Nectarine Sunset 3/14
Title: Nectarine Sunset
Pairing: Eunhae
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, Fluff, Romance.
Summary: Hyukjae has never had an easy life. He has been sheltered, living the only way he knows how. A simple meeting with a cheerful young man named Donghae will change every feeling Hyukjae has ever had.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Epilogue |
-
Donghae pokes his hand through a cage, letting a puppy lick his finger. “You're being adopted today,” he says, smiling at the puppy and sighing to himself.
“Boy troubles?” Sooyoung asks, zooming around the room in her swivel chair.
“A little,” Donghae responds, sitting in his own chair.
“Talk to me,” Sooyoung says, stopping in front of Donghae.
Donghae slumps in his chair a little.
“I really like him... a lot, so much...” he says, “but he's been so sheltered his whole life, apparently, and it's tough for him to deal with all of this. I want to help him but I don't know how.”
“I think you're doing a pretty good job of helping him already,” Sooyoung says. “All you have to do is make him comfortable and he looked pretty comfortable with you when he was here. I don't think he even notices that he's coming out of his shell but he is.”
“Really?” Donghae asks.
“Of course,” Sooyoung says. ”You're thinking too much. He probably feels like he's bothering you with his disability; that would explain him acting uncomfortable. You just have to show him that you're not going anywhere because of it.”
Donghae thinks about her words. She's right. If Donghae was the one who couldn't speak, he knows that he would feel as if he were a burden to everyone. But Donghae doesn't think of Hyukjae as a burden at all.
“So have you asked him to be your boyfriend yet?” Sooyoung asks, spinning around in her chair.
“No... should I? Wouldn't that be taking things too fast?”
“Maybe. But if you ever feel the urge to just ask him, do it. If he says yes, it might make you both feel a little more comfortable,” Sooyoung says.
“I guess so...” Donghae sighs, “We both work most weekdays. I'm not sure when he'll be free again.”
“Ask him.”
Donghae blinks a few times. That would be the simplest solution.
“It's... awkward to ask. I wanted to wait for him to text me, to make sure he's comfortable. But...” he chews on his bottom lip, “last night he was so hesitant to go out to dinner but he's the one who kissed me...”
Donghae replays the memory, the feeling of wanting to go back and kiss Hyukjae until the sun had risen. He sighs.
“Sounds to me like he just needs a little encouragement. When you see him again, tease him a little, just enough to make him break down and kiss you again,” Sooyoung suggests.
“That's so mean!” Donghae exclaims. He thinks about it for a moment. “It's a pretty good idea, though... show him that he does want it as much as I do...”
Sooyoung grins and pats Donghae's cheek.
“Exactly.”
-
It's a short work day for Hyukjae, and he finds himself wondering what time Donghae will be done with work. After an hour of fidgeting with his phone under his desk, he finally texts Donghae.
“Hey, what time do you get off work?”
“In about three hours. You?” A quick response.
“About the same. Want to meet up somewhere?”
It takes a while for the response to come this time.
“Soccer field?”
Hyukjae grins.
“Definitely.”
-
Donghae shows up a little late, just for the sake of being able to run to Hyukjae, give his most charming smile, and kiss Hyukjae's hand for forgiveness.
Hyukjae stares at him, nodding to show that he is forgiven.
“I'm looking to improve my offense. You up to play defense?” Donghae asks, still smiling, twirling the soccer ball in his hands excitedly.
Hyukjae nods and Donghae runs past him, scoring a goal unfairly before Hyukjae can even respond. Donghae only laughs at the glare he receives.
“Okay! That wasn't fair, I'm sorry!” Donghae says, moving closer and putting his hands on Hyukjae's waist.
Hyukjae looks at him curiously for a moment before darting away, running the entire length of the field and scoring a goal before Donghae can catch him. He grins as Donghae catches up to him.
“Okay,” Donghae pants, “we're even, let's play for real now.”
Hyukjae pretends to think and Donghae can tell that his nod is sarcastic. Donghae blinks a few times. Had Hyukjae already caught onto his teasing game?
Each time Donghae bites his lip or pokes his tongue out as a tease, Hyukjae only smiles and keeps playing. Donghae is trying his hardest, really, to tempt Hyukjae, but Hyukjae remains completely unchanged.
Hyukjae even seems more energetic than Donghae, easily out running him and scoring twice as many goals. Donghae whines to himself. Since when is Hyukjae in control of the situation? Donghae is supposed to be the one to tease him, watch him blush, make him give himself up completely.
Donghae frowns, panting from their last run, stopping with his hands on his hips to catch his breath. His breathing almost stops, however, when he feels a pair of arms slide around his neck from behind. He blinks at the phone suddenly in front of his face and reads the message written on its screen.
“Just because I cannot talk does not mean that I am slow, Lee Donghae.”
Donghae turns around quickly, coming face to face with an amused Hyukjae.
“I know you're not slow! I... you... I just wanted to...” Donghae stammers.
Hyukjae grins and types out another message.
“Just wanted to tease me?”
Donghae gives Hyukjae a cute frown as an innocent answer.
“You know, if you want me to kiss you, you could just ask.” Hyukjae shows Donghae the message without a hint of shyness.
“I'm not going to ask you,” Donghae says, crossing his arms stubbornly.
“Then can I ask you something?”
Donghae is too curious to say no.
“What?” he asks.
“Can I kiss you?”
Donghae stares at the words, then at Hyukjae's lips. Rather than responding, Donghae slips his arms around Hyukjae's waist and kisses him, free of hesitation, playfulness gone from each of their minds. Hyukjae's arms slide around Donghae's neck, pulling him closer, letting their lips meld together seamlessly.
Donghae pulls away, nearly breathless.
“You're my boyfriend. I'm not asking you because I refuse to let no even be an option,” he says seriously.
Hyukjae smiles so wide that his gums show and his eyes crinkle. He pulls Donghae close again, answering his statement with another kiss, a gentle nibble and tug to his bottom lip, enough to make his grip on Hyukjae's waist tighten.
Donghae pulls away again. “So that's a yes, right?”
It takes less than a second for Hyukjae to kiss Donghae again, effectively pushing away all of his doubt and making him smile.
They break away when they hear they hear someone coming. Kids, coming for practice after school. Hyukjae frowns, taking the soccer ball they had practiced with in one arm and using his free hand to hold Donghae's, dragging him away from the soccer field.
“Hyukjae? Where are we going?” Donghae asks, letting himself be dragged.
Hyukjae pulls him until they're out of sight, hidden behind the building nearby that is commonly used as a shower and locker room for soccer players. Hyukjae lets the soccer ball fall and presses Donghae against the wall, kissing him again.
Donghae laughs, wrapping his arms around Hyukjae fully to pull him closer. Hyukjae smiles at the vibrating laugh against his lips and lets Donghae roll their bodies until Hyukjae is the one against the wall.
“Boyfriend. Mine.” Donghae says cutely, nuzzling Hyukjae's nose and nibbling on his lower lip.
Donghae watches Hyukjae's cheeks turn the slightest bit pink at the words and he smiles.
“Hmmm. Maybe we can take a walk, grab something to eat, and make our way to your house for an early dinner?” Donghae asks, stealing kisses in between words.
Hyukjae only nods, too busy returning kisses to realize what Donghae had even said.
-
A boyfriend. What is a boyfriend? What do you do with a boyfriend? Are there rules? Guidelines?
Hyukjae would normally have a million questions and he would search for the answers immediately. He always has questions when an unexpected situation presents itself. This time, however, he had not hesitated for a second to let questions like this fill his mind. He had kissed Donghae, telling him “yes, I'll be yours” with actions rather than words.
It's three weeks later and Hyukjae still doesn't have questions. With Donghae, there are no questions to ask. A boyfriend is whatever they want it to be. They make their own rules, ignoring the guidelines set for relationships in the past.
Stretched out comfortably on his living room floor, Hyukjae looks up, watching the clouds, letting his body soak up the sun's warmth. He is squinting a little, examining a cloud that looks somewhat like a seagull with outstretched wings, when Donghae's face interrupts his sight. He smiles. Right now a boyfriend is someone who doesn't like it when the clouds are getting more attention than him.
“Hyukjae, don't fall asleep looking at the clouds. They'll carry you away from me and I'll have to learn to fly so I can save you,” Donghae says.
Hyukjae wants to laugh at the strange words. He leans up to kiss Donghae's nose, a reassurance that his feet will remain on the ground.
Sometimes it takes Donghae a couple of tries to guess what Hyukjae is thinking, but he always manages to figure it out quickly. Hyukjae is good at giving hints, making readable expressions and easily describing with his hands. He's been doing it his whole life but no one has ever been able to read him as well as Donghae.
