Nectarine Sunset 2/14
Title: Nectarine Sunset
Pairing: Eunhae
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, Fluff, Romance.
Summary: Hyukjae has never had an easy life. He has been sheltered, living the only way he knows how. A simple meeting with a cheerful young man named Donghae will change every feeling Hyukjae has ever had.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Epilogue |
-
Donghae shuffles his feet and discreetly checks his reflection in the glass of the coffee shop. He's a little nervous, waiting for Hyukjae. He had picked a simple plaid shirt and jeans to wear, hoping he wasn't too over or under dressed.
He jumps a little when he feels a tap on his shoulder and stares at Hyukjae. Glasses. Hyukjae must not have worn them before so as not to break them while playing soccer. Donghae glances at his outfit, trying not to be too obvious. He mentally scolds himself for staring a little too long when he notices Hyukjae staring back at him curiously and clears his throat.
“You wear glasses?” He asks, watching Hyukjae's eyes blink behind the black frames.
Hyukjae nods and points over Donghae's shoulder. Donghae turns to look and he laughs.
“The eye place! You knew about this coffee place because you get your glasses here?”
Hyukjae nods and smiles a little shyly.
Donghae clenches his fists a little to keep himself from reaching out and pinching Hyukjae's cheeks. “So, um, let's go in,” He says quickly, stopping when Hyukjae tugs on his sleeve.
Hyukjae reaches into his pocket and pulls out a scrap piece of paper, handing it to Donghae and turning away, still acting shyly.
“Ah! I said I'd order for you! Vanilla latte and a chocolate chip cookie?” Donghae asks with a smile. “I think I'll have the same... I'll pay for both of us!”
Donghae runs in to order and Hyukjae frowns, quickly following after him. Hyukjae tugs on his sleeve again and continuously pokes his arm. Donghae smiles and ignores all of Hyukjae's attempts to get his attention. Hyukjae pushes his money onto the counter to pay for himself before Donghae can even get his wallet out, so he decides to give in and let Hyukjae pay for his own snack.
Hyukjae picks a table near a window and sets up his laptop. Donghae nibbles on a cookie and watches him, wondering if he should say something or wait for Hyukjae to start the conversation. Apparently Hyukjae is wondering the same thing because he blinks at Donghae before slowly lowering his face to hide behind his laptop.
Donghae laughs a little and bites his lip, considering his words before speaking them. “You... look really cute in glasses. I wanted to say it earlier but I wasn't sure if I should but I didn't want you to think you looked weird in them or something because you don't you look really cute and,” he stops to breathe, “I ramble like that sometimes.”
Hyukjae stays frozen for a moment before pulling away from his laptop just enough to type. “I like your rambling. No one ever rambles to me. And no one calls me cute so thank you.”
Hyukjae ducks behind his laptop again, just his eyes peeking over as Donghae reads.
“No one calls you cute? Ever?” Donghae asks, honestly wondering how the other man didn't hear the compliment every day.
Hyukjae thinks for a moment before typing. “No one significant has called me cute, I guess. And I probably haven't heard it since I was a teen.”
Hyukjae takes a bite of his cookie while Donghae reads. Donghae looks up at him and wonders even more how no one had called him cute.
“You're adorable,” he says softly.
Hyukjae freezes, swallows the cookie in his mouth, then freezes again. “Thank you.” He writes, turning away to take a sip of his latte, clearly embarrassed.
“Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean...” he stops, distracted by Hyukjae's sharp jawline for a moment, “I didn't mean to make you feel awkward...”
Hyukjae frowns a little before typing. “No, it's okay, I'm just not used to this... I'm trying hard not to be weird, since I don't get out much.”
Donghae smiles a little. “You're not being weird at all. I'm the weird one. I obviously don't know how to talk to you without ruining our conversation.”
Hyukjae smiles back. “I really like listening to you talk. Your voice is really.... warm.”
This time Donghae is embarrassed, clearing his throat and drinking his latte to distract himself. They sit for a while, drinking and eating slowly, exchanging smiles. It's surprisingly comfortable, sitting across from each other, not saying a word until Donghae finds curiosity creeping up on him.
“If you don't mind me asking, what do you do for a living?”
Hyukjae seems to think for a moment, maybe wondering how to explain it since he probably hasn't had to in a while. “I work at an architecture firm. I don't design much, I mostly check scaling and sometimes make models. Being the oddball of the office gets you lower end assignments, I suppose.”
Donghae stares at the sentence. “Oddball? Just because you can't speak doesn't mean you can't work just as well as anyone else,” he says.
“I'm really not that great of an architect, I'm happy working where I am now. Making models is actually pretty fun.” He smiles at Donghae, letting him know he's sincere.
“Do you think you could show me some?” Donghae asks as he starts to chew on his straw.
Hyukjae tilts his head a little before typing. “I could... but you need to tell me what you do for a living too.”
“Oh, I-” Donghae stops and grins, “would it be too much to ask you to see me a third time today so I can show you?”
Hyukjae stares in blatant confusion and Donghae almost laughs. “If you can meet me tonight at about eight, I'd really like to show you. If I tell you, it'll be boring.”
Hyukjae looks skeptical, maybe even a little scared as his hands type out a response. “I don't know...”
Donghae sees so much distrust in Hyukjae's eyes and it would hurt if Donghae didn't understand. Donghae did understand, however. Hyukjae had said before that he had been treated unfairly, he didn't have a reason to trust Donghae.
“Hey... I know it probably seems weird for me to ask you to meet me again, and I understand if you don't want to but... I honestly do want to show you, Hyukjae. Please?”
Hyukjae's eyes shift from uncomfortable to calm, and then he types. “Okay.”
-
“You're an idiot, Hyukjae. An idiot.”
He's sitting at his desk, typing to himself, trying to get some kind of sense into his head.
“You shouldn't have agreed to go with him. What if he's crazy? What if he robs you or kills you? You're stupid!!!!!!!!!”
He hits his forehead against his his keyboard and makes some sort of gibberish word. He stays there, the letter 'h' continuously repeat across the screen until he lifts his head from the key. He remembers Donghae's eyes, the looks he gave Hyukjae, the words he spoke. Donghae had seemed so sincere and Hyukjae wants nothing more than to trust him but it's so damn hard.
He lets his cheek rest against the cool wood of his desk and he closes his eyes, remembering Donghae's face, his smiles mixed with the sound of his voice. Hyukjae could drown in that voice, so sweet and soft.
Hyukjae kicks himself in the shin to pull himself out of his own thoughts. His mind feels like it's in a million different places at once and he can't seem to stay calm. He glances at the clock. Four more hours. Four hours of fidgeting and wondering if he should change his clothes and worrying about how the night would go.
He decides to just let his forehead abuse the 'h' key for a little while longer.
-
Donghae is nervous. He wants Hyukjae to show up, badly. He wants to be trusted. He's waiting at the designated meeting place, a sidewalk not too far from a local mall, and he glances around, waiting for any sign of Hyukjae. He paces back and forth, wondering why every time he looks at his watch only a few seconds have trickled by.
Just as he is about to lose hope, Hyukjae shows up, and Donghae can't hide his grin as he jogs to meet him. Hyukjae is wearing a dark red sweatshirt over his thin frame to protect himself from the cool night air. Donghae thinks that Hyukjae must look good in anything.
“Hey, I'm really glad you came,” is the first thing Donghae says and Hyukjae smiles before pulling a phone from his pocket.
“Give me your number so we can text?” He types out, showing Donghae.
“I guess it'd be tough to carry that laptop everywhere,” Donghae says as he inputs his number into Hyukjae's phone.
Hyukjae sends him a test text. “So, why are we here?”
“Oh! Follow me!” Donghae almost tells Hyukjae to try and be quiet until he remembers that Hyukjae can't make any noise at all.
He frowns at himself and leads Hyukjae to the back of a building, unlocking a door. Hyukjae gives him a skeptical look that Donghae can barely make out under the dim glow of a street light.
“Trust me.” Donghae says, waiting until after Hyukjae nods before leading him inside and closing the door behind them.
It's dark and Donghae can practically feel Hyukjae panicking before he turns the light on. He blinks to adjust his eyes and turns to Hyukjae.
