Life and Breath Part 25
Title: Life and Breath
Author: Pink Rabbit Productions
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Part: 25
Date: 11 Jan, 2010
Rating: R -- NC-17
Disclaimer: The characters and situations belong to CBS, Proctor and Gamble, and Telenext. The actual arrangement of words, however, remains my own. There is likely to be all female romantic and sexual activity ahead, so if this is likely to get you, me, or anybody else arrested should you take a gander, or if you find this offensive, please move along.
Archiving: The Pink Rabbit Consortium
Spoilers: Some early scenes definitely, plus anything through the spa trip is fair game.
Timeline: Don't have an exact scene where it takes off, but it's set after the spa trip, before Rafe's release from the halfway house, & after Natalia admits she's in love with Olivia to Father Ray.
Earlier Parts: | Part 1 (Prologue) | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 |
Author's Note: My apologies for how long it's been between posts. That wasn't the plan, but best plans of bunnies and women and all that. The joys of living a life where currently the only stable fact is how very unstable things are.
Author's Note #2: Alas, I had to cut this scene into two parts due to LJ's length limits. Sorry about that. Not my preference. Please imagine that Parts 24-25 are in the same document.
Life and Breath
by Pink Rabbit Productions
Part25
Natalia had used the time while Olivia was turned away to slip into bed. Her robe was tossed across the foot and bare shoulders peeked out from under the comforter, the smooth tan line broken only by the narrow straps of the borrowed tank top. As their eyes met, the younger woman's mouth turned up in a shy smile while dark eyes reflected less nervousness than Olivia would have predicted. Amazing, considering her own knees were threatening to knock together in an adrenaline-driven, rhumba beat.
Astounded by her own temerity, Natalia watched as Olivia absorbed the change that had taken place during the brief time while she'd been turned away. The older woman took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled, seeming to settle herself before silently walking back to the bed where she took a seat.
"You absolutely sure?" Olivia questioned, her tone hesitant, wanting more than she knew how to express, but also terrified of making a mistake or pushing too fast. As much as she wanted to hold and touch the other woman, she wasn't willing to damage their future by moving too quickly.
Reaching out, Natalia tangled her fingers with Olivia's toying with her hand, feeling the strength and softness that were both so much a part of her. "More sure than I've ever been about anything in my life," she whispered. It was the absolute truth. Plenty of things scared her, but this was Olivia, hearth and home given life and breath. Nothing to be feared here. She tugged gently on the hand bound to her own, unbalancing Olivia enough that she toppled several inches until she stopped her fall with her other hand.
Olivia's breath caught as she found herself lost in warm, brown eyes. "We don't have to do anything-anything that makes you uncomfortable," she felt the need to reassure the other woman. She didn't think she could stand it if Natalia were to regret anything that happened between them.
"I know," Natalia reassured Olivia, feeling oddly like the more experienced of the two of them in some strange way. Maybe it was because she had no fear of overstepping some unseen boundary the way the other woman clearly did. "And conversely," she whispered as she lifted Olivia's hand to her mouth to press soft kisses across the back of her knuckles, "we get to do anything we want." She heard the way the other woman sucked in air and felt the tension that rippled through her. Dark eyes tipped up again, finding green and wisely seeing the trepidation lurking in that cut-crystal gaze. "There is nothing you can do that will drive me away, Olivia," she felt the need to reassure the other woman. "I trust you completely, and I want nothing more than to be with you." She tugged again on the hand twined with her own. "Now come here."
A tiny shiver slid over Olivia's skin in response to the gentle note of command in the other woman's voice. "I'm not gonna be on top in this relationship, am I?" she drawled before she could think better of it, then winced at her own crudity, faint though it was.
Natalia only chuckled softly. "Oh, I think you'll get your chance," she riposted neatly and tugged again.
Momentarily resisting the pressure, Olivia took the time to flick off the bedside lamp. Later, there would be time for lights and careful moments of intense study and a hundred other things, but for the moment, they needed the closing warmth of darkness and a private cocoon that left them as the only entities in the universe. "I love you," she whispered softly, her voice quavering ever so slightly with the intensity of emotion.
"I know," Natalia admitted, amazed by her own confidence. Olivia's love slid through her, wrapping her in its embrace, making her feel cherished in a way she'd barely even guessed was possible. "That's why I'm here," she breathed, "because I know how you feel...and how I feel...and that this is where we both belong." She tugged a final time, the pressure insistent, no longer accepting any resistance or delays.
This time Olivia allowed herself to be drawn forward, heart slamming against her ribs as she willingly slipped under the covers, fine Egyptian cotton suddenly feeling harsh against her skin in comparison to the gentle hand that stroked her upper arm and the smooth calf that brushed her lower legs.
They were really doing this. Really-
And then all thought evaporated as Natalia laid claim to her mouth with a gentleness and sweetness she'd barely even had the temerity to dream of. Soft, slow, but never tentative, the kiss that followed wove a new world around them, one made of velvet lips, roving hands, and featherlight caresses.
"I love you," Natalia breathed near a delicate ear, the soft, shuddering whisper possibly the most arousing sound Olivia had ever heard.
Until Natalia hooked a smooth calf around her thigh, pulling firmly, the pressure bringing overheated bodies together and drawing a mutual moan. Then that became the most arousing sound ever, though Olivia strongly suspected it wouldn't hold the title long. Not with all the temptations they had yet to taste.
"God, Natalia," Olivia groaned in the tiny beat before their lips met again. Pleasure throbbed and gathered, centering itself in intense waves before exploding outward again, sliding over skin and infusing muscle and bone. She'd suspected it would be like this when they finally stepped over the line; passionate, addictive, and so very pleasurable it was like finding the last piece of the puzzle to her own soul.
Unable to resist the urge to touch, Natalia trailed her hands down the line of Olivia's throat and along the breadth of her shoulders before dropping her hands lower to find the bottom edge of her tank top. Slipping her hands under the soft knit fabric, she spread her palms against fine flesh, unconsciously rolling more onto her back and drawing Olivia along so the taller woman was angled partially above her and partially to one side. Strong hands skimmed higher, sensitive fingertips tracking flexing runs of muscle, neatly trimmed nails occasionally scoring soft flesh.
Olivia arched into the flowing caresses like a particularly happy cat pressing into a petting hand. At the same time, she ducked her head, murmuring soft words of devotion and desire against the warmth of Natalia's throat, the whispered promises coming between silky kisses and tiny licks that tasted faintly of salt and clean skin.
Amazed by the rush of emotion underlying the heated arousal-not just love, but utter and complete trust-Natalia tipped her head back to open her throat to exploring lips. It was so easy to lose herself in the moment and so natural to investigate the breadth of Olivia's back, testing the flow of muscles, the faint padding of sleek curves. Where Gus had been almost uncomfortably hard-all crushing muscle and sharp bone-and Frank had been doughy soft-a once lean man who'd eaten too many free fast food burgers and done too little time in the police gym-Olivia was the perfect combination of forgiving flesh overlaying taut sinew and solid bone.
Drawn by the need for more contact, Natalia trailed her hands from the jut of Olivia's shoulderblades, down and around, long, fine-boned fingers seeking out and shaping to the sheer glory of unbound breasts. Warm flesh heated and firmed as she explored with gentle strokes, finding the beginning of the sweet curve under Olivia's arm, then trailing along the line of muscle, fingers spreading to cup and lay claim.
Sinking into the possessive hold, Olivia hissed an unintelligible sound into the hollow of Natalia's throat and a hard shudder shook her from head to toe. Natalia: the scent and taste of the other woman swirled around her, filling her senses and ramping up a raw hunger that was as much emotional as it was physical. This was where she'd always been meant to be and the sheer pleasure of it rushed through her with the intensity of a wildfire in dry tinder, the fingers sliding over her skin acting like a hot desert sirocco, driving the flames higher and faster with every passing caress.
Dear god, how had she resisted the siren's call of this particular brand of heaven? And having found it, she vowed that nothing would take it from her. Then strong hands firmed their grip on her body, hauling her closer and coherent thought became a thing of the past.
Weight shifting with the welcome pressure, Olivia caught herself on one hand and pressed a firm knee between Natalia's thighs as she struggled to maintain some semblance of balance, unwittingly grinding against swollen, aching flesh.
Suddenly Olivia wasn't the only one groaning and shuddering. A sharp gasp was driven from Natalia's lungs and slim fingers dug in and clung as sensation rolled through her in surging waves. She whispered the other woman's name on a desperate, ragged note, her tone somewhere between a command and a plea.
"I'm here," Olivia assured her as she cupped one hand under Natalia's upper back and braced the other on the mattress. Pushing up, she found dark eyes in the thin light. "You okay?" she breathed, terrified she'd unwittingly caused some hurt or fright in her inexperience.
Slim hands rose, framing Olivia's face to pull her into a hard kiss as Natalia trapped her lover's thigh between her own to prevent her from pulling away. "Better than okay," she exhaled, then shared another quick, firm kiss before letting go.
