Fic: The Werewolf Diaries (Day 16-32/100 days)
Fic: The Werewolf Diaries (Day 16-32/100 days)
Summary: 100 very bizarre days in the life of a smallish person of inquisitve nature.
Author: C. Sullivan (as interpreted by pen37 and Clarksmuse)
Fandoms: Smallville/Supernatural/DCU
Pairing:Chloe/Dean
Rating: Pg
Day 1-15, Day 16-32, Day 33-41, Day 42-59, Day 60-68, Day 69 70-84, Day 85-100.
Day 16
General store owner: Hello, welcome to last-chance rocky mountain general store.
Chloe: My, that sounds ominous.
General store owner: Doesn't it? And what a nice sweater!
Chloe: . . . what are you smoking?
General store owner: Of the two of us, only you're going out into the woods. Therefore, I'll be the one to judge who is crazy here or not.
Chloe: You've obviously never been menaced by a chainsaw-wielding telekinetic, have you?
General store owner: Where you're going, I hope you brought him with you.
***
Gave sweater to this nice lady at the general store in exchange for a map to the cabin. She told me that there was something ominous in the woods.
Ominous wouldn't scare your average Smallville fifth grader.
Day 17
Met the local park ranger. Should say, met the local hottie McRanger. Name is Dean. He told me to stay inside at night and lock the doors.
Nice ranger. Kinda full of himself. Until he's had to face down an evil Kryptonian robot, he shouldn't tell me what to do.
***
Dean: Mine.
Chloe: Excuse me?
Dean: Oh, er. Hi. I'm Dean Winchester.
Chloe: And what are you supposed to be? A forest ranger?
Dean: Exactly. Smokey Bear. Hug a tree. Only you can prevent forest fires. Watch out for rabid squirrels.
Chloe: O-kay?
Dean: *stares intently at her*
Chloe: Do I have something between my teeth?
Dean: Huh? What?
Chloe: Boy, for a ranger, you don't pay much attention.
Dean: Depends on what I'm looking at.
Chloe: Uh huh. Dream on.
Dean: I dunno. I can dream pretty big.
Chloe: *sigh* Was there a reason why you stopped me?
Dean: *mutters* So I can take you back to my place for a long game of Doctor?
Chloe: What was that?
Dean: Er, I mean... Here on business or pleasure? *smirk*
Chloe: Depends on your outlook.
Dean: *smirks wider* I can make it worth your while.
Chloe: ...
Dean: Even protect you from the things that go bump in the night.
Chloe: What, in the forest?
Dean: Yeah. Those big nasty things that make you wanna lock the door and crawl under the covers... Seems like a fun thing to do.
Chloe: You don't seem like a ranger.
Dean: Really?
Chloe: You seem like a wolf.
Dean: Er?
Chloe: You know . . . one of those guys in the bars who is forever trying to pick up desperate women using bad pickup lines.
Dean: You have no idea.
Chloe: So do I look desperate to you?
Dean: Well, you *are* just south of Nowheresville all by yourself. Alone with a hunky wo-- ranger.
Chloe: Woranger? Is that your specific title?
Dean: *smirks* Take it back to your cabin to find out?
Chloe: No thanks. Anything else you wanted?
Dean: You.
Chloe: What?
Dean: You... be careful out there. Stay inside at night. Lock the doors.
Chloe: *snort* Why, because you might break in and molest me?
Dean: Trying to protect you.
Chloe: I can do that myself, thank you.
Dean: I'm serious about locking your door!
Chloe: Not afraid of the dark!
Dean: God, you've got a mouth on you.
Chloe: *thinks* All the better to eat you with?
Dean: Look, I'm just looking out for your safety. There've been reports of wolves in the area.
Chloe: I'm pretty sure that I've seen enough documentaries on wolves to know that they don't pick locks.
Dean: Really?
Chloe: Yeah. Enough to know that they're mostly afraid of people.
Dean: You know, you shouldn’t believe everything you see on the Discovery Channel, Babe. Some wolves aren't like that at all. Some just want a good beer and a romp in the sheets.
Chloe: You sure you're a ranger?
Dean: Um?