Hyukjae rolls until he and Donghae are facing each other. He smiles, crawling until he's behind his boyfriend, nuzzling his shoulder and tracing patterns of wings on his back. He can hear a smile in Donghae's breathing.
“Are you giving me wings, Hyukjae? So I can fly to you when you're in the clouds?” Donghae asks, almost a whisper.
“I'm not going anywhere.” Hyukjae traces the words slowly across Donghae's back.
Donghae turns to face Hyukjae, entwining their fingers, watching them fit together against the sun-heated floor.
“Promise?” He asks, nudging his face a little closer to Hyukjae's.
Before Hyukjae can even finish his nod, Donghae is kissing him. But Hyukjae doesn't mind. Donghae's lips have him addicted to Donghae's kisses.
Hyukjae pulls away because he knows that if he doesn't, their lips will stay attached for hours. He points at his watch, letting Donghae know that it's time for him to get to work. Donghae sits up obediently, watching Hyukjae as he gathers his sketchpad and several pencils. Hyukjae leans down, pecking Donghae's lips just because he can't resist before laying on his stomach in front of his sketchpad.
Hyukjae only draws one line before he hears Donghae's phone ring and he jerks at the sudden sound.
“Oh great,” Donghae sighs after reading the text, “someone dropped off an entire litter of puppies at the shelter. I gotta go.”
Hyukjae frowns at the news but nods, sitting up to give Donghae a lingering goodbye kiss and an encouraging smile.
-
Donghae drags his feet for the entire duration of his walk to the animal shelter. Sure, he wants to help out defenseless and adorable puppies, but he would much rather be watching Hyukjae sketch his ideas onto paper.
He had watched Hyukjae work once before. Hyukjae had been hesitant, maybe a little shy, never having experienced a person watching him while he sketched. But he let Donghae watch him, and Donghae's eyes didn't leave him for a second. Donghae might as well have been drooling in awe on the floor, watching Hyukjae's concentrated face, his long fingers making flawless, connecting lines. Hyukjae had glanced at him a few times, making both of them smile, before he became serious again, pushing his glasses back onto his nose, focusing on his art. And Donghae was amazed, wanting to take Hyukjae's hand and kiss every inch of each of his fingers.
He realized, then, that he was obsessed with how pretty Hyukjae's hands were. Pale and soft in the sunlight, gently gripping a pencil, gracefully drifting across paper to make something Donghae couldn't even begin to imagine.
He sighs at the memory. Hyukjae is wonderful. Handsome, smart, talented, kind, understanding, and an amazing kisser. He wonders how he could have found someone so amazing. Hyukjae had asked him that once, too.
“Donghae, how could someone as amazing as you want to be with someone who can't even speak?”
The question had hurt Donghae. Hyukjae really did see himself as a burden to others and Donghae wanted nothing more in that moment than to take every ounce of doubt away from Hyukjae's mind. He had tried, with an incredibly passionate kiss that made Hyukjae practically crumble in his arms. He felt triumphant after that, seeing a blushing Hyukjae with ruffled hair and crooked glasses. He had taken a picture that he had to run away to keep.
Donghae pulls out his phone and looks at the picture, chuckling to himself. So many sweet memories in the course of only a few weeks. He can't remember a time in his life when he'd been happier.
“Someone is in a good mood.”
Donghae looks up to see Sooyoung looking at him suspiciously. He blinks, realizing he is already in the shelter.
“Uh... well. Yeah. I'm in a really good mood, actually. It'd be even better if I was still with my boyfriend rather than here,” he grumbles.
Sooyoung eyes him, moving closer.
“Your face is a little flushed. Did you two...” she trails off, making a crude gesture with her hands.
“What?!” Donghae yells. “No! You're disgusting!” He quickly brushes past her, looking for anything to distract him from the images in his head.
“Wow. That sure got you worked up. I guess you guys haven't even thought about that, have you?” She asks, pointing him in the direction of the box of puppies on the floor.
Donghae ignores her, kneeling down to check the puppies for fleas. He feels a tap on his shoulder and sighs.
“No. We haven't thought about it. I don't... we're not going to,” he says, holding a puppy up to check its gender.
“Never?” Sooyoung asks, walking off to prepare the cages.
“Well... not never...” he frowns, thinking, “he's really important to me. I'm not going to rush anything. I haven't even thought about it. But if I needed to, I'd wait for years.”
“Years?!” Sooyoung almost yells, rushing back to stare at him. “You are not a normal man.”
“Isn't that a good thing?” Donghae says with a crooked frown. “Besides, don't some people wait until marriage to do that sort of thing?
“You'd wait until marriage for him?”
“Of course.”
“Even though you didn't in the past?”
Donghae stops. He puts the puppy in his arms down and stands up, looking at Sooyoung.
“I made a mistake back then...” he says, “I'm not going to do it again.”
Sooyoung frowns. “Hey, I didn't mean to.... I'm sorry.”
Donghae shrugs it off and smiles. “It's fine.” He blinks. “I have to tell Hyukjae about that eventually, don't I?”
Sooyoung gives him a sympathetic look and nods.
“Maybe not right away, but eventually you should tell him. When you're both ready.”
Donghae sighs and nods. “I'll think about it. Let's just get these puppies settled in for now.”
Sooyoung leaves to prepare the cages again and Donghae thinks. He had been in high school when he lost his virginity. He had been pressured into it by his friends. He did it because they told him he had to. Now he regards it as the biggest mistake of his life.
Not with Hyukjae. Nothing will be rushed. Donghae doesn't want to make another mistake. Especially when he feels himself caring for Hyukjae more than he's ever cared for anyone in his life.
-
People don't usually bully Hyukjae at work. He doesn't really like using the word bullying since it seems like it should only be used to describe a child's behavior but hey, sometimes adults act like children.
No one is particularly mean to Hyukjae but no one is nice to him either. They simply ignore him. When they do talk to him, usually for a matter of business, they act awkward, as if just being in Hyukjae's presence makes them uncomfortable.
Today, however, a fellow employee named Cho Kyuhyun catches Hyukjae daydreaming at his desk.
“Hey, Hyukjae, you thinking about someone special?” Kyuhyun teases out of boredom.
Hyukjae blinks, startled, and then he smiles, shaking his head at the question.
“Wait... whoa, you were, weren't you? You have a girlfriend?” Kyuhyun asks, suddenly interested.
Hyukjae blinks and shakes his head.
“Aw, come on, you can tell me,” Kyuhyun says, pulling up a chair to sit next to Hyukjae at his desk.
Hyukjae hesitates. He bites his lip, taking his phone from his pocket and pulling up a picture of Donghae and himself smiling together. He turns, showing the phone to Kyuhyun.
“Whoa, so you can't talk and you're gay? Are you trying to get people to avoid you?”
Hyukjae stares at Kyuhyun, the man who he had seen around the firm, a hard worker who he generally thought was a good guy.
Kyuhyun's eyes widen.
“Oh... wow that was... I'm sorry. I'm an asshole. It's in my nature to say things like that,” he explains.
Hyukjae snaps his phone shut and turns away, waiting for Kyuhyun to leave. Kyuhyun does leave, after apologizing again, and Hyukjae sits at his desk, staring at his phone in his lap.
He had never thought about what kind of effect being with a man would have on his life. He already doesn't have any friends. Being gay isn't going to make that part of his life easier because being gay isn't acceptable in the eyes of many. And his family... well, they don't really matter.
But Donghae makes Hyukjae happy. What's so wrong about being with someone who makes you happy? Nothing. Nothing is wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with being happy, Hyukjae tells himself.
As soon as Hyukjae is off from work, he texts Donghae, asking if they can meet up and talk. Then he waits outside on his doorstep, staring at his laptop, typing out the incident that had happened with Kyuhyun.
“Hey, is something wrong?” Donghae asks as he sits, slightly panting from rushing to Hyukjae's.
Hyukjae frowns and leans his head on Donghae's shoulder, putting the laptop in his boyfriend's lap. Donghae catches his breath as he reads, then he frowns.
“Hyukjae... don't worry about people like that, okay? I know it hurts to hear those things but you have to ignore it,” Donghae says, wrapping his arm around Hyukjae's shoulder.
Hyukjae nods, leaning further into Donghae, letting his mind wander.
“What are your parents like?” He types.
“Parents?” Donghae blinks and smiles. “They're great. I told them I liked guys when I was sixteen. At first they didn't accept it... mostly because they wanted grandchildren. But since I have an older brother that's very interested in girls, they didn't mind. My brother actually got married recently so I guess babies are the next step for him.”
Hyukjae smiles, watching Donghae, knowing by the look on his face that he adores his family.
“What about your parents?” Donghae asks, turning his smile to Hyukjae.
