reframing "sexual maturity"
I’d like to challenge prevailing ideas of “sexual maturity” from a pro-PWD (and particular, people with invisible mental illness) perspective. This is clearly an idea found within mainstream feminism, but I don’t think it’s really all that distinguishable from mainstream thought in general, so, you know, apply as necessary. Overall, it is
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"Promiscuity" actually is, horrifyingly, a symptom of mental illness--it's often used as one of the criteria for borderline personality disorder. What sort of behavior qualifies as promiscuity is entirely up to the judgment of the person evaluating the patient. Completely subjective.
As far as I can tell borderline is what PTSD is called when the evaluator doesn't like the patient. It means you got abused because you suck. (Yeah, I've been given this label and I'm bitter about it. I like the way PTSD fits much better.)
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That is BEAUTIFUL. I want to get a T-shirt printed up so I can wear it class and piss off my professors.
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Yes, so very well-said. And what I don't want is for this one tiny sliver of society where teens can get some non-shame about having sex to become a source of belittlement and shame. These resources have to be as accessible as possible for all of these teens.
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For now, just one note. You said "...with “promiscuity” often considered just short of a symptom of mental illness" and I wanted to let you know that it is ABSOLUTELY not "just short". I know an awful lot of psych practitioners who still think that "promiscuity" in women is a valid indicator of psychological dysfunction, whether they attribute that to a personality disorder, trauma, or sex addiction (usually depending on what rings their theoretical bells). Psych deals very poorly with sexuality, and this is especially true in the case of women and adolescents/children. In the case of female adolescents and children? They're probably actively harmful.
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I'm more concerned with the fact that this is the language used by people who are advocating and creating sex-ed websites and curricula. It's not so much coming from other kids that I'm worried about (well, maybe it is now, but not as I remember). I don't want something which I worry is exclusionist and possibly harmful playing such a big role in the pro-sex discourse. If that makes sense.
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I didn't have any sexual experiences until I was in my early 20s and, yeah, it was a source of shame for me. I think the big reason for that, though, was more the media than anything else. I remember clearly watching Hocus Pocus as a kid and wondering why the teenage boy was being made fun of for being a virgin. This puzzlement continued to my teen years when I was especially attuned to how the media seemed to think all teens were having sex. That it was normal and natural. And that teens who weren't having sex were losers.
So I felt like a big loser. I already felt unattractive thanks to good old body image issues. And I was suffering from undiagnosed depression which made me pretty much an outcast at school.
I did have opportunities that, if I had been more eager to have sex, I could have then. But I'm glad I didn't. Instead, I waited until I had a lot more confidence in my body and my identity, and my first time was an absolute blast instead of a disastrous attempt at a self-esteem boost.
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I waited until I had a lot more confidence in my body and my identity, and my first time was an absolute blast instead of a disastrous attempt at a self-esteem boost.
I think that's such an illustrative story to emphasize, and I'm really grateful you chose to share it. There are a lot of factors conspiring to keep girls from having that confidence, especially girls with mental health issues, and to stigmatize them as "immature" instead of affirming a healthy decision they make for themselves is wrong. *high-fives you on the awesome sex*
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