The dimpled smile that followed was all the confirmation that Olivia needed. Full lips turned up in an answering grin and she leaned into the body rolling restlessly beneath her. Reclaiming soft lips, her mouth moved against Natalia's in sweet mimicry of the rhythm their bodies instinctively adopted, promising every pleasure imaginable while the sparking friction created by their gentle thrust and parry began delivering on the sensual covenant.
Perfection. The single word slid through Olivia's brain. They didn't know exactly what they were doing, but it seemed like they were doing it well to judge by the arousal running thick in her blood and the way Natalia was moaning and moving with her.
Which was why the older woman was caught by surprise when the hands sliding over her body suddenly pushed instead of pulling. "Wha'?" she groaned dazedly as she shoved herself up until she was on her knees, straddling one of Natalia's thighs. She understood a beat later as Natalia sat up and grabbed frantically for the bottom edge of her tank top and began plying it upward. Eager for the increased contact, Olivia finished the job, peeling the offending fabric off over her head before flinging it aside. Almost instantly, slim hands skimmed over her torso, exploring newly bared flesh, every bit of contact sending runners of pleasure over her skin. A soft, fluttering sigh escaped full lips and Olivia draped her arms around slim shoulders as she leaned into the gentle caresses, astounded by how unbelievably arousing it was to know that it was Natalia touching her so eagerly.
Then Natalia leaned even closer. Warm breath fluttered over Olivia's chest a moment before she felt the press of soft lips over her breastbone. Strong hands fitted themselves to the curve of her ribs, supporting her when she seriously considered just toppling over in response to the rich swell of sensation. "Oh, sweetie," she exhaled as she buried her nose in wild tumble of Natalia's hair.
Natalia had never really understood the male obsession with breasts-hers in particular, but all of them in general-but suddenly surrounded by the warmth, smell, even taste of Olivia, the feel her body, the sound of her heart and breathing, the awareness of flesh that quivered and firmed in response to soft, exploratory kisses, she understood how a person could get obsessed even addicted to the heady mix of power and pleasure that came with touching a woman so intimately. It was slow-working and subtle, wending its way inside, threading itself through a body until it was everything. Turning her head to mouth soft flesh, the taste of skin and perfume on her tongue, it struck Natalia that they'd been on this road for a long time. It was all inevitable somehow, that the white-hot flare of emotion that had been with them from the beginning should turn from anger and bitter resentment to this.
To the purest love she'd ever felt, the richest strain of desire, the deepest level of trust.
Tightening her hold, Natalia pulled Olivia a little closer, smiling at the words of love and affection being whispered in her ear. Moving her hands around to Olivia's back she followed the graceful track of her spine down until her fingers slipped under the loose waistband of worn pajama bottoms. Fine-boned hands spread wide, clinging to soft curves with possessive strength. She absorbed the shiver that worked its way through her lover, tasted the vibration deep in her chest that was almost a purr.
She could definitely get used to this.
Then suddenly Olivia's fingers threaded more deeply into her hair, applying just enough pressure to bring Natalia up out of her self-imposed bit of heaven. The kneeling woman ducked her head and Natalia found her mouth claimed, soft lips plundered, the depths of her explored. And for the first time in her life, she not only allowed it, but thrived on the sweet sense of being possessed. At the same time, the hands in her hair slipped lower, one curling into the soft fabric of her borrowed tank top at the narrow spot between her shoulders. Olivia's fingers worked, gathering thin knit and pulling it higher, baring Natalia's back to the cool, night air and then to the hand that broke the chill by spreading wide just below her shoulders.
Olivia felt the shiver that slid through Natalia and pulled back fractionally, staring down into shadowed features. "Feeling a little overdressed?" she questioned after a beat.
Natalia nodded slowly, raising her arms when Olivia moved to pull the garment off. It slipped free and Olivia flung it aside, then they flowed back together, clinging tightly, content for the moment to glory in the press of naked skin against naked skin.
"Feels so good," Olivia whispered into the warmth of Natalia's hair.
"And so right," Natalia added, her voice making it both a statement and a question.
"Yeah," Olivia confirmed, then mouths met again, the kisses sweet and giving, offering everything and demanding nothing. As the minutes passed, they grew more comfortable and the want spun tighter and tighter. Hearts beat harder and hands explored, learning the new landscape before them as bodies moved together in a slow rhythm. The remaining barriers of thin pajamas and light shorts were pushed down, then kicked aside.
If someone had asked Natalia even an hour before who would take the lead when she and Olivia finally made love, she would have answered Olivia without even a trace of doubt, but now, feeling absolutely safe and trusted and aware of her lover's fears of overstepping old boundaries she didn't quite believe had fallen, she found herself drawing uncertain hands to her own body.
"You're sure?" Olivia felt the need to question one last time.
Silly question, the thought went through Natalia's head, but at the same time, she smiled broadly, deeply flattered by the other woman's caring. However... "More sure than I've ever been in my life. I want this," she said very softly, wanting to give Olivia the same sense of security and of being treasured that the other woman had so graciously offered her. She peered deeply into shadowed green eyes and fitted a hand to the flare of her lover's hips, urging her closer. "But more than that, I want you," she added, her voice low and serious, "every part of you...the good and the bad...the sweet and sometimes sarcastic...the brilliant and occasionally grumpy...the beautiful...supportive...amazing woman I've fallen in love with." Closing the distance between them, she laid the softest of kisses onto full lips and brought the hand at Olivia's hip around, spreading it wide against the smooth plain of her stomach, pressuring just firmly enough to ease her onto her back.
"Natalia?" Olivia whimpered through the mating of their mouths, her tone gently questioning. Caught in a haze of love and desire, her head spun at such a rate and her body was so on fire that coherent thought wasn't an option.
"Shhh," the younger woman hushed, pulling back just enough to flutter her lips along Olivia's cheek. Her hand danced and played over the gentle swell of her lover's stomach, stroking, petting and moving steadily lower until the very tips of her fingers brushed downy soft hair.
Another tiny whimper escaped Olivia's lips and green eyes snapped closed as she grabbed for Natalia's wrist, strong fingers clamping down on the narrow joint, halting her progress. "Natalia," she groaned, blinking rapidly in an effort to clear her head. She'd promised herself that she'd take care of the other woman, see to her every want or need. Somehow, losing herself completely in her own desire seemed to fall short of that ideal. "Together..." she whispered with supreme effort, her voice trembling nearly as hard as her body. "We should be...together..."
"We will be...we are," Natalia soothed, folding her free arm around Olivia's head and arcing her hand to tenderly pet auburn hair away from her lover's brow. "But you've done so much of the heavy lifting in this relationship," she whispered, shifting to peer down into jade eyes. She made no effort to shake free of the hand grasping her wrist. "Let me take care of you for a little while...show you how much I want this."
Utterly vulnerable, her expression every bit as naked as her body, Olivia stared up at her lover, hunting for any sign of unease or regret and seeing nothing but love shining back at her. She was so used to taking the lead with lovers, pushing for more, grabbing for the proverbial brass ring-and always missing, no matter how it might seem at first-that she wasn't quite sure how to react.
"Please," Natalia asked tenderly.
In that moment, Olivia was utterly lost.
Natalia felt the moment of surrender as strong fingers opened over her wrist, then slowly trailed up the length of her arm. The import of the silent offering washed over the younger woman. Olivia wasn't a woman who trusted or gave up control easily. She might have created the illusion with previous lovers, but no doubt she'd controlled the reins all the way. This time she made no effort to guide or press, simply allowed Natalia the pleasure of taking the lead and exploring at will.
The younger woman spread her hand slowly, fingers stretching to encompass soft flesh that rippled gently in response to her passing. This was different for both of them. A first. A return to a more innocent time in life.
"Kinda like being a virgin all over again," Olivia observed as though she'd read Natalia's mind.
A shy smile curved full lips. "Kinda," Natalia admitted, then leaned closer, her breath playing over her lover's face as she added, "Let's see if we can't make losing it a whole lot better this time."
And then suddenly Natalia was kissing Olivia again, tasting the contrasting textures of her mouth and the sweetness of her breath.
She was still kissing Olivia as her hand dipped lower, roaming in slow, concentric circles that ambled a little lower with each pass. Still kissing as she felt the quiver of taut muscle and tasted the soft gasp of anticipation. Still kissing as sensitive fingers dipped for the first time into slick heat and unbelievable softness.
So soft.
This new terrain was an odd combination of familiar and unknown, curves and textures she'd stroked before on her own body, but without the guide of sensitive nerve endings telling her where to touch and how.
Then Olivia moaned, clutching tightly at Natalia's shoulders as her hips instinctively found a counterpoint rhythm to caressing fingers.
Suddenly it was like those light caresses were falling on her own flesh, so intense was Natalia's response to the other woman's arousal. Dear Lord, she'd never guessed it might be possible to implode simply from the pleasure of touching another body. She stroked, teased, and explored this new playground with a profoundly gentle touch, amazed by the rightness of it. She was meant to be here like this, and always had been. Slipping her fingers deeper into clinging heat, she was rewarded by a spasming thrust and moan from her lover that sent an immediate answering sensation spinning through her with the power of an actual caress. Whimpering into the blending of their mouths, she stroked more firmly, her fingers gaining authority as she continued to learn what made her lover gasp and arch to meet her touch.