Hyukjae's smile falters. Donghae notices.
“You don't have to tell me if-”
Hyukjae shakes his head and turns to his keyboard.
“They were upset that the only child they had was born without the ability to talk and they weren't afraid to show it.”
“Show it?” Donghae asks softly, keeping Hyukjae held close.
“I heard straight from their mouths that they wished I hadn't been born.”
Donghae reaches over and closes the laptop before Hyukjae can type more, putting it to the side and pulling Hyukjae into his arms.
“You were born and you've grown up to be talented and you're amazing and I want you and that's all I want you to think about,” Donghae says.
Hyukjae smiles, wrapping his arms around Donghae's waist and nodding. It feels good to be wanted.
-
The next day is a Friday and it unexpectedly rains.
Hyukjae and Donghae had planned on playing soccer for a while before cleaning up and heading out to see a movie. Plans changed, however, when a heavy downpour began just as they had started to play soccer.
Donghae groans, taking Hyukjae's hand and running with him. His apartment is much closer than Hyukjae's house and although he is not quite ready for Hyukjae to see it, he pulls him in its direction.
They reach it in only a few minutes, running up a short flight of stairs on the side of the building to reach his door. Donghae lets go of Hyukjae's hand to fish out his keys before unlocking the door and pulling Hyukjae inside. They're both panting from the run and Donghae laughs breathlessly as he turns the lights on.
“Sorry, I didn't even tell you where we were going,” Donghae says. “This is my place.”
He turns to Hyukjae, watching the eyes scanning his living space. It's small, definitely not as clean as Hyukjae's house with a few pieces of clothing scattered about on furniture and floor. The living room is quite large, featuring a rather bright red couch with two mismatched blue armchairs and a glass coffee table set up in front of Donghae's television. All of his walls are some shade of blue, the color in the living room stretching into his bedroom, separated by nothing but empty space. It is an apartment meant for one so Donghae doesn't mind not having a door on his bedroom. He wishes he did now, however, as Hyukjae peeks into his room, spying his unmade bed.
Donghae clears his throat and heads through his bedroom and into the connecting bathroom, grabbing two towels and returning to Hyukjae. He freezes for a moment, finally seeing Hyukjae in his current state.
Soaked, dark hair plastered to his forehead, droplets of water sliding down his cheeks, neck, arms, onto the floor that Donghae can't seem to care about at the moment. He takes a step forward, dabbing Hyukjae's cheek with a towel, brushing the wet locks of hair away from his forehead.
Hyukjae looks at him with eyes unreadable, an expression Donghae hasn't seen. He looks away to drape the towel over Hyukjae's head, slowly massaging the hair underneath the towel, drying it.
Hyukjae's eyes close for a moment, his breaths deepening. Donghae stops, removing his hands but leaving the towel, and Hyukjae's eyes open with an intensified expression.
“What are you thinking?” Donghae whispers, so close to Hyukjae that he can smell the rain on his skin.
Hyukjae stares at him, eyes moving to his lips and then back up again. He pulls out his phone, typing out a message.
“There's something about being completely soaked in my boyfriend's apartment for the first time that's kind of a turn on...”
Donghae looks from the message to Hyukjae's eyes. That look. Turned on? Thinking now, Donghae realizes that bringing his very wet and gorgeous boyfriend into his apartment really is a turn on. His heart rate seems to be excited at the idea.
Hyukjae takes a step forward, placing his hand on Donghae's chest, gently pushing him back. Donghae's feet obey, slowly walking backwards, his gaze still locked with Hyukjae's.
They're in the bedroom now. At least Donghae thinks they are but his mind isn't very clear, since he's watching Hyukjae bite his lip in a way that makes rational thoughts evacuate the vicinity of his brain. He doesn't complain when the only part of his brain that's functioning is the one that's telling him to kiss Hyukjae until neither of them can breathe.
“Hyukjae, we'll both get sick if we don't change into dry clothes.”
What part of his brain did that come from? Donghae mentally curses himself for the dry words, looking away from Hyukjae's eyes.
Hyukjae blinks at him before stepping away and nodding, using the towel on his head to dry himself off.
Donghae manages to pull himself together, digging through his clothes for a clean t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants for Hyukjae.
“These should fit you,” Donghae says, handing the clothes to Hyukjae. The bathroom is right there... so... you can change.”
Hyukjae nods again and quickly makes his way into the bathroom, shutting the door.
Donghae picks up a pillow just to punch it then quickly changes his clothes before Hyukjae comes out. He sighs, sitting on the edge of his bed, facing the bathroom door, waiting, hoping that nothing will be awkward.
He looks up when the door opens, nearly dropping his jaw. He never would have expected that Hyukjae would look a million times better in his clothes, with partially dry and ruffled hair, than he had when he was dripping with rain.
The towel is still around Hyukjae's neck and he's fiddling awkwardly with the ends of it, giving Donghae a glance that asks “how do I look?”
Then Donghae is on his feet, practically running to Hyukjae, cupping his cheek, holding the back of his neck, and kissing him with enough hunger to make both of them gasp against each other's lips.
Donghae is pulling and Hyukjae is pushing until they're falling against the bed, Donghae rolling until they're side by side. Hyukjae's head turns slightly, his teeth gently biting Donghae's upper lip.
Donghae's lips part slightly and Hyukjae's tongue pushes past them, slowly sliding into Donghae's mouth, making him groan softly. It's wet, hot, their tongues sliding against each other, tasting, warm breaths mingling.
Hyukjae's hand makes its way down Donghae's side, slowly sliding underneath, his fingers tracing along warm skin.
Donghae pulls away. He regrets it immediately, feeling the hand against his side freeze, seeing Hyukjae's flushed face and confused eyes, hearing his soft breaths pushing past deliciously parted lips.
“I... we... I don't want to rush... us,” Donghae manages to say.
Hyukjae catches his breath and takes Donghae's face in his hands, caressing his cheeks, trying to convey something through only his expression.
Donghae stares, analyzing, reading Hyukjae's eyes as best as he can. There's a very clear “please don't make me take out my phone right now” look in his eyes, mixed with something else. Something telling him “I don't want to go all of the way but...” Donghae blinks.
“You want us to go a little further but... not too far? Am I right?” Donghae asks, nudging his nose against Hyukjae's, hoping the cute gesture will save him if he's wrong.
Hyukjae smiles softly, nudging back and giving Donghae a soft kiss, lingering for a moment before pulling away, looking into Donghae's eyes. His hand starts moving again, slowly caressing Donghae's side, the bare skin underneath his shirt.
Donghae shivers, feeling Hyukjae's hand move along his skin, Hyukjae's eyes telling him to relax. He smiles to himself, wondering how someone he had thought was so cute and innocent was so in control over him. Maybe he had misjudged Hyukjae. Hyukjae is cute and innocent, but he is also an incredibly gorgeous man, in his bed, silently asking to be touched, for Donghae to show him what it feels like to be wanted.
Donghae sits up, smiling at the frown he gets from Hyukjae. He holds his arms up, waiting for Hyukjae to take the hint.
Hyukjae takes the hint quickly, grinning and kneeling on the bed, slowly lifting Donghae's shirt over his head, letting it fall to the floor. Hyukjae lets his eyes roam, admiring Donghae's body before he leans down, pressing a soft kiss in the center of Donghae's chest.
Donghae tries his hardest not to blush but he can't control it. When Hyukjae pulls away, Donghae easily slips his hands under Hyukjae's shirt, freeing Hyukjae of the restraining cloth.
Hyukjae bites his lip and looks away, hiding his smile under Donghae's appreciative stare.
Donghae pulls them both down until they're laying side by side again, looking at each other, letting their hands trace invisible patterns along smooth skin. Donghae runs a finger down Hyukjae's spine, wishing he could place a kiss over every inch of Hyukjae's body and claim it as his own.
Hyukjae's hand stops at a small scar on Donghae's shoulder and he looks to him for an explanation.
“I fell out of a tree when I was little... my shoulder hit a pretty sharp rock...” he says, smiling at Hyukjae's sympathetic look.
Hyukjae kisses the scar softly, nuzzling it with his nose before kissing along Donghae's shoulder to his neck. He stops, gently biting at a soft patch of Donghae's skin before sucking on it experimentally, continuing when he feels Donghae's throat rumble with a delighted moan.
Donghae blinks when Hyukjae pulls away with a shy gaze directed at Donghae's neck. He grins. Hyukjae's first experience with hickeys. He tackles Hyukjae, nuzzling his neck before biting and sucking gently to leave his mark on Hyukjae's skin.
Hyukjae is blushing hard and biting his own thumb when Donghae pulls away. Donghae briefly wonders what Hyukjae's moan would sound like.
