Life and Breath Part 22
Title: Life and Breath
Author: Pink Rabbit Productions
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Part: 22
Date: 1 October, 2009
Rating: Personally, I'd call it an R, but some might consider it NC-17 at some point.
Disclaimer: The characters and situations belong to other folks far wealthier, more important (or at least with better lawyers), and hopefully more charitable and kinder than I. They include, but are not necessarily limited to CBS, Proctor and Gamble, and Telenext. The actual arrangement of words, however, remains my own as do any original characters. Meanwhile, there is likely to be all female romantic and sexual activity ahead, so if this is likely to get you, me, or anybody else arrested should you take a gander, please move along. Also, if you find that sort of thing offensive, you really probably shouldn't hang around anyplace I'm posting. Just sayin'....
Archiving: The Pink Rabbit Consortium
Spoilers: Some early scenes definitely, plus anything through the spa trip is fair game.
Timeline: Unlike some folks, I don't have an exact scene where this one takes off. However, it's definitely set after the spa trip, but before Rafe's release from the halfway house. Oh, and it's after Natalia admits she's in love with Olivia to Father Ray.
Earlier Parts: | Part 1 (Prologue) | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 |
Life and Breath
by Pink Rabbit Productions
Part 22
Natalia piloted her charge to a quiet, corner table in the Beacon bar, signaling a waitress even as she took a seat opposite Olivia's old friend.
"So what can I get you?" the young woman questioned as she arrived almost before they'd finished sitting.
"Something sweet and very cold...I'm thinking strawberry daiquiri," Holly said cheerfully.
"Ms. Rivera?" the waitress asked smoothly.
"Diet coke." No way was Natalia going near anything alcoholic under the circumstances. Olivia might be able to play that way, but she was comfortably certain she didn't have a chance if she allowed the slightest dulling of her senses. The eyes watching her were just too intelligent and too curious.
"So you're a dear friend of Olivia's?" Holly murmured when the waitress had disappeared again, then added with a grin, "A very sober friend of Olivia's." Her tone made that sound faintly unlikely.
"Well, somebody has to be the designated driver," Natalia muttered a little defensively.
That earned an assessing look and then a sincere apology. "Sorry," the other woman sighed. "That probably came out sounding all wrong. I'm a little overtired...and probably stressed," she admitted. "I hate flying...particularly in small planes." She waved it off when Natalia looked like she might ask. "Old issues." Even heavy lidded with exhaustion, her gaze had a shrewd, though oddly kind quality to it as she peered at the younger woman. "So tell me about yourself."
"Uh...what would you like to know?" Natalia questioned, hoping against hope the woman wasn't going to want to hear a rundown of her resume because it wasn't likely to impress anyone, particularly not someone working for a chain of international resorts.
Holly hooked a thumb over her shoulder. "Olivia with an assistant...when did that happen?" she asked curiously. The woman she remembered had had underlings, but never someone she trusted enough to be by her side.
"Okay...well...I've been Olivia's assistant since last November..." Natalia paused momentarily, remembering Decker's reaction to Olivia's health problems and hesitant to give any clues on that front, lest she cause problems. "She wanted more time for Emma, " which was sorta true, "so she hired me to help out...step in anytime she needed to be elsewhere."
"I'm impressed. Stepping into Olivia's shoes can't be easy," Holly said, still watching with that assessing gaze. "She said you're friends," she probed. She'd been a reporter once upon a time and instincts suggested something interesting just below the surface and she couldn't resist the urge to try and find out what.
"Yeah," Natalia said quickly. Maybe a little too quickly, she thought as that dark gaze continued to watch closely. "We're very close actually," she felt the need to add, not wanting the other woman to question the sincerity of the claim to friendship. Russet brows shot up at that and Natalia had the horrid feeling that maybe she'd said too much even though she'd barely said anything at all.
"That's good," Holly said thoughtfully after a beat. "Olivia needs female friends," she mused, leaning back and considering the young woman before her as though she might divine some grand secret if she could just work out something, though she wasn't sure what. She leaned forward again, her tone conspiratorial. "She has a habit of seeing her own gender more in competitive terms than friendly ones...rather unfortunate, I think."
"She's changed a lot in the last year," Natalia felt the need to defend Olivia. "And besides, you said you were friends," she added, her curiosity making the statement into a question as she suddenly found herself a bit skeptical.
"We were," Holly confirmed, her gaze becoming distant, a fond smile curving her lips upward. "And believe me, Olivia does have it in her to be a good friend..." She blinked, continuing to peer at Natalia for an extra beat. "Though perhaps you already know that," she said shrewdly as she studied the younger woman, noting her gentle defense of her employer and the flash in her eyes that suggested it could become more than just a light defense if pushed. Dear friend, Olivia had said. Not just words, Holly decided with some insight.
"Definitely...Olivia's been incredible to me," Natalia murmured, her voice thickening with emotion. Feeling the curious look directed her way, she turned her head slightly, dark eyes darting to the side, shielding private emotions by changing focus. "And...and to my son," she added in the sudden need to divert attention away from her relationship with Olivia. "He's been in some trouble," she added by way of explanation. "I don't know what I would have done without Olivia's help."
"Your son?" Holly repeated, sounding surprised. Arched brows drew into a frown. "What? He was stealing crayons from the other toddlers at Mary Moppets Daycare?" she questioned, finding it hard to believe it was anything terribly serious.
"No," Natalia whispered, suddenly wishing she'd ignored the panic and kept her mouth shut. This wasn't the way to prove her professionalism. Really, she should just make a joke and change the subject. But instead, she found herself answering honestly, "he shot the D.A.."
"Oh." Holly blinked, faintly grateful for the drinks that arrived and bought her an extra moment to formulate a response somewhat more thoughtful than her initial impulse, which was to snort in disbelief. "So either he was very precocious or...."
"He's nineteen," Natalia said simply.
Or you were very precocious, the thought slipped through Holly's mind before she could repress it and she took a delicate sip from her daiquiri to gain time. "You must have been very young when he was born," she observed gently when she finally replied, the other woman's obvious pain knocking any tendency toward alcohol-driven snarkiness right out of her.
"Sixteen," Natalia confirmed.
Even that seemed too old somehow. The woman in front of Holly had a sweetness about her that somehow made her seem much younger and innocent. She suddenly understood what would have drawn Olivia a little better. For all of her sometimes hard edges, the other woman had a protective streak that could come out at the most interesting times and in some of the most interesting ways too.
Suddenly realizing she'd said far more than intended, Natalia shook off the clinging tendrils of depression over Rafe's situation and purposely pasted on an overbright smile that did nothing to convince the other woman of its sincerity. "So and Olivia were friends when you lived in Springfield before?" she questioned, purposely moving away from her own issues.
A lone eyebrow quirked upward at the abrupt subject change, but Holly accepted it with a certain equanimity. She knew what it was like to let more slip than one intended. "Mmhm," she confirmed as she took a fresh sip from her drink, the chill of crushed ice and good rum sliding over her tongue in a pleasantly burning rush. "I think it helped that we were never interested in the same men," she said, her tone practical, "at least not at the same time," she added after a brief beat as she recalled a mutual mistake or two along the way. "It didn't hurt that I never quite bought into the tough-as-nails image...also I never liked Reva very much...that may have been a big factor." She snickered softly as she remembered a few shared jokes at the blonde's expense.
"They get along much better these days as I understand it," Natalia again felt the need to defend Olivia.
That earned a smirk from the other woman. "All that takes is not having their hands around each other's throats," Holly proclaimed, then snorted softly. "Take it from me. I lived through their fights during Josh...acts one and two...then Bill and the attempted deportation and-"
"Telling tales out of school?" Olivia's voice, sharp and just a little irritated, cut off that line of storytelling as she stepped around the corner just in time to hear old secrets coming up. She settled a possessive hand on Natalia's shoulder.
Holly's gaze snapped up, taking in the fiercely protective glare directed her way with an assessing look. She'd forgotten just how quickly and quietly Olivia could move when she wanted.
"I was just telling Ms. Reade how much you've helped with Rafe," Natalia soothed, not even needing to look back to know that Olivia was one small step from seething.
"Clearly, that's not all that got said," Olivia said very softly, her tone taking on a dangerous edge that was in no way directed at her assistant.
Holly couldn't help but notice how the younger woman automatically reached up, fingers twining comfortably with Olivia's as she tugged her down into the neighboring chair.
"Really, Olivia, it was nothing," Natalia assured the older woman.
Their hands remained bound for an extra moment before drifting apart at an oddly hesitant pace.
Olivia remained tense, eyes the color of stormy seas silently warning Holly off old scandals that were best left buried-at least under the circumstances. She'd tell Natalia anything she wanted to know-after all, the other woman had already seen her at her worst-but she'd be damned if she wanted those old agonies coming out over drinks in the hotel bar.
Holly took the hint and gracefully changed topics as she held up a hand in surrender, silently signaling Olivia that she'd heard and was happy to observe the rules. Back off old issues. She could do that. "No Ms. Reade," she ordered Natalia with a light smile, "Just Holly." She took a deep breath, noting that Olivia's glare softened a bit and tried to smooth things over a little more. "After all, any friend of Olivia's is a friend as far as I'm concerned."
"Thank you," Natalia said quickly and cast a sideways look at Olivia, noting that she'd relaxed fractionally, but was still looking like she might just jump out of her skin at any moment. She turned more fully to face the woman she loved, her attention directed her way, though her answer was for Holly. "I feel exactly the same..." She silently willed Olivia to look her way until green eyes swung her direction.
Holly felt almost the exact moment she ceased to exist in the conversation as jade eyes met mahogany. Not that they were ignoring her precisely. It was more that she, along with the rest of the world, had simply slipped away from their awareness as the younger woman did some strange, snake-charming act-or snark-charming, Holly thought with a mental smirk-on her old friend. As if hypnotized, Olivia relaxed slowly, settling bit by bit into her chair, the rigid tension that had sometimes seemed so very integral to her very being letting go as their gazes continued to hold. Her attention never breaking from Olivia, Natalia made a small gesture and the bartender quickly started mixing what appeared to be a martini. Well, at least some things hadn't changed, Holly thought, fascinated by the scene playing out silently in front of her.
"Actually, I'm very glad to meet you," Natalia continue at last, her tone gentle, gaze still locked with Olivia's, though her words were clearly directed Holly's way.
Olivia sank a little deeper into her chair and finally offered a tentative smile, which seemed to free the younger woman from their intense bond, because she swung her head around until dark eyes found Holly.
"And I value anyone who's been Olivia's true friend," Natalia added quietly. "I know she's had so few." Olivia might have committed her fair share of sins, but she'd also had to deal with more than her fair share of betrayals.
Holly was struck by the odd phrasing and found herself trying to decide if it was praise, a warning, some kind of unspoken promise to Olivia to remain faithful-and what an odd word to have pop into her head in connection with a friendship-or perhaps, some strange amalgam of all three. "I'd like to think I was a true friend," she said very softly, her tone meant to be reassuring.