Then just as suddenly, Olivia rose up, pressing Natalia back with strong hands, a firm grip forcing her hand away from silky flesh and pressing it into the mattress. A thin sheen of sweat gleamed on smooth skin while strong features stood out in sharp relief.
Olivia shook her head slowly, her eyes wild, her chest heaving with ragged breaths. "No," she whispered almost inaudibly and shook her head again. "I need..." she trailed off. She needed to be with Natalia-at least this first time-needed to focus on sharing-on giving, not taking. She needed to be the person she could be with Natalia and not the one she'd been without her.
She was caught by surprise when Natalia reached out and tenderly brushed tendrils of loose hair away from her brow. "I know," she exhaled, brown eyes glinting with an otherworldly kind of understanding, then her lips quirked and she turned a dimpled smile on Olivia. "But don't think I won't be finishing that game sometime very soon," she promised.
Olivia's Mark II heart slammed into overdrive at the sensual pledge gleaming in dark eyes. She nodded unsteadily, amazed at her own ability to resist that kind of temptation. "God, I hope so," she admitted breathlessly, "because I want that..." Leaning close, she nuzzled the other woman's cheek, breathing in the sweet perfume of her skin. "I want to be with you in every way possible." She found the softness of Natalia's mouth, playing tag with her lips, first pursuing, then retreating, drawing Natalia into the chase, then chasing her in turn.
They played the game back and forth until finally Olivia peeled her mouth away, angling above Natalia, hand braced on the mattress on the opposite side of her body. She ducked her head, mouth playing over smooth skin, exploring the graceful arch of Natalia's throat, trailing along the line of her collarbone then back to dust featherlight kisses down the centerline of her sternum.
A low moan bubbled up from Natalia's chest and she threaded her fingers into cool silk hair, releasing all control as the warm, damp caresses meandered over her upper chest, painting slow motion erotic designs on her skin. The brush of Olivia's mouth was light, every caress achingly tender, the feel of her skin impossibly soft. She nuzzled the winding path of Natalia's collarbone, the point of her shoulder, the graceful slope of her breast, pausing here and there before moving on in search of new delights to taste.
It was like nothing Natalia had ever experienced-sweet, sexy, and totally focused on her pleasure. A shiver slid through her as Olivia moved lower to explore the striated curve of her ribs in minute detail. "I could get addicted to this," she admitted out loud.
"Good," Olivia murmured, her voice faintly muffled by the press of warm skin. She tipped her head up until she found the faint glitter of Natalia's eyes in the moonlight. "Because I can tell you I'm already addicted."
A smile played about full lips, the expression somehow simultaneously both so sweet it made Natalia melt and so knowing that it set her pulse racing.
"In fact," Olivia continued as she ducked her head again, the warmth of her breath flowing over Natalia's midsection. "I don't think I could survive if I never got to taste this again." Then a gently rough tongue flowed along the line of Natalia's ribs, down to outline the upper arch of taut abdominals. "And I know life wouldn't be worth living if I didn't get to do this over and over." Moving lower, she pressed a light kiss onto the small, coffee-colored birth mark on a slim hip, then smoothed her thumb over the spot as a delicate shudder worked its way through her lover.
After that, Olivia's voice melded with the darkness as she whispered descriptions of all the things she couldn't live without between soft licks and silky kisses. In the past, she'd done things that on the surface, might seem similar, enjoying the thrill of controlling lovers with her body, egging their passions on until they were hers to rule, but there was none of that with Natalia. No calculation or long-term plan, at least none more complicated than spending the rest of her life with the woman she loved. It was pure adoration and sensory pleasure as she lost herself in the taste and feel of the younger woman, wending this way and that, traveling wherever impulse took her.
Lost in a kind of heaven she'd never even guessed existed, Natalia clung mindlessly to Olivia as the world was swept away in a tide of pure sensation. It was hard to tell what made her pulse pound harder, the sensual praise and promises that seemed to trigger every fantasy she'd ever had or the silky soft caresses that flowed over her body, finding every erogenous zone on her body except the one that ached most fiercely.
"Olivia?" Natalia gasped at last when need was threatening to slide over into pain. Slim fingers tightened in silky hair, bringing her lover's head up until their eyes met. "Are you going to..." she trailed off, a heated blush suffusing her cheeks, uncertain how to ask the question burning in her brain and yet terrified Olivia might not back away if she didn't. A tiny moan escaped her lips as Olivia broke from her task, pushing up on her hands to slide up the length of her body, her every movement sinuous and graceful.
Then she laid the most tender and sensual of kisses on Natalia's gently parted lips, drinking in her breath and drawing the moment out. "Yes," was her only reply when the kiss finally broke. A tiny beat later her mouth was back on silky skin and skimming downward, slipping between full breasts, then following the shallow furrow that bisected taut abdominals before slipping lower still. As she moved, fine-boned fingers threaded into her hair and worked against her neck and shoulders, kneading like a supremely happy cat until Olivia thought she could almost hear a purr.
A sharp whimper was torn from Natalia and her head snapped back into the pillows as that soft, sleek caress laid claim to the very heart of her.
Olivia smoothed a hand up a firm thigh, then spread her hand possessively over the slight swell of Natalia's stomach, petting soothingly. Each stroke of her tongue was light, slowly gaining in confidence as she learned this new landscape and discovered which caresses brought soft moans and caused the fingers at her shoulders to curl and dig in.
Definitely a purr, the pleased thought went through Olivia's head a moment later as a low, rumbly moan echoed through the room and slim hips rolled under her slow, stroking caresses. She loved this; loved pleasing Natalia, feeling way she arched and moved with every touch, loved the wine-rich taste of her and the feel of every tiny quiver that vibrated delicate flesh.
Arching and rolling with the exploring caresses, Natalia pushed toward the hand that stroked lightly from the base of her belly downward, inviting the slow, sliding entrance Olivia's fingers made into her body. She'd never really liked the sensation before, tolerating it rather than wanting it, but Olivia was all softness-soft skin and softer caresses, her touching achingly light-and Natalia found herself thrusting slowly to meet exploring fingers as they pressed deeper into her body. There was physical tension from the steadily increasing desire, but no emotional pressure, only love and trust, and she found herself whispering so many things-Olivia's name, how it felt, the emotions that bound them together, anything and everything that ran through her mind.
With Natalia's loving litany playing in her ears, Olivia lost herself in flesh and the pleasure of love and sex twined together until they were indistinguishable.
The ultimate addiction.
Tiny moans escaping her lips, Natalia moved with the exploring caresses, her need coiling tighter with every passing moment, a watch spring wound nearly to its breaking point.
And she didn't want it to snap alone.
Painfully close to the breaking point, her body throbbing with ache and want, she nonetheless found the clarity of purpose to tighten her fingers in Olivia's hair and tug as she growled her lover's name on a low note of command. "Together," she whispered as green eyes tipped up to meet her gaze. Natalia put more pressure on the silky locks caught in her grasp-not enough to hurt, but enough to draw Olivia higher. "You said together," she reminded her lover, her voice carrying a hint of accusation.
Olivia ducked her head, brushing tender kisses over downy soft flesh as she allowed Natalia to tug her higher. "Mmm," she confirmed, lips dusting the point of her lover's chin as she sank into the softness of her body, drawn there by the slim calf that hooked around her hip and pulled her closer. "Together. Jus' forgot for a sec," she added. "Forget everythin' when I touch you," she mumbled even as she trailed soft kisses around the outline of Natalia's lips.
Then mouths met and limbs twined together, hands stroked and bodies fell into a gentle rhythm, moving together in slow syncopation. The rustle of fabric and the whisper of flesh moving against flesh blended with tender endearments and low moans, the sounds gaining in intensity along with the sensations driving both lovers.
"I love you," Olivia whispered as she released the hungry kiss, pulling back just enough to focus on brown eyes, seeing everything in that rich gaze that she'd ever dreamed of inspiring in a lover.
Overwhelmed by the love directed her way, Natalia was momentarily speechless, but then she found herself whispering, "I never knew it was possible to feel this much for another person." She spread her hand wide at the small of Olivia's back, pressuring their bodies more firmly together even as she stroked silky wet flesh.
A gasp, a thrust, hungry kisses, and hard shudders.
More kisses, more thrusts, more shudders.
For just a second, Olivia would have sworn she was outside her body looking down on their entwined forms, the sheer beauty of the sight enough to bring tears. And then she was back inside her body and lost in a conflagration of sensation so intense she could almost feel overstressed nerve endings spark and short out.
Natalia, meanwhile, was just lost, every part of her spun out and overloaded with pleasure until she suddenly she came apart. For the briefest moment it was as though she was nothing but free-floating molecules, each of them spinning in an ever-tightening orbit around Olivia Spencer until they were one and the same, somehow reassembled anew, floating a thousand miles above the earth, her mind and body existing at the whims of the woman whose flesh was bound so intimately to her own.