They roll around in Donghae's bed for a while, kissing, touching, tasting, never crossing forbidden boundaries. It's sort of like a freestyle dance, Donghae thinks, learning about your partner's body, their dislikes, the way they move, how to adjust until there's a perfectly comfortable fit. But it's a dance that doesn't get past the simple steps. Just a practice, a few steps forward.
It's still raining, and it's the only sound that can be heard inside of Donghae's bedroom. Hyukjae is lying on his stomach, eyes closed, and Donghae is watching him, letting his fingers trail down the smooth skin of Hyukjae's back. It's perfect, having Hyukjae there, nearly asleep in his bed, both of them trying not to drift off from the sound of the rain.
Hyukjae's eyes open slowly, a silent question lingering in them.
“It's still raining really hard. Neither of us has to work tomorrow...” Donghae whispers, pressing his forehead against Hyukjae's. “You don't have to go... so stay.”
Hyukjae presses a kiss to Donghae's lips and smiles sleepily, moving into Donghae's warmth, curling against him. Donghae smiles, wrapping his arms around Hyukjae, holding him close.
And so Hyukjae stays with Donghae, in his arms, letting the pouring rain wash away any thoughts of staying awake.
-
Hyukjae wakes up to a handsome sleeping face in front of his and he smiles. Donghae looks warm and comfortable, sun drifting in through the window to brighten his skin.
Sun? Hyukjae sits up, putting on the shirt Donghae had given him last night, and walking to the window. Everything outside is wet, some rain droplets sliding down the window. It must have rained a lot, he thinks.
He frowns a little at the sun. Everything is covered in rain and there are rain clouds lingering in the sky but the sun is out as well. He hates it when the weather mixes this way, indecisive, unsure if it wants to be sunny or cloudy.
So he closes the blinds and nods in approval to himself before quietly making his way to Donghae's kitchen.
Breakfast. He opens the fridge, looks through the cupboards. Microwaveable dinners, some yogurt, sports drinks, rice, broccoli, eggs, popcorn, assorted cereals and potato chips. Not much to work with. He sighs, putting enough together to make an omelet with rice and broccoli.
It will be bland for sure, but probably better than Donghae eating a microwaved breakfast. He manages to find a couple of spices that Donghae probably doesn't know he has along with some salt and pepper.
He cooks everything separately before he mixes the broccoli and rice and wraps it in the egg. He frowns. It's not pretty and it probably doesn't taste good.
Just as he turns the stove off and situates the breakfast on a plate, a pair of arms slip around his waist and warm lips brush by his ear.
“This is ideal. Waking up to a handsome man cooking breakfast in my apartment.”
Hyukjae smiles, turning around to wrap his arms around Donghae's neck and greet him with a kiss.
“Good morning,” he mouths against Donghae's lips, feeling a strange, excited flutter in his heart.
“Good morning,” Donghae mouths back with a grin that's contagious. “What's for breakfast?” He asks, stealing a few kisses from Hyukjae.
Hyukjae barely manages to pull himself away. He frowns at the plate, holding it up and letting his expression show Donghae that it might taste awful.
“I'm surprised you managed to cook anything at all with the things I have in this kitchen,” Donghae says, sniffing the food. “It smells good, it can't possibly taste bad.”
Hyukjae pats around for his phone before realizing he doesn't even have pockets. He holds up a finger to let Donghae know he'll be right back before he makes his way back into Donghae's room, looking around for his phone.
He finds Donghae's phone on the floor and he picks it up, smiling when he sees that Donghae's phone wallpaper is a picture of him. He sets the phone down where he found it and picks up his own, typing a message on his way back to the kitchen.
“I didn't have much to work with and I'm not the greatest cook so I'm sorry if it's terrible.”
He looks up to show Donghae the message and finds himself staring at an empty plate and a Donghae with full cheeks.
“It was really good,” the Donghae with full cheeks says before swallowing and becoming regular-cheeked Donghae, “or I was just really hungry...”
There's no food left for Hyukjae to taste, no way to tell if Donghae is lying. Hyukjae narrows his eyes, walking straight to Donghae and kissing him. Donghae makes a startled noise before kissing back, letting his hands rest on Hyukjae's waist.
Hyukjae slips his tongue into Donghae's mouth, tasting, searching, sucking on Donghae's tongue until he's satisfied. He pulls away, rubbing his lips together, thinking. Minty. Donghae must have brushed his teeth. Broccoli, bland eggs. Hyukjae sighs.
“You're a liar. It was really bland.” He types, frowning at Donghae in a cute manner, far too innocent for what his tongue had just been doing.
Donghae takes the phone from Hyukjae's hand and practically throws it.
“I think you need a better taste,” he says far too seriously, pushing Hyukjae against the counter and kissing him again.
Hyukjae's hands fumble until he can pull himself onto the counter without breaking his lips from Donghae's. His hands then find their way into Donghae's already messy hair, fingers running through it, tangling in it.
Donghae's hands are on Hyukjae's thighs, squeezing, fingers practically burning through the cloth of his pants, producing a silent moan that gets stuck in Hyukjae's throat and turns into a gasp before it leaves his lips.
Donghae pulls away at the gasp, quickly removing his hands from Hyukjae's thighs.
“D-did I do something wrong?” He asks, head tilted, still panting against Hyukjae's lips.
Hyukjae shakes his head, frowning because his phone is somewhere on the floor. He looks at the concern in Donghae's eyes and smiles a little before pecking his lips softly and leaning his head against Donghae's shoulder, closing his eyes.
Donghae seems to take the hint, that Hyukjae needs a moment to think, so he rubs Hyukjae's back soothingly, trying to help him relax.
Hyukjae hugs Donghae, wrapping his arms and legs around the man, smiling because he feels a little bit like a koala. He doesn't know how to deal with all of these feelings at once. He likes Donghae, thinks about him constantly, makes himself blush just by thinking about his kisses, and those feelings are easy to adjust to. Seeing Donghae wet, with his shirt off, with a hungry, lustful look in his eyes... those feelings are hard to understand. Hyukjae doesn't think he's ready to understand them.
“Can we sit on the couch and talk?” Donghae asks softly.
Hyukjae nods, slipping off of the counter and grabbing his phone before following Donghae to sit next to him, facing him on the bright red and surprisingly comfortable couch.
“I want to talk about... well...” Donghae starts, continuing when Hyukjae squeezes his hand in encouragement, “I don't want us to rush things. It's really tempting to, I think we both feel that, but... the truth is that I rushed into something in the past and I don't want to put either of us through that.”
Hyukjae searches Donghae's face. Contemplative, serious, a little hurt. He moves closer, squeezing Donghae's hand tighter, asking him to open up just a little more. And Donghae looks at him, knowing what he's asking for.
“I was in high school and it was well-known that I was gay, I didn't hide it. These people, they called themselves my friends and I believed them, they told me how I had to lose my virginity or else I'd be a loser forever. I guess I was kind of desperate, seeing that all of them were so popular and actually listening to them.... They set me up with a guy, a year older than me and... he was really nice, at first. We dated normally and I really liked him and I thought he liked me. We... had sex and... he didn't talk to me for a week... then I saw him with some girl, just like that. Needless to say, I didn't get more popular. No one even looked at me after that. They didn't even make fun of me, just made me feel invisible...”
The room is silent for a while, Hyukjae taking in Donghae's words, his feelings. There's so much he wants to say, to comfort Donghae, to share his thoughts, but those thoughts are too scattered for him to put in words.
“I know that this is different from that,” Donghae says, “that we're different. It was something stupid from high school and I know it shouldn't matter. But I promised myself that I'd never rush into anything else ever again. I especially don't want to rush with you because you're... perfect.” Hyukjae's breath catches for a moment at the sincerity, the adoration in Donghae's compliment. “I wasn't sure how to tell you any of this or how you'd feel but... I had to let you know...”
Hyukjae cups Donghae's cheek and gives him a warm smile before reaching for his phone.
“We both have pasts. When the time comes, we'll talk about them. I'm sorry that this happened to you... but it doesn't change the way I feel about you. And I want to take thing slow, too... so let's not rush anything. We'll do whatever we're comfortable with and soon your mind will be filled with nothing but me so you won't think of high school anymore.”
Donghae laughs at the last sentence before cuddle-wrestling Hyukjae until they're both lying flat on the couch, Donghae's cheek against Hyukjae's chest, Hyukjae's hand playing with Donghae's hair.
“By the way, my mind is already filled with nothing but you,” Donghae whispers after several minutes of silence.
Hyukjae smiles, ruffling Donghae's hair affectionately and feeling Donghae's arms tighten around him. His heart is content as he simply lies on the couch with Donghae. His mind is at ease because his world is in his arms, because he finally feels wanted.