There are bags of dog food in one corner, cat food in another. Miscellaneous animal kennels lined up on one wall. Hyukjae looks completely confused as his eyes scan the room and land on Donghae.
Donghae only smiles. “This is the back room, come on.”
He opens a door slowly and beckons for Hyukjae to follow him and he smiles wider when he hears Hyukjae gasp.
A few familiar barks and yips are heard and Donghae puts his finger to his lips, as if telling the small dogs in the room to be quiet. The room is small, several cages lined up and only three of them containing animals, all puppies.
Hyukjae crouches next to a cage and lets a small, brown puppy lick his fingers through the bars of the cage and he smiles before turning to Donghae.
“This room is for puppies. There's another room for kittens, one for full grown cats, and one for full grown dogs. We have another room for other animals. Sometimes people just drop them off and we have to find a way to take care of them. One time someone dropped off a single goldfish in a bag,” Donghae explains.
Hyukjae frowns a little at the mention of people dropping animals off but the puppy licking his hand makes his smile so wide that his eyes crinkle. Donghae has the strangest thought of bottling that smile up and keeping it with him to use as a ray of sunshine on a rainy day.
“This is Bo. The little girl in the cage next to him is his sister, Po. And the one next to her is Anna,” Donghae says, letting Po nibble on one of his fingers and he swears he can see Hyukjae mouth the puppy's name.
Donghae watches him for a while before opening the cages and letting all three puppies out of their confinement. Hyukjae blinks in confusion until he has three tongues licking at his fingers and face and then he's... laughing?
His face is stretched in a wide smile and his body is convulsing as if he's laughing uncontrollably but no sound is coming out. Donghae hears him almost wheezing for air and he can't help but laugh. He feels wrong, almost like laughing at a handicapped person but he can't stop. Hyukjae being tackled by three puppies and doubled over in laughter is too much for Donghae to handle.
“Hey, you're gonna kill him!” Donghae says, snatching two of the puppies from Hyukjae, giving him a chance to breathe.
Hyukjae's face is a little red from the laughter and he's panting but he's smiling wide at Donghae. He fixes his glasses before picking up the puppy that Donghae hadn't taken from him, Anna, and cuddling her in his arms. She licks his face and he scrunches his nose at the puppy breath before smiling again.
They sit with the puppies, Donghae explaining details of his job, taking care of abandoned animals, finding them homes, and Hyukjae mostly listens, occasionally sending a question through text.
It's past eleven in the evening and the puppies are all asleep before either of them even realizes that it's late. Hyukjae helps Donghae put the puppies in their cages and lock up the building, leaving it just the way they had found it.
They're back under the street light again, and Donghae doesn't want to say good night. Hyukjae is looking at him, hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes full of words he cannot say.
They stare at each other until Donghae finally pieces his thoughts together and breaks the silence. “Do you live far? I could walk you home or-”
Hyukjae leans in and pecks Donghae on the cheek before he can finish his sentence. Hyukjae smiles at him and starts to walk away just as Donghae's phone buzzes.
“I'd like it if you'd walk me home.” Hyukjae must have typed out the message secretly and waited for the perfect moment to hit the send button.
Donghae grins and jogs after Hyukjae before falling into step next to him. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't even think he can get a word past his own smile.
The neighborhood Hyukjae lives in is familiar and not too far from his own. The houses are a little nicer and he figures Hyukjae must have quite a bit of money from working at an architecture firm, unless he was leading Donghae to a cardboard box on the side of the road.
Hyukjae stops and points to a house in the dark. It's definitely not small but it's not exactly large either. It has a unique shape that Donghae can't describe and windows that stretch over the width of whole rooms. He blinks a few times, and he wonders.
“Did you design it?”
Hyukjae nods, smiling a little triumphantly and Donghae wants to tackle him.
“It's beautiful,” Donghae says, although he's not looking at the house anymore.
Hyukjae notices and he smiles, turning to Donghae. He mouths the words “good night” and heads towards his house before he's gently tugged back by a hand and a pair of smiling lips land on his cheek.
“Good night,” Donghae whispers against his cheek before turning and jogging away, leaving a blushing, smiling Hyukjae on the sidewalk.
-
Hyukjae makes his way inside, locking the door and turning on the lights, exhausted but still smiling. He's about to take his hoodie off when his phone rings. Hyukjae's phone never rings. Confused, he takes the phone from his pocket and grins when he sees the name of the person calling. He answers and holds the phone against his ear, waiting.
“I know you can't say anything back but I wanted to tell you that... I had a lot of fun today. And I want to see you again soon. So... text me sometime? And... yeah, that's all I wanted to say... good night, Hyukjae.”
The call ends and Hyukjae stares at his phone, wondering if Donghae was real or if he'd created him out of loneliness. If Donghae was real, he was perfect. Kind, handsome, patient, and... he liked Hyukjae?
Hyukjae thinks as he brushes teeth, what the odds are that an incredibly perfect man who apparently prefers men to women had just walked into his life and kissed him on the cheek.
He's been guarding himself for so long, never even imagining that someone would like him. That someone would give him a smile and kiss him on the cheek or call him just to tell him good night.
Maybe he really did make Donghae up. Or maybe Donghae is real but he doesn't like Hyukjae. He frowns as he crawls into bed, glancing out the window. It's a clear night but his head is full of fog.
It's as if they're children, pecking each other on the cheek and dancing around the serious aspects of a relationship. Nothing is serious, yet. They are children, learning about each other, how to act, how to feel. It's surreal, and it's scary to Hyukjae. His shell is being broken, ever so gently, by a man with sweet words and deep eyes. And Hyukjae thinks that it's about time that he lets his shell fall apart completely.
-
“So he can't talk?”
“Nope.”
“And you like him?”
“Yup.”
A pause.
“Donghae, I'm so confused! How does something like this even happen?”
Donghae smiles. “It just... does.” He feels a light smack against his arm and he frowns. “What was that for?”
“You're daydreaming and you should be working.”
Donghae rubs his arm for sympathy even though it doesn't hurt and he get back to work with Sooyoung, getting a new kitten settled into their establishment.
Sooyoung had started working with Donghae on the day the pet shelter opened. They were awkward at first, bumping into each other and arguing over everything, until their arguing slowly became conversation and their awkwardness became friendship. Donghae had always been friends with girls rather than boys. Girls understood him. Sooyoung understood him. She was tall, pretty, kind, and only became Donghae's friend after he had accidentally blurted out that he was gay. She had immediately pinched his cheeks, called him cute, and promised to be his best friend forever.
Donghae feels another smack to his arm and he turns to glare at Sooyoung.
“You were daydreaming again,” she says, putting the kitten into his arms.
“I was thinking of your pretty face,” he teases, holding the kitten up to look at its paws.
“Think of your boyfriend's face.”
“He's not my boyfriend!” Donghae exclaims childishly, handing the kitten back to Sooyoung when his phone buzzes.
“Are you working today?” The text from Hyukjae reads.
Donghae grins.
Sooyoung peers over his shoulder to read the text. “Invite him here so I can meet him or else I'll tell him all of your dirty little secrets.”
“You are such an evil... witch.” Donghae mumbles and texts Hyukjae back, telling him he should drop by the pet shelter if he's not busy.
Donghae tries to contain his smile when Hyukjae texts back with an “I'll see you soon” but he can't control the curve of his lips.
“He's on his way. Don't do anything... funny.” Donghae says, reaching to scratch behind the kitten's ear.
“You know I wouldn't do anything too mean.” Sooyoung says, smiling at the kitten. “We can let Hyukjae name her, do you think he'd like that?”
Donghae thinks about it and grins at Sooyoung. “You're kind of a genius.”
“Yeah, I know,” Sooyoung says with a smug grin and Donghae laughs.
The front door opens and Donghae rushes to greet Hyukjae. “Hi!” He says far too excitedly, watching Hyukjae's eyes widen and a smile spread over his face.
Hyukjae waves in return and blinks curiously over Donghae's shoulder.
“You must be Donghae's friend, Hyukjae? I'm Sooyoung, it's nice to meet you,” Sooyoung says warmly, walking forward to shake Hyukjae's hand.
Hyukjae seems stunned for a moment before he reaches to shake Sooyoung's hand.