Olivia heaved a soft sigh in response to that and the stormy look in her eyes faded to be replaced by something akin to regret. "You were," she said very softly as a dozen memories of just how loyal Holly had been once upon a time swept over her. She held up a hand as if to wave away her earlier behavior. "Sorry. Shoot me for being a paranoid jackass."
"You had every right to be annoyed," Holly insisted between sips of alcohol-laced strawberry slush, rather pleased when that earned a dimpled smile from the dark-eyed woman watching so closely. "I spoke completely out of turn." That earned another smile and made her wonder if perhaps that was the secret to those long looks, because that sense of sweet approval had a faintly addictive quality to it. "Honestly, Olivia, you know what I can be like...still a reporter at heart...with the inborn need to learn everything...and tell everybody." She shrugged. "Sometimes I forget I'm not playing Lois Lane anymore."
Olivia's drink arrived then, the momentary interruption serving as a welcome distraction from the brief sense of impending conflict. When the waitress left, it was as though they'd all hit the reset button by some silent, tacit agreement.
Olivia leaned back in her chair as she toyed with the speared olives in her drink and peered at her old friend, full lips twisted into a wry smile. "So I've gotta ask," she admitted after a beat, snatching an olive off the toothpick before using it like an orchestra conductor's baton, to punctuate her words, "how the heck did Lois Lane turn all Donald Trump on us?"
"Now wait," the other woman said, holding up a hand in a halting motion. "I'm not that bad. I didn't have any master plan or anything. I just did some freelancing for Huntington's travel magazine...and then went on staff...and when they were putting together the resort deal, I kind of got involved when it became obvious the executive spearheading the project had no idea what he was doing...or some of the problems he was facing in this area. His plan was going to be bad for everyone."
"So you just had to save the world?" Olivia questioned through a smirk.
"Maybe a little," Holly admitted, then explained, "The original plan would have bypassed all local resources...even on the construction and staffing...and would have tried to steal your customers, I might add," she informed Olivia with an aggrieved air. "Meanwhile, they had no idea of the terrain and weather problems...and how that could affect both the construction and the resort during its busiest season. They didn't even have a good handle on just how expensive it was going to be to insist on bringing in outside employees as opposed to hiring locally. I offered a better plan...and if it sent you some business and helped the local economy...all the better."
Olivia considered the new information as she continued to worry her olives into submission. One of the perks of being the boss was they always gave her extras. Meanwhile, her brain was sorting through the new information. Obviously, this had been going on for awhile. "Why didn't you give me a heads up?" she asked at last.
Holly shrugged. "Wasn't sure I could pull it off. It was a fight down to the wire to see who'd be on that plane...and I didn't want you to plan on dealing with me, then find yourself up against some corporate shark out to take your hotel at a fraction of the value."
Natalia drew a sharp breath and saw the way Olivia stiffened, her hand white knuckled on her martini glass.
"I wondered if that was the way it was headed," Olivia said very softly, her eyes glinting with dangerous lights. "And your plan?" she asked, her voice deceptively soft. She liked Holly, she really did, but she wasn't blind to her faults. She wanted to think the other woman wouldn't play that way, but it didn't pay to be too trusting. She watched the casual shrug with sharp eyes, hunting for any sign of deception.
"Not that one," Holly said quickly, well aware of the assessing gazes watching her carefully. "I told you, I want to bring money into the area and work with the Beacon on a partnership basis." She shook her head sharply. "I assure you I'm not Larry Decker-"
"Larry Decker?" Olivia broke in and flashed a quick sideways glance at Natalia, green eyes meeting brown with the knowledge of a shared memory. She snorted softly.
"You know him, I gather?" Holly said
The question earned a smirk from Olivia and the tiny, bitter laugh from Natalia.
"Yeah, he and I had a bit of a clash last year. He may have carried a grudge," Olivia explained, smirking as Natalia's sarcastic snort punctuated the comment nicely. "I hadn't heard he'd left Galaxy though."
"Under a bit of a cloud as I understand it." Holly stirred her drink, redistributing the slushed ice before taking another sip. "Sorry, I don't really know what happened," she admitted when she continued, "but rumor has it the Xiaos weren't happy with him over something...and he was asked to resign. He called in a few markers to get the Huntington job...and came in with this deal in mind...intent on playing it very cutthroat." She shrugged.
"He still there?" Olivia asked quietly, uneasy with any notion that Decker might be able to step back into the deal, because Larry Decker would go on scheming if he had a chance. And instinct told her it was no accident that he'd set up a deal with the potential to take her down. He hadn't appreciated being outwitted even a little bit.
Glancing back and forth between the two women on the opposite side of the table, Holly found herself fascinated by the momentary bits of communication she suspected they weren't even aware of. "Ahm...no...things got a little ugly, and he...er...resigned...albeit under some duress." Her tone suggested the duress had been considerable and unpleasant.
"Couldn't happen to a nicer guy," Natalia muttered under her breath as she remembered how he'd used her foolishness against Olivia. She felt a burst of warmth as Olivia's hand crawled into hers and gave a comforting squeeze. She looked up and found herself lost in green eyes that offered nothing but reassurance and no regret for what had been surrendered in her defense. It still amazed her to think that someone had cared so much and protected her so selflessly.
Watching the latest round of hand holding and eye contact between the two women, Holly was tempted to ask about the story behind that look, but quashed the idea, instinctively certain it would only cause discomfort. Instead, she simply nursed her drink while she waited patiently for her presence to be remembered.
Which it eventually was as Olivia shook herself and turned her way again. A wry smile twisted full lips and she raised her glass in an impromptu toast. "Here's to old friends," she said softly.
"And new ones as well," Holly added as she raised her own glass, eyes flicking back and forth between the two women on the other side of the table as they once again lost track of her in favor of each other.
"May they ever have our backs," Natalia said softly and Olivia ducked her head ever so slightly in acknowledgment.
Which only intensified Holly's urge to learn more. What she was seeing was almost too fascinating for words, because it definitely wasn't the Olivia Spencer she remembered from her last visit home. That woman had been fire-hardened, tempered steel fashioned into an angry, flashing blade. Only somewhere in the intervening years, the blade been neatly sheathed and Holly was becoming increasingly convinced the rather shy young woman sitting beside her had a great deal to do with it.
Olivia finally shook free of whatever brand of hypnosis her assistant spun around her, blinking a little owlishly as though coming down from a good high or a particularly intense-
"So tell me," Holly cut in, a wicked smile curving her mouth. "What's the latest gossip in town. Who's doing what...and whom?"
Laughing, Olivia leaned back in her chair. "Well, Detective Wolfe is now Police Chief Wolfe..." she began. "And Doris Wolfe is now Mayor-"
"You're kidding me. Who'd vote for her?" Holly demanded, sounding offended by the entire idea.
"Apparently quite a few people. She kinda beat Buzz in the election," Olivia said a little hesitantly.
"That barracuda beat Buzz?" Holly was dumbfounded. "But he's so sweet...and she's so very..." she couldn't even finish the description, so flabbergasted was she by the entire idea.
"Actually, she's not so bad," Natalia said very softly, feeling the need to the defend the other woman, even though technically speaking, she didn't actually like her. Still, she'd encouraged Olivia to pursue their relationship, and that had to count for something.
That statement earned a very doubtful look from Holly until Olivia felt the need to quietly add her voice to Natalia's. "Natalia's right," she smoothed things over. "Doris is actually kind of a...friend...these days."
Holly stared at Olivia as though she'd grown a spare head. "Clearly things have changed while I've been gone," she said a little dazedly, then managed a wry laugh before demanding, "Details, I want details."
So Olivia set about giving her details, details, and more details, only minus any mentions of Emma's report on Mommies, dual and otherwise, not to mention any discussions of last minute wedding cancellations and the reasons behind them. Hats and bars with ladies nights were also off the table. Which really mostly left cleverly changing the subject without looking like she'd done so. Amazing what a touch of humor and a few tales of local nepotism and ineptitude could do.
Leaning back in her seat, Natalia watched the performance in amazement, fascinated by this new side of the woman she loved. She'd seen plenty of facets of Olivia Spencer, but never before the lighthearted raconteur, cheerfully spinning tales guaranteed to get appreciative laughs.
After Olivia finished a long, convoluted version of town politics that danced a merry tune around anything personal, stories bounced around the table, mostly Olivia and Holly's, but Natalia kicked her own spin on things here and there, her humor softer and slyer, but witty enough that Olivia experienced a warm rush of pride. The quick flow of time washed away several hours as they joked and laughed until finally they moved over to the restaurant in search of dinner.
One gourmet meal and a lot more stories-a few of them even true-later, Olivia leaned back in her chair, sipping a pleasant merlot as she eyed her old friend over the rim of her glass. Holly was detailing a particularly egregious instance of corporate incompetence at Huntington. The story was riotously funny, though Olivia couldn't help but wonder if her friend's superiors would be thrilled to know their representative was telling it to a possible business partner or takeover target. All of which was so very Holly that Olivia had to laugh.
And laugh again when the older woman hit the punchline. "Good god," Olivia exhaled when she could breathe again. "I'm amazed you gave up your life in London as a lady of leisure to...to deal with that much idiocy."
Holly shrugged. "I was bored. It turns out I wasn't meant for leisure," she demurred. "So when the opportunity arose, it sounded like fun."
"Sounds like it," Olivia snarked with cheerful sarcasm.
The wisecrack earned another shrug. "Mostly it has been," Holly explained practically, "I've been paid to write...which is what I love doing...and I've gotten to travel and meet people...and besides, it's given me the opportunity to come back here...see you." She smiled at Natalia who was quietly watching the exchange with a thoughtful look. "Meet Ms. Rivera...come home for a little while," she added, more seriously.
Picking up on her friend's solemn mien, Olivia leaned forward, elbows braced on the table. "But?" she asked gently.
"It's also made me aware that I miss...I dunno...having a home...ties...a place where I belong." Another shrug. "I miss this place...the people and the sense of community." Holly looked down at her hands for a long moment, a ripple of longing sliding through her expression. "There are a lot of bad memories here...but a lot of good ones too." She paused for another long beat. "Honestly, Olivia, I've wanted to come back for awhile...almost got on the plane several times...then chickened out." She heaved a sigh. "I think I was looking for way to make sure I couldn't take the coward's way and go on avoiding things."
"Why now?" Olivia asked gently, her tone kind.
The older woman shook her head a little sadly. "It's no one thing...just everything...I've been thinking...and I realized one day that it's the things I didn't do that I regret...not the things I did." She shook her head a little dazedly. "Sometimes I'm haunted by all the things I could have done...the time I squandered because I was angry...or following the rules." She took a long draught from her wine glass. "I've wasted so goddamned much time in this life that I could have spent with friends...family...the people I love...my daughter," she added sadly.
"I thought you two had patched things up." Olivia stared at her friend, seeing not just the passage of time, but all of the emotions and hurts that had driven her away.