-
Pairing: Eunhae
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, Fluff, Romance.
Summary: Hyukjae has never had an easy life. He has been sheltered, living the only way he knows how. A simple meeting with a cheerful young man named Donghae will change every feeling Hyukjae has ever had.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Epilogue |
-
Donghae pokes his hand through a cage, letting a puppy lick his finger. “You're being adopted today,” he says, smiling at the puppy and sighing to himself.
“Boy troubles?” Sooyoung asks, zooming around the room in her swivel chair.
“A little,” Donghae responds, sitting in his own chair.
“Talk to me,” Sooyoung says, stopping in front of Donghae.
Donghae slumps in his chair a little.
“I really like him... a lot, so much...” he says, “but he's been so sheltered his whole life, apparently, and it's tough for him to deal with all of this. I want to help him but I don't know how.”
“I think you're doing a pretty good job of helping him already,” Sooyoung says. “All you have to do is make him comfortable and he looked pretty comfortable with you when he was here. I don't think he even notices that he's coming out of his shell but he is.”
“Really?” Donghae asks.
“Of course,” Sooyoung says. ”You're thinking too much. He probably feels like he's bothering you with his disability; that would explain him acting uncomfortable. You just have to show him that you're not going anywhere because of it.”
Donghae thinks about her words. She's right. If Donghae was the one who couldn't speak, he knows that he would feel as if he were a burden to everyone. But Donghae doesn't think of Hyukjae as a burden at all.
“So have you asked him to be your boyfriend yet?” Sooyoung asks, spinning around in her chair.
“No... should I? Wouldn't that be taking things too fast?”
“Maybe. But if you ever feel the urge to just ask him, do it. If he says yes, it might make you both feel a little more comfortable,” Sooyoung says.
“I guess so...” Donghae sighs, “We both work most weekdays. I'm not sure when he'll be free again.”
“Ask him.”
Donghae blinks a few times. That would be the simplest solution.
“It's... awkward to ask. I wanted to wait for him to text me, to make sure he's comfortable. But...” he chews on his bottom lip, “last night he was so hesitant to go out to dinner but he's the one who kissed me...”
Donghae replays the memory, the feeling of wanting to go back and kiss Hyukjae until the sun had risen. He sighs.
“Sounds to me like he just needs a little encouragement. When you see him again, tease him a little, just enough to make him break down and kiss you again,” Sooyoung suggests.
“That's so mean!” Donghae exclaims. He thinks about it for a moment. “It's a pretty good idea, though... show him that he does want it as much as I do...”
Sooyoung grins and pats Donghae's cheek.
“Exactly.”
-
It's a short work day for Hyukjae, and he finds himself wondering what time Donghae will be done with work. After an hour of fidgeting with his phone under his desk, he finally texts Donghae.
“Hey, what time do you get off work?”
“In about three hours. You?” A quick response.
“About the same. Want to meet up somewhere?”
It takes a while for the response to come this time.
“Soccer field?”
Hyukjae grins.
“Definitely.”
-
Donghae shows up a little late, just for the sake of being able to run to Hyukjae, give his most charming smile, and kiss Hyukjae's hand for forgiveness.
Hyukjae stares at him, nodding to show that he is forgiven.
“I'm looking to improve my offense. You up to play defense?” Donghae asks, still smiling, twirling the soccer ball in his hands excitedly.
Hyukjae nods and Donghae runs past him, scoring a goal unfairly before Hyukjae can even respond. Donghae only laughs at the glare he receives.
“Okay! That wasn't fair, I'm sorry!” Donghae says, moving closer and putting his hands on Hyukjae's waist.
Hyukjae looks at him curiously for a moment before darting away, running the entire length of the field and scoring a goal before Donghae can catch him. He grins as Donghae catches up to him.
“Okay,” Donghae pants, “we're even, let's play for real now.”
Hyukjae pretends to think and Donghae can tell that his nod is sarcastic. Donghae blinks a few times. Had Hyukjae already caught onto his teasing game?
Each time Donghae bites his lip or pokes his tongue out as a tease, Hyukjae only smiles and keeps playing. Donghae is trying his hardest, really, to tempt Hyukjae, but Hyukjae remains completely unchanged.
Hyukjae even seems more energetic than Donghae, easily out running him and scoring twice as many goals. Donghae whines to himself. Since when is Hyukjae in control of the situation? Donghae is supposed to be the one to tease him, watch him blush, make him give himself up completely.
Donghae frowns, panting from their last run, stopping with his hands on his hips to catch his breath. His breathing almost stops, however, when he feels a pair of arms slide around his neck from behind. He blinks at the phone suddenly in front of his face and reads the message written on its screen.
“Just because I cannot talk does not mean that I am slow, Lee Donghae.”
Donghae turns around quickly, coming face to face with an amused Hyukjae.
“I know you're not slow! I... you... I just wanted to...” Donghae stammers.
Hyukjae grins and types out another message.
“Just wanted to tease me?”
Donghae gives Hyukjae a cute frown as an innocent answer.
“You know, if you want me to kiss you, you could just ask.” Hyukjae shows Donghae the message without a hint of shyness.
“I'm not going to ask you,” Donghae says, crossing his arms stubbornly.
“Then can I ask you something?”
Donghae is too curious to say no.
“What?” he asks.
“Can I kiss you?”
Donghae stares at the words, then at Hyukjae's lips. Rather than responding, Donghae slips his arms around Hyukjae's waist and kisses him, free of hesitation, playfulness gone from each of their minds. Hyukjae's arms slide around Donghae's neck, pulling him closer, letting their lips meld together seamlessly.
Donghae pulls away, nearly breathless.
“You're my boyfriend. I'm not asking you because I refuse to let no even be an option,” he says seriously.
Hyukjae smiles so wide that his gums show and his eyes crinkle. He pulls Donghae close again, answering his statement with another kiss, a gentle nibble and tug to his bottom lip, enough to make his grip on Hyukjae's waist tighten.
Donghae pulls away again. “So that's a yes, right?”
It takes less than a second for Hyukjae to kiss Donghae again, effectively pushing away all of his doubt and making him smile.
They break away when they hear they hear someone coming. Kids, coming for practice after school. Hyukjae frowns, taking the soccer ball they had practiced with in one arm and using his free hand to hold Donghae's, dragging him away from the soccer field.
“Hyukjae? Where are we going?” Donghae asks, letting himself be dragged.
Hyukjae pulls him until they're out of sight, hidden behind the building nearby that is commonly used as a shower and locker room for soccer players. Hyukjae lets the soccer ball fall and presses Donghae against the wall, kissing him again.
Donghae laughs, wrapping his arms around Hyukjae fully to pull him closer. Hyukjae smiles at the vibrating laugh against his lips and lets Donghae roll their bodies until Hyukjae is the one against the wall.
“Boyfriend. Mine.” Donghae says cutely, nuzzling Hyukjae's nose and nibbling on his lower lip.
Donghae watches Hyukjae's cheeks turn the slightest bit pink at the words and he smiles.
“Hmmm. Maybe we can take a walk, grab something to eat, and make our way to your house for an early dinner?” Donghae asks, stealing kisses in between words.
Hyukjae only nods, too busy returning kisses to realize what Donghae had even said.
-
A boyfriend. What is a boyfriend? What do you do with a boyfriend? Are there rules? Guidelines?
Hyukjae would normally have a million questions and he would search for the answers immediately. He always has questions when an unexpected situation presents itself. This time, however, he had not hesitated for a second to let questions like this fill his mind. He had kissed Donghae, telling him “yes, I'll be yours” with actions rather than words.
It's three weeks later and Hyukjae still doesn't have questions. With Donghae, there are no questions to ask. A boyfriend is whatever they want it to be. They make their own rules, ignoring the guidelines set for relationships in the past.
Stretched out comfortably on his living room floor, Hyukjae looks up, watching the clouds, letting his body soak up the sun's warmth. He is squinting a little, examining a cloud that looks somewhat like a seagull with outstretched wings, when Donghae's face interrupts his sight. He smiles. Right now a boyfriend is someone who doesn't like it when the clouds are getting more attention than him.
“Hyukjae, don't fall asleep looking at the clouds. They'll carry you away from me and I'll have to learn to fly so I can save you,” Donghae says.
Hyukjae wants to laugh at the strange words. He leans up to kiss Donghae's nose, a reassurance that his feet will remain on the ground.
Sometimes it takes Donghae a couple of tries to guess what Hyukjae is thinking, but he always manages to figure it out quickly. Hyukjae is good at giving hints, making readable expressions and easily describing with his hands. He's been doing it his whole life but no one has ever been able to read him as well as Donghae.