Chloe: Because you're wearing biker boots and ratty jeans. Kind of a strange uniform for a ranger.
Dean: Uh . . . Earth good? Forest fires bad? Wear bells to scare off bears while hiking?
Chloe: Wear bells?
Dean: Don't worry Babe. I could protect you from bears. Up close . . . Personal. . .
Chloe: The only way I want you protecting me from bears is if you get eaten
instead of me.
Dean: Nah, I'll protect you from them. Besides, bears don't like me.
Chloe: O-kay. Dare I ask why?
Dean: Um... because I'm a... ranger?
Chloe: ... and why are you calling me babe?
Dean: Because you are.
Chloe: *blinks*
Dean: ... a babe. You're hot, hello?
Chloe: Does that line work on all the women you hit on?
Dean: Who said I'm hitting on you?
Chloe: What happened to "up close and personal" with the bears?
Dean: Forget the bears. I just like the "being alone" part with you.
Chloe: If you like being alone, I can totally help you with that.
Dean: Yeah?
Chloe: You stay here. And I'll be in my cabin.
Dean: Fine! At least you'll be safe there!
Chloe: Who said I was going to lock my door?
Dean: *I* did. You're going to.
Chloe: Overprotective much? *walks away*
Dean: *growls* Figures. My mate wears hottie blinders.
Day 18.
I miss the internet.
Day 19
I miss my cell phone.
Day 20
Stupid Lex.
Day 21
Stupid Clark.
Day 22.
Stupid Lana.
Day 23.
Is stupid Lana an oxymoron?
For that matter, is stupid Clark?
Day 24.
Saw a wolf today while out hiking. Wolves aren't supposed to look that intelligent, are they?
Day 25
Strange noises at night.
Day 26.
General store manager: Oh! You're alive!
Chloe: Last time I checked. Although you might want to point me to the local morgue so that I can make nice with the coroner. It always freaks people out when I wake up after they've opened my ribcage..
General store manager: What?
Chloe: *blinks innocently * nothing. Nevermind.
***
Went into town. Talked with lady from general store. She must be off her gourd, though. Said that the noises come from the werewolves.
She likes the sweater and wants more. Proof that she really is off her gourd.
Day 27.
Saw Internet cafe yesterday. Went back into town today. E-mailed Lois for sweater.
Day 28.
Librarian: You're the girl who lives out in the woods.
Chloe: What am I? The talk of the town?
Librarian: You might say that.
***
Went to library. Apparently, whole town thinks there are werewolves in the woods. They're taking bets to see how soon I'll be eviscerated.
Day 29.
Nice man at library wants me to be eviscerated on Thursday. If he wins the pot, he can afford to take a vacation to Maine and see his sister.
I put a 10 spot in the pot. The only day left was next Tuesday. Kinda wigged him out, I think.
***
Librarian: You want in?
Chloe: Why not. Things've been a bit slow since I got here.
Librarian: . . .
Chloe: Now if I am eviscerated next Tuesday, I'll be around to collect my winnings by that afternoon. Once I've managed to calm down the mortician.
Day 30
Saw "werewolves.” They were in an open field near the cabin. One of them is the wolf that I saw on my hike.
Day 31.
Am bored. Taking to watching Werewolves from the roof of the cabin. There are three of them. I think they may have a den nearby. Very intelligent. But still just wolves.
Am writing my uncle to see if he will send night vision goggles, so that I can better watch wolves.
***
Excerpt of letter from C. Sullivan to S. Lane.
Dearest Uncle,
Are you *sure * you can't get me a long-range ballistic missile? At the very least, re-route one of the ones that you were going to launch into the ocean? It's not like it would be missed. Just point it at that castle in Smallville.
We could even blame it on another meteor shower.
It would work, I tell you! All you have to do is say the word *meteor * and the local sherriff's IQ takes a fifty-point dive.
Day 32.
Chloe: Did that guy just put a ten-spot onto the evisceration poll?
Librarian: Funny you should ask.
***
Went to town. Saw Lefty three-fingers. Asked about him at library. Said he put a ten-spot on my death for next Tuesday also.