"Oh, we have...mostly..." Holly sighed. "It's just a lot harder when you're apart." She ran her finger through the condensation clinging to her wineglass, painting randomly designs in the surface. "Which is a mistake I keep repeating...being too unavailable to the people I love," she muttered under her breath before going silent, her thoughts with those who'd long since disappeared from her life-sometimes by their choice, sometimes by hers, but more often than not, in a way she'd wound up regretting. "I just wanted to come home." When she looked up again, it was to find dark eyes watching her with a look of such understanding that she was momentarily trapped in that silken gaze, the reporter in her desperately curious about why someone so young could understand that particular regret so well. She swallowed hard, momentarily caught in the swirling eddies of emotion. Needing to break free of their hold before she drowned, she grabbed for the first piece of driftwood that floated by in the form of a stray bit of humor. "Besides, now I get to travel for free."
Holly could almost feel Olivia's desire to push and ask for more, and so found herself intently grateful when Natalia offered an overbright smile, though the look in her eyes had a bruised quality that made the older woman hurt for her.
"Well, that's what's important then," Natalia drawled, giving the words a sly spin that was at war with her own emotional response. She felt as much as heard Olivia draw breath to say something and reached over, settling a hand over her love's, silently signaling her not to press.
Olivia's gaze dropped to the hand that covered her own, then swung over to touch on Natalia just as the younger woman looked her way, her tiny headshake so subtle no one else would likely have noted it. The signal to back off went against Olivia's grain, but then again, one of the reasons she'd wanted Natalia along was because she was often better at picking up emotional trends. She ducked her head ever so slightly in acknowledgment.
Holly watched the subtle bit of communication over the rim of her glass, fascinated by their interaction and also grateful for the distraction from her own woes. The idea of coming home had been both terrifying and exhilarating and now finding herself listening to tales of people she knew and places she loved had brought home just how thoroughly things had changed in her absence. Easier and safer by far to busy herself with studying others. That was, if she'd paused to think about it, probably one of the most appealing aspects of being a reporter. One could avoid personal problems by writing about others. And given the volume of problems in her past, she couldn't help but wonder if the corporate life was really such a good idea once this deal was over.
Finding herself in the rare position of not having a ready bit of sarcasm on the tip of her tongue, Olivia took a sip of wine to cover and found herself intently grateful for the intrusion when Jack abruptly appeared at her side, and ducked his head in acknowledgment.
"Sorry to bother you ladies," he said quickly, his manner briskly polite. "But we have a small incident occurring on the fifth floor."
Olivia's gaze met his, her expression questioning. Remembering their earlier discussion, she wanted to know if it was their problem guest.
He shook his head ever so slightly even as he described the situation. "A couple of frat rats have tied one on. They ordered a pro-we caught her in the lobby and sent her home-but they're still up there making so much noise that we're getting complaints from every room on that hallway...for their floor and the ones above and below." He heaved an annoyed sigh. "I figured you'd want someone from management to be there when they're ejected." It was always best to have witnesses on hand in case somebody made noises about suing.
"On my way," Olivia muttered as she braced her hands on the table and started to push to her feet.
Natalia settled a hand on her shoulder before she could do more than tense to rise. "Stay," the younger woman urged. "I can take care of this." She nodded to indicate Holly. "You should spend time with your friend."
"Are you sure?" Olivia questioned doubtfully, suddenly aware of how very small and delicate Natalia was, while her protector would be Jack, who was frail enough to blow away in a high wind. Not exactly the ideal for handling a couple of drunk, rowdy, frat boys.
"I'll take extra security," Natalia assured her as she saw the worry in Olivia's expression.
"Stan and Ivan?" Olivia checked. They were both big, somewhat monosyllabic, and quite capable of busting heads where needed. Also, they worshiped Natalia. If anyone wanted to cause trouble for her, they'd break them into very small pieces. That worked for Olivia.
"Already on their way," Jack assured her, his expression somewhere between impressed at her thoughtfulness and smirking over her worries. As if he wouldn't see to extra security. The quirk of his eyebrow expressed more clearly than words just how whipped he thought she was.
"It'll be fine," Natalia murmured soothingly as she rose. She brushed a light hand along the brace of Olivia's shoulders as she stepped past her, feeling the tension ease in her wake. "I'll be back in a few minutes." A last squeeze of Olivia's upper arm and then she slipped out.
Twisting in her chair, Olivia watched the other woman go, uneasy with the notion of letting Natalia handle a situation that might turn ugly.
"She seems very special," Holly said very softly a long moment later.
"She is," Olivia confirmed as she turned back around to find her friend watching her intently. Had she figured it out or had she just noticed the intensity without understanding the depth or nature of it? "I owe her my life."
That earned a raised eyebrow and a curious look. "Interesting phrasing," she said at last.
Olivia shrugged. "Interesting story."
"Care to share, or..." Holly let the question trail off, giving her friend the choice as to whether or not she wanted to go there.
Olivia nodded slowly, nibbling on her lower lip as it occurred to her just how much she wanted to tell her old friend about how she'd changed. And why. Holly had seen her during some of the worst moments of her life, and through so many failed attempts at finding love. There was a part of her that wanted the other woman to understand she'd finally found what she'd been seeking for so many years. She also wanted desperately to tell someone just how very good the woman she loved was. At the same time, there was uncertainty and a certain confusion over how to go about it all and how much to say. "The story's somewhat long...and complicated," she said after a long beat, then took a breath, uncertain how much Holly might know about her life over the previous year. "I don't know if you're aware, but the last year has been a little difficult...I had a pretty serious health scare."
"Blake never mentioned anything," Holly said with a small shake of her head as she peered at Olivia assessingly.
Olivia shrugged. "I doubt she was terribly aware of it. We're not exactly friends." Leaning forward, she rested her elbows on the table as she toyed with her wineglass, focusing on the patterns of light and shadow on the deep burgundy liquid swirling around inside. "Anyway, I was having some problems...light-headedness, fainting spells-"
"Oh dear," Holly exhaled, a worried frown creasing her brow. "What was it?"
"Advanced Dilated Cardiomyopathy," Olivia said softly, the complicated term coming more easily now than it had once upon a time. She'd had enough practice saying it, she supposed.
Holly shook her head, her expression drawn into a confused frown. "I'm sorry, but I don't know the term."
"It's okay," Olivia assured her with a tired smile. "Basically...it means my heart was failing...essentially had been all of my life."
"My god...are you all right now?" Holly questioned, peering worriedly at her friend.
"Yeah," Olivia assured her. "I have to be a little careful about some things, but overall...I'm good."
The older woman exhaled a soft sigh of relief, still staring at Olivia in shock. "So you got treatment?" she asked after a beat, the news still sinking in.
"Yeah...after a fashion," Olivia said very softly, her tone dropping lower as she remembered those dark days after her diagnosis. She paused, uncertain how to explain. "I had a heart transplant," she said after a beat. There, just throw that out there.
Shock knocked the curiosity right out of Holly's expression and she blinked several times before finally managing to shake her head. Her gaze went to Olivia's chest as though she might see the new organ beating there, then bounced back up to her face. "I'm so sorry," she whispered when she finally found breath to speak. "My god, you must have been terrified."
Olivia nodded. "And in typical Olivia Spencer fashion, I didn't handle it terribly well."
"Oh, dear." Olivia's version of not handling things well could run the gamut from attempting suicide to total thermonuclear Armageddon. She could be a woman of extremes.
Olivia heaved a soft sigh, suddenly wondering if she should have stayed off this subject. It didn't exactly show her in the best light. Except it did explain so much about their relationship and did show Natalia at her best and Natalia deserved that honor. She took a breath, then began, "Natalia was engaged and later married to Gus Aitoro...Alan's son," she added, waiting until Holly signaled her understanding before continuing, "He found out just after I was diagnosed and he was sweet...supportive...and...um...I..." she trailed off, suddenly hideously ashamed of her behavior. "It wasn't my finest hour."
Knowing the way Olivia could dive in emotionally, Holly could well imagine. "You decided you were in love with him," she murmured, her tone a mix of sadness and something akin to disapproval.
"Am I that predictable?" Olivia whined, then held up a hand. "Don't answer," she pleaded, fairly certain she wouldn't like the answer. "Anyway," she sighed disgustedly, "I wanted Gus...I actually got some lunatic idea in my head that I couldn't survive without him...literally." She ran a hand over her hair. "And I wasn't about to let the fact that he and Natalia were about to get married stop me from having him."
A wince slid through the other woman and she shook her head slowly. She didn't say anything, but her eyes expressed quiet disappointment.
"Gus was too decent and kind to tell me to go to hell the way he should have," Olivia admitted, refusing to spare herself or pretend that he'd returned her feelings, but also needing to tell just how decent Gus had been. "In fact, he kept fighting for me...trying to keep me alive...but it wasn't working. I was going down..." Her voice was so thick with emotion, she almost couldn't continue, in fact had to pause for a long moment.
"Olivia?" Holly whispered very gently, worry quicksilvering through her tone.
"There was an accident," Olivia explained when she could speak again. "Gus was on a motorcycle...ran a stop sign-"
"Oh, god."
"He didn't make it...and he was an organ donor...and a tissue match," Olivia said, her voice close to breaking, her eyes fastened firmly on her wineglass. "And Natalia gave me his heart." She paused for a long beat. "I tried to steal her husband and she gave me back my life...and when I didn't appreciate the gift, she grabbed me kicking and screaming and wouldn't let me go." She finally looked up again. "She wouldn't let me die...even when I couldn't live with what I'd done...even when she had every right to hate me. Instead, she took care of me...and showed me that every moment is precious."
Holly just waited patiently when Olivia fell silent for a long moment.
She took a deep breath, hunting for a way to express some small measure of how much she valued the other woman, how much she respected her. "I laughed at her...mocked her...but the honest truth is I just didn't think people like her existed outside of fairy tales." She shook her head slowly, still amazed by the choices Natalia had made. "I could spend the rest of my life trying and never make it up to her...but I'm lucky enough that she's willing to let me try..." She trailed off, her throat too tight to let her continue.
Holly sat silent as she absorbed the story, the interdependence she'd witnessed suddenly making a great deal more sense. "That would have to make for some pretty intense emotions," she said at last.
To say the least. Olivia couldn't quite contain a tiny, hysterical laugh. "I never thought I could be this close to anyone." When she looked up again, it was to find her old friend watching her carefully, brow furrowed as she struggled to process it all. She hadn't come out and said just how much Natalia meant to her, that their relationship had turned from friendship to filial love and then romantic love along the way, though it was less planning than the fact that she doubted she could get another word past the tightness in her throat.
"You've changed," Holly said when she spoke again.
"For the better, I hope," Olivia whispered shakily, her voice holding a note of pleading that her friend understand.
"Definitely," Holly assured her. She cocked her head to one side as she peered at the other woman, trying to decipher the code. "You aren't scared," she said at last, and saw the way Olivia flinched in response to the quietly made observation. "Maybe for the first time since I've known you." The woman she knew had been rightfully confident as hell when it came to the business world, but on the personal front, she'd been a mass of barely papered over insecurities and stark terror of always being the one on the outside looking in. And that fear had driven her to hold on and connive with a desperation that more often than not only made her worst fears come true that much faster. The cycle had spun and fed itself until she'd expected to lose before she even started, and so took what she could as fast as she could with the certain knowledge it would all go away anyway.
But somewhere along the way that old desperation and cynicism had faded away, leaving something all new in its place.