Hyukjae rolls until he and Donghae are facing each other. He smiles, crawling until he's behind his boyfriend, nuzzling his shoulder and tracing patterns of wings on his back. He can hear a smile in Donghae's breathing.
“Are you giving me wings, Hyukjae? So I can fly to you when you're in the clouds?” Donghae asks, almost a whisper.
“I'm not going anywhere.” Hyukjae traces the words slowly across Donghae's back.
Donghae turns to face Hyukjae, entwining their fingers, watching them fit together against the sun-heated floor.
“Promise?” He asks, nudging his face a little closer to Hyukjae's.
Before Hyukjae can even finish his nod, Donghae is kissing him. But Hyukjae doesn't mind. Donghae's lips have him addicted to Donghae's kisses.
Hyukjae pulls away because he knows that if he doesn't, their lips will stay attached for hours. He points at his watch, letting Donghae know that it's time for him to get to work. Donghae sits up obediently, watching Hyukjae as he gathers his sketchpad and several pencils. Hyukjae leans down, pecking Donghae's lips just because he can't resist before laying on his stomach in front of his sketchpad.
Hyukjae only draws one line before he hears Donghae's phone ring and he jerks at the sudden sound.
“Oh great,” Donghae sighs after reading the text, “someone dropped off an entire litter of puppies at the shelter. I gotta go.”
Hyukjae frowns at the news but nods, sitting up to give Donghae a lingering goodbye kiss and an encouraging smile.
-
Donghae drags his feet for the entire duration of his walk to the animal shelter. Sure, he wants to help out defenseless and adorable puppies, but he would much rather be watching Hyukjae sketch his ideas onto paper.
He had watched Hyukjae work once before. Hyukjae had been hesitant, maybe a little shy, never having experienced a person watching him while he sketched. But he let Donghae watch him, and Donghae's eyes didn't leave him for a second. Donghae might as well have been drooling in awe on the floor, watching Hyukjae's concentrated face, his long fingers making flawless, connecting lines. Hyukjae had glanced at him a few times, making both of them smile, before he became serious again, pushing his glasses back onto his nose, focusing on his art. And Donghae was amazed, wanting to take Hyukjae's hand and kiss every inch of each of his fingers.
He realized, then, that he was obsessed with how pretty Hyukjae's hands were. Pale and soft in the sunlight, gently gripping a pencil, gracefully drifting across paper to make something Donghae couldn't even begin to imagine.
He sighs at the memory. Hyukjae is wonderful. Handsome, smart, talented, kind, understanding, and an amazing kisser. He wonders how he could have found someone so amazing. Hyukjae had asked him that once, too.
“Donghae, how could someone as amazing as you want to be with someone who can't even speak?”
The question had hurt Donghae. Hyukjae really did see himself as a burden to others and Donghae wanted nothing more in that moment than to take every ounce of doubt away from Hyukjae's mind. He had tried, with an incredibly passionate kiss that made Hyukjae practically crumble in his arms. He felt triumphant after that, seeing a blushing Hyukjae with ruffled hair and crooked glasses. He had taken a picture that he had to run away to keep.
Donghae pulls out his phone and looks at the picture, chuckling to himself. So many sweet memories in the course of only a few weeks. He can't remember a time in his life when he'd been happier.
“Someone is in a good mood.”
Donghae looks up to see Sooyoung looking at him suspiciously. He blinks, realizing he is already in the shelter.
“Uh... well. Yeah. I'm in a really good mood, actually. It'd be even better if I was still with my boyfriend rather than here,” he grumbles.
Sooyoung eyes him, moving closer.
“Your face is a little flushed. Did you two...” she trails off, making a crude gesture with her hands.
“What?!” Donghae yells. “No! You're disgusting!” He quickly brushes past her, looking for anything to distract him from the images in his head.
“Wow. That sure got you worked up. I guess you guys haven't even thought about that, have you?” She asks, pointing him in the direction of the box of puppies on the floor.
Donghae ignores her, kneeling down to check the puppies for fleas. He feels a tap on his shoulder and sighs.
“No. We haven't thought about it. I don't... we're not going to,” he says, holding a puppy up to check its gender.
“Never?” Sooyoung asks, walking off to prepare the cages.
“Well... not never...” he frowns, thinking, “he's really important to me. I'm not going to rush anything. I haven't even thought about it. But if I needed to, I'd wait for years.”
“Years?!” Sooyoung almost yells, rushing back to stare at him. “You are not a normal man.”
“Isn't that a good thing?” Donghae says with a crooked frown. “Besides, don't some people wait until marriage to do that sort of thing?
“You'd wait until marriage for him?”
“Of course.”
“Even though you didn't in the past?”
Donghae stops. He puts the puppy in his arms down and stands up, looking at Sooyoung.
“I made a mistake back then...” he says, “I'm not going to do it again.”
Sooyoung frowns. “Hey, I didn't mean to.... I'm sorry.”
Donghae shrugs it off and smiles. “It's fine.” He blinks. “I have to tell Hyukjae about that eventually, don't I?”
Sooyoung gives him a sympathetic look and nods.
“Maybe not right away, but eventually you should tell him. When you're both ready.”
Donghae sighs and nods. “I'll think about it. Let's just get these puppies settled in for now.”
Sooyoung leaves to prepare the cages again and Donghae thinks. He had been in high school when he lost his virginity. He had been pressured into it by his friends. He did it because they told him he had to. Now he regards it as the biggest mistake of his life.
Not with Hyukjae. Nothing will be rushed. Donghae doesn't want to make another mistake. Especially when he feels himself caring for Hyukjae more than he's ever cared for anyone in his life.
-
People don't usually bully Hyukjae at work. He doesn't really like using the word bullying since it seems like it should only be used to describe a child's behavior but hey, sometimes adults act like children.
No one is particularly mean to Hyukjae but no one is nice to him either. They simply ignore him. When they do talk to him, usually for a matter of business, they act awkward, as if just being in Hyukjae's presence makes them uncomfortable.
Today, however, a fellow employee named Cho Kyuhyun catches Hyukjae daydreaming at his desk.
“Hey, Hyukjae, you thinking about someone special?” Kyuhyun teases out of boredom.
Hyukjae blinks, startled, and then he smiles, shaking his head at the question.
“Wait... whoa, you were, weren't you? You have a girlfriend?” Kyuhyun asks, suddenly interested.
Hyukjae blinks and shakes his head.
“Aw, come on, you can tell me,” Kyuhyun says, pulling up a chair to sit next to Hyukjae at his desk.
Hyukjae hesitates. He bites his lip, taking his phone from his pocket and pulling up a picture of Donghae and himself smiling together. He turns, showing the phone to Kyuhyun.
“Whoa, so you can't talk and you're gay? Are you trying to get people to avoid you?”
Hyukjae stares at Kyuhyun, the man who he had seen around the firm, a hard worker who he generally thought was a good guy.
Kyuhyun's eyes widen.
“Oh... wow that was... I'm sorry. I'm an asshole. It's in my nature to say things like that,” he explains.
Hyukjae snaps his phone shut and turns away, waiting for Kyuhyun to leave. Kyuhyun does leave, after apologizing again, and Hyukjae sits at his desk, staring at his phone in his lap.
He had never thought about what kind of effect being with a man would have on his life. He already doesn't have any friends. Being gay isn't going to make that part of his life easier because being gay isn't acceptable in the eyes of many. And his family... well, they don't really matter.
But Donghae makes Hyukjae happy. What's so wrong about being with someone who makes you happy? Nothing. Nothing is wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with being happy, Hyukjae tells himself.
As soon as Hyukjae is off from work, he texts Donghae, asking if they can meet up and talk. Then he waits outside on his doorstep, staring at his laptop, typing out the incident that had happened with Kyuhyun.
“Hey, is something wrong?” Donghae asks as he sits, slightly panting from rushing to Hyukjae's.
Hyukjae frowns and leans his head on Donghae's shoulder, putting the laptop in his boyfriend's lap. Donghae catches his breath as he reads, then he frowns.
“Hyukjae... don't worry about people like that, okay? I know it hurts to hear those things but you have to ignore it,” Donghae says, wrapping his arm around Hyukjae's shoulder.
Hyukjae nods, leaning further into Donghae, letting his mind wander.
“What are your parents like?” He types.
“Parents?” Donghae blinks and smiles. “They're great. I told them I liked guys when I was sixteen. At first they didn't accept it... mostly because they wanted grandchildren. But since I have an older brother that's very interested in girls, they didn't mind. My brother actually got married recently so I guess babies are the next step for him.”
Hyukjae smiles, watching Donghae, knowing by the look on his face that he adores his family.
“What about your parents?” Donghae asks, turning his smile to Hyukjae.
