a year ago online is supposed to come to visit next week. This will be the second time. We have been friends and that is all I have ever said we would be but sometimes I feel he is thinking more. He is not my type and I have always been honest about my ( Read more... ) -
WHO AM I?
A question I am having to contemplate as I come into this time in my life that I am forcing myself to become my own person. Do I have a body and mind by choice or does consciousness come from cells already built and predefined within me?
Should I or can I believe what seems the norm or the logical belief? Can I truly think for myself and trust my ( Read more... ) -
Long while
Sigh....I noticed its been like 3 months since I last wrote. Not that I haven't wanted to, thought about it but just couldn't seem to articulate the right words or maybe just because I couldn't quite figure out what exactly was in my head? I do know that I have always had a hard time putting the good times in my life into words. These past few ( Read more... ) -
Just go away already
Depression freakin' sucks. Its going on a two week stretch this time. I am behind in schoolwork and can't seem to get back on that horse. I want to, I love my work, I do enjoy it even when it becomes an interruption with other things I want to do and an obligation. I have a new job on the horizon and life is still moving forward even at its slow ( Read more... ) -
Night terrors
They have started to become more frequent again. Its been almost 7 years since I had the last episode but it doesn't surprise me to see them reoccur again.
Stress, lack of sleep, depression, anxiety and being stuck in my own head with no one to talk to......all the ingredients to start the bubbling brew.
What are they? They are different from ( Read more... ) -
Trust nothing, question everything
What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing?
Is it all to fast? Is it right? Is it wrong? Is it what I need or is the worst thing that could happen right now? So many balls rolling at once, I do not know which one I should focus on? I want to tell everyone and yet tell no one. I feel I should have a second opinion and then I realize in my own ( Read more... ) -
Where to go from here?
The down side to starting your life over is when you have to look at what you have to work with. I never thought anything could be so depressing then what I had already endured in my life.....until I had to look at myself. I feel like I threw my life away and now I have to start from scratch.
It was exciting at first, trying to explore my ( Read more... ) -
Progression is not always moving forward
I feel so much like I am pedaling backwards and getting nowhere with school.
I started out in one online school with a graduation year of 2019, then due to struggles with compatibility issues in their structure I decided to try a brick and mortar school but still online due to I have nothing available local. I was good for a year and then they ( Read more... ) -
Sigh......the holidays
I am trying so hard to find the joy that I have always found in this time of year. From Halloween till New Years Day I could always find something to bring me happiness. Mostly because there seems to be many moments during this time that I can concentrate on others instead of myself. I have found that I get great joy in making others happy and even ( Read more... )