Olivia drew a breath to respond, intending to credit it all to Natalia, and give some hint of just how deeply her feelings ran, when a sudden laugh at the entrance to the nearly empty restaurant drew her attention.
Natalia entered with Jack in tow. She was shaking her hands as though they were wet and the front of her silk blouse clung to her body in ways that probably should have been illegal.
Her gaze locked on the younger woman, Olivia rose in an instant and was just drawing breath to demand an explanation when Natalia held up a hand to forestall her.
"I'm not hurt," she assured Olivia, then looked down at her damp clothes. "My dignity's a little dented and I smell like a brewery, but otherwise, everything's fine...and Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber are on their way to the Super 8 outside of town...with the full understanding that if they pull any stunts there, the manager will call the cops." The Beacon had a regular arrangement with the local franchise and often sent over customers who either couldn't afford their services or were mildly problematic. It worked nicely for both places.
"What happened?" Olivia demanded.
"Stan and Ivan had gotten them to the lobby...that's why we were so quick, but they were still drinking and one of them got a little upset when I wasn't the...um...working girl they called for," Natalia explained, a dark blush staining her cheeks. "He sorta threw his beer...it was in a plastic cup," she added quickly when she saw Olivia's eyes blaze up with fury.
Glaring at Jack, Olivia's tone sharpened to a razor's edge. "And what the hell was security doing at the time? And why hadn't they already taken the idiot's beer away from him?"
"The punks agreed to go quietly if they could hold onto the beeer." Even Jack flinched at that tone, losing his customary insouciance in the face of her fury. "And Stan and Ivan were right there...just, not pinning 'em down." He never wanted to be in the way if she was out to protect a loved one. "Stan got the little weasel into a headlock," he explained quickly. "It just took a second."
"And the reason the weasel isn't on his way to a jail cell?" Olivia demanded, utter rage gleaming in her eyes.
Natalia laid a light hand on the older woman's forearm, her touch calming Olivia in spite of herself. "He's Vince Russo's son," she explained quietly. "And he started mouthing off about suing-"
Olivia made a soft, feral sound in the back of her throat at the name Vince Russo. The local lawyer had tried to use Natalia's desperation to get Rafe out of jail to get her into bed, had in fact been all over her when Olivia had found out and put a stop to the situation. Slime barely began to describe the bastard and apparently sonny-boy was following in dad's footsteps. "I repeat," she ground out through tightly clenched teeth, "And the reason the weasel isn't on his way to a jail cell?"
"Because as much as I would have enjoyed seeing him in handcuffs...it wouldn't be good for the Beacon," Natalia said before Jack could get a word in edgewise. "Vince Russo is a powerful man in this town-"
"I'm not afraid of the bastard," Olivia snarled. "In fact-"
"Yes, I know you'd love a chance for some payback," Natalia shot back sharply enough to knock Olivia's temper down a notch. "But it would just have turned into an ugly scandal...and moreover," she continued, her tone somehow both sharp and placating at the same time, "the kid was a drunken idiot, but he wasn't some bullying ape. He deserved to be embarrassed and thrown out, but not to be arrested and become the focal point of a war between you and his father."
"So he just gets away with annoying my customers...and mistreating you?" Olivia's voice made it very apparent the second mistake in judgment was the one that really rankled.
"No," Jack inserted, his tone dry, "he gets to explain to daddy why he has a four thousand dollar charge on his credit card bill...that he signed for by the way...in front of witnesses."
Olivia's brows shot up and she stared at her security chief questioningly.
"He agreed to pay for the damages...and all charges on the surrounding rooms to avoid being arrested...plus we paid the Super 8 ahead of time...and there was the tip for the working girl."
"You paid the hooker?" Olivia questioned, some of the fury dissipating in a wave of wry humor as she abruptly recognized the black comedy of the moment.
Jack shrugged. "Didn't seem fair that she came all the way across town for nothing."
"And on that rather surreal note," Holly inserted as she abruptly rose to her feet. "I'm about to pass out on you here...so I think I'll head for my room, and leave you three to deal with your...situation." A soft chuckle punctuated the last word. "Olivia...wonderful, as always. Ms. Rivera," her gaze touched on Natalia with a new gleam of respect and curiosity, "it's been a fascinating evening...and I look forward to getting to know you." Her dark gaze swung on to take in Jack and she grinned. "And whoever you are, I suspect you have some very good stories to tell."
"Well, you have your keycard...and your things should be up in your room waiting for you," Olivia said, automatically running a mental checklist to make sure her friend wouldn't have any problems. "So sleep well, and we'll talk tomorrow."
Holly nodded, said another round of goodnights, then slipped out.
After watching her go, Jack ducked his head. "Looks like things are quiet for tonight and my shift is almost over, so I think I'll head on out too." One hand rose in a small salute aimed Olivia's direction. "I'll call the Super 8 and make sure they got our package without incident."
"Thanks," Olivia said and nodded to dismiss him. He was gone a moment later, leaving them alone.
The restaurant had quieted, empty of customers with only the bare bones of the remaining staff involved in closing down. One nice thing about everybody knowing, no more need to pretend they weren't more than friends.
Reaching out, Olivia brushed a hand along the line of Natalia's jaw, her touch impossibly gentle. "You sure you're okay?" she asked a little worriedly.
Natalia couldn't contain a soft laugh even as she turned into the light caress, almost purring at the feel of Olivia's fingers on her cheek and jaw. "It was a disposable plastic cup...no lasting damage."
"Still," Olivia whispered, not liking the idea of any kind of threat or even mild insult being directed at the other woman, "maybe I should handle any problem cases from now on."
Dark brows shot up and Natalia rested her hands on Olivia's chest, curling her fingers into the lapels of the taller woman's jacket. "I handled it fine. Nobody got hurt...and when junior got a little rude, Stan just about broke his neck-"
"Would it make me a horrible person if I said, good?" Olivia questioned through a thoughtful frown.
"No," Natalia denied. "Maybe a little overprotective." Strong hands curved to her upper arms and pulled her a little closer and she went happily, leaning into Olivia, pulsing racing as she felt the press of warm curves molded to her own. "Which I admit, I kinda like," she said breathlessly. The hands on her arms slid down, finding the curve of her waist, fingers spreading possessively to her hips and lower back. "But at the same time, I can do this job," Natalia said firmly. Once upon a time, she wouldn't have been assertive about it, but Olivia had helped her learn to value her own abilities, and she liked the sense of confidence that came with the knowledge she was trusted with every job in the place. "And that includes dealing with the problems."
"You can," Olivia confirmed, not wanting Natalia to think she doubted her abilities in any way. "I just...I hate the thought of anything bad ever happening to you...even a stupid thrown drink."
"I wasn't hurt," Natalia reminded her. "Just smell like I'm a little fonder of beer than I actually am." She glanced down, a dimpled smile lighting her expression. "Actually, given how damp my clothes are...and how...um...close we are, you probably do too," she pointed out with a tiny giggle.
Exhaling a soft, long-suffering sigh, Olivia glanced down as she realized that she was noting distinct signs of moisture-and not the good kind either-wicking away from Natalia's clothes to her own. Several possible replies ran through her head, but she discarded them all, instead opting for a more tasteful approach. Natalia had lightened up a lot, but possibly not that much. She grinned. "The difference is I actually am fond of beer." She wrinkled her nose. "Though I must admit, I do prefer imported."
Natalia giggled again, clinging a little more tightly to the front of Olivia's jacket. "Yeah, but you make domestic smell good," she teased, dark eyes glinting with wicked lights.
Swallowing hard, Olivia blew out a sharp gust of air as she fought the urge to drag Natalia back to her room and do unspeakably pleasurable things with her. Deep breath, another sharp gust of air, and another deep breath. Okay, so impulse control had never been her strong suit, but she could do it for Natalia. She could do anything for Natalia.
Hunger gleamed in crystalline eyes with an intensity that Natalia couldn't ignore, wouldn't have been able to ignore even when she was still ignoring damn near everything else between them. She could feel the faint tremor in the body pressed so close to her own, hear the shift in Olivia's breathing, smell the pleasant odors of good wine and expensive perfume in spite of the clinging scent of cheap beer that hung in the air between them. "Olivia..." she exhaled, her voice low and breathy and oh-so inviting.
Olivia swallowed hard and clamped down on the impulse to push for more. Yeah, she could probably pressure Natalia into bed, but she'd promised the other woman a wedding and a wedding night and to wait until then, and she'd be damned if she broke her word. Closing her eyes, she deliberately tamped down the urge to act. "So...ahm...do you still need to borrow something to sleep in?"
A wave of disappointment slid through Natalia as she felt Olivia regain control and take a half step back. "Yeah, I didn't buy anything like that," she said, the words coming in breathy, unevenly spaced syllables.
Green eyes snapped open, some of the gleam dulled by rigid control. "Nightgown or...um..."
"Just shorts and a t-shirt would be fine if you've got it."
The request earned a brisk nod. "I think I can manage that," Olivia said quickly and took another small step back as she reached to catch Natalia's hand in her own, then slipped out together, leaving the night crew to their duties.
In Olivia's suite, they found Jane buried in a textbook. Smiling at the two of them, she gave a quick rundown of Emma's evening, said her goodbyes, then slipped out.
Suddenly intensely aware of the king-sized bed a short distance away, Olivia massaged the back of her neck. "You need anything else?" she questioned, purposely focusing her attention on the mundane in an effort to avoid thinking about the obvious. "Toiletries or more clothes?"
Natalia shook her head. "No, I got everything I need from guest services." Something glittered temptingly deep in dark eyes and her voice dropped hauntingly low. "I just need something to sleep in."
"Right," Olivia exhaled sharply. "I'll...uh...just get that for you...and...um...you wanna check on Emma while I do that?" she asked, her voice threatening to crack. She needed a little distance. Maybe then she could keep her hands to herself.
"That would be nice," Natalia whispered, stroking gentle fingers along the curve of Olivia's jaw and down the length of her throat before pulling away and disappearing into Emma's room.
When she was gone, green eyes rolled ceilingward as Olivia blew out a harsh breath. "If this doesn't get you into heaven, Spencer, nothing will." She took a couple of minutes to dig out a pair of lightweight shorts and a black tank top that made her imagination work overtime. "Not until you make it official," she reminded herself sharply. "You promised her." Clothes bundled in one hand, she head toward Emma's room, pausing in the open doorway, a soft smile on her lips as she caught sight of the scene before her.
Emma lay sprawled on her stomach, the covers in a tangle around her lower legs, one arm dangling off the side of the bed, the other folded beneath her at an angle likely to be painful by morning. Her daughter had inherited her tendency to be a heavy sleeper. As she watched, Natalia lifted the dangling arm back onto the bed, then gently reached around the small child to gently ease the trapped arm free. Finally, she straightened and retucked the covers before leaning down to press a soft kiss to the girl's temple.
Emma never stirred.