Good thing the cabin is in a secret location. I don't think I'll go into town again. May have to take the bug over the mountain to the next town over.
Summary: 100 very bizarre days in the life of a smallish person of inquisitve nature.
Author: C. Sullivan (as interpreted by pen37 and Clarksmuse)
Fandoms: Smallville/Supernatural/DCU
Pairing:Chloe/Dean
Rating: Pg
Day 1-15, Day 16-32, Day 33-41, Day 42-59, Day 60-68, Day 69 70-84, Day 85-100.
Day 16
General store owner: Hello, welcome to last-chance rocky mountain general store.
Chloe: My, that sounds ominous.
General store owner: Doesn't it? And what a nice sweater!
Chloe: . . . what are you smoking?
General store owner: Of the two of us, only you're going out into the woods. Therefore, I'll be the one to judge who is crazy here or not.
Chloe: You've obviously never been menaced by a chainsaw-wielding telekinetic, have you?
General store owner: Where you're going, I hope you brought him with you.
***
Gave sweater to this nice lady at the general store in exchange for a map to the cabin. She told me that there was something ominous in the woods.
Ominous wouldn't scare your average Smallville fifth grader.
Day 17
Met the local park ranger. Should say, met the local hottie McRanger. Name is Dean. He told me to stay inside at night and lock the doors.
Nice ranger. Kinda full of himself. Until he's had to face down an evil Kryptonian robot, he shouldn't tell me what to do.
***
Dean: Mine.
Chloe: Excuse me?
Dean: Oh, er. Hi. I'm Dean Winchester.
Chloe: And what are you supposed to be? A forest ranger?
Dean: Exactly. Smokey Bear. Hug a tree. Only you can prevent forest fires. Watch out for rabid squirrels.
Chloe: O-kay?
Dean: *stares intently at her*
Chloe: Do I have something between my teeth?
Dean: Huh? What?
Chloe: Boy, for a ranger, you don't pay much attention.
Dean: Depends on what I'm looking at.
Chloe: Uh huh. Dream on.
Dean: I dunno. I can dream pretty big.
Chloe: *sigh* Was there a reason why you stopped me?
Dean: *mutters* So I can take you back to my place for a long game of Doctor?
Chloe: What was that?
Dean: Er, I mean... Here on business or pleasure? *smirk*
Chloe: Depends on your outlook.
Dean: *smirks wider* I can make it worth your while.
Chloe: ...
Dean: Even protect you from the things that go bump in the night.
Chloe: What, in the forest?
Dean: Yeah. Those big nasty things that make you wanna lock the door and crawl under the covers... Seems like a fun thing to do.
Chloe: You don't seem like a ranger.
Dean: Really?
Chloe: You seem like a wolf.
Dean: Er?
Chloe: You know . . . one of those guys in the bars who is forever trying to pick up desperate women using bad pickup lines.
Dean: You have no idea.
Chloe: So do I look desperate to you?
Dean: Well, you *are* just south of Nowheresville all by yourself. Alone with a hunky wo-- ranger.
Chloe: Woranger? Is that your specific title?
Dean: *smirks* Take it back to your cabin to find out?
Chloe: No thanks. Anything else you wanted?
Dean: You.
Chloe: What?
Dean: You... be careful out there. Stay inside at night. Lock the doors.
Chloe: *snort* Why, because you might break in and molest me?
Dean: Trying to protect you.
Chloe: I can do that myself, thank you.
Dean: I'm serious about locking your door!
Chloe: Not afraid of the dark!
Dean: God, you've got a mouth on you.
Chloe: *thinks* All the better to eat you with?
Dean: Look, I'm just looking out for your safety. There've been reports of wolves in the area.
Chloe: I'm pretty sure that I've seen enough documentaries on wolves to know that they don't pick locks.
Dean: Really?
Chloe: Yeah. Enough to know that they're mostly afraid of people.
Dean: You know, you shouldn’t believe everything you see on the Discovery Channel, Babe. Some wolves aren't like that at all. Some just want a good beer and a romp in the sheets.
Chloe: You sure you're a ranger?
Dean: Um?
Chloe: Because you're wearing biker boots and ratty jeans. Kind of a strange uniform for a ranger.