And then she was tumbling, falling back to earth and into Olivia, coming back to a body utterly devoid of oxygen. Clinging to her lover, she dragged air into her lungs and found herself shaking as she collapsed into the mattress.
"I love you," Olivia whispered over and over, changing the inflection with each repetition as though she was trying to find every possible permutation of the phrase, shifting the emphasis, raising this note then that, yet never making it a question, always a statement.
Burying her face in the curve of her lover's neck, Natalia couldn't contain a tiny, giddy laugh. "I love you...so much," she exhaled against the warmth of Olivia's throat, only the once, but with enough intensity to drive the point home.
"You really do," Olivia whispered, her tone full of wonder as she pushed up on her elbows to stare down at the younger woman.
Nodding, Natalia framed Olivia's face with her hands. "I really do," she confirmed and couldn't contain a dimpled smile. Pulling Olivia back to her, she buried her face in her neck as she enjoyed the feeling of being pressed skin to skin from head to toe. "I finally get it," she mumbled, her breath hot against soft skin.
Still breathing hard, her eyes glazed in the aftermath of passion, Olivia curved a gentle hand to the back of her lover's head, rolling onto her back and pulling Natalia along for the ride so the smaller woman was sprawled against her side. "I...uh..huh?" she questioned haltingly, uncertain she'd heard right. Her thought processes were pretty scattered and it seemed likely she'd misunderstood somehow.
"Sex," Natalia exhaled as she pushed up on one elbow to stare down at her lover. "I never really understood the whole obsession." She trailed a finger along the line of Olivia's jaw. "I mean...I just...it never seemed like it was worth the effort..." She shook her head slowly, feeling faintly overwhelmed by it all. "I get it now," she added breathlessly, "why someone would...I mean...to be with someone like that...so completely..." She felt the pull of muscles under her fingertips as Olivia smiled at that, then trailed her fingers lower, following the line of throat and shoulder before slowly exploring the gentle curve of a full breast. "It was never like this before...never so...overwhelming. And I never wanted it to go on forever," she explained in disjointed bursts, the admission easier because of the enveloping darkness, "to glory in another body...to just be with someone and touch them...and imagine all the things we'd..." She trailed off, suddenly embarrassed by all the places her mind was going-most of them regions long forbidden by society and the church even though they felt so right where Olivia was concerned.
"Tell me," Olivia coaxed as she let her fingers wander over the graceful planes of Natalia's face and into the silk tumble of her hair. "Please," she added, her voice low and intent when there was no immediate response.
The younger woman felt her cheeks heat, but she couldn't resist the gentle hand or quietly urging voice. "Everything," she whispered, uncertain she even had the words for the thoughts running through her brain. "I want everything with you...a home...a life..." Her voice dropped, the underlying tone raw and intense. "This..."
"This?" Olivia repeated, a tiny hint of laughter threaded through her voice.
Natalia felt her cheeks heat, amazed that saying it was somehow more embarrassing than actually doing it. "Making love with you," she clarified, some of the embarrassment slipping away just because it was Olivia hearing her confession.
"Really?" the other woman drawled so softly Natalia might almost have imagined it.
The gentle burn on Natalia's cheeks spiked up several degrees. "Really," she confirmed and leaned close enough that she could feel the warmth of Olivia's skin. She brushed a kiss onto the point of her lover's chin as she realized she was absently stroking the line of her ribs, unable to resist the drive to touch and explore. "I want to make love to you over and over," she whispered, the burn rising another few hundred degrees with each word. She leaned closer, dusting kisses along the line of Olivia's jaw, tasting her skin, then teasing her ear. "I want to touch every inch of you...kiss every inch of you-"
"Every inch?" Olivia rasped.
"Every. Single. Inch."
Olivia couldn't contain a tiny, ragged moan.
Natalia smiled and felt the embarrassment recede a bit as her lover trembled in her arms. "You want to know something else?"
The older woman made a small, strangled sound that Natalia took for a yes, and suddenly, not only did the embarrassment back off another notch, but she felt a little burst of confidence. "I want you with the lights off...the lights on...by candlelight...with morning sunlight streaming across us...I want to see you and touch you and taste you and be with you every way and everywhere possible."
Dear Lord, she wondered, amazed by her own temerity, who are you and what have you done with Natalia Rivera?
Olivia, meanwhile, twitched and exhaled a tiny whoof of air as though she'd been struck in the solar plexus.
When there was no other response, Natalia tensed, suddenly worried she'd misread the other woman's reaction. Maybe she'd made a mistake and Olivia hadn't actually enjoyed their lovemaking. Maybe she regretted it all and didn't know how to say so. "I...uh...how are you..." She flinched over the stupidity of the question she'd been about to ask and tried again. "I mean...did you..."
"Oh, I did," Olivia exhaled dazedly. Every touch light and tender, she brushed dark hair back from Natalia's brow, her hand trembling gently.
"It's just...you haven't said much," Natalia whispered nervously.
"That's because I'm currently brainless... boneless...and utterly blown away," Olivia said breathlessly, punctuating the admission with a tiny, giddy laugh. "I can barely think...much less tell you how much I..." She fell silent for a moment, silently struggling to find the words to explain how much making love had meant to her-how much Natalia meant to her. Slipping her fingers into thick, dark silk, she cupped the back of her lover's head, pulling her close enough to share a slow kiss. "You are amazing," she whispered when their lips parted. "Soft...sweet...so beautiful..." She kissed Natalia again, taking time with her lips, exploring, tasting, molding them to her own. "And I have never shared anything with anyone that meant even a tenth as much as being with you." Another slow kiss passed between them.
When their mouths parted, it was Natalia's turn to murmur a hesitant, "Really?"
"Really, absolutely, sincerely, definitely, truly, madly, insanely, honestly, amazingly," Olivia assured her with another tiny, overjoyed laugh.
"Sounds like your brain's starting to come back to life," Natalia chuckled, amused by Olivia's bit of wordplay.
"Mmmm, and the things it's thinking." Olivia tut-tutted, drawing a small laugh from her lover. She sprawled deeper into the mattress and tugged the disarrayed covers up over them. She wrapped her other arm around Natalia's shoulders to snuggle her close, the tension she'd been carrying for months finally unfurling and melting away. All along she'd feared something would happen and Natalia would walk away for one reason or another, but she knew how the other woman felt about sex. She wouldn't have come if she wasn't very serious.
"I want to hear them all," Natalia admitted, curling against Olivia's side. She felt her lover sink into the mattress even as her own body turned boneless with exhaustion. "But not tonight, I think."
"Been a long day," Olivia agreed, her voice growing muzzy.
Natalia sighed heavily. "Long...stressful." She ducked her head to press a warm kiss onto Olivia's chest. Wrapping the other woman more firmly in her hold, she spread her hands possessively against warm flesh and hooked a leg over a smoothly muscled thigh. "But wonderful too..." She looked up, grinning as she made out a hint of Olivia's features in the streamer of moonlight coming in through the nearby window.
"Beyond wonderful," Olivia confirmed, already starting to float a little. A bleary smile curved full lips.
"And only the beginning," Natalia mused aloud, smiling at the notion of spending the rest of her life finding ways to make Olivia Spencer tremble in her arms.
"I like the sound of that," Olivia admitted, "because I just wanna...." She trailed off, uncertain how to phrase what she wanted to say in a way that didn't risk embarrassing the other woman.
She needn't have worried. "Do this over and over again?" Natalia giggled, relaxing fully against the other woman and pillowing her cheek on a firm shoulder. She was getting better at this whole being comfortable with sex concept.
Olivia grinned. "Yeah, that." She nuzzled her lover's temple, pressing a kiss into the tumble of her hair, then heaved another sigh and let her eyes slide closed, exhaustion sweeping through her. "However...while the spirit is extraordinarily willing-"
"Body's getting a little on the weak side?" Natalia murmured.
"Mmhm," Olivia mumbled, opening one eye to peer down at her lover's silhouette. "You?"
"Kinda...yeah," Natalia had to admit. She pressed another of the soft kisses onto Olivia's upper chest, then settled her cheek over the spot, listening to the reassuring thrum of her lover's heart. "I mean, there's a part of me that wants to stay awake...talk...touch...make love again..."
"And then there's the post coital lassitude on top of a sixteen hour day?" Olivia murmured through a yawn.
"Yeah, that," Natalia sighed, knowingly echoing Olivia's earlier response. She smothered a yawn and snuggled deeper into Olivia's hold. "Besides...I like the idea of sleeping with you...and waking up with you." She stopped fighting to keep her eyes open and relaxed more heavily. "And sleeping with you again tomorrow night...complete with post coital lassitude." As she spoke, the words slowed, coming in disjointed syllables with longer pauses between.
"Make sure you put that on my calendar tomorrow...and every day after that...in pen," Olivia instructed. A sly smile curved full lips. "Don' ever wanna erase those plans."
"Consider it done..." Natalia slurred, the words fading as she spoke, trailing into silence, then soft, slow breathing. The last thing she heard before she slid off into sleep was a last, barely audible avowal of love from the woman holding her, then the world slid away in a wash of warm, welcoming darkness.