Donghae watches his best friend shake hands with Hyukjae and he smiles, feeling warm and somehow comforted seeing the two together. “Hyukjae,” he says, “we have a job for you.”
Hyukjae is led back to the cages and a kitten is put into his arms by Sooyoung who smiles fondly at the sight of him cuddling the kitten instantly. “Will you name her for us?” She asks.
Hyukjae's eyes dart between Sooyoung and Donghae before landing on the kitten. He examines her for a while, smiling when she lets out a tiny meow. He returns the kitten to Sooyoung and pulls out his phone, typing the name “Star” and sending it to Donghae.
“Star...” Sooyoung smiles, “it's perfect. Now you two go off on an afternoon date, I'll lock up here.”
“Sooyoung!” Donghae exclaims.
“That's my name! I'm so glad you remembered. Now off with you,” she says, quickly ushering both Donghae and Hyukjae out the door.
When they're outside, Donghae nervously turns to Hyukjae and finds him smiling. He watches him type something on his phone, picking up his own to read the text.
“Can we go somewhere to talk?”
“Oh, of course! Where do you want to go?” Donghae asks, most of the eagerness in his voice hidden.
Hyukjae looks at Donghae before looking at his hand, reaching for it and entwining their fingers. He looks to Donghae's face again, his eyes asking for permission. Donghae gives very clear permission by squeezing Hyukjae's hand and letting himself be led away from the pet shelter.
They walk rather slowly, Donghae swinging their hands ever so often just to delight in the embarrassed smile that crosses Hyukjae's face.
“I always take the animals out here for a while when they get restless,” Donghae says once they reach a small park.
There aren't many people around, probably due to the cloudy weather, and Donghae likes it that way. There's no one to give them odd looks. Two men holding hands in the park wasn't accepted by everyone but the few people meandering around didn't seem to mind at all.
Hyukjae sits down at the roots of a tree in a secluded area of the park and gently pulls Donghae to sit next to him. Hyukjae pulls his laptop from its case and begins to type, and Donghae waits.
“Hi.”
Donghae laughs at the message. “Hi,” he says back, wanting to nuzzle Hyukjae's cheek and tell him how adorable he is. He barely manages to resist.
“I was scared, for a moment, when I looked into the shop and saw you with Sooyoung. I thought she might be your girlfriend and... I think I felt jealousy, for the first time in my life. Pretty stupid, huh? Being jealous over someone you hardly know...” Hyukjae shows him the written message with a sheepish smile.
“Hyukjae... no, no she's not my girlfriend. She never has been and she never will be. She's my best friend and... I don't exactly... swing that way...” Donghae tries to explain.
Hyukjae tilts his head, understanding but wanting more of an explanation.
“I'm... completely gay. For sure. I couldn't like Sooyoung that way if I tried. I... like men.” Donghae says, clearing his throat.
Hyukjae blinks and nods slowly, absorbing the information but not typing anything in response.
“So... what about you?” Donghae asks, waiting eagerly for Hyukjae's reaction.
Hyukjae's eyes widen a little and he frowns as he types. “I've never even dated anyone before.”
“Never?” Donghae asks almost too loudly. “So... are you even sure... what your... preference is?” He asks nervously.
Hyukjae looks at him for a moment before smiling and slowly typing his next message.
“My preference is you, Donghae.”
Donghae tries not to beam too brightly.
“Hyukjae, I...” he stops to take Hyukjae's hand in his own, “I know that this is probably weird for you, you say you've never dated and you have no friends and here I am, asking you to do so much... you don't seem to trust easily and I understand that. And if I'm moving too fast or freaking you out I want you to tell me but I need to say that I really, really like you.”
It's a bit of a ramble, although more contained than Donghae's usual rants, and for once the expression on Hyukjae's face is unreadable. Donghae waits, letting Hyukjae's hand go, watching his hands hover above the keys before they move.
“It is weird for me. And it's hard for me to trust people. And I don't know what moving too fast even means. For me, this is probably too fast. This is my first confession and it's from someone I've only known for a week. I don't know how I'm supposed to be feeling. I think I should be feeling like everything is too much, that we should slow down, that I'm not ready but... that's not how I feel. I've been waiting for someone to understand me and somehow you do. I don't know how you do it but you just... you get me, and you're not even trying, you don't even know me. And that makes me confused. But you're wonderful. And I like you. And everything about you makes me want to smile all the damn time. And I'm wondering if this is happening too fast too. I'm waiting for you to run away but you just keep smiling at me.... now I'm the one rambling...”
Hyukjae practically pushes the laptop into Donghae's lap so he can turn away as Donghae reads his rant. Donghae reads slowly. He frowns, then he smiles, then he's frowning again. It's obvious to him that Hyukjae is confused and he realizes that he doesn't know how it's obvious, it just is. And it's clear to him that they feel the same, afraid to scare one another away with forward advances but eager to jump in and start something real.
“Hyukjae...” Donghae says softly, waiting for Hyukjae to turn to him, “I just want to ask one thing. What do you want?”
Hyukjae looks away, thinking of how to answer the question and he turns his eyes to meet Donghae's. He slowly lifts his hand and extends his finger, pressing it to the middle of Donghae's chest and mouthing one word.
“You.”
Donghae forgets all talk of moving too fast and leans in to gently press his lips to Hyukjae's. Hyukjae moves closer, pressing back, slowly moving against him. Donghae loses himself against lips that have never uttered a word, becomes dizzy off of a simple, chaste kiss.
Donghae pulls away first, Hyukjae's warm breath making his lips tingle and he has to resist pressing against Hyukjae for another kiss.
“Wow...” Donghae whispers after he remembers how to breathe, “are you sure you've never kissed anyone before?”
Hyukjae gives him a small, angry pout and he gives it a soft, quick kiss just to watch it turn into a smile.
“Really, Hyukjae, that... was an amazing kiss.”
Hyukjae nods in agreement and Donghae realizes that he's trying just as hard not to lean in for another kiss.
“Dinner. Tonight. You, me, a real date. Please?” Donghae asks once he's managed to pull his face far enough from Hyukjae's to see his eyes.
Hyukjae is fake sniffling as he shows Donghae his response. “Only if you promise that you can kiss me like that again.”
“I can prove it right now, if you'd like.”
Hyukjae initiates a second kiss just after Donghae barely manages to finish his sentence.
-
Dinner. Formal dinner? Casual dinner? What is dinner?
Hyukjae throws another shirt on the ground and whines to himself in his head. Donghae didn't specify what kind of dinner, Hyukjae is too afraid to text him and ask. Even if he did know, he still wouldn't be sure what to wear.
For once Hyukjae wishes he had tried to make friends in the past. He wants a friend like Sooyoung. Sooyoung? Sooyoung! Hyukjae pulls his phone out to text Donghae.
“May I have Sooyoung's number?”
“Sooyoung? What for? She's evil!”
“I thought she was lovely and I have a question for her and it's none of your business.” Hyukjae adds a smiley with its tongue sticking out.
“You can ask me instead.”
“I cannot!”
“Why noooooooot?”
“I won't come to dinner if you don't tell me her number right now.”
Hyukjae grins triumphantly when the next text contains a number and a sad face.
“Sooyoung? Donghae gave me your number. It's Hyukjae.”
“Hyukjae! Is Donghae being mean to you? Do you want me to beat him up?”
“No! I need to know what to wear to dinner. Donghae didn't specify...” he trails off and hopes Sooyoung will understand.
“Wear something semi-casual. Donghae isn't very formal so don't worry. And remember that it's always better to be overdressed than underdressed!”
He texts a thank you to Sooyoung before raiding his closet, deciding on a pair of black dress pants and a dark blue sweater over a light blue button down shirt. It's semi-casual, not too formal, and he's mostly sure Donghae will like it.
Then Hyukjae starts to panic. How is he supposed to talk with Donghae during dinner? Sending texts across the dinner table is certainly not proper table manners and bringing a laptop to a formal restaurant is probably impossible. Even if it isn't, Hyukjae doesn't want to be stared at the entire time he's on a date.
A date. A date with Donghae. Had he agreed too quickly? The confession, the kiss, the promise of dinner. Hyukjae sits down, playing with his phone. Should he cancel the date? He gets up and paces back in forth, thinking.