Straightening, Natalia did a slow pivot, then felt her breath catch as she saw the woman watching from the open doorway. Not for the first time, it struck her how utterly stunning she found Olivia Spencer, with her glitter-green eyes, sculpted cheekbones, and mouth that could turn wicked or come hither in an instant, but which was at that precise moment simply turned up in expression of such love and affection that it made Natalia ache just to see it. She hooked a thumb over her shoulder and offered a quirked eyebrow and crooked smile. "She's definitely your kid," she mouthed almost inaudibly.
"What?" Olivia responded equally silently as waved for Natalia to follow her and head moved back toward the livingroom where they could have some privacy and not risk waking Emma-not that anything short of serious megatonnage was likely to do that. "Cute, charming, funny-"
"I was thinking comatose," Natalia teased.
"We Spencers are world class sleepers," Olivia admitted, then thrust the bundle of borrowed clothes at Natalia. "And speaking of sleeping..." She clamped a firm hand on the reins of her self control and refused to read the look in dark eyes as disappointment when she didn't press for more or consider the possibility that a warm hand might have lingered against hers just a little longer than necessary as the clothes were passed over. "You need a robe too?"
Natalia smiled and shook her head. "Nah, I finally have an excuse to steal one of the hotel freebies."
"Well, we only have the best at the Beacon." Fidgeting nervously, tired enough to want to go to bed, but eager enough for Natalia's company that she would have happily stayed awake if asked, Olivia offered a sweet smile and tried not to look too aroused by the notion of Natalia sleeping in her clothes. She looked down at her hands where they were clasped together in front of her, noting they were shaking ever so slightly. Good Lord, Spencer, you've finally lost your mind, she thought with some irony. Her gaze snapped up a beat later as velvet-soft fingers trailed along the line of her jaw, leaving little flutters of heat and awareness in their wake.
"Yes, you do," Natalia drawled, her tone making the comment about anything but robes.
Swallowing hard, Olivia clenched her hands at her sides, nails digging into her palms with the effort required to resist a thousand different flavors of sexual temptation. Not daring to reach back and touch-a brief kiss in her office had nearly led to an encounter on her desk, who knew what might happen in a room with an actual bed-she just stared, her breath coming in slow, ragged pants.
Both disappointed and pleased by Olivia's purposeful effort to resist the obvious temptation, Natalia arched up, fingers curling into the lapels of the taller woman's jacket with possessive strength. The press of her lips was soft and painstakingly slow as she laid a soft kiss onto the corner of full lips, savoring the moment. "I love you, Olivia Spencer," she whispered very softly as she pulled back.
Raising a hand in spite of her intentions, Olivia stroked silky hair and felt the want spiral and spin inside of her until it took all of her willpower to pull her hand back and let it fall to her side. "Getting late," she murmured when she finally spoke. "Should probably head for bed soon." Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself. "Probably going to be a long day tomorrow," she added to break the spell threatening to overtake her self control.
"Olivia," Natalia breathed the other woman's name
"I love you," Olivia exhaled raggedly, then added, "And I respect you...and I would never go against what you want...so..." She pressed a quick kiss to the other woman's cheek. "I really think I need a shower..." Of the cold variety. "...then bed...alone...now." She didn't give Natalia an opportunity to argue or really even to comment, just urged her over to the door with a gentle, nudging hand at the small of her back. "See you in the morning," she added at machine gun speed, then eased Natalia out the door and pushed it closed in her wake.
Alone, Olivia leaned against the door, barely resisting the urge to thud her head repeatedly against smooth wood, an image of herself clawing her way through it running through her head. "Not just into heaven," she added as her body wound itself a little tighter in contemplation of all the things they could be doing if she hadn't so determinedly turned over a new leaf where Natalia was concerned. She looked upward. "I'm gonna deserve the biggest damned cloud in the place."
She took a deep breath, then heaved a heavy sigh, standing there like that for a long moment as she consciously tried to settle herself.
A long moment later, Olivia moved away from the door and toward the bathroom. She'd never really realized just how much unsatisfied desire could hurt. Hell, she'd never really gone unsatisfied before. And now she was starting to talk to herself. Not a good sign. "Shower now," she reminded herself out loud as she headed toward the bathroom stripping off her clothes along the way. "Cold...no...who are you kidding. That would hurt...and really, you're in enough pain as it is."
Finally, she stepped under a hot shower and let the world slide away...
* * * * * * *
TBC
Author: Pink Rabbit Productions
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Part: 22
Date: 1 October, 2009
Rating: Personally, I'd call it an R, but some might consider it NC-17 at some point.
Disclaimer: The characters and situations belong to other folks far wealthier, more important (or at least with better lawyers), and hopefully more charitable and kinder than I. They include, but are not necessarily limited to CBS, Proctor and Gamble, and Telenext. The actual arrangement of words, however, remains my own as do any original characters. Meanwhile, there is likely to be all female romantic and sexual activity ahead, so if this is likely to get you, me, or anybody else arrested should you take a gander, please move along. Also, if you find that sort of thing offensive, you really probably shouldn't hang around anyplace I'm posting. Just sayin'....
Archiving: The Pink Rabbit Consortium
Spoilers: Some early scenes definitely, plus anything through the spa trip is fair game.
Timeline: Unlike some folks, I don't have an exact scene where this one takes off. However, it's definitely set after the spa trip, but before Rafe's release from the halfway house. Oh, and it's after Natalia admits she's in love with Olivia to Father Ray.
Earlier Parts: | Part 1 (Prologue) | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 |
Life and Breath
by Pink Rabbit Productions
Part 22
Natalia piloted her charge to a quiet, corner table in the Beacon bar, signaling a waitress even as she took a seat opposite Olivia's old friend.
"So what can I get you?" the young woman questioned as she arrived almost before they'd finished sitting.
"Something sweet and very cold...I'm thinking strawberry daiquiri," Holly said cheerfully.
"Ms. Rivera?" the waitress asked smoothly.
"Diet coke." No way was Natalia going near anything alcoholic under the circumstances. Olivia might be able to play that way, but she was comfortably certain she didn't have a chance if she allowed the slightest dulling of her senses. The eyes watching her were just too intelligent and too curious.
"So you're a dear friend of Olivia's?" Holly murmured when the waitress had disappeared again, then added with a grin, "A very sober friend of Olivia's." Her tone made that sound faintly unlikely.
"Well, somebody has to be the designated driver," Natalia muttered a little defensively.
That earned an assessing look and then a sincere apology. "Sorry," the other woman sighed. "That probably came out sounding all wrong. I'm a little overtired...and probably stressed," she admitted. "I hate flying...particularly in small planes." She waved it off when Natalia looked like she might ask. "Old issues." Even heavy lidded with exhaustion, her gaze had a shrewd, though oddly kind quality to it as she peered at the younger woman. "So tell me about yourself."
"Uh...what would you like to know?" Natalia questioned, hoping against hope the woman wasn't going to want to hear a rundown of her resume because it wasn't likely to impress anyone, particularly not someone working for a chain of international resorts.
Holly hooked a thumb over her shoulder. "Olivia with an assistant...when did that happen?" she asked curiously. The woman she remembered had had underlings, but never someone she trusted enough to be by her side.
"Okay...well...I've been Olivia's assistant since last November..." Natalia paused momentarily, remembering Decker's reaction to Olivia's health problems and hesitant to give any clues on that front, lest she cause problems. "She wanted more time for Emma, " which was sorta true, "so she hired me to help out...step in anytime she needed to be elsewhere."
"I'm impressed. Stepping into Olivia's shoes can't be easy," Holly said, still watching with that assessing gaze. "She said you're friends," she probed. She'd been a reporter once upon a time and instincts suggested something interesting just below the surface and she couldn't resist the urge to try and find out what.
"Yeah," Natalia said quickly. Maybe a little too quickly, she thought as that dark gaze continued to watch closely. "We're very close actually," she felt the need to add, not wanting the other woman to question the sincerity of the claim to friendship. Russet brows shot up at that and Natalia had the horrid feeling that maybe she'd said too much even though she'd barely said anything at all.
"That's good," Holly said thoughtfully after a beat. "Olivia needs female friends," she mused, leaning back and considering the young woman before her as though she might divine some grand secret if she could just work out something, though she wasn't sure what. She leaned forward again, her tone conspiratorial. "She has a habit of seeing her own gender more in competitive terms than friendly ones...rather unfortunate, I think."
"She's changed a lot in the last year," Natalia felt the need to defend Olivia. "And besides, you said you were friends," she added, her curiosity making the statement into a question as she suddenly found herself a bit skeptical.
"We were," Holly confirmed, her gaze becoming distant, a fond smile curving her lips upward. "And believe me, Olivia does have it in her to be a good friend..." She blinked, continuing to peer at Natalia for an extra beat. "Though perhaps you already know that," she said shrewdly as she studied the younger woman, noting her gentle defense of her employer and the flash in her eyes that suggested it could become more than just a light defense if pushed. Dear friend, Olivia had said. Not just words, Holly decided with some insight.
"Definitely...Olivia's been incredible to me," Natalia murmured, her voice thickening with emotion. Feeling the curious look directed her way, she turned her head slightly, dark eyes darting to the side, shielding private emotions by changing focus. "And...and to my son," she added in the sudden need to divert attention away from her relationship with Olivia. "He's been in some trouble," she added by way of explanation. "I don't know what I would have done without Olivia's help."
"Your son?" Holly repeated, sounding surprised. Arched brows drew into a frown. "What? He was stealing crayons from the other toddlers at Mary Moppets Daycare?" she questioned, finding it hard to believe it was anything terribly serious.
"No," Natalia whispered, suddenly wishing she'd ignored the panic and kept her mouth shut. This wasn't the way to prove her professionalism. Really, she should just make a joke and change the subject. But instead, she found herself answering honestly, "he shot the D.A.."
"Oh." Holly blinked, faintly grateful for the drinks that arrived and bought her an extra moment to formulate a response somewhat more thoughtful than her initial impulse, which was to snort in disbelief. "So either he was very precocious or...."
"He's nineteen," Natalia said simply.
Or you were very precocious, the thought slipped through Holly's mind before she could repress it and she took a delicate sip from her daiquiri to gain time. "You must have been very young when he was born," she observed gently when she finally replied, the other woman's obvious pain knocking any tendency toward alcohol-driven snarkiness right out of her.
"Sixteen," Natalia confirmed.
Even that seemed too old somehow. The woman in front of Holly had a sweetness about her that somehow made her seem much younger and innocent. She suddenly understood what would have drawn Olivia a little better. For all of her sometimes hard edges, the other woman had a protective streak that could come out at the most interesting times and in some of the most interesting ways too.
Suddenly realizing she'd said far more than intended, Natalia shook off the clinging tendrils of depression over Rafe's situation and purposely pasted on an overbright smile that did nothing to convince the other woman of its sincerity. "So and Olivia were friends when you lived in Springfield before?" she questioned, purposely moving away from her own issues.
A lone eyebrow quirked upward at the abrupt subject change, but Holly accepted it with a certain equanimity. She knew what it was like to let more slip than one intended. "Mmhm," she confirmed as she took a fresh sip from her drink, the chill of crushed ice and good rum sliding over her tongue in a pleasantly burning rush. "I think it helped that we were never interested in the same men," she said, her tone practical, "at least not at the same time," she added after a brief beat as she recalled a mutual mistake or two along the way. "It didn't hurt that I never quite bought into the tough-as-nails image...also I never liked Reva very much...that may have been a big factor." She snickered softly as she remembered a few shared jokes at the blonde's expense.
