Oh Hai Thar Cross, I Will Be Your Bearer This Eve

[pdragon76]

So I've been kinda sorta half-seeing this guy Deaks* for the last month or so. Fly in/fly out mechanic, smart, funny, sweet, attentive, and more importantly -- he's not bugfuck insane paranoid. Which is a refreshing change for me this year. I actually like this guy.

Comments

[ultraviolet9a]

Sweetheart, you ARE normal. *frown* Extraordinary, of course, but normal too. Sane. You know what I mean?

And you say you've earned that cross, but I say you earned the pride that goes with it, and your life.

Also, FIS. *grin*

(we should chat soon. I have been MIA.)

[pdragon76]

Thank you, baby.

We shall chat soon. Miss you, love you. *smish*

[digitalwave]

Sweetie, you've worked damned hard to be where you are right now and there should be nothing but tons of pride for that. If someone is uncomfortable with your not drinking now, well, that's their shortcoming and problem, not yours. True friends will just be happy as hell for you that you're healthy now.

As for the boy problem? Corny as it sounds, just follow your bliss. Go where your heart is telling you you'll be the happiest. Because, sweetie, you've earned that in your life. :)

*hugs*

[pdragon76]

Thank you, babe. I broke up with the mechanic this morning. I feel bad because we'd talked through all that stuff from last week and he was very angry at me for leading him on, but I feel good because I'm not leading him on anymore, you know? And I think the drinking thing would have ended up being an issue for him, in spite of his insistence to the contrary.

Onward and upward. Hopefully for him, too. He was a nice guy. He deserves someone who appreciates that more than I did.

[unplugged32]

You can never have a drink again and I can never again eat an entire cheesecake on my own because both of these things will kill us. My point is that we all have our crosses to bear, they actually make us stronger and there is really no place in our lives for people who say 'come on, just one bite/drink'. That said, there are alot more people who want to support us than don't, it's just the ones who don't care/poke fun/are stupid tend to stand out more, that's why we notice them/feel uncomfortable and so forth. If I had a nickel for everyone who tells me 'trust me, you're gonna put all those kilos back' I'd actually still be poor, it's just that the way they look at you, judge you and so forth hurts so it stands out. I'm not sure that Deaks won't call you back because of that though, if he doesn't, it might simply be that he picked up on the 'I might wanna be with FIS' vibe you were giving off;) Either way, you're amazing and you're an inspiration to all of us struggling with one kind of addiction or another so thanks:)

{{hugs}}

[pdragon76]

Deaks did, in fact, call me and bend over backwards to undo his rather tool-ish statement. I thought about it for a few more days, but I broke up with him this morning.

I cannot deny my attraction to FIS. And despite the fact there are a whole swag of stumbling blocks to ACTING on that, including the fact that we have a wonderful friendship at stake and we work together (BIG NO-NO, DRAGONS), it would be really unfair of me to keep seeing Deaks under these circumstances. No matter how much I enjoy his company and his kisses.

The conversation was kinda yucky. But it's done now.

In terms of the addiction thing...it's really easy, I'm sure you'll agree, to feel very alone in your addiction. To forget that many, many other people are struggling with their demons, too. More people than not. And I thank you so very much for helping me to feel less alone with your comment. I hope when I post about stuff like this, I can do the same for other people.

[emeraldus]

IMHO, if using alcohol as a social crutch is what "normal" people do, I'll happily remain abnormal.

[pdragon76]

Australia as a whole has such a major drinking problem. That Irish Guy once told me that Australia has Ireland beat with its drinking culture. At least in Ireland, people go OUT to drink. Here, you're regarded with suspicion if you don't have a half-drunk carton in your fridge and a beer in your hand by midday. No matter where you are.

West Oz is especially redneck in this regard. I've had people feign calls to the anti-terrorist hotline on their cell phones when I turn down drinks.

NOT HELPING, ASSHOLES.

That being said, I am very lucky to have a strong social circle of extremely good mates who are extraordinarily sensitive to my needs in this regard. Just frustrating when I try to step out of that circle and meet men, I guess.

[thatgirlsix]

Oh, honey.

But sometimes...I just miss feeling normal. Sometimes I really want to feel like those normal people. *points to all the people in the bars*That doesn't mean "normal". It doesn't mean you're less normal or they're more normal. It means you made the choice that was best for you. It doesn't make you any less fun either. And this is coming from someone who chooses not to drink not because of any trouble with certain liquids but because I just don't like how it makes me feel. (Of course, being the child of an alcohol influenced my decision, but still ... ) I think it's easy to look in a bar and see that everyone is drinking; but if you take all of the people in that bar who are drinking and drop them in to the population of mixed company, you'd see that they aren't as numbered as you think they are. It's a biased sample, if you get what I mean

[pdragon76]

I had my mate Hells Bells sitting in my kitchen yesterday roaring with laughter about my complaints last year that I didn't attract any men in my life