They didn't know enough about each other to be dating but dating was meant to help them get to know each other, right? But how will they get to know each other if Hyukjae can't speak at all during dinner?
Hyukjae frowns. He stops pacing and quickly types a message to Donghae on his phone.
“I don't think we should have dinner tonight.”
Just as he presses send, there is a knock on the door.
A million profanities fly through Hyukjae's mind. Open the door and explain? Stay holed up inside and pretend to be sick? Too many thoughts. His head hurts.
He rushes to the door, opening it and finding Donghae's sad eyes glancing up at him from the text he had just sent. Hyukjae flails his arms, trying to refute his own text with his actions.
“Hyukjae... what's wrong?” Donghae asks, worried by Hyukjae's movements.
Hyukjae pulls his phone out again, quickly typing out a message.
“I didn't mean that last text. I mean I did but I didn't. I'm just... panicked.”
Donghae reads the text and smiles a little, sadness still evident in his eyes.
“If you're worried, I understand. I should have thought that this might be too much... I'm sorry.”
Why is Donghae apologizing, Hyukjae wonders, when he is the one at fault?
Hyukjae takes Donghae's hand, giving him an apologetic look and leading him inside. He rushes to his bedroom and comes back with his laptop, finding Donghae staring around his house with wide eyes.
Hyukjae looks around too. His living room is bright, even with the sun going down, the lightly colored wooden walls and floor making the whole room seem warm. The room consists of a wall made of one large window that extends into the ceiling, slanting and making a roof of glass. The walls on each side of the glass are bookshelves, embedded into the walls of the house. The wall opposite the glass is decorated with frames, paintings and photographs of Hyukjae's favorite architecture. The room is completely empty besides that, the wooden floor polished and clean as it usually is. Hyukjae is quite proud of this room and he smiles a little, watching Donghae admire it.
“This is amazing...” Donghae says, his eyes finally landing on Hyukjae.
Hyukjae only smiles in return, hoping Donghae will know that he's grateful for the comment, before he types out a message.
“I'm really sorry. I didn't mean that I don't want to go to dinner with you, I do. I'm just panicked because I've never been to dinner before. I don't want to text you over dinner or bring my laptop into a restaurant just so we can talk. I don't want to embarrass you like that.”
Donghae tears his eyes away from the room to read the message. The look in his eyes grows sadder as he glances up at Hyukjae.
“I wouldn't be embarrassed... but I thought that you might be uncomfortable, so I set up an outdoor dinner date, where we would be alone...” he says softly.
Hyukjae's heart twists. Donghae had thought of it? And he did something to make Hyukjae feel more comfortable? He wants to hug Donghae but he holds back, typing again.
“I'm so sorry, Donghae... I reacted too quickly without thinking.”
Donghae smiles and shakes his head.
“Don't worry about it, I told you I understand. I know this is all kinda crazy for you,” he says, looking around the room again. “I wouldn't mind ordering takeout and just eating in here, though.” He blinks and looks at Hyukjae. “Hey, maybe that'd be a good idea. You would be comfortable here, right?”
Hyukjae nods quickly and grins, wrapping his arms around Donghae's neck and squeezing him into a hug of thanks. Donghae laughs a little and hugs back, making Hyukjae want to melt. He is trying so hard not to press his nose into Donghae's neck to inhale his scent. He can smell it already, whatever cologne Donghae is wearing, mixed with some kind of shampoo or body wash and whatever laundry detergent he uses. He pulls away a little, finally realizing that Donghae really isn't a formal guy, dressed in a nice but thin gray sweater and dress pants. He grins and looks at Donghae's face, looking away when he notices Donghae is staring at him too.
“So, what do you want to order?” Donghae asks, pulling out his phone.
Hyukjae widens his eyes a little. He had never ordered food, he couldn't. He always cooks for himself. He scratches his head and shrugs as a sign that he doesn't mind what they eat.
“Hmm... I know a place that delivers pasta... or we could get pizza... or there's that chicken delivery place, it's really good...” Donghae is practically drooling through his words and Hyukjae wants to laugh.
“Chicken sounds good.” He types out, along with his address so Donghae can order.
Donghae is on the phone ordering while Hyukjae is in the kitchen, picking out eating utensils, drinks, and anything he thinks might be necessary for eating takeout chicken. When he returns to his living room, he finds Donghae sitting in the middle of it, looking around again.
“Can we eat in here? On the floor?” Donghae asks, looking at him with hopeful eyes.
Hyukjae blinks a few times. He actually prefers to eat there, rather than at his own table, with a book or maybe his sketchpad. Now he has a Donghae to keep him company instead. He smiles and nods, sitting down across from Donghae, laying out his takeout preparation materials.
Donghae gets up to answer the door when there is a knock. He comes back with chicken and the scent alone makes Hyukjae's mouth water. Hyukjae frowns a little when he sees Donghae putting his wallet into his back pocket.
“I'll let you pay next time,” Donghae says with a knowing grin.
Hyukjae smiles at the idea of next time.
They eat, Donghae talks, Hyukjae occasionally writes, trying not to get chicken grease on his keyboard. Donghae asks how Hyukjae could possibly wash a window as large as the one in front of them and he laughs at the disgusted face Hyukjae gives him, clearly telling him it's a pain in the ass. Donghae learns that Hyukjae does like to clean, though. His house is immaculate, not a spot of dust, and even his books are in alphabetical order by author and category.
Hyukjae squirms a little under Donghae's appreciative stare.
“I don't know how you do it. Your house is beautiful and you designed it yourself and everything is so clean. My apartment is a mess most of the time. Luckily I've resisted bringing home half the animal shelter or else it'd be way worse,” Donghae says with a frown.
“I just really like to clean. And I have a lot of free time.” Hyukjae types.
Donghae still frowns, looking at the mess of takeout food surrounding them.
“And I come into your house and make a mess,” he says.
Hyukjae covers his mouth to keep himself from going into a silent fit of laughter and shakes his head.
“It's fine! I told you I liked cleaning, don't worry about it!”
“No! I have to help you!” Donghae insists, picking up some of the mess.
Hyukjae still holds back his laugh, helping with the mess and showing Donghae into the kitchen so they can dispose of everything.
“Even your kitchen is awesome,” Donghae comments.
The kitchen is done in the same wood as the living room. It's just as bright, although his kitchen appliances are all dark in color. He likes the contrast.
Hyukjae thinks for a moment before going to his fridge. He takes out a chocolate pie, mostly eaten, and watches a smile cross Donghae's face.
They sit on the living room floor again, two forks and a platter of chocolate pie. They don't talk much, too busy enjoying their dessert. Hyukjae takes his last bite and stretches out, laying on his stomach.
Donghae smiles at him and flattens himself out as well.
“That was delicious,” he says, earning an agreeing smile in return.
Hyukjae looks out the window and frowns a little. It is already dark.
“I guess we missed the sunset... I like watching it from this room. I didn't realize it was so late.” He types.
Donghae frowns back.
“I'm sorry... I guess I distracted you... and it is pretty late, I should probably leave,” he says, moving to sit up.
Hyukjae sits up quickly and frowns. He doesn't want Donghae to go yet. It is late, however, and he knows that they should both sleep soon.
They clean up their small mess from dessert and Hyukjae reluctantly leads Donghae to the door, opening it and letting a soft breeze in.
“I'd like to see you again, whenever you're free,” Donghae says, stepping outside and facing Hyukjae in the doorway.
Hyukjae smiles and nods and blinks when Donghae leans in to kiss his cheek. Donghae is holding back, Hyukjae knows it, and he knows it's because he doesn't want Hyukjae to feel uncomfortable.
So Hyukjae is the one that leans in, placing a soft kiss against Donghae's lips before pulling away.
They both want more and it's painful for them not to lean in again.
“Well... um... good night, Hyukjae,” Donghae says with a smile, slowly and reluctantly backing away, keeping his eyes on Hyukjae.
Hyukjae smiles in return and waves, watching Donghae turn to leave. He closes his door and locks it, hiding behind it, letting out a deep breath he must have been holding.
He wants to see Donghae again. He wants him to come back now, pull him close, kiss him again. He sighs a little to himself. He'll text Donghae in the morning, he thinks, and tell him he can't wait to see him again.