"They get along much better these days as I understand it," Natalia again felt the need to defend Olivia.
That earned a smirk from the other woman. "All that takes is not having their hands around each other's throats," Holly proclaimed, then snorted softly. "Take it from me. I lived through their fights during Josh...acts one and two...then Bill and the attempted deportation and-"
"Telling tales out of school?" Olivia's voice, sharp and just a little irritated, cut off that line of storytelling as she stepped around the corner just in time to hear old secrets coming up. She settled a possessive hand on Natalia's shoulder.
Holly's gaze snapped up, taking in the fiercely protective glare directed her way with an assessing look. She'd forgotten just how quickly and quietly Olivia could move when she wanted.
"I was just telling Ms. Reade how much you've helped with Rafe," Natalia soothed, not even needing to look back to know that Olivia was one small step from seething.
"Clearly, that's not all that got said," Olivia said very softly, her tone taking on a dangerous edge that was in no way directed at her assistant.
Holly couldn't help but notice how the younger woman automatically reached up, fingers twining comfortably with Olivia's as she tugged her down into the neighboring chair.
"Really, Olivia, it was nothing," Natalia assured the older woman.
Their hands remained bound for an extra moment before drifting apart at an oddly hesitant pace.
Olivia remained tense, eyes the color of stormy seas silently warning Holly off old scandals that were best left buried-at least under the circumstances. She'd tell Natalia anything she wanted to know-after all, the other woman had already seen her at her worst-but she'd be damned if she wanted those old agonies coming out over drinks in the hotel bar.
Holly took the hint and gracefully changed topics as she held up a hand in surrender, silently signaling Olivia that she'd heard and was happy to observe the rules. Back off old issues. She could do that. "No Ms. Reade," she ordered Natalia with a light smile, "Just Holly." She took a deep breath, noting that Olivia's glare softened a bit and tried to smooth things over a little more. "After all, any friend of Olivia's is a friend as far as I'm concerned."
"Thank you," Natalia said quickly and cast a sideways look at Olivia, noting that she'd relaxed fractionally, but was still looking like she might just jump out of her skin at any moment. She turned more fully to face the woman she loved, her attention directed her way, though her answer was for Holly. "I feel exactly the same..." She silently willed Olivia to look her way until green eyes swung her direction.
Holly felt almost the exact moment she ceased to exist in the conversation as jade eyes met mahogany. Not that they were ignoring her precisely. It was more that she, along with the rest of the world, had simply slipped away from their awareness as the younger woman did some strange, snake-charming act-or snark-charming, Holly thought with a mental smirk-on her old friend. As if hypnotized, Olivia relaxed slowly, settling bit by bit into her chair, the rigid tension that had sometimes seemed so very integral to her very being letting go as their gazes continued to hold. Her attention never breaking from Olivia, Natalia made a small gesture and the bartender quickly started mixing what appeared to be a martini. Well, at least some things hadn't changed, Holly thought, fascinated by the scene playing out silently in front of her.
"Actually, I'm very glad to meet you," Natalia continue at last, her tone gentle, gaze still locked with Olivia's, though her words were clearly directed Holly's way.
Olivia sank a little deeper into her chair and finally offered a tentative smile, which seemed to free the younger woman from their intense bond, because she swung her head around until dark eyes found Holly.
"And I value anyone who's been Olivia's true friend," Natalia added quietly. "I know she's had so few." Olivia might have committed her fair share of sins, but she'd also had to deal with more than her fair share of betrayals.
Holly was struck by the odd phrasing and found herself trying to decide if it was praise, a warning, some kind of unspoken promise to Olivia to remain faithful-and what an odd word to have pop into her head in connection with a friendship-or perhaps, some strange amalgam of all three. "I'd like to think I was a true friend," she said very softly, her tone meant to be reassuring.
Olivia heaved a soft sigh in response to that and the stormy look in her eyes faded to be replaced by something akin to regret. "You were," she said very softly as a dozen memories of just how loyal Holly had been once upon a time swept over her. She held up a hand as if to wave away her earlier behavior. "Sorry. Shoot me for being a paranoid jackass."
"You had every right to be annoyed," Holly insisted between sips of alcohol-laced strawberry slush, rather pleased when that earned a dimpled smile from the dark-eyed woman watching so closely. "I spoke completely out of turn." That earned another smile and made her wonder if perhaps that was the secret to those long looks, because that sense of sweet approval had a faintly addictive quality to it. "Honestly, Olivia, you know what I can be like...still a reporter at heart...with the inborn need to learn everything...and tell everybody." She shrugged. "Sometimes I forget I'm not playing Lois Lane anymore."
Olivia's drink arrived then, the momentary interruption serving as a welcome distraction from the brief sense of impending conflict. When the waitress left, it was as though they'd all hit the reset button by some silent, tacit agreement.
Olivia leaned back in her chair as she toyed with the speared olives in her drink and peered at her old friend, full lips twisted into a wry smile. "So I've gotta ask," she admitted after a beat, snatching an olive off the toothpick before using it like an orchestra conductor's baton, to punctuate her words, "how the heck did Lois Lane turn all Donald Trump on us?"
"Now wait," the other woman said, holding up a hand in a halting motion. "I'm not that bad. I didn't have any master plan or anything. I just did some freelancing for Huntington's travel magazine...and then went on staff...and when they were putting together the resort deal, I kind of got involved when it became obvious the executive spearheading the project had no idea what he was doing...or some of the problems he was facing in this area. His plan was going to be bad for everyone."
"So you just had to save the world?" Olivia questioned through a smirk.
"Maybe a little," Holly admitted, then explained, "The original plan would have bypassed all local resources...even on the construction and staffing...and would have tried to steal your customers, I might add," she informed Olivia with an aggrieved air. "Meanwhile, they had no idea of the terrain and weather problems...and how that could affect both the construction and the resort during its busiest season. They didn't even have a good handle on just how expensive it was going to be to insist on bringing in outside employees as opposed to hiring locally. I offered a better plan...and if it sent you some business and helped the local economy...all the better."
Olivia considered the new information as she continued to worry her olives into submission. One of the perks of being the boss was they always gave her extras. Meanwhile, her brain was sorting through the new information. Obviously, this had been going on for awhile. "Why didn't you give me a heads up?" she asked at last.
Holly shrugged. "Wasn't sure I could pull it off. It was a fight down to the wire to see who'd be on that plane...and I didn't want you to plan on dealing with me, then find yourself up against some corporate shark out to take your hotel at a fraction of the value."
Natalia drew a sharp breath and saw the way Olivia stiffened, her hand white knuckled on her martini glass.
"I wondered if that was the way it was headed," Olivia said very softly, her eyes glinting with dangerous lights. "And your plan?" she asked, her voice deceptively soft. She liked Holly, she really did, but she wasn't blind to her faults. She wanted to think the other woman wouldn't play that way, but it didn't pay to be too trusting. She watched the casual shrug with sharp eyes, hunting for any sign of deception.
"Not that one," Holly said quickly, well aware of the assessing gazes watching her carefully. "I told you, I want to bring money into the area and work with the Beacon on a partnership basis." She shook her head sharply. "I assure you I'm not Larry Decker-"
"Larry Decker?" Olivia broke in and flashed a quick sideways glance at Natalia, green eyes meeting brown with the knowledge of a shared memory. She snorted softly.
"You know him, I gather?" Holly said
The question earned a smirk from Olivia and the tiny, bitter laugh from Natalia.
"Yeah, he and I had a bit of a clash last year. He may have carried a grudge," Olivia explained, smirking as Natalia's sarcastic snort punctuated the comment nicely. "I hadn't heard he'd left Galaxy though."
"Under a bit of a cloud as I understand it." Holly stirred her drink, redistributing the slushed ice before taking another sip. "Sorry, I don't really know what happened," she admitted when she continued, "but rumor has it the Xiaos weren't happy with him over something...and he was asked to resign. He called in a few markers to get the Huntington job...and came in with this deal in mind...intent on playing it very cutthroat." She shrugged.
"He still there?" Olivia asked quietly, uneasy with any notion that Decker might be able to step back into the deal, because Larry Decker would go on scheming if he had a chance. And instinct told her it was no accident that he'd set up a deal with the potential to take her down. He hadn't appreciated being outwitted even a little bit.
Glancing back and forth between the two women on the opposite side of the table, Holly found herself fascinated by the momentary bits of communication she suspected they weren't even aware of. "Ahm...no...things got a little ugly, and he...er...resigned...albeit under some duress." Her tone suggested the duress had been considerable and unpleasant.
"Couldn't happen to a nicer guy," Natalia muttered under her breath as she remembered how he'd used her foolishness against Olivia. She felt a burst of warmth as Olivia's hand crawled into hers and gave a comforting squeeze. She looked up and found herself lost in green eyes that offered nothing but reassurance and no regret for what had been surrendered in her defense. It still amazed her to think that someone had cared so much and protected her so selflessly.
Watching the latest round of hand holding and eye contact between the two women, Holly was tempted to ask about the story behind that look, but quashed the idea, instinctively certain it would only cause discomfort. Instead, she simply nursed her drink while she waited patiently for her presence to be remembered.
Which it eventually was as Olivia shook herself and turned her way again. A wry smile twisted full lips and she raised her glass in an impromptu toast. "Here's to old friends," she said softly.
"And new ones as well," Holly added as she raised her own glass, eyes flicking back and forth between the two women on the other side of the table as they once again lost track of her in favor of each other.
"May they ever have our backs," Natalia said softly and Olivia ducked her head ever so slightly in acknowledgment.
Which only intensified Holly's urge to learn more. What she was seeing was almost too fascinating for words, because it definitely wasn't the Olivia Spencer she remembered from her last visit home. That woman had been fire-hardened, tempered steel fashioned into an angry, flashing blade. Only somewhere in the intervening years, the blade been neatly sheathed and Holly was becoming increasingly convinced the rather shy young woman sitting beside her had a great deal to do with it.
Olivia finally shook free of whatever brand of hypnosis her assistant spun around her, blinking a little owlishly as though coming down from a good high or a particularly intense-
"So tell me," Holly cut in, a wicked smile curving her mouth. "What's the latest gossip in town. Who's doing what...and whom?"
Laughing, Olivia leaned back in her chair. "Well, Detective Wolfe is now Police Chief Wolfe..." she began. "And Doris Wolfe is now Mayor-"
"You're kidding me. Who'd vote for her?" Holly demanded, sounding offended by the entire idea.
"Apparently quite a few people. She kinda beat Buzz in the election," Olivia said a little hesitantly.
"That barracuda beat Buzz?" Holly was dumbfounded. "But he's so sweet...and she's so very..." she couldn't even finish the description, so flabbergasted was she by the entire idea.
"Actually, she's not so bad," Natalia said very softly, feeling the need to the defend the other woman, even though technically speaking, she didn't actually like her. Still, she'd encouraged Olivia to pursue their relationship, and that had to count for something.