* * * * * *
TBC
Author: Pink Rabbit Productions
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Part: 25
Date: 11 Jan, 2010
Rating: R -- NC-17
Disclaimer: The characters and situations belong to CBS, Proctor and Gamble, and Telenext. The actual arrangement of words, however, remains my own. There is likely to be all female romantic and sexual activity ahead, so if this is likely to get you, me, or anybody else arrested should you take a gander, or if you find this offensive, please move along.
Archiving: The Pink Rabbit Consortium
Spoilers: Some early scenes definitely, plus anything through the spa trip is fair game.
Timeline: Don't have an exact scene where it takes off, but it's set after the spa trip, before Rafe's release from the halfway house, & after Natalia admits she's in love with Olivia to Father Ray.
Earlier Parts: | Part 1 (Prologue) | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 |
Author's Note: My apologies for how long it's been between posts. That wasn't the plan, but best plans of bunnies and women and all that. The joys of living a life where currently the only stable fact is how very unstable things are.
Author's Note #2: Alas, I had to cut this scene into two parts due to LJ's length limits. Sorry about that. Not my preference. Please imagine that Parts 24-25 are in the same document.
Life and Breath
by Pink Rabbit Productions
Part25
Natalia had used the time while Olivia was turned away to slip into bed. Her robe was tossed across the foot and bare shoulders peeked out from under the comforter, the smooth tan line broken only by the narrow straps of the borrowed tank top. As their eyes met, the younger woman's mouth turned up in a shy smile while dark eyes reflected less nervousness than Olivia would have predicted. Amazing, considering her own knees were threatening to knock together in an adrenaline-driven, rhumba beat.
Astounded by her own temerity, Natalia watched as Olivia absorbed the change that had taken place during the brief time while she'd been turned away. The older woman took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled, seeming to settle herself before silently walking back to the bed where she took a seat.
"You absolutely sure?" Olivia questioned, her tone hesitant, wanting more than she knew how to express, but also terrified of making a mistake or pushing too fast. As much as she wanted to hold and touch the other woman, she wasn't willing to damage their future by moving too quickly.
Reaching out, Natalia tangled her fingers with Olivia's toying with her hand, feeling the strength and softness that were both so much a part of her. "More sure than I've ever been about anything in my life," she whispered. It was the absolute truth. Plenty of things scared her, but this was Olivia, hearth and home given life and breath. Nothing to be feared here. She tugged gently on the hand bound to her own, unbalancing Olivia enough that she toppled several inches until she stopped her fall with her other hand.
Olivia's breath caught as she found herself lost in warm, brown eyes. "We don't have to do anything-anything that makes you uncomfortable," she felt the need to reassure the other woman. She didn't think she could stand it if Natalia were to regret anything that happened between them.
"I know," Natalia reassured Olivia, feeling oddly like the more experienced of the two of them in some strange way. Maybe it was because she had no fear of overstepping some unseen boundary the way the other woman clearly did. "And conversely," she whispered as she lifted Olivia's hand to her mouth to press soft kisses across the back of her knuckles, "we get to do anything we want." She heard the way the other woman sucked in air and felt the tension that rippled through her. Dark eyes tipped up again, finding green and wisely seeing the trepidation lurking in that cut-crystal gaze. "There is nothing you can do that will drive me away, Olivia," she felt the need to reassure the other woman. "I trust you completely, and I want nothing more than to be with you." She tugged again on the hand twined with her own. "Now come here."
A tiny shiver slid over Olivia's skin in response to the gentle note of command in the other woman's voice. "I'm not gonna be on top in this relationship, am I?" she drawled before she could think better of it, then winced at her own crudity, faint though it was.
Natalia only chuckled softly. "Oh, I think you'll get your chance," she riposted neatly and tugged again.
Momentarily resisting the pressure, Olivia took the time to flick off the bedside lamp. Later, there would be time for lights and careful moments of intense study and a hundred other things, but for the moment, they needed the closing warmth of darkness and a private cocoon that left them as the only entities in the universe. "I love you," she whispered softly, her voice quavering ever so slightly with the intensity of emotion.
"I know," Natalia admitted, amazed by her own confidence. Olivia's love slid through her, wrapping her in its embrace, making her feel cherished in a way she'd barely even guessed was possible. "That's why I'm here," she breathed, "because I know how you feel...and how I feel...and that this is where we both belong." She tugged a final time, the pressure insistent, no longer accepting any resistance or delays.
This time Olivia allowed herself to be drawn forward, heart slamming against her ribs as she willingly slipped under the covers, fine Egyptian cotton suddenly feeling harsh against her skin in comparison to the gentle hand that stroked her upper arm and the smooth calf that brushed her lower legs.
They were really doing this. Really-
And then all thought evaporated as Natalia laid claim to her mouth with a gentleness and sweetness she'd barely even had the temerity to dream of. Soft, slow, but never tentative, the kiss that followed wove a new world around them, one made of velvet lips, roving hands, and featherlight caresses.
"I love you," Natalia breathed near a delicate ear, the soft, shuddering whisper possibly the most arousing sound Olivia had ever heard.
Until Natalia hooked a smooth calf around her thigh, pulling firmly, the pressure bringing overheated bodies together and drawing a mutual moan. Then that became the most arousing sound ever, though Olivia strongly suspected it wouldn't hold the title long. Not with all the temptations they had yet to taste.
"God, Natalia," Olivia groaned in the tiny beat before their lips met again. Pleasure throbbed and gathered, centering itself in intense waves before exploding outward again, sliding over skin and infusing muscle and bone. She'd suspected it would be like this when they finally stepped over the line; passionate, addictive, and so very pleasurable it was like finding the last piece of the puzzle to her own soul.
Unable to resist the urge to touch, Natalia trailed her hands down the line of Olivia's throat and along the breadth of her shoulders before dropping her hands lower to find the bottom edge of her tank top. Slipping her hands under the soft knit fabric, she spread her palms against fine flesh, unconsciously rolling more onto her back and drawing Olivia along so the taller woman was angled partially above her and partially to one side. Strong hands skimmed higher, sensitive fingertips tracking flexing runs of muscle, neatly trimmed nails occasionally scoring soft flesh.
Olivia arched into the flowing caresses like a particularly happy cat pressing into a petting hand. At the same time, she ducked her head, murmuring soft words of devotion and desire against the warmth of Natalia's throat, the whispered promises coming between silky kisses and tiny licks that tasted faintly of salt and clean skin.
Amazed by the rush of emotion underlying the heated arousal-not just love, but utter and complete trust-Natalia tipped her head back to open her throat to exploring lips. It was so easy to lose herself in the moment and so natural to investigate the breadth of Olivia's back, testing the flow of muscles, the faint padding of sleek curves. Where Gus had been almost uncomfortably hard-all crushing muscle and sharp bone-and Frank had been doughy soft-a once lean man who'd eaten too many free fast food burgers and done too little time in the police gym-Olivia was the perfect combination of forgiving flesh overlaying taut sinew and solid bone.
Drawn by the need for more contact, Natalia trailed her hands from the jut of Olivia's shoulderblades, down and around, long, fine-boned fingers seeking out and shaping to the sheer glory of unbound breasts. Warm flesh heated and firmed as she explored with gentle strokes, finding the beginning of the sweet curve under Olivia's arm, then trailing along the line of muscle, fingers spreading to cup and lay claim.
Sinking into the possessive hold, Olivia hissed an unintelligible sound into the hollow of Natalia's throat and a hard shudder shook her from head to toe. Natalia: the scent and taste of the other woman swirled around her, filling her senses and ramping up a raw hunger that was as much emotional as it was physical. This was where she'd always been meant to be and the sheer pleasure of it rushed through her with the intensity of a wildfire in dry tinder, the fingers sliding over her skin acting like a hot desert sirocco, driving the flames higher and faster with every passing caress.
Dear god, how had she resisted the siren's call of this particular brand of heaven? And having found it, she vowed that nothing would take it from her. Then strong hands firmed their grip on her body, hauling her closer and coherent thought became a thing of the past.
Weight shifting with the welcome pressure, Olivia caught herself on one hand and pressed a firm knee between Natalia's thighs as she struggled to maintain some semblance of balance, unwittingly grinding against swollen, aching flesh.
Suddenly Olivia wasn't the only one groaning and shuddering. A sharp gasp was driven from Natalia's lungs and slim fingers dug in and clung as sensation rolled through her in surging waves. She whispered the other woman's name on a desperate, ragged note, her tone somewhere between a command and a plea.
"I'm here," Olivia assured her as she cupped one hand under Natalia's upper back and braced the other on the mattress. Pushing up, she found dark eyes in the thin light. "You okay?" she breathed, terrified she'd unwittingly caused some hurt or fright in her inexperience.
Slim hands rose, framing Olivia's face to pull her into a hard kiss as Natalia trapped her lover's thigh between her own to prevent her from pulling away. "Better than okay," she exhaled, then shared another quick, firm kiss before letting go.