-
A/N: Thank you all so so so so much for the feedback on the first chapter, I was so happy that it was well-received! ;; ♥
Pairing: Eunhae
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, Fluff, Romance.
Summary: Hyukjae has never had an easy life. He has been sheltered, living the only way he knows how. A simple meeting with a cheerful young man named Donghae will change every feeling Hyukjae has ever had.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Epilogue |
-
Donghae shuffles his feet and discreetly checks his reflection in the glass of the coffee shop. He's a little nervous, waiting for Hyukjae. He had picked a simple plaid shirt and jeans to wear, hoping he wasn't too over or under dressed.
He jumps a little when he feels a tap on his shoulder and stares at Hyukjae. Glasses. Hyukjae must not have worn them before so as not to break them while playing soccer. Donghae glances at his outfit, trying not to be too obvious. He mentally scolds himself for staring a little too long when he notices Hyukjae staring back at him curiously and clears his throat.
“You wear glasses?” He asks, watching Hyukjae's eyes blink behind the black frames.
Hyukjae nods and points over Donghae's shoulder. Donghae turns to look and he laughs.
“The eye place! You knew about this coffee place because you get your glasses here?”
Hyukjae nods and smiles a little shyly.
Donghae clenches his fists a little to keep himself from reaching out and pinching Hyukjae's cheeks. “So, um, let's go in,” He says quickly, stopping when Hyukjae tugs on his sleeve.
Hyukjae reaches into his pocket and pulls out a scrap piece of paper, handing it to Donghae and turning away, still acting shyly.
“Ah! I said I'd order for you! Vanilla latte and a chocolate chip cookie?” Donghae asks with a smile. “I think I'll have the same... I'll pay for both of us!”
Donghae runs in to order and Hyukjae frowns, quickly following after him. Hyukjae tugs on his sleeve again and continuously pokes his arm. Donghae smiles and ignores all of Hyukjae's attempts to get his attention. Hyukjae pushes his money onto the counter to pay for himself before Donghae can even get his wallet out, so he decides to give in and let Hyukjae pay for his own snack.
Hyukjae picks a table near a window and sets up his laptop. Donghae nibbles on a cookie and watches him, wondering if he should say something or wait for Hyukjae to start the conversation. Apparently Hyukjae is wondering the same thing because he blinks at Donghae before slowly lowering his face to hide behind his laptop.
Donghae laughs a little and bites his lip, considering his words before speaking them. “You... look really cute in glasses. I wanted to say it earlier but I wasn't sure if I should but I didn't want you to think you looked weird in them or something because you don't you look really cute and,” he stops to breathe, “I ramble like that sometimes.”
Hyukjae stays frozen for a moment before pulling away from his laptop just enough to type. “I like your rambling. No one ever rambles to me. And no one calls me cute so thank you.”
Hyukjae ducks behind his laptop again, just his eyes peeking over as Donghae reads.
“No one calls you cute? Ever?” Donghae asks, honestly wondering how the other man didn't hear the compliment every day.
Hyukjae thinks for a moment before typing. “No one significant has called me cute, I guess. And I probably haven't heard it since I was a teen.”
Hyukjae takes a bite of his cookie while Donghae reads. Donghae looks up at him and wonders even more how no one had called him cute.
“You're adorable,” he says softly.
Hyukjae freezes, swallows the cookie in his mouth, then freezes again. “Thank you.” He writes, turning away to take a sip of his latte, clearly embarrassed.
“Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean...” he stops, distracted by Hyukjae's sharp jawline for a moment, “I didn't mean to make you feel awkward...”
Hyukjae frowns a little before typing. “No, it's okay, I'm just not used to this... I'm trying hard not to be weird, since I don't get out much.”
Donghae smiles a little. “You're not being weird at all. I'm the weird one. I obviously don't know how to talk to you without ruining our conversation.”
Hyukjae smiles back. “I really like listening to you talk. Your voice is really.... warm.”
This time Donghae is embarrassed, clearing his throat and drinking his latte to distract himself. They sit for a while, drinking and eating slowly, exchanging smiles. It's surprisingly comfortable, sitting across from each other, not saying a word until Donghae finds curiosity creeping up on him.
“If you don't mind me asking, what do you do for a living?”
Hyukjae seems to think for a moment, maybe wondering how to explain it since he probably hasn't had to in a while. “I work at an architecture firm. I don't design much, I mostly check scaling and sometimes make models. Being the oddball of the office gets you lower end assignments, I suppose.”
Donghae stares at the sentence. “Oddball? Just because you can't speak doesn't mean you can't work just as well as anyone else,” he says.
“I'm really not that great of an architect, I'm happy working where I am now. Making models is actually pretty fun.” He smiles at Donghae, letting him know he's sincere.
“Do you think you could show me some?” Donghae asks as he starts to chew on his straw.
Hyukjae tilts his head a little before typing. “I could... but you need to tell me what you do for a living too.”
“Oh, I-” Donghae stops and grins, “would it be too much to ask you to see me a third time today so I can show you?”
Hyukjae stares in blatant confusion and Donghae almost laughs. “If you can meet me tonight at about eight, I'd really like to show you. If I tell you, it'll be boring.”
Hyukjae looks skeptical, maybe even a little scared as his hands type out a response. “I don't know...”
Donghae sees so much distrust in Hyukjae's eyes and it would hurt if Donghae didn't understand. Donghae did understand, however. Hyukjae had said before that he had been treated unfairly, he didn't have a reason to trust Donghae.
“Hey... I know it probably seems weird for me to ask you to meet me again, and I understand if you don't want to but... I honestly do want to show you, Hyukjae. Please?”
Hyukjae's eyes shift from uncomfortable to calm, and then he types. “Okay.”
-
“You're an idiot, Hyukjae. An idiot.”
He's sitting at his desk, typing to himself, trying to get some kind of sense into his head.
“You shouldn't have agreed to go with him. What if he's crazy? What if he robs you or kills you? You're stupid!!!!!!!!!”
He hits his forehead against his his keyboard and makes some sort of gibberish word. He stays there, the letter 'h' continuously repeat across the screen until he lifts his head from the key. He remembers Donghae's eyes, the looks he gave Hyukjae, the words he spoke. Donghae had seemed so sincere and Hyukjae wants nothing more than to trust him but it's so damn hard.
He lets his cheek rest against the cool wood of his desk and he closes his eyes, remembering Donghae's face, his smiles mixed with the sound of his voice. Hyukjae could drown in that voice, so sweet and soft.
Hyukjae kicks himself in the shin to pull himself out of his own thoughts. His mind feels like it's in a million different places at once and he can't seem to stay calm. He glances at the clock. Four more hours. Four hours of fidgeting and wondering if he should change his clothes and worrying about how the night would go.
He decides to just let his forehead abuse the 'h' key for a little while longer.
-
Donghae is nervous. He wants Hyukjae to show up, badly. He wants to be trusted. He's waiting at the designated meeting place, a sidewalk not too far from a local mall, and he glances around, waiting for any sign of Hyukjae. He paces back and forth, wondering why every time he looks at his watch only a few seconds have trickled by.
Just as he is about to lose hope, Hyukjae shows up, and Donghae can't hide his grin as he jogs to meet him. Hyukjae is wearing a dark red sweatshirt over his thin frame to protect himself from the cool night air. Donghae thinks that Hyukjae must look good in anything.
“Hey, I'm really glad you came,” is the first thing Donghae says and Hyukjae smiles before pulling a phone from his pocket.
“Give me your number so we can text?” He types out, showing Donghae.
“I guess it'd be tough to carry that laptop everywhere,” Donghae says as he inputs his number into Hyukjae's phone.
Hyukjae sends him a test text. “So, why are we here?”
“Oh! Follow me!” Donghae almost tells Hyukjae to try and be quiet until he remembers that Hyukjae can't make any noise at all.
He frowns at himself and leads Hyukjae to the back of a building, unlocking a door. Hyukjae gives him a skeptical look that Donghae can barely make out under the dim glow of a street light.
“Trust me.” Donghae says, waiting until after Hyukjae nods before leading him inside and closing the door behind them.
It's dark and Donghae can practically feel Hyukjae panicking before he turns the light on. He blinks to adjust his eyes and turns to Hyukjae.
There are bags of dog food in one corner, cat food in another. Miscellaneous animal kennels lined up on one wall. Hyukjae looks completely confused as his eyes scan the room and land on Donghae.