Hyukjae's smile falters. Donghae notices.
“You don't have to tell me if-”
Hyukjae shakes his head and turns to his keyboard.
“They were upset that the only child they had was born without the ability to talk and they weren't afraid to show it.”
“Show it?” Donghae asks softly, keeping Hyukjae held close.
“I heard straight from their mouths that they wished I hadn't been born.”
Donghae reaches over and closes the laptop before Hyukjae can type more, putting it to the side and pulling Hyukjae into his arms.
“You were born and you've grown up to be talented and you're amazing and I want you and that's all I want you to think about,” Donghae says.
Hyukjae smiles, wrapping his arms around Donghae's waist and nodding. It feels good to be wanted.
-
The next day is a Friday and it unexpectedly rains.
Hyukjae and Donghae had planned on playing soccer for a while before cleaning up and heading out to see a movie. Plans changed, however, when a heavy downpour began just as they had started to play soccer.
Donghae groans, taking Hyukjae's hand and running with him. His apartment is much closer than Hyukjae's house and although he is not quite ready for Hyukjae to see it, he pulls him in its direction.
They reach it in only a few minutes, running up a short flight of stairs on the side of the building to reach his door. Donghae lets go of Hyukjae's hand to fish out his keys before unlocking the door and pulling Hyukjae inside. They're both panting from the run and Donghae laughs breathlessly as he turns the lights on.
“Sorry, I didn't even tell you where we were going,” Donghae says. “This is my place.”
He turns to Hyukjae, watching the eyes scanning his living space. It's small, definitely not as clean as Hyukjae's house with a few pieces of clothing scattered about on furniture and floor. The living room is quite large, featuring a rather bright red couch with two mismatched blue armchairs and a glass coffee table set up in front of Donghae's television. All of his walls are some shade of blue, the color in the living room stretching into his bedroom, separated by nothing but empty space. It is an apartment meant for one so Donghae doesn't mind not having a door on his bedroom. He wishes he did now, however, as Hyukjae peeks into his room, spying his unmade bed.
Donghae clears his throat and heads through his bedroom and into the connecting bathroom, grabbing two towels and returning to Hyukjae. He freezes for a moment, finally seeing Hyukjae in his current state.
Soaked, dark hair plastered to his forehead, droplets of water sliding down his cheeks, neck, arms, onto the floor that Donghae can't seem to care about at the moment. He takes a step forward, dabbing Hyukjae's cheek with a towel, brushing the wet locks of hair away from his forehead.
Hyukjae looks at him with eyes unreadable, an expression Donghae hasn't seen. He looks away to drape the towel over Hyukjae's head, slowly massaging the hair underneath the towel, drying it.
Hyukjae's eyes close for a moment, his breaths deepening. Donghae stops, removing his hands but leaving the towel, and Hyukjae's eyes open with an intensified expression.
“What are you thinking?” Donghae whispers, so close to Hyukjae that he can smell the rain on his skin.
Hyukjae stares at him, eyes moving to his lips and then back up again. He pulls out his phone, typing out a message.
“There's something about being completely soaked in my boyfriend's apartment for the first time that's kind of a turn on...”
Donghae looks from the message to Hyukjae's eyes. That look. Turned on? Thinking now, Donghae realizes that bringing his very wet and gorgeous boyfriend into his apartment really is a turn on. His heart rate seems to be excited at the idea.
Hyukjae takes a step forward, placing his hand on Donghae's chest, gently pushing him back. Donghae's feet obey, slowly walking backwards, his gaze still locked with Hyukjae's.
They're in the bedroom now. At least Donghae thinks they are but his mind isn't very clear, since he's watching Hyukjae bite his lip in a way that makes rational thoughts evacuate the vicinity of his brain. He doesn't complain when the only part of his brain that's functioning is the one that's telling him to kiss Hyukjae until neither of them can breathe.
“Hyukjae, we'll both get sick if we don't change into dry clothes.”
What part of his brain did that come from? Donghae mentally curses himself for the dry words, looking away from Hyukjae's eyes.
Hyukjae blinks at him before stepping away and nodding, using the towel on his head to dry himself off.
Donghae manages to pull himself together, digging through his clothes for a clean t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants for Hyukjae.
“These should fit you,” Donghae says, handing the clothes to Hyukjae. The bathroom is right there... so... you can change.”
Hyukjae nods again and quickly makes his way into the bathroom, shutting the door.
Donghae picks up a pillow just to punch it then quickly changes his clothes before Hyukjae comes out. He sighs, sitting on the edge of his bed, facing the bathroom door, waiting, hoping that nothing will be awkward.
He looks up when the door opens, nearly dropping his jaw. He never would have expected that Hyukjae would look a million times better in his clothes, with partially dry and ruffled hair, than he had when he was dripping with rain.
The towel is still around Hyukjae's neck and he's fiddling awkwardly with the ends of it, giving Donghae a glance that asks “how do I look?”
Then Donghae is on his feet, practically running to Hyukjae, cupping his cheek, holding the back of his neck, and kissing him with enough hunger to make both of them gasp against each other's lips.
Donghae is pulling and Hyukjae is pushing until they're falling against the bed, Donghae rolling until they're side by side. Hyukjae's head turns slightly, his teeth gently biting Donghae's upper lip.
Donghae's lips part slightly and Hyukjae's tongue pushes past them, slowly sliding into Donghae's mouth, making him groan softly. It's wet, hot, their tongues sliding against each other, tasting, warm breaths mingling.
Hyukjae's hand makes its way down Donghae's side, slowly sliding underneath, his fingers tracing along warm skin.
Donghae pulls away. He regrets it immediately, feeling the hand against his side freeze, seeing Hyukjae's flushed face and confused eyes, hearing his soft breaths pushing past deliciously parted lips.
“I... we... I don't want to rush... us,” Donghae manages to say.
Hyukjae catches his breath and takes Donghae's face in his hands, caressing his cheeks, trying to convey something through only his expression.
Donghae stares, analyzing, reading Hyukjae's eyes as best as he can. There's a very clear “please don't make me take out my phone right now” look in his eyes, mixed with something else. Something telling him “I don't want to go all of the way but...” Donghae blinks.
“You want us to go a little further but... not too far? Am I right?” Donghae asks, nudging his nose against Hyukjae's, hoping the cute gesture will save him if he's wrong.
Hyukjae smiles softly, nudging back and giving Donghae a soft kiss, lingering for a moment before pulling away, looking into Donghae's eyes. His hand starts moving again, slowly caressing Donghae's side, the bare skin underneath his shirt.
Donghae shivers, feeling Hyukjae's hand move along his skin, Hyukjae's eyes telling him to relax. He smiles to himself, wondering how someone he had thought was so cute and innocent was so in control over him. Maybe he had misjudged Hyukjae. Hyukjae is cute and innocent, but he is also an incredibly gorgeous man, in his bed, silently asking to be touched, for Donghae to show him what it feels like to be wanted.
Donghae sits up, smiling at the frown he gets from Hyukjae. He holds his arms up, waiting for Hyukjae to take the hint.
Hyukjae takes the hint quickly, grinning and kneeling on the bed, slowly lifting Donghae's shirt over his head, letting it fall to the floor. Hyukjae lets his eyes roam, admiring Donghae's body before he leans down, pressing a soft kiss in the center of Donghae's chest.
Donghae tries his hardest not to blush but he can't control it. When Hyukjae pulls away, Donghae easily slips his hands under Hyukjae's shirt, freeing Hyukjae of the restraining cloth.
Hyukjae bites his lip and looks away, hiding his smile under Donghae's appreciative stare.
Donghae pulls them both down until they're laying side by side again, looking at each other, letting their hands trace invisible patterns along smooth skin. Donghae runs a finger down Hyukjae's spine, wishing he could place a kiss over every inch of Hyukjae's body and claim it as his own.
Hyukjae's hand stops at a small scar on Donghae's shoulder and he looks to him for an explanation.
“I fell out of a tree when I was little... my shoulder hit a pretty sharp rock...” he says, smiling at Hyukjae's sympathetic look.
Hyukjae kisses the scar softly, nuzzling it with his nose before kissing along Donghae's shoulder to his neck. He stops, gently biting at a soft patch of Donghae's skin before sucking on it experimentally, continuing when he feels Donghae's throat rumble with a delighted moan.
Donghae blinks when Hyukjae pulls away with a shy gaze directed at Donghae's neck. He grins. Hyukjae's first experience with hickeys. He tackles Hyukjae, nuzzling his neck before biting and sucking gently to leave his mark on Hyukjae's skin.
Hyukjae is blushing hard and biting his own thumb when Donghae pulls away. Donghae briefly wonders what Hyukjae's moan would sound like.