The dimpled smile that followed was all the confirmation that Olivia needed. Full lips turned up in an answering grin and she leaned into the body rolling restlessly beneath her. Reclaiming soft lips, her mouth moved against Natalia's in sweet mimicry of the rhythm their bodies instinctively adopted, promising every pleasure imaginable while the sparking friction created by their gentle thrust and parry began delivering on the sensual covenant.
Perfection. The single word slid through Olivia's brain. They didn't know exactly what they were doing, but it seemed like they were doing it well to judge by the arousal running thick in her blood and the way Natalia was moaning and moving with her.
Which was why the older woman was caught by surprise when the hands sliding over her body suddenly pushed instead of pulling. "Wha'?" she groaned dazedly as she shoved herself up until she was on her knees, straddling one of Natalia's thighs. She understood a beat later as Natalia sat up and grabbed frantically for the bottom edge of her tank top and began plying it upward. Eager for the increased contact, Olivia finished the job, peeling the offending fabric off over her head before flinging it aside. Almost instantly, slim hands skimmed over her torso, exploring newly bared flesh, every bit of contact sending runners of pleasure over her skin. A soft, fluttering sigh escaped full lips and Olivia draped her arms around slim shoulders as she leaned into the gentle caresses, astounded by how unbelievably arousing it was to know that it was Natalia touching her so eagerly.
Then Natalia leaned even closer. Warm breath fluttered over Olivia's chest a moment before she felt the press of soft lips over her breastbone. Strong hands fitted themselves to the curve of her ribs, supporting her when she seriously considered just toppling over in response to the rich swell of sensation. "Oh, sweetie," she exhaled as she buried her nose in wild tumble of Natalia's hair.
Natalia had never really understood the male obsession with breasts-hers in particular, but all of them in general-but suddenly surrounded by the warmth, smell, even taste of Olivia, the feel her body, the sound of her heart and breathing, the awareness of flesh that quivered and firmed in response to soft, exploratory kisses, she understood how a person could get obsessed even addicted to the heady mix of power and pleasure that came with touching a woman so intimately. It was slow-working and subtle, wending its way inside, threading itself through a body until it was everything. Turning her head to mouth soft flesh, the taste of skin and perfume on her tongue, it struck Natalia that they'd been on this road for a long time. It was all inevitable somehow, that the white-hot flare of emotion that had been with them from the beginning should turn from anger and bitter resentment to this.
To the purest love she'd ever felt, the richest strain of desire, the deepest level of trust.
Tightening her hold, Natalia pulled Olivia a little closer, smiling at the words of love and affection being whispered in her ear. Moving her hands around to Olivia's back she followed the graceful track of her spine down until her fingers slipped under the loose waistband of worn pajama bottoms. Fine-boned hands spread wide, clinging to soft curves with possessive strength. She absorbed the shiver that worked its way through her lover, tasted the vibration deep in her chest that was almost a purr.
She could definitely get used to this.
Then suddenly Olivia's fingers threaded more deeply into her hair, applying just enough pressure to bring Natalia up out of her self-imposed bit of heaven. The kneeling woman ducked her head and Natalia found her mouth claimed, soft lips plundered, the depths of her explored. And for the first time in her life, she not only allowed it, but thrived on the sweet sense of being possessed. At the same time, the hands in her hair slipped lower, one curling into the soft fabric of her borrowed tank top at the narrow spot between her shoulders. Olivia's fingers worked, gathering thin knit and pulling it higher, baring Natalia's back to the cool, night air and then to the hand that broke the chill by spreading wide just below her shoulders.
Olivia felt the shiver that slid through Natalia and pulled back fractionally, staring down into shadowed features. "Feeling a little overdressed?" she questioned after a beat.
Natalia nodded slowly, raising her arms when Olivia moved to pull the garment off. It slipped free and Olivia flung it aside, then they flowed back together, clinging tightly, content for the moment to glory in the press of naked skin against naked skin.
"Feels so good," Olivia whispered into the warmth of Natalia's hair.
"And so right," Natalia added, her voice making it both a statement and a question.
"Yeah," Olivia confirmed, then mouths met again, the kisses sweet and giving, offering everything and demanding nothing. As the minutes passed, they grew more comfortable and the want spun tighter and tighter. Hearts beat harder and hands explored, learning the new landscape before them as bodies moved together in a slow rhythm. The remaining barriers of thin pajamas and light shorts were pushed down, then kicked aside.
If someone had asked Natalia even an hour before who would take the lead when she and Olivia finally made love, she would have answered Olivia without even a trace of doubt, but now, feeling absolutely safe and trusted and aware of her lover's fears of overstepping old boundaries she didn't quite believe had fallen, she found herself drawing uncertain hands to her own body.
"You're sure?" Olivia felt the need to question one last time.
Silly question, the thought went through Natalia's head, but at the same time, she smiled broadly, deeply flattered by the other woman's caring. However... "More sure than I've ever been in my life. I want this," she said very softly, wanting to give Olivia the same sense of security and of being treasured that the other woman had so graciously offered her. She peered deeply into shadowed green eyes and fitted a hand to the flare of her lover's hips, urging her closer. "But more than that, I want you," she added, her voice low and serious, "every part of you...the good and the bad...the sweet and sometimes sarcastic...the brilliant and occasionally grumpy...the beautiful...supportive...amazing woman I've fallen in love with." Closing the distance between them, she laid the softest of kisses onto full lips and brought the hand at Olivia's hip around, spreading it wide against the smooth plain of her stomach, pressuring just firmly enough to ease her onto her back.
"Natalia?" Olivia whimpered through the mating of their mouths, her tone gently questioning. Caught in a haze of love and desire, her head spun at such a rate and her body was so on fire that coherent thought wasn't an option.
"Shhh," the younger woman hushed, pulling back just enough to flutter her lips along Olivia's cheek. Her hand danced and played over the gentle swell of her lover's stomach, stroking, petting and moving steadily lower until the very tips of her fingers brushed downy soft hair.
Another tiny whimper escaped Olivia's lips and green eyes snapped closed as she grabbed for Natalia's wrist, strong fingers clamping down on the narrow joint, halting her progress. "Natalia," she groaned, blinking rapidly in an effort to clear her head. She'd promised herself that she'd take care of the other woman, see to her every want or need. Somehow, losing herself completely in her own desire seemed to fall short of that ideal. "Together..." she whispered with supreme effort, her voice trembling nearly as hard as her body. "We should be...together..."
"We will be...we are," Natalia soothed, folding her free arm around Olivia's head and arcing her hand to tenderly pet auburn hair away from her lover's brow. "But you've done so much of the heavy lifting in this relationship," she whispered, shifting to peer down into jade eyes. She made no effort to shake free of the hand grasping her wrist. "Let me take care of you for a little while...show you how much I want this."
Utterly vulnerable, her expression every bit as naked as her body, Olivia stared up at her lover, hunting for any sign of unease or regret and seeing nothing but love shining back at her. She was so used to taking the lead with lovers, pushing for more, grabbing for the proverbial brass ring-and always missing, no matter how it might seem at first-that she wasn't quite sure how to react.
"Please," Natalia asked tenderly.
In that moment, Olivia was utterly lost.
Natalia felt the moment of surrender as strong fingers opened over her wrist, then slowly trailed up the length of her arm. The import of the silent offering washed over the younger woman. Olivia wasn't a woman who trusted or gave up control easily. She might have created the illusion with previous lovers, but no doubt she'd controlled the reins all the way. This time she made no effort to guide or press, simply allowed Natalia the pleasure of taking the lead and exploring at will.
The younger woman spread her hand slowly, fingers stretching to encompass soft flesh that rippled gently in response to her passing. This was different for both of them. A first. A return to a more innocent time in life.
"Kinda like being a virgin all over again," Olivia observed as though she'd read Natalia's mind.
A shy smile curved full lips. "Kinda," Natalia admitted, then leaned closer, her breath playing over her lover's face as she added, "Let's see if we can't make losing it a whole lot better this time."
And then suddenly Natalia was kissing Olivia again, tasting the contrasting textures of her mouth and the sweetness of her breath.
She was still kissing Olivia as her hand dipped lower, roaming in slow, concentric circles that ambled a little lower with each pass. Still kissing as she felt the quiver of taut muscle and tasted the soft gasp of anticipation. Still kissing as sensitive fingers dipped for the first time into slick heat and unbelievable softness.
So soft.
This new terrain was an odd combination of familiar and unknown, curves and textures she'd stroked before on her own body, but without the guide of sensitive nerve endings telling her where to touch and how.
Then Olivia moaned, clutching tightly at Natalia's shoulders as her hips instinctively found a counterpoint rhythm to caressing fingers.
Suddenly it was like those light caresses were falling on her own flesh, so intense was Natalia's response to the other woman's arousal. Dear Lord, she'd never guessed it might be possible to implode simply from the pleasure of touching another body. She stroked, teased, and explored this new playground with a profoundly gentle touch, amazed by the rightness of it. She was meant to be here like this, and always had been. Slipping her fingers deeper into clinging heat, she was rewarded by a spasming thrust and moan from her lover that sent an immediate answering sensation spinning through her with the power of an actual caress. Whimpering into the blending of their mouths, she stroked more firmly, her fingers gaining authority as she continued to learn what made her lover gasp and arch to meet her touch.