That statement earned a very doubtful look from Holly until Olivia felt the need to quietly add her voice to Natalia's. "Natalia's right," she smoothed things over. "Doris is actually kind of a...friend...these days."
Holly stared at Olivia as though she'd grown a spare head. "Clearly things have changed while I've been gone," she said a little dazedly, then managed a wry laugh before demanding, "Details, I want details."
So Olivia set about giving her details, details, and more details, only minus any mentions of Emma's report on Mommies, dual and otherwise, not to mention any discussions of last minute wedding cancellations and the reasons behind them. Hats and bars with ladies nights were also off the table. Which really mostly left cleverly changing the subject without looking like she'd done so. Amazing what a touch of humor and a few tales of local nepotism and ineptitude could do.
Leaning back in her seat, Natalia watched the performance in amazement, fascinated by this new side of the woman she loved. She'd seen plenty of facets of Olivia Spencer, but never before the lighthearted raconteur, cheerfully spinning tales guaranteed to get appreciative laughs.
After Olivia finished a long, convoluted version of town politics that danced a merry tune around anything personal, stories bounced around the table, mostly Olivia and Holly's, but Natalia kicked her own spin on things here and there, her humor softer and slyer, but witty enough that Olivia experienced a warm rush of pride. The quick flow of time washed away several hours as they joked and laughed until finally they moved over to the restaurant in search of dinner.
One gourmet meal and a lot more stories-a few of them even true-later, Olivia leaned back in her chair, sipping a pleasant merlot as she eyed her old friend over the rim of her glass. Holly was detailing a particularly egregious instance of corporate incompetence at Huntington. The story was riotously funny, though Olivia couldn't help but wonder if her friend's superiors would be thrilled to know their representative was telling it to a possible business partner or takeover target. All of which was so very Holly that Olivia had to laugh.
And laugh again when the older woman hit the punchline. "Good god," Olivia exhaled when she could breathe again. "I'm amazed you gave up your life in London as a lady of leisure to...to deal with that much idiocy."
Holly shrugged. "I was bored. It turns out I wasn't meant for leisure," she demurred. "So when the opportunity arose, it sounded like fun."
"Sounds like it," Olivia snarked with cheerful sarcasm.
The wisecrack earned another shrug. "Mostly it has been," Holly explained practically, "I've been paid to write...which is what I love doing...and I've gotten to travel and meet people...and besides, it's given me the opportunity to come back here...see you." She smiled at Natalia who was quietly watching the exchange with a thoughtful look. "Meet Ms. Rivera...come home for a little while," she added, more seriously.
Picking up on her friend's solemn mien, Olivia leaned forward, elbows braced on the table. "But?" she asked gently.
"It's also made me aware that I miss...I dunno...having a home...ties...a place where I belong." Another shrug. "I miss this place...the people and the sense of community." Holly looked down at her hands for a long moment, a ripple of longing sliding through her expression. "There are a lot of bad memories here...but a lot of good ones too." She paused for another long beat. "Honestly, Olivia, I've wanted to come back for awhile...almost got on the plane several times...then chickened out." She heaved a sigh. "I think I was looking for way to make sure I couldn't take the coward's way and go on avoiding things."
"Why now?" Olivia asked gently, her tone kind.
The older woman shook her head a little sadly. "It's no one thing...just everything...I've been thinking...and I realized one day that it's the things I didn't do that I regret...not the things I did." She shook her head a little dazedly. "Sometimes I'm haunted by all the things I could have done...the time I squandered because I was angry...or following the rules." She took a long draught from her wine glass. "I've wasted so goddamned much time in this life that I could have spent with friends...family...the people I love...my daughter," she added sadly.
"I thought you two had patched things up." Olivia stared at her friend, seeing not just the passage of time, but all of the emotions and hurts that had driven her away.
"Oh, we have...mostly..." Holly sighed. "It's just a lot harder when you're apart." She ran her finger through the condensation clinging to her wineglass, painting randomly designs in the surface. "Which is a mistake I keep repeating...being too unavailable to the people I love," she muttered under her breath before going silent, her thoughts with those who'd long since disappeared from her life-sometimes by their choice, sometimes by hers, but more often than not, in a way she'd wound up regretting. "I just wanted to come home." When she looked up again, it was to find dark eyes watching her with a look of such understanding that she was momentarily trapped in that silken gaze, the reporter in her desperately curious about why someone so young could understand that particular regret so well. She swallowed hard, momentarily caught in the swirling eddies of emotion. Needing to break free of their hold before she drowned, she grabbed for the first piece of driftwood that floated by in the form of a stray bit of humor. "Besides, now I get to travel for free."
Holly could almost feel Olivia's desire to push and ask for more, and so found herself intently grateful when Natalia offered an overbright smile, though the look in her eyes had a bruised quality that made the older woman hurt for her.
"Well, that's what's important then," Natalia drawled, giving the words a sly spin that was at war with her own emotional response. She felt as much as heard Olivia draw breath to say something and reached over, settling a hand over her love's, silently signaling her not to press.
Olivia's gaze dropped to the hand that covered her own, then swung over to touch on Natalia just as the younger woman looked her way, her tiny headshake so subtle no one else would likely have noted it. The signal to back off went against Olivia's grain, but then again, one of the reasons she'd wanted Natalia along was because she was often better at picking up emotional trends. She ducked her head ever so slightly in acknowledgment.
Holly watched the subtle bit of communication over the rim of her glass, fascinated by their interaction and also grateful for the distraction from her own woes. The idea of coming home had been both terrifying and exhilarating and now finding herself listening to tales of people she knew and places she loved had brought home just how thoroughly things had changed in her absence. Easier and safer by far to busy herself with studying others. That was, if she'd paused to think about it, probably one of the most appealing aspects of being a reporter. One could avoid personal problems by writing about others. And given the volume of problems in her past, she couldn't help but wonder if the corporate life was really such a good idea once this deal was over.
Finding herself in the rare position of not having a ready bit of sarcasm on the tip of her tongue, Olivia took a sip of wine to cover and found herself intently grateful for the intrusion when Jack abruptly appeared at her side, and ducked his head in acknowledgment.
"Sorry to bother you ladies," he said quickly, his manner briskly polite. "But we have a small incident occurring on the fifth floor."
Olivia's gaze met his, her expression questioning. Remembering their earlier discussion, she wanted to know if it was their problem guest.
He shook his head ever so slightly even as he described the situation. "A couple of frat rats have tied one on. They ordered a pro-we caught her in the lobby and sent her home-but they're still up there making so much noise that we're getting complaints from every room on that hallway...for their floor and the ones above and below." He heaved an annoyed sigh. "I figured you'd want someone from management to be there when they're ejected." It was always best to have witnesses on hand in case somebody made noises about suing.
"On my way," Olivia muttered as she braced her hands on the table and started to push to her feet.
Natalia settled a hand on her shoulder before she could do more than tense to rise. "Stay," the younger woman urged. "I can take care of this." She nodded to indicate Holly. "You should spend time with your friend."
"Are you sure?" Olivia questioned doubtfully, suddenly aware of how very small and delicate Natalia was, while her protector would be Jack, who was frail enough to blow away in a high wind. Not exactly the ideal for handling a couple of drunk, rowdy, frat boys.
"I'll take extra security," Natalia assured her as she saw the worry in Olivia's expression.
"Stan and Ivan?" Olivia checked. They were both big, somewhat monosyllabic, and quite capable of busting heads where needed. Also, they worshiped Natalia. If anyone wanted to cause trouble for her, they'd break them into very small pieces. That worked for Olivia.
"Already on their way," Jack assured her, his expression somewhere between impressed at her thoughtfulness and smirking over her worries. As if he wouldn't see to extra security. The quirk of his eyebrow expressed more clearly than words just how whipped he thought she was.
"It'll be fine," Natalia murmured soothingly as she rose. She brushed a light hand along the brace of Olivia's shoulders as she stepped past her, feeling the tension ease in her wake. "I'll be back in a few minutes." A last squeeze of Olivia's upper arm and then she slipped out.
Twisting in her chair, Olivia watched the other woman go, uneasy with the notion of letting Natalia handle a situation that might turn ugly.
"She seems very special," Holly said very softly a long moment later.
"She is," Olivia confirmed as she turned back around to find her friend watching her intently. Had she figured it out or had she just noticed the intensity without understanding the depth or nature of it? "I owe her my life."
That earned a raised eyebrow and a curious look. "Interesting phrasing," she said at last.
Olivia shrugged. "Interesting story."
"Care to share, or..." Holly let the question trail off, giving her friend the choice as to whether or not she wanted to go there.
Olivia nodded slowly, nibbling on her lower lip as it occurred to her just how much she wanted to tell her old friend about how she'd changed. And why. Holly had seen her during some of the worst moments of her life, and through so many failed attempts at finding love. There was a part of her that wanted the other woman to understand she'd finally found what she'd been seeking for so many years. She also wanted desperately to tell someone just how very good the woman she loved was. At the same time, there was uncertainty and a certain confusion over how to go about it all and how much to say. "The story's somewhat long...and complicated," she said after a long beat, then took a breath, uncertain how much Holly might know about her life over the previous year. "I don't know if you're aware, but the last year has been a little difficult...I had a pretty serious health scare."
"Blake never mentioned anything," Holly said with a small shake of her head as she peered at Olivia assessingly.
Olivia shrugged. "I doubt she was terribly aware of it. We're not exactly friends." Leaning forward, she rested her elbows on the table as she toyed with her wineglass, focusing on the patterns of light and shadow on the deep burgundy liquid swirling around inside. "Anyway, I was having some problems...light-headedness, fainting spells-"
"Oh dear," Holly exhaled, a worried frown creasing her brow. "What was it?"
"Advanced Dilated Cardiomyopathy," Olivia said softly, the complicated term coming more easily now than it had once upon a time. She'd had enough practice saying it, she supposed.
Holly shook her head, her expression drawn into a confused frown. "I'm sorry, but I don't know the term."
"It's okay," Olivia assured her with a tired smile. "Basically...it means my heart was failing...essentially had been all of my life."
"My god...are you all right now?" Holly questioned, peering worriedly at her friend.
"Yeah," Olivia assured her. "I have to be a little careful about some things, but overall...I'm good."
The older woman exhaled a soft sigh of relief, still staring at Olivia in shock. "So you got treatment?" she asked after a beat, the news still sinking in.
"Yeah...after a fashion," Olivia said very softly, her tone dropping lower as she remembered those dark days after her diagnosis. She paused, uncertain how to explain. "I had a heart transplant," she said after a beat. There, just throw that out there.
Shock knocked the curiosity right out of Holly's expression and she blinked several times before finally managing to shake her head. Her gaze went to Olivia's chest as though she might see the new organ beating there, then bounced back up to her face. "I'm so sorry," she whispered when she finally found breath to speak. "My god, you must have been terrified."
Olivia nodded. "And in typical Olivia Spencer fashion, I didn't handle it terribly well."
"Oh, dear." Olivia's version of not handling things well could run the gamut from attempting suicide to total thermonuclear Armageddon. She could be a woman of extremes.
