Oh Hai Thar Cross, I Will Be Your Bearer This Eve
So I've been kinda sorta half-seeing this guy Deaks* for the last month or so. Fly in/fly out mechanic, smart, funny, sweet, attentive, and more importantly -- he's not bugfuck insane paranoid. Which is a refreshing change for me this year. I actually like this guy.
( But I had a bit of a crisis of conviction this afternoon. )
( But I had a bit of a crisis of conviction this afternoon. )
I gave her the stink eye and said: "YOUR APPRECIATION OF IRONY IS NOT HELPING ME FIX THIS SITUATION."
I don't wish I was still drinking. Okay, that is a lie. I sometimes wish I could drink normally and in moderation like 90% of the population seems capable of doing. But I know I can't, and I know that if I tried to, I would be back where I was five years ago. And that was a very dark place indeed. So no. I know it's not an option for me. And I know that everyone in life has their handicaps. I can intellectually cop that, but emotionally I just sometimes feel like mine is stapled to my forehead like a picket sign saying: DAMAGED GOODS, DO NOT APPROACH.
And not BELIEVING that...yeah. Sometimes it's hard to not start believing it, when people say things like Deaks did
Y'all know I have a wonderful support base here in Perth, because I talk about them often. And I am very thankful for them. I just wish it wasn't such a minefield stepping out of that inner circle sometimes.
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