Then just as suddenly, Olivia rose up, pressing Natalia back with strong hands, a firm grip forcing her hand away from silky flesh and pressing it into the mattress. A thin sheen of sweat gleamed on smooth skin while strong features stood out in sharp relief.
Olivia shook her head slowly, her eyes wild, her chest heaving with ragged breaths. "No," she whispered almost inaudibly and shook her head again. "I need..." she trailed off. She needed to be with Natalia-at least this first time-needed to focus on sharing-on giving, not taking. She needed to be the person she could be with Natalia and not the one she'd been without her.
She was caught by surprise when Natalia reached out and tenderly brushed tendrils of loose hair away from her brow. "I know," she exhaled, brown eyes glinting with an otherworldly kind of understanding, then her lips quirked and she turned a dimpled smile on Olivia. "But don't think I won't be finishing that game sometime very soon," she promised.
Olivia's Mark II heart slammed into overdrive at the sensual pledge gleaming in dark eyes. She nodded unsteadily, amazed at her own ability to resist that kind of temptation. "God, I hope so," she admitted breathlessly, "because I want that..." Leaning close, she nuzzled the other woman's cheek, breathing in the sweet perfume of her skin. "I want to be with you in every way possible." She found the softness of Natalia's mouth, playing tag with her lips, first pursuing, then retreating, drawing Natalia into the chase, then chasing her in turn.
They played the game back and forth until finally Olivia peeled her mouth away, angling above Natalia, hand braced on the mattress on the opposite side of her body. She ducked her head, mouth playing over smooth skin, exploring the graceful arch of Natalia's throat, trailing along the line of her collarbone then back to dust featherlight kisses down the centerline of her sternum.
A low moan bubbled up from Natalia's chest and she threaded her fingers into cool silk hair, releasing all control as the warm, damp caresses meandered over her upper chest, painting slow motion erotic designs on her skin. The brush of Olivia's mouth was light, every caress achingly tender, the feel of her skin impossibly soft. She nuzzled the winding path of Natalia's collarbone, the point of her shoulder, the graceful slope of her breast, pausing here and there before moving on in search of new delights to taste.
It was like nothing Natalia had ever experienced-sweet, sexy, and totally focused on her pleasure. A shiver slid through her as Olivia moved lower to explore the striated curve of her ribs in minute detail. "I could get addicted to this," she admitted out loud.
"Good," Olivia murmured, her voice faintly muffled by the press of warm skin. She tipped her head up until she found the faint glitter of Natalia's eyes in the moonlight. "Because I can tell you I'm already addicted."
A smile played about full lips, the expression somehow simultaneously both so sweet it made Natalia melt and so knowing that it set her pulse racing.
"In fact," Olivia continued as she ducked her head again, the warmth of her breath flowing over Natalia's midsection. "I don't think I could survive if I never got to taste this again." Then a gently rough tongue flowed along the line of Natalia's ribs, down to outline the upper arch of taut abdominals. "And I know life wouldn't be worth living if I didn't get to do this over and over." Moving lower, she pressed a light kiss onto the small, coffee-colored birth mark on a slim hip, then smoothed her thumb over the spot as a delicate shudder worked its way through her lover.
After that, Olivia's voice melded with the darkness as she whispered descriptions of all the things she couldn't live without between soft licks and silky kisses. In the past, she'd done things that on the surface, might seem similar, enjoying the thrill of controlling lovers with her body, egging their passions on until they were hers to rule, but there was none of that with Natalia. No calculation or long-term plan, at least none more complicated than spending the rest of her life with the woman she loved. It was pure adoration and sensory pleasure as she lost herself in the taste and feel of the younger woman, wending this way and that, traveling wherever impulse took her.
Lost in a kind of heaven she'd never even guessed existed, Natalia clung mindlessly to Olivia as the world was swept away in a tide of pure sensation. It was hard to tell what made her pulse pound harder, the sensual praise and promises that seemed to trigger every fantasy she'd ever had or the silky soft caresses that flowed over her body, finding every erogenous zone on her body except the one that ached most fiercely.
"Olivia?" Natalia gasped at last when need was threatening to slide over into pain. Slim fingers tightened in silky hair, bringing her lover's head up until their eyes met. "Are you going to..." she trailed off, a heated blush suffusing her cheeks, uncertain how to ask the question burning in her brain and yet terrified Olivia might not back away if she didn't. A tiny moan escaped her lips as Olivia broke from her task, pushing up on her hands to slide up the length of her body, her every movement sinuous and graceful.
Then she laid the most tender and sensual of kisses on Natalia's gently parted lips, drinking in her breath and drawing the moment out. "Yes," was her only reply when the kiss finally broke. A tiny beat later her mouth was back on silky skin and skimming downward, slipping between full breasts, then following the shallow furrow that bisected taut abdominals before slipping lower still. As she moved, fine-boned fingers threaded into her hair and worked against her neck and shoulders, kneading like a supremely happy cat until Olivia thought she could almost hear a purr.
A sharp whimper was torn from Natalia and her head snapped back into the pillows as that soft, sleek caress laid claim to the very heart of her.
Olivia smoothed a hand up a firm thigh, then spread her hand possessively over the slight swell of Natalia's stomach, petting soothingly. Each stroke of her tongue was light, slowly gaining in confidence as she learned this new landscape and discovered which caresses brought soft moans and caused the fingers at her shoulders to curl and dig in.
Definitely a purr, the pleased thought went through Olivia's head a moment later as a low, rumbly moan echoed through the room and slim hips rolled under her slow, stroking caresses. She loved this; loved pleasing Natalia, feeling way she arched and moved with every touch, loved the wine-rich taste of her and the feel of every tiny quiver that vibrated delicate flesh.
Arching and rolling with the exploring caresses, Natalia pushed toward the hand that stroked lightly from the base of her belly downward, inviting the slow, sliding entrance Olivia's fingers made into her body. She'd never really liked the sensation before, tolerating it rather than wanting it, but Olivia was all softness-soft skin and softer caresses, her touching achingly light-and Natalia found herself thrusting slowly to meet exploring fingers as they pressed deeper into her body. There was physical tension from the steadily increasing desire, but no emotional pressure, only love and trust, and she found herself whispering so many things-Olivia's name, how it felt, the emotions that bound them together, anything and everything that ran through her mind.
With Natalia's loving litany playing in her ears, Olivia lost herself in flesh and the pleasure of love and sex twined together until they were indistinguishable.
The ultimate addiction.
Tiny moans escaping her lips, Natalia moved with the exploring caresses, her need coiling tighter with every passing moment, a watch spring wound nearly to its breaking point.
And she didn't want it to snap alone.
Painfully close to the breaking point, her body throbbing with ache and want, she nonetheless found the clarity of purpose to tighten her fingers in Olivia's hair and tug as she growled her lover's name on a low note of command. "Together," she whispered as green eyes tipped up to meet her gaze. Natalia put more pressure on the silky locks caught in her grasp-not enough to hurt, but enough to draw Olivia higher. "You said together," she reminded her lover, her voice carrying a hint of accusation.
Olivia ducked her head, brushing tender kisses over downy soft flesh as she allowed Natalia to tug her higher. "Mmm," she confirmed, lips dusting the point of her lover's chin as she sank into the softness of her body, drawn there by the slim calf that hooked around her hip and pulled her closer. "Together. Jus' forgot for a sec," she added. "Forget everythin' when I touch you," she mumbled even as she trailed soft kisses around the outline of Natalia's lips.
Then mouths met and limbs twined together, hands stroked and bodies fell into a gentle rhythm, moving together in slow syncopation. The rustle of fabric and the whisper of flesh moving against flesh blended with tender endearments and low moans, the sounds gaining in intensity along with the sensations driving both lovers.
"I love you," Olivia whispered as she released the hungry kiss, pulling back just enough to focus on brown eyes, seeing everything in that rich gaze that she'd ever dreamed of inspiring in a lover.
Overwhelmed by the love directed her way, Natalia was momentarily speechless, but then she found herself whispering, "I never knew it was possible to feel this much for another person." She spread her hand wide at the small of Olivia's back, pressuring their bodies more firmly together even as she stroked silky wet flesh.
A gasp, a thrust, hungry kisses, and hard shudders.
More kisses, more thrusts, more shudders.
For just a second, Olivia would have sworn she was outside her body looking down on their entwined forms, the sheer beauty of the sight enough to bring tears. And then she was back inside her body and lost in a conflagration of sensation so intense she could almost feel overstressed nerve endings spark and short out.
Natalia, meanwhile, was just lost, every part of her spun out and overloaded with pleasure until she suddenly she came apart. For the briefest moment it was as though she was nothing but free-floating molecules, each of them spinning in an ever-tightening orbit around Olivia Spencer until they were one and the same, somehow reassembled anew, floating a thousand miles above the earth, her mind and body existing at the whims of the woman whose flesh was bound so intimately to her own.