Donghae only smiles. “This is the back room, come on.”
He opens a door slowly and beckons for Hyukjae to follow him and he smiles wider when he hears Hyukjae gasp.
A few familiar barks and yips are heard and Donghae puts his finger to his lips, as if telling the small dogs in the room to be quiet. The room is small, several cages lined up and only three of them containing animals, all puppies.
Hyukjae crouches next to a cage and lets a small, brown puppy lick his fingers through the bars of the cage and he smiles before turning to Donghae.
“This room is for puppies. There's another room for kittens, one for full grown cats, and one for full grown dogs. We have another room for other animals. Sometimes people just drop them off and we have to find a way to take care of them. One time someone dropped off a single goldfish in a bag,” Donghae explains.
Hyukjae frowns a little at the mention of people dropping animals off but the puppy licking his hand makes his smile so wide that his eyes crinkle. Donghae has the strangest thought of bottling that smile up and keeping it with him to use as a ray of sunshine on a rainy day.
“This is Bo. The little girl in the cage next to him is his sister, Po. And the one next to her is Anna,” Donghae says, letting Po nibble on one of his fingers and he swears he can see Hyukjae mouth the puppy's name.
Donghae watches him for a while before opening the cages and letting all three puppies out of their confinement. Hyukjae blinks in confusion until he has three tongues licking at his fingers and face and then he's... laughing?
His face is stretched in a wide smile and his body is convulsing as if he's laughing uncontrollably but no sound is coming out. Donghae hears him almost wheezing for air and he can't help but laugh. He feels wrong, almost like laughing at a handicapped person but he can't stop. Hyukjae being tackled by three puppies and doubled over in laughter is too much for Donghae to handle.
“Hey, you're gonna kill him!” Donghae says, snatching two of the puppies from Hyukjae, giving him a chance to breathe.
Hyukjae's face is a little red from the laughter and he's panting but he's smiling wide at Donghae. He fixes his glasses before picking up the puppy that Donghae hadn't taken from him, Anna, and cuddling her in his arms. She licks his face and he scrunches his nose at the puppy breath before smiling again.
They sit with the puppies, Donghae explaining details of his job, taking care of abandoned animals, finding them homes, and Hyukjae mostly listens, occasionally sending a question through text.
It's past eleven in the evening and the puppies are all asleep before either of them even realizes that it's late. Hyukjae helps Donghae put the puppies in their cages and lock up the building, leaving it just the way they had found it.
They're back under the street light again, and Donghae doesn't want to say good night. Hyukjae is looking at him, hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes full of words he cannot say.
They stare at each other until Donghae finally pieces his thoughts together and breaks the silence. “Do you live far? I could walk you home or-”
Hyukjae leans in and pecks Donghae on the cheek before he can finish his sentence. Hyukjae smiles at him and starts to walk away just as Donghae's phone buzzes.
“I'd like it if you'd walk me home.” Hyukjae must have typed out the message secretly and waited for the perfect moment to hit the send button.
Donghae grins and jogs after Hyukjae before falling into step next to him. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't even think he can get a word past his own smile.
The neighborhood Hyukjae lives in is familiar and not too far from his own. The houses are a little nicer and he figures Hyukjae must have quite a bit of money from working at an architecture firm, unless he was leading Donghae to a cardboard box on the side of the road.
Hyukjae stops and points to a house in the dark. It's definitely not small but it's not exactly large either. It has a unique shape that Donghae can't describe and windows that stretch over the width of whole rooms. He blinks a few times, and he wonders.
“Did you design it?”
Hyukjae nods, smiling a little triumphantly and Donghae wants to tackle him.
“It's beautiful,” Donghae says, although he's not looking at the house anymore.
Hyukjae notices and he smiles, turning to Donghae. He mouths the words “good night” and heads towards his house before he's gently tugged back by a hand and a pair of smiling lips land on his cheek.
“Good night,” Donghae whispers against his cheek before turning and jogging away, leaving a blushing, smiling Hyukjae on the sidewalk.
-
Hyukjae makes his way inside, locking the door and turning on the lights, exhausted but still smiling. He's about to take his hoodie off when his phone rings. Hyukjae's phone never rings. Confused, he takes the phone from his pocket and grins when he sees the name of the person calling. He answers and holds the phone against his ear, waiting.
“I know you can't say anything back but I wanted to tell you that... I had a lot of fun today. And I want to see you again soon. So... text me sometime? And... yeah, that's all I wanted to say... good night, Hyukjae.”
The call ends and Hyukjae stares at his phone, wondering if Donghae was real or if he'd created him out of loneliness. If Donghae was real, he was perfect. Kind, handsome, patient, and... he liked Hyukjae?
Hyukjae thinks as he brushes teeth, what the odds are that an incredibly perfect man who apparently prefers men to women had just walked into his life and kissed him on the cheek.
He's been guarding himself for so long, never even imagining that someone would like him. That someone would give him a smile and kiss him on the cheek or call him just to tell him good night.
Maybe he really did make Donghae up. Or maybe Donghae is real but he doesn't like Hyukjae. He frowns as he crawls into bed, glancing out the window. It's a clear night but his head is full of fog.
It's as if they're children, pecking each other on the cheek and dancing around the serious aspects of a relationship. Nothing is serious, yet. They are children, learning about each other, how to act, how to feel. It's surreal, and it's scary to Hyukjae. His shell is being broken, ever so gently, by a man with sweet words and deep eyes. And Hyukjae thinks that it's about time that he lets his shell fall apart completely.
-
“So he can't talk?”
“Nope.”
“And you like him?”
“Yup.”
A pause.
“Donghae, I'm so confused! How does something like this even happen?”
Donghae smiles. “It just... does.” He feels a light smack against his arm and he frowns. “What was that for?”
“You're daydreaming and you should be working.”
Donghae rubs his arm for sympathy even though it doesn't hurt and he get back to work with Sooyoung, getting a new kitten settled into their establishment.
Sooyoung had started working with Donghae on the day the pet shelter opened. They were awkward at first, bumping into each other and arguing over everything, until their arguing slowly became conversation and their awkwardness became friendship. Donghae had always been friends with girls rather than boys. Girls understood him. Sooyoung understood him. She was tall, pretty, kind, and only became Donghae's friend after he had accidentally blurted out that he was gay. She had immediately pinched his cheeks, called him cute, and promised to be his best friend forever.
Donghae feels another smack to his arm and he turns to glare at Sooyoung.
“You were daydreaming again,” she says, putting the kitten into his arms.
“I was thinking of your pretty face,” he teases, holding the kitten up to look at its paws.
“Think of your boyfriend's face.”
“He's not my boyfriend!” Donghae exclaims childishly, handing the kitten back to Sooyoung when his phone buzzes.
“Are you working today?” The text from Hyukjae reads.
Donghae grins.
Sooyoung peers over his shoulder to read the text. “Invite him here so I can meet him or else I'll tell him all of your dirty little secrets.”
“You are such an evil... witch.” Donghae mumbles and texts Hyukjae back, telling him he should drop by the pet shelter if he's not busy.
Donghae tries to contain his smile when Hyukjae texts back with an “I'll see you soon” but he can't control the curve of his lips.
“He's on his way. Don't do anything... funny.” Donghae says, reaching to scratch behind the kitten's ear.
“You know I wouldn't do anything too mean.” Sooyoung says, smiling at the kitten. “We can let Hyukjae name her, do you think he'd like that?”
Donghae thinks about it and grins at Sooyoung. “You're kind of a genius.”
“Yeah, I know,” Sooyoung says with a smug grin and Donghae laughs.
The front door opens and Donghae rushes to greet Hyukjae. “Hi!” He says far too excitedly, watching Hyukjae's eyes widen and a smile spread over his face.
Hyukjae waves in return and blinks curiously over Donghae's shoulder.
“You must be Donghae's friend, Hyukjae? I'm Sooyoung, it's nice to meet you,” Sooyoung says warmly, walking forward to shake Hyukjae's hand.
Hyukjae seems stunned for a moment before he reaches to shake Sooyoung's hand.
Donghae watches his best friend shake hands with Hyukjae and he smiles, feeling warm and somehow comforted seeing the two together. “Hyukjae,” he says, “we have a job for you.”