They roll around in Donghae's bed for a while, kissing, touching, tasting, never crossing forbidden boundaries. It's sort of like a freestyle dance, Donghae thinks, learning about your partner's body, their dislikes, the way they move, how to adjust until there's a perfectly comfortable fit. But it's a dance that doesn't get past the simple steps. Just a practice, a few steps forward.
It's still raining, and it's the only sound that can be heard inside of Donghae's bedroom. Hyukjae is lying on his stomach, eyes closed, and Donghae is watching him, letting his fingers trail down the smooth skin of Hyukjae's back. It's perfect, having Hyukjae there, nearly asleep in his bed, both of them trying not to drift off from the sound of the rain.
Hyukjae's eyes open slowly, a silent question lingering in them.
“It's still raining really hard. Neither of us has to work tomorrow...” Donghae whispers, pressing his forehead against Hyukjae's. “You don't have to go... so stay.”
Hyukjae presses a kiss to Donghae's lips and smiles sleepily, moving into Donghae's warmth, curling against him. Donghae smiles, wrapping his arms around Hyukjae, holding him close.
And so Hyukjae stays with Donghae, in his arms, letting the pouring rain wash away any thoughts of staying awake.
-
Hyukjae wakes up to a handsome sleeping face in front of his and he smiles. Donghae looks warm and comfortable, sun drifting in through the window to brighten his skin.
Sun? Hyukjae sits up, putting on the shirt Donghae had given him last night, and walking to the window. Everything outside is wet, some rain droplets sliding down the window. It must have rained a lot, he thinks.
He frowns a little at the sun. Everything is covered in rain and there are rain clouds lingering in the sky but the sun is out as well. He hates it when the weather mixes this way, indecisive, unsure if it wants to be sunny or cloudy.
So he closes the blinds and nods in approval to himself before quietly making his way to Donghae's kitchen.
Breakfast. He opens the fridge, looks through the cupboards. Microwaveable dinners, some yogurt, sports drinks, rice, broccoli, eggs, popcorn, assorted cereals and potato chips. Not much to work with. He sighs, putting enough together to make an omelet with rice and broccoli.
It will be bland for sure, but probably better than Donghae eating a microwaved breakfast. He manages to find a couple of spices that Donghae probably doesn't know he has along with some salt and pepper.
He cooks everything separately before he mixes the broccoli and rice and wraps it in the egg. He frowns. It's not pretty and it probably doesn't taste good.
Just as he turns the stove off and situates the breakfast on a plate, a pair of arms slip around his waist and warm lips brush by his ear.
“This is ideal. Waking up to a handsome man cooking breakfast in my apartment.”
Hyukjae smiles, turning around to wrap his arms around Donghae's neck and greet him with a kiss.
“Good morning,” he mouths against Donghae's lips, feeling a strange, excited flutter in his heart.
“Good morning,” Donghae mouths back with a grin that's contagious. “What's for breakfast?” He asks, stealing a few kisses from Hyukjae.
Hyukjae barely manages to pull himself away. He frowns at the plate, holding it up and letting his expression show Donghae that it might taste awful.
“I'm surprised you managed to cook anything at all with the things I have in this kitchen,” Donghae says, sniffing the food. “It smells good, it can't possibly taste bad.”
Hyukjae pats around for his phone before realizing he doesn't even have pockets. He holds up a finger to let Donghae know he'll be right back before he makes his way back into Donghae's room, looking around for his phone.
He finds Donghae's phone on the floor and he picks it up, smiling when he sees that Donghae's phone wallpaper is a picture of him. He sets the phone down where he found it and picks up his own, typing a message on his way back to the kitchen.
“I didn't have much to work with and I'm not the greatest cook so I'm sorry if it's terrible.”
He looks up to show Donghae the message and finds himself staring at an empty plate and a Donghae with full cheeks.
“It was really good,” the Donghae with full cheeks says before swallowing and becoming regular-cheeked Donghae, “or I was just really hungry...”
There's no food left for Hyukjae to taste, no way to tell if Donghae is lying. Hyukjae narrows his eyes, walking straight to Donghae and kissing him. Donghae makes a startled noise before kissing back, letting his hands rest on Hyukjae's waist.
Hyukjae slips his tongue into Donghae's mouth, tasting, searching, sucking on Donghae's tongue until he's satisfied. He pulls away, rubbing his lips together, thinking. Minty. Donghae must have brushed his teeth. Broccoli, bland eggs. Hyukjae sighs.
“You're a liar. It was really bland.” He types, frowning at Donghae in a cute manner, far too innocent for what his tongue had just been doing.
Donghae takes the phone from Hyukjae's hand and practically throws it.
“I think you need a better taste,” he says far too seriously, pushing Hyukjae against the counter and kissing him again.
Hyukjae's hands fumble until he can pull himself onto the counter without breaking his lips from Donghae's. His hands then find their way into Donghae's already messy hair, fingers running through it, tangling in it.
Donghae's hands are on Hyukjae's thighs, squeezing, fingers practically burning through the cloth of his pants, producing a silent moan that gets stuck in Hyukjae's throat and turns into a gasp before it leaves his lips.
Donghae pulls away at the gasp, quickly removing his hands from Hyukjae's thighs.
“D-did I do something wrong?” He asks, head tilted, still panting against Hyukjae's lips.
Hyukjae shakes his head, frowning because his phone is somewhere on the floor. He looks at the concern in Donghae's eyes and smiles a little before pecking his lips softly and leaning his head against Donghae's shoulder, closing his eyes.
Donghae seems to take the hint, that Hyukjae needs a moment to think, so he rubs Hyukjae's back soothingly, trying to help him relax.
Hyukjae hugs Donghae, wrapping his arms and legs around the man, smiling because he feels a little bit like a koala. He doesn't know how to deal with all of these feelings at once. He likes Donghae, thinks about him constantly, makes himself blush just by thinking about his kisses, and those feelings are easy to adjust to. Seeing Donghae wet, with his shirt off, with a hungry, lustful look in his eyes... those feelings are hard to understand. Hyukjae doesn't think he's ready to understand them.
“Can we sit on the couch and talk?” Donghae asks softly.
Hyukjae nods, slipping off of the counter and grabbing his phone before following Donghae to sit next to him, facing him on the bright red and surprisingly comfortable couch.
“I want to talk about... well...” Donghae starts, continuing when Hyukjae squeezes his hand in encouragement, “I don't want us to rush things. It's really tempting to, I think we both feel that, but... the truth is that I rushed into something in the past and I don't want to put either of us through that.”
Hyukjae searches Donghae's face. Contemplative, serious, a little hurt. He moves closer, squeezing Donghae's hand tighter, asking him to open up just a little more. And Donghae looks at him, knowing what he's asking for.
“I was in high school and it was well-known that I was gay, I didn't hide it. These people, they called themselves my friends and I believed them, they told me how I had to lose my virginity or else I'd be a loser forever. I guess I was kind of desperate, seeing that all of them were so popular and actually listening to them.... They set me up with a guy, a year older than me and... he was really nice, at first. We dated normally and I really liked him and I thought he liked me. We... had sex and... he didn't talk to me for a week... then I saw him with some girl, just like that. Needless to say, I didn't get more popular. No one even looked at me after that. They didn't even make fun of me, just made me feel invisible...”
The room is silent for a while, Hyukjae taking in Donghae's words, his feelings. There's so much he wants to say, to comfort Donghae, to share his thoughts, but those thoughts are too scattered for him to put in words.
“I know that this is different from that,” Donghae says, “that we're different. It was something stupid from high school and I know it shouldn't matter. But I promised myself that I'd never rush into anything else ever again. I especially don't want to rush with you because you're... perfect.” Hyukjae's breath catches for a moment at the sincerity, the adoration in Donghae's compliment. “I wasn't sure how to tell you any of this or how you'd feel but... I had to let you know...”
Hyukjae cups Donghae's cheek and gives him a warm smile before reaching for his phone.
“We both have pasts. When the time comes, we'll talk about them. I'm sorry that this happened to you... but it doesn't change the way I feel about you. And I want to take thing slow, too... so let's not rush anything. We'll do whatever we're comfortable with and soon your mind will be filled with nothing but me so you won't think of high school anymore.”
Donghae laughs at the last sentence before cuddle-wrestling Hyukjae until they're both lying flat on the couch, Donghae's cheek against Hyukjae's chest, Hyukjae's hand playing with Donghae's hair.
“By the way, my mind is already filled with nothing but you,” Donghae whispers after several minutes of silence.
Hyukjae smiles, ruffling Donghae's hair affectionately and feeling Donghae's arms tighten around him. His heart is content as he simply lies on the couch with Donghae. His mind is at ease because his world is in his arms, because he finally feels wanted.
-