And then she was tumbling, falling back to earth and into Olivia, coming back to a body utterly devoid of oxygen. Clinging to her lover, she dragged air into her lungs and found herself shaking as she collapsed into the mattress.
"I love you," Olivia whispered over and over, changing the inflection with each repetition as though she was trying to find every possible permutation of the phrase, shifting the emphasis, raising this note then that, yet never making it a question, always a statement.
Burying her face in the curve of her lover's neck, Natalia couldn't contain a tiny, giddy laugh. "I love you...so much," she exhaled against the warmth of Olivia's throat, only the once, but with enough intensity to drive the point home.
"You really do," Olivia whispered, her tone full of wonder as she pushed up on her elbows to stare down at the younger woman.
Nodding, Natalia framed Olivia's face with her hands. "I really do," she confirmed and couldn't contain a dimpled smile. Pulling Olivia back to her, she buried her face in her neck as she enjoyed the feeling of being pressed skin to skin from head to toe. "I finally get it," she mumbled, her breath hot against soft skin.
Still breathing hard, her eyes glazed in the aftermath of passion, Olivia curved a gentle hand to the back of her lover's head, rolling onto her back and pulling Natalia along for the ride so the smaller woman was sprawled against her side. "I...uh..huh?" she questioned haltingly, uncertain she'd heard right. Her thought processes were pretty scattered and it seemed likely she'd misunderstood somehow.
"Sex," Natalia exhaled as she pushed up on one elbow to stare down at her lover. "I never really understood the whole obsession." She trailed a finger along the line of Olivia's jaw. "I mean...I just...it never seemed like it was worth the effort..." She shook her head slowly, feeling faintly overwhelmed by it all. "I get it now," she added breathlessly, "why someone would...I mean...to be with someone like that...so completely..." She felt the pull of muscles under her fingertips as Olivia smiled at that, then trailed her fingers lower, following the line of throat and shoulder before slowly exploring the gentle curve of a full breast. "It was never like this before...never so...overwhelming. And I never wanted it to go on forever," she explained in disjointed bursts, the admission easier because of the enveloping darkness, "to glory in another body...to just be with someone and touch them...and imagine all the things we'd..." She trailed off, suddenly embarrassed by all the places her mind was going-most of them regions long forbidden by society and the church even though they felt so right where Olivia was concerned.
"Tell me," Olivia coaxed as she let her fingers wander over the graceful planes of Natalia's face and into the silk tumble of her hair. "Please," she added, her voice low and intent when there was no immediate response.
The younger woman felt her cheeks heat, but she couldn't resist the gentle hand or quietly urging voice. "Everything," she whispered, uncertain she even had the words for the thoughts running through her brain. "I want everything with you...a home...a life..." Her voice dropped, the underlying tone raw and intense. "This..."
"This?" Olivia repeated, a tiny hint of laughter threaded through her voice.
Natalia felt her cheeks heat, amazed that saying it was somehow more embarrassing than actually doing it. "Making love with you," she clarified, some of the embarrassment slipping away just because it was Olivia hearing her confession.
"Really?" the other woman drawled so softly Natalia might almost have imagined it.
The gentle burn on Natalia's cheeks spiked up several degrees. "Really," she confirmed and leaned close enough that she could feel the warmth of Olivia's skin. She brushed a kiss onto the point of her lover's chin as she realized she was absently stroking the line of her ribs, unable to resist the drive to touch and explore. "I want to make love to you over and over," she whispered, the burn rising another few hundred degrees with each word. She leaned closer, dusting kisses along the line of Olivia's jaw, tasting her skin, then teasing her ear. "I want to touch every inch of you...kiss every inch of you-"
"Every inch?" Olivia rasped.
"Every. Single. Inch."
Olivia couldn't contain a tiny, ragged moan.
Natalia smiled and felt the embarrassment recede a bit as her lover trembled in her arms. "You want to know something else?"
The older woman made a small, strangled sound that Natalia took for a yes, and suddenly, not only did the embarrassment back off another notch, but she felt a little burst of confidence. "I want you with the lights off...the lights on...by candlelight...with morning sunlight streaming across us...I want to see you and touch you and taste you and be with you every way and everywhere possible."
Dear Lord, she wondered, amazed by her own temerity, who are you and what have you done with Natalia Rivera?
Olivia, meanwhile, twitched and exhaled a tiny whoof of air as though she'd been struck in the solar plexus.
When there was no other response, Natalia tensed, suddenly worried she'd misread the other woman's reaction. Maybe she'd made a mistake and Olivia hadn't actually enjoyed their lovemaking. Maybe she regretted it all and didn't know how to say so. "I...uh...how are you..." She flinched over the stupidity of the question she'd been about to ask and tried again. "I mean...did you..."
"Oh, I did," Olivia exhaled dazedly. Every touch light and tender, she brushed dark hair back from Natalia's brow, her hand trembling gently.
"It's just...you haven't said much," Natalia whispered nervously.
"That's because I'm currently brainless... boneless...and utterly blown away," Olivia said breathlessly, punctuating the admission with a tiny, giddy laugh. "I can barely think...much less tell you how much I..." She fell silent for a moment, silently struggling to find the words to explain how much making love had meant to her-how much Natalia meant to her. Slipping her fingers into thick, dark silk, she cupped the back of her lover's head, pulling her close enough to share a slow kiss. "You are amazing," she whispered when their lips parted. "Soft...sweet...so beautiful..." She kissed Natalia again, taking time with her lips, exploring, tasting, molding them to her own. "And I have never shared anything with anyone that meant even a tenth as much as being with you." Another slow kiss passed between them.
When their mouths parted, it was Natalia's turn to murmur a hesitant, "Really?"
"Really, absolutely, sincerely, definitely, truly, madly, insanely, honestly, amazingly," Olivia assured her with another tiny, overjoyed laugh.
"Sounds like your brain's starting to come back to life," Natalia chuckled, amused by Olivia's bit of wordplay.
"Mmmm, and the things it's thinking." Olivia tut-tutted, drawing a small laugh from her lover. She sprawled deeper into the mattress and tugged the disarrayed covers up over them. She wrapped her other arm around Natalia's shoulders to snuggle her close, the tension she'd been carrying for months finally unfurling and melting away. All along she'd feared something would happen and Natalia would walk away for one reason or another, but she knew how the other woman felt about sex. She wouldn't have come if she wasn't very serious.
"I want to hear them all," Natalia admitted, curling against Olivia's side. She felt her lover sink into the mattress even as her own body turned boneless with exhaustion. "But not tonight, I think."
"Been a long day," Olivia agreed, her voice growing muzzy.
Natalia sighed heavily. "Long...stressful." She ducked her head to press a warm kiss onto Olivia's chest. Wrapping the other woman more firmly in her hold, she spread her hands possessively against warm flesh and hooked a leg over a smoothly muscled thigh. "But wonderful too..." She looked up, grinning as she made out a hint of Olivia's features in the streamer of moonlight coming in through the nearby window.
"Beyond wonderful," Olivia confirmed, already starting to float a little. A bleary smile curved full lips.
"And only the beginning," Natalia mused aloud, smiling at the notion of spending the rest of her life finding ways to make Olivia Spencer tremble in her arms.
"I like the sound of that," Olivia admitted, "because I just wanna...." She trailed off, uncertain how to phrase what she wanted to say in a way that didn't risk embarrassing the other woman.
She needn't have worried. "Do this over and over again?" Natalia giggled, relaxing fully against the other woman and pillowing her cheek on a firm shoulder. She was getting better at this whole being comfortable with sex concept.
Olivia grinned. "Yeah, that." She nuzzled her lover's temple, pressing a kiss into the tumble of her hair, then heaved another sigh and let her eyes slide closed, exhaustion sweeping through her. "However...while the spirit is extraordinarily willing-"
"Body's getting a little on the weak side?" Natalia murmured.
"Mmhm," Olivia mumbled, opening one eye to peer down at her lover's silhouette. "You?"
"Kinda...yeah," Natalia had to admit. She pressed another of the soft kisses onto Olivia's upper chest, then settled her cheek over the spot, listening to the reassuring thrum of her lover's heart. "I mean, there's a part of me that wants to stay awake...talk...touch...make love again..."
"And then there's the post coital lassitude on top of a sixteen hour day?" Olivia murmured through a yawn.
"Yeah, that," Natalia sighed, knowingly echoing Olivia's earlier response. She smothered a yawn and snuggled deeper into Olivia's hold. "Besides...I like the idea of sleeping with you...and waking up with you." She stopped fighting to keep her eyes open and relaxed more heavily. "And sleeping with you again tomorrow night...complete with post coital lassitude." As she spoke, the words slowed, coming in disjointed syllables with longer pauses between.
"Make sure you put that on my calendar tomorrow...and every day after that...in pen," Olivia instructed. A sly smile curved full lips. "Don' ever wanna erase those plans."
"Consider it done..." Natalia slurred, the words fading as she spoke, trailing into silence, then soft, slow breathing. The last thing she heard before she slid off into sleep was a last, barely audible avowal of love from the woman holding her, then the world slid away in a wash of warm, welcoming darkness.
* * * * * *
TBC