Hyukjae is led back to the cages and a kitten is put into his arms by Sooyoung who smiles fondly at the sight of him cuddling the kitten instantly. “Will you name her for us?” She asks.
Hyukjae's eyes dart between Sooyoung and Donghae before landing on the kitten. He examines her for a while, smiling when she lets out a tiny meow. He returns the kitten to Sooyoung and pulls out his phone, typing the name “Star” and sending it to Donghae.
“Star...” Sooyoung smiles, “it's perfect. Now you two go off on an afternoon date, I'll lock up here.”
“Sooyoung!” Donghae exclaims.
“That's my name! I'm so glad you remembered. Now off with you,” she says, quickly ushering both Donghae and Hyukjae out the door.
When they're outside, Donghae nervously turns to Hyukjae and finds him smiling. He watches him type something on his phone, picking up his own to read the text.
“Can we go somewhere to talk?”
“Oh, of course! Where do you want to go?” Donghae asks, most of the eagerness in his voice hidden.
Hyukjae looks at Donghae before looking at his hand, reaching for it and entwining their fingers. He looks to Donghae's face again, his eyes asking for permission. Donghae gives very clear permission by squeezing Hyukjae's hand and letting himself be led away from the pet shelter.
They walk rather slowly, Donghae swinging their hands ever so often just to delight in the embarrassed smile that crosses Hyukjae's face.
“I always take the animals out here for a while when they get restless,” Donghae says once they reach a small park.
There aren't many people around, probably due to the cloudy weather, and Donghae likes it that way. There's no one to give them odd looks. Two men holding hands in the park wasn't accepted by everyone but the few people meandering around didn't seem to mind at all.
Hyukjae sits down at the roots of a tree in a secluded area of the park and gently pulls Donghae to sit next to him. Hyukjae pulls his laptop from its case and begins to type, and Donghae waits.
“Hi.”
Donghae laughs at the message. “Hi,” he says back, wanting to nuzzle Hyukjae's cheek and tell him how adorable he is. He barely manages to resist.
“I was scared, for a moment, when I looked into the shop and saw you with Sooyoung. I thought she might be your girlfriend and... I think I felt jealousy, for the first time in my life. Pretty stupid, huh? Being jealous over someone you hardly know...” Hyukjae shows him the written message with a sheepish smile.
“Hyukjae... no, no she's not my girlfriend. She never has been and she never will be. She's my best friend and... I don't exactly... swing that way...” Donghae tries to explain.
Hyukjae tilts his head, understanding but wanting more of an explanation.
“I'm... completely gay. For sure. I couldn't like Sooyoung that way if I tried. I... like men.” Donghae says, clearing his throat.
Hyukjae blinks and nods slowly, absorbing the information but not typing anything in response.
“So... what about you?” Donghae asks, waiting eagerly for Hyukjae's reaction.
Hyukjae's eyes widen a little and he frowns as he types. “I've never even dated anyone before.”
“Never?” Donghae asks almost too loudly. “So... are you even sure... what your... preference is?” He asks nervously.
Hyukjae looks at him for a moment before smiling and slowly typing his next message.
“My preference is you, Donghae.”
Donghae tries not to beam too brightly.
“Hyukjae, I...” he stops to take Hyukjae's hand in his own, “I know that this is probably weird for you, you say you've never dated and you have no friends and here I am, asking you to do so much... you don't seem to trust easily and I understand that. And if I'm moving too fast or freaking you out I want you to tell me but I need to say that I really, really like you.”
It's a bit of a ramble, although more contained than Donghae's usual rants, and for once the expression on Hyukjae's face is unreadable. Donghae waits, letting Hyukjae's hand go, watching his hands hover above the keys before they move.
“It is weird for me. And it's hard for me to trust people. And I don't know what moving too fast even means. For me, this is probably too fast. This is my first confession and it's from someone I've only known for a week. I don't know how I'm supposed to be feeling. I think I should be feeling like everything is too much, that we should slow down, that I'm not ready but... that's not how I feel. I've been waiting for someone to understand me and somehow you do. I don't know how you do it but you just... you get me, and you're not even trying, you don't even know me. And that makes me confused. But you're wonderful. And I like you. And everything about you makes me want to smile all the damn time. And I'm wondering if this is happening too fast too. I'm waiting for you to run away but you just keep smiling at me.... now I'm the one rambling...”
Hyukjae practically pushes the laptop into Donghae's lap so he can turn away as Donghae reads his rant. Donghae reads slowly. He frowns, then he smiles, then he's frowning again. It's obvious to him that Hyukjae is confused and he realizes that he doesn't know how it's obvious, it just is. And it's clear to him that they feel the same, afraid to scare one another away with forward advances but eager to jump in and start something real.
“Hyukjae...” Donghae says softly, waiting for Hyukjae to turn to him, “I just want to ask one thing. What do you want?”
Hyukjae looks away, thinking of how to answer the question and he turns his eyes to meet Donghae's. He slowly lifts his hand and extends his finger, pressing it to the middle of Donghae's chest and mouthing one word.
“You.”
Donghae forgets all talk of moving too fast and leans in to gently press his lips to Hyukjae's. Hyukjae moves closer, pressing back, slowly moving against him. Donghae loses himself against lips that have never uttered a word, becomes dizzy off of a simple, chaste kiss.
Donghae pulls away first, Hyukjae's warm breath making his lips tingle and he has to resist pressing against Hyukjae for another kiss.
“Wow...” Donghae whispers after he remembers how to breathe, “are you sure you've never kissed anyone before?”
Hyukjae gives him a small, angry pout and he gives it a soft, quick kiss just to watch it turn into a smile.
“Really, Hyukjae, that... was an amazing kiss.”
Hyukjae nods in agreement and Donghae realizes that he's trying just as hard not to lean in for another kiss.
“Dinner. Tonight. You, me, a real date. Please?” Donghae asks once he's managed to pull his face far enough from Hyukjae's to see his eyes.
Hyukjae is fake sniffling as he shows Donghae his response. “Only if you promise that you can kiss me like that again.”
“I can prove it right now, if you'd like.”
Hyukjae initiates a second kiss just after Donghae barely manages to finish his sentence.
-
Dinner. Formal dinner? Casual dinner? What is dinner?
Hyukjae throws another shirt on the ground and whines to himself in his head. Donghae didn't specify what kind of dinner, Hyukjae is too afraid to text him and ask. Even if he did know, he still wouldn't be sure what to wear.
For once Hyukjae wishes he had tried to make friends in the past. He wants a friend like Sooyoung. Sooyoung? Sooyoung! Hyukjae pulls his phone out to text Donghae.
“May I have Sooyoung's number?”
“Sooyoung? What for? She's evil!”
“I thought she was lovely and I have a question for her and it's none of your business.” Hyukjae adds a smiley with its tongue sticking out.
“You can ask me instead.”
“I cannot!”
“Why noooooooot?”
“I won't come to dinner if you don't tell me her number right now.”
Hyukjae grins triumphantly when the next text contains a number and a sad face.
“Sooyoung? Donghae gave me your number. It's Hyukjae.”
“Hyukjae! Is Donghae being mean to you? Do you want me to beat him up?”
“No! I need to know what to wear to dinner. Donghae didn't specify...” he trails off and hopes Sooyoung will understand.
“Wear something semi-casual. Donghae isn't very formal so don't worry. And remember that it's always better to be overdressed than underdressed!”
He texts a thank you to Sooyoung before raiding his closet, deciding on a pair of black dress pants and a dark blue sweater over a light blue button down shirt. It's semi-casual, not too formal, and he's mostly sure Donghae will like it.
Then Hyukjae starts to panic. How is he supposed to talk with Donghae during dinner? Sending texts across the dinner table is certainly not proper table manners and bringing a laptop to a formal restaurant is probably impossible. Even if it isn't, Hyukjae doesn't want to be stared at the entire time he's on a date.
A date. A date with Donghae. Had he agreed too quickly? The confession, the kiss, the promise of dinner. Hyukjae sits down, playing with his phone. Should he cancel the date? He gets up and paces back in forth, thinking.
They didn't know enough about each other to be dating but dating was meant to help them get to know each other, right? But how will they get to know each other if Hyukjae can't speak at all during dinner?