Dean: Uh . . . Earth good? Forest fires bad? Wear bells to scare off bears while hiking?
Chloe: Wear bells?
Dean: Don't worry Babe. I could protect you from bears. Up close . . . Personal. . .
Chloe: The only way I want you protecting me from bears is if you get eaten
instead of me.
Dean: Nah, I'll protect you from them. Besides, bears don't like me.
Chloe: O-kay. Dare I ask why?
Dean: Um... because I'm a... ranger?
Chloe: ... and why are you calling me babe?
Dean: Because you are.
Chloe: *blinks*
Dean: ... a babe. You're hot, hello?
Chloe: Does that line work on all the women you hit on?
Dean: Who said I'm hitting on you?
Chloe: What happened to "up close and personal" with the bears?
Dean: Forget the bears. I just like the "being alone" part with you.
Chloe: If you like being alone, I can totally help you with that.
Dean: Yeah?
Chloe: You stay here. And I'll be in my cabin.
Dean: Fine! At least you'll be safe there!
Chloe: Who said I was going to lock my door?
Dean: *I* did. You're going to.
Chloe: Overprotective much? *walks away*
Dean: *growls* Figures. My mate wears hottie blinders.
Day 18.
I miss the internet.
Day 19
I miss my cell phone.
Day 20
Stupid Lex.
Day 21
Stupid Clark.
Day 22.
Stupid Lana.
Day 23.
Is stupid Lana an oxymoron?
For that matter, is stupid Clark?
Day 24.
Saw a wolf today while out hiking. Wolves aren't supposed to look that intelligent, are they?
Day 25
Strange noises at night.
Day 26.
General store manager: Oh! You're alive!
Chloe: Last time I checked. Although you might want to point me to the local morgue so that I can make nice with the coroner. It always freaks people out when I wake up after they've opened my ribcage..
General store manager: What?
Chloe: *blinks innocently * nothing. Nevermind.
***
Went into town. Talked with lady from general store. She must be off her gourd, though. Said that the noises come from the werewolves.
She likes the sweater and wants more. Proof that she really is off her gourd.
Day 27.
Saw Internet cafe yesterday. Went back into town today. E-mailed Lois for sweater.
Day 28.
Librarian: You're the girl who lives out in the woods.
Chloe: What am I? The talk of the town?
Librarian: You might say that.
***
Went to library. Apparently, whole town thinks there are werewolves in the woods. They're taking bets to see how soon I'll be eviscerated.
Day 29.
Nice man at library wants me to be eviscerated on Thursday. If he wins the pot, he can afford to take a vacation to Maine and see his sister.
I put a 10 spot in the pot. The only day left was next Tuesday. Kinda wigged him out, I think.
***
Librarian: You want in?
Chloe: Why not. Things've been a bit slow since I got here.
Librarian: . . .
Chloe: Now if I am eviscerated next Tuesday, I'll be around to collect my winnings by that afternoon. Once I've managed to calm down the mortician.
Day 30
Saw "werewolves.” They were in an open field near the cabin. One of them is the wolf that I saw on my hike.
Day 31.
Am bored. Taking to watching Werewolves from the roof of the cabin. There are three of them. I think they may have a den nearby. Very intelligent. But still just wolves.
Am writing my uncle to see if he will send night vision goggles, so that I can better watch wolves.
***
Excerpt of letter from C. Sullivan to S. Lane.
Dearest Uncle,
Are you *sure * you can't get me a long-range ballistic missile? At the very least, re-route one of the ones that you were going to launch into the ocean? It's not like it would be missed. Just point it at that castle in Smallville.
We could even blame it on another meteor shower.
It would work, I tell you! All you have to do is say the word *meteor * and the local sherriff's IQ takes a fifty-point dive.
Day 32.
Chloe: Did that guy just put a ten-spot onto the evisceration poll?
Librarian: Funny you should ask.
***
Went to town. Saw Lefty three-fingers. Asked about him at library. Said he put a ten-spot on my death for next Tuesday also.
Good thing the cabin is in a secret location. I don't think I'll go into town again. May have to take the bug over the mountain to the next town over.