Hyukjae frowns. He stops pacing and quickly types a message to Donghae on his phone.
“I don't think we should have dinner tonight.”
Just as he presses send, there is a knock on the door.
A million profanities fly through Hyukjae's mind. Open the door and explain? Stay holed up inside and pretend to be sick? Too many thoughts. His head hurts.
He rushes to the door, opening it and finding Donghae's sad eyes glancing up at him from the text he had just sent. Hyukjae flails his arms, trying to refute his own text with his actions.
“Hyukjae... what's wrong?” Donghae asks, worried by Hyukjae's movements.
Hyukjae pulls his phone out again, quickly typing out a message.
“I didn't mean that last text. I mean I did but I didn't. I'm just... panicked.”
Donghae reads the text and smiles a little, sadness still evident in his eyes.
“If you're worried, I understand. I should have thought that this might be too much... I'm sorry.”
Why is Donghae apologizing, Hyukjae wonders, when he is the one at fault?
Hyukjae takes Donghae's hand, giving him an apologetic look and leading him inside. He rushes to his bedroom and comes back with his laptop, finding Donghae staring around his house with wide eyes.
Hyukjae looks around too. His living room is bright, even with the sun going down, the lightly colored wooden walls and floor making the whole room seem warm. The room consists of a wall made of one large window that extends into the ceiling, slanting and making a roof of glass. The walls on each side of the glass are bookshelves, embedded into the walls of the house. The wall opposite the glass is decorated with frames, paintings and photographs of Hyukjae's favorite architecture. The room is completely empty besides that, the wooden floor polished and clean as it usually is. Hyukjae is quite proud of this room and he smiles a little, watching Donghae admire it.
“This is amazing...” Donghae says, his eyes finally landing on Hyukjae.
Hyukjae only smiles in return, hoping Donghae will know that he's grateful for the comment, before he types out a message.
“I'm really sorry. I didn't mean that I don't want to go to dinner with you, I do. I'm just panicked because I've never been to dinner before. I don't want to text you over dinner or bring my laptop into a restaurant just so we can talk. I don't want to embarrass you like that.”
Donghae tears his eyes away from the room to read the message. The look in his eyes grows sadder as he glances up at Hyukjae.
“I wouldn't be embarrassed... but I thought that you might be uncomfortable, so I set up an outdoor dinner date, where we would be alone...” he says softly.
Hyukjae's heart twists. Donghae had thought of it? And he did something to make Hyukjae feel more comfortable? He wants to hug Donghae but he holds back, typing again.
“I'm so sorry, Donghae... I reacted too quickly without thinking.”
Donghae smiles and shakes his head.
“Don't worry about it, I told you I understand. I know this is all kinda crazy for you,” he says, looking around the room again. “I wouldn't mind ordering takeout and just eating in here, though.” He blinks and looks at Hyukjae. “Hey, maybe that'd be a good idea. You would be comfortable here, right?”
Hyukjae nods quickly and grins, wrapping his arms around Donghae's neck and squeezing him into a hug of thanks. Donghae laughs a little and hugs back, making Hyukjae want to melt. He is trying so hard not to press his nose into Donghae's neck to inhale his scent. He can smell it already, whatever cologne Donghae is wearing, mixed with some kind of shampoo or body wash and whatever laundry detergent he uses. He pulls away a little, finally realizing that Donghae really isn't a formal guy, dressed in a nice but thin gray sweater and dress pants. He grins and looks at Donghae's face, looking away when he notices Donghae is staring at him too.
“So, what do you want to order?” Donghae asks, pulling out his phone.
Hyukjae widens his eyes a little. He had never ordered food, he couldn't. He always cooks for himself. He scratches his head and shrugs as a sign that he doesn't mind what they eat.
“Hmm... I know a place that delivers pasta... or we could get pizza... or there's that chicken delivery place, it's really good...” Donghae is practically drooling through his words and Hyukjae wants to laugh.
“Chicken sounds good.” He types out, along with his address so Donghae can order.
Donghae is on the phone ordering while Hyukjae is in the kitchen, picking out eating utensils, drinks, and anything he thinks might be necessary for eating takeout chicken. When he returns to his living room, he finds Donghae sitting in the middle of it, looking around again.
“Can we eat in here? On the floor?” Donghae asks, looking at him with hopeful eyes.
Hyukjae blinks a few times. He actually prefers to eat there, rather than at his own table, with a book or maybe his sketchpad. Now he has a Donghae to keep him company instead. He smiles and nods, sitting down across from Donghae, laying out his takeout preparation materials.
Donghae gets up to answer the door when there is a knock. He comes back with chicken and the scent alone makes Hyukjae's mouth water. Hyukjae frowns a little when he sees Donghae putting his wallet into his back pocket.
“I'll let you pay next time,” Donghae says with a knowing grin.
Hyukjae smiles at the idea of next time.
They eat, Donghae talks, Hyukjae occasionally writes, trying not to get chicken grease on his keyboard. Donghae asks how Hyukjae could possibly wash a window as large as the one in front of them and he laughs at the disgusted face Hyukjae gives him, clearly telling him it's a pain in the ass. Donghae learns that Hyukjae does like to clean, though. His house is immaculate, not a spot of dust, and even his books are in alphabetical order by author and category.
Hyukjae squirms a little under Donghae's appreciative stare.
“I don't know how you do it. Your house is beautiful and you designed it yourself and everything is so clean. My apartment is a mess most of the time. Luckily I've resisted bringing home half the animal shelter or else it'd be way worse,” Donghae says with a frown.
“I just really like to clean. And I have a lot of free time.” Hyukjae types.
Donghae still frowns, looking at the mess of takeout food surrounding them.
“And I come into your house and make a mess,” he says.
Hyukjae covers his mouth to keep himself from going into a silent fit of laughter and shakes his head.
“It's fine! I told you I liked cleaning, don't worry about it!”
“No! I have to help you!” Donghae insists, picking up some of the mess.
Hyukjae still holds back his laugh, helping with the mess and showing Donghae into the kitchen so they can dispose of everything.
“Even your kitchen is awesome,” Donghae comments.
The kitchen is done in the same wood as the living room. It's just as bright, although his kitchen appliances are all dark in color. He likes the contrast.
Hyukjae thinks for a moment before going to his fridge. He takes out a chocolate pie, mostly eaten, and watches a smile cross Donghae's face.
They sit on the living room floor again, two forks and a platter of chocolate pie. They don't talk much, too busy enjoying their dessert. Hyukjae takes his last bite and stretches out, laying on his stomach.
Donghae smiles at him and flattens himself out as well.
“That was delicious,” he says, earning an agreeing smile in return.
Hyukjae looks out the window and frowns a little. It is already dark.
“I guess we missed the sunset... I like watching it from this room. I didn't realize it was so late.” He types.
Donghae frowns back.
“I'm sorry... I guess I distracted you... and it is pretty late, I should probably leave,” he says, moving to sit up.
Hyukjae sits up quickly and frowns. He doesn't want Donghae to go yet. It is late, however, and he knows that they should both sleep soon.
They clean up their small mess from dessert and Hyukjae reluctantly leads Donghae to the door, opening it and letting a soft breeze in.
“I'd like to see you again, whenever you're free,” Donghae says, stepping outside and facing Hyukjae in the doorway.
Hyukjae smiles and nods and blinks when Donghae leans in to kiss his cheek. Donghae is holding back, Hyukjae knows it, and he knows it's because he doesn't want Hyukjae to feel uncomfortable.
So Hyukjae is the one that leans in, placing a soft kiss against Donghae's lips before pulling away.
They both want more and it's painful for them not to lean in again.
“Well... um... good night, Hyukjae,” Donghae says with a smile, slowly and reluctantly backing away, keeping his eyes on Hyukjae.
Hyukjae smiles in return and waves, watching Donghae turn to leave. He closes his door and locks it, hiding behind it, letting out a deep breath he must have been holding.
He wants to see Donghae again. He wants him to come back now, pull him close, kiss him again. He sighs a little to himself. He'll text Donghae in the morning, he thinks, and tell him he can't wait to see him again.
-
A/N: Thank you all so so so so much for the feedback on the first chapter, I was so happy that it was well-received! ;; ♥