Olivia heaved a soft sigh, suddenly wondering if she should have stayed off this subject. It didn't exactly show her in the best light. Except it did explain so much about their relationship and did show Natalia at her best and Natalia deserved that honor. She took a breath, then began, "Natalia was engaged and later married to Gus Aitoro...Alan's son," she added, waiting until Holly signaled her understanding before continuing, "He found out just after I was diagnosed and he was sweet...supportive...and...um...I..." she trailed off, suddenly hideously ashamed of her behavior. "It wasn't my finest hour."
Knowing the way Olivia could dive in emotionally, Holly could well imagine. "You decided you were in love with him," she murmured, her tone a mix of sadness and something akin to disapproval.
"Am I that predictable?" Olivia whined, then held up a hand. "Don't answer," she pleaded, fairly certain she wouldn't like the answer. "Anyway," she sighed disgustedly, "I wanted Gus...I actually got some lunatic idea in my head that I couldn't survive without him...literally." She ran a hand over her hair. "And I wasn't about to let the fact that he and Natalia were about to get married stop me from having him."
A wince slid through the other woman and she shook her head slowly. She didn't say anything, but her eyes expressed quiet disappointment.
"Gus was too decent and kind to tell me to go to hell the way he should have," Olivia admitted, refusing to spare herself or pretend that he'd returned her feelings, but also needing to tell just how decent Gus had been. "In fact, he kept fighting for me...trying to keep me alive...but it wasn't working. I was going down..." Her voice was so thick with emotion, she almost couldn't continue, in fact had to pause for a long moment.
"Olivia?" Holly whispered very gently, worry quicksilvering through her tone.
"There was an accident," Olivia explained when she could speak again. "Gus was on a motorcycle...ran a stop sign-"
"Oh, god."
"He didn't make it...and he was an organ donor...and a tissue match," Olivia said, her voice close to breaking, her eyes fastened firmly on her wineglass. "And Natalia gave me his heart." She paused for a long beat. "I tried to steal her husband and she gave me back my life...and when I didn't appreciate the gift, she grabbed me kicking and screaming and wouldn't let me go." She finally looked up again. "She wouldn't let me die...even when I couldn't live with what I'd done...even when she had every right to hate me. Instead, she took care of me...and showed me that every moment is precious."
Holly just waited patiently when Olivia fell silent for a long moment.
She took a deep breath, hunting for a way to express some small measure of how much she valued the other woman, how much she respected her. "I laughed at her...mocked her...but the honest truth is I just didn't think people like her existed outside of fairy tales." She shook her head slowly, still amazed by the choices Natalia had made. "I could spend the rest of my life trying and never make it up to her...but I'm lucky enough that she's willing to let me try..." She trailed off, her throat too tight to let her continue.
Holly sat silent as she absorbed the story, the interdependence she'd witnessed suddenly making a great deal more sense. "That would have to make for some pretty intense emotions," she said at last.
To say the least. Olivia couldn't quite contain a tiny, hysterical laugh. "I never thought I could be this close to anyone." When she looked up again, it was to find her old friend watching her carefully, brow furrowed as she struggled to process it all. She hadn't come out and said just how much Natalia meant to her, that their relationship had turned from friendship to filial love and then romantic love along the way, though it was less planning than the fact that she doubted she could get another word past the tightness in her throat.
"You've changed," Holly said when she spoke again.
"For the better, I hope," Olivia whispered shakily, her voice holding a note of pleading that her friend understand.
"Definitely," Holly assured her. She cocked her head to one side as she peered at the other woman, trying to decipher the code. "You aren't scared," she said at last, and saw the way Olivia flinched in response to the quietly made observation. "Maybe for the first time since I've known you." The woman she knew had been rightfully confident as hell when it came to the business world, but on the personal front, she'd been a mass of barely papered over insecurities and stark terror of always being the one on the outside looking in. And that fear had driven her to hold on and connive with a desperation that more often than not only made her worst fears come true that much faster. The cycle had spun and fed itself until she'd expected to lose before she even started, and so took what she could as fast as she could with the certain knowledge it would all go away anyway.
But somewhere along the way that old desperation and cynicism had faded away, leaving something all new in its place.
Olivia drew a breath to respond, intending to credit it all to Natalia, and give some hint of just how deeply her feelings ran, when a sudden laugh at the entrance to the nearly empty restaurant drew her attention.
Natalia entered with Jack in tow. She was shaking her hands as though they were wet and the front of her silk blouse clung to her body in ways that probably should have been illegal.
Her gaze locked on the younger woman, Olivia rose in an instant and was just drawing breath to demand an explanation when Natalia held up a hand to forestall her.
"I'm not hurt," she assured Olivia, then looked down at her damp clothes. "My dignity's a little dented and I smell like a brewery, but otherwise, everything's fine...and Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber are on their way to the Super 8 outside of town...with the full understanding that if they pull any stunts there, the manager will call the cops." The Beacon had a regular arrangement with the local franchise and often sent over customers who either couldn't afford their services or were mildly problematic. It worked nicely for both places.
"What happened?" Olivia demanded.
"Stan and Ivan had gotten them to the lobby...that's why we were so quick, but they were still drinking and one of them got a little upset when I wasn't the...um...working girl they called for," Natalia explained, a dark blush staining her cheeks. "He sorta threw his beer...it was in a plastic cup," she added quickly when she saw Olivia's eyes blaze up with fury.
Glaring at Jack, Olivia's tone sharpened to a razor's edge. "And what the hell was security doing at the time? And why hadn't they already taken the idiot's beer away from him?"
"The punks agreed to go quietly if they could hold onto the beeer." Even Jack flinched at that tone, losing his customary insouciance in the face of her fury. "And Stan and Ivan were right there...just, not pinning 'em down." He never wanted to be in the way if she was out to protect a loved one. "Stan got the little weasel into a headlock," he explained quickly. "It just took a second."
"And the reason the weasel isn't on his way to a jail cell?" Olivia demanded, utter rage gleaming in her eyes.
Natalia laid a light hand on the older woman's forearm, her touch calming Olivia in spite of herself. "He's Vince Russo's son," she explained quietly. "And he started mouthing off about suing-"
Olivia made a soft, feral sound in the back of her throat at the name Vince Russo. The local lawyer had tried to use Natalia's desperation to get Rafe out of jail to get her into bed, had in fact been all over her when Olivia had found out and put a stop to the situation. Slime barely began to describe the bastard and apparently sonny-boy was following in dad's footsteps. "I repeat," she ground out through tightly clenched teeth, "And the reason the weasel isn't on his way to a jail cell?"
"Because as much as I would have enjoyed seeing him in handcuffs...it wouldn't be good for the Beacon," Natalia said before Jack could get a word in edgewise. "Vince Russo is a powerful man in this town-"
"I'm not afraid of the bastard," Olivia snarled. "In fact-"
"Yes, I know you'd love a chance for some payback," Natalia shot back sharply enough to knock Olivia's temper down a notch. "But it would just have turned into an ugly scandal...and moreover," she continued, her tone somehow both sharp and placating at the same time, "the kid was a drunken idiot, but he wasn't some bullying ape. He deserved to be embarrassed and thrown out, but not to be arrested and become the focal point of a war between you and his father."
"So he just gets away with annoying my customers...and mistreating you?" Olivia's voice made it very apparent the second mistake in judgment was the one that really rankled.
"No," Jack inserted, his tone dry, "he gets to explain to daddy why he has a four thousand dollar charge on his credit card bill...that he signed for by the way...in front of witnesses."
Olivia's brows shot up and she stared at her security chief questioningly.
"He agreed to pay for the damages...and all charges on the surrounding rooms to avoid being arrested...plus we paid the Super 8 ahead of time...and there was the tip for the working girl."
"You paid the hooker?" Olivia questioned, some of the fury dissipating in a wave of wry humor as she abruptly recognized the black comedy of the moment.
Jack shrugged. "Didn't seem fair that she came all the way across town for nothing."
"And on that rather surreal note," Holly inserted as she abruptly rose to her feet. "I'm about to pass out on you here...so I think I'll head for my room, and leave you three to deal with your...situation." A soft chuckle punctuated the last word. "Olivia...wonderful, as always. Ms. Rivera," her gaze touched on Natalia with a new gleam of respect and curiosity, "it's been a fascinating evening...and I look forward to getting to know you." Her dark gaze swung on to take in Jack and she grinned. "And whoever you are, I suspect you have some very good stories to tell."
"Well, you have your keycard...and your things should be up in your room waiting for you," Olivia said, automatically running a mental checklist to make sure her friend wouldn't have any problems. "So sleep well, and we'll talk tomorrow."
Holly nodded, said another round of goodnights, then slipped out.
After watching her go, Jack ducked his head. "Looks like things are quiet for tonight and my shift is almost over, so I think I'll head on out too." One hand rose in a small salute aimed Olivia's direction. "I'll call the Super 8 and make sure they got our package without incident."
"Thanks," Olivia said and nodded to dismiss him. He was gone a moment later, leaving them alone.
The restaurant had quieted, empty of customers with only the bare bones of the remaining staff involved in closing down. One nice thing about everybody knowing, no more need to pretend they weren't more than friends.
Reaching out, Olivia brushed a hand along the line of Natalia's jaw, her touch impossibly gentle. "You sure you're okay?" she asked a little worriedly.
Natalia couldn't contain a soft laugh even as she turned into the light caress, almost purring at the feel of Olivia's fingers on her cheek and jaw. "It was a disposable plastic cup...no lasting damage."
"Still," Olivia whispered, not liking the idea of any kind of threat or even mild insult being directed at the other woman, "maybe I should handle any problem cases from now on."
Dark brows shot up and Natalia rested her hands on Olivia's chest, curling her fingers into the lapels of the taller woman's jacket. "I handled it fine. Nobody got hurt...and when junior got a little rude, Stan just about broke his neck-"
"Would it make me a horrible person if I said, good?" Olivia questioned through a thoughtful frown.
"No," Natalia denied. "Maybe a little overprotective." Strong hands curved to her upper arms and pulled her a little closer and she went happily, leaning into Olivia, pulsing racing as she felt the press of warm curves molded to her own. "Which I admit, I kinda like," she said breathlessly. The hands on her arms slid down, finding the curve of her waist, fingers spreading possessively to her hips and lower back. "But at the same time, I can do this job," Natalia said firmly. Once upon a time, she wouldn't have been assertive about it, but Olivia had helped her learn to value her own abilities, and she liked the sense of confidence that came with the knowledge she was trusted with every job in the place. "And that includes dealing with the problems."
"You can," Olivia confirmed, not wanting Natalia to think she doubted her abilities in any way. "I just...I hate the thought of anything bad ever happening to you...even a stupid thrown drink."
"I wasn't hurt," Natalia reminded her. "Just smell like I'm a little fonder of beer than I actually am." She glanced down, a dimpled smile lighting her expression. "Actually, given how damp my clothes are...and how...um...close we are, you probably do too," she pointed out with a tiny giggle.
Exhaling a soft, long-suffering sigh, Olivia glanced down as she realized that she was noting distinct signs of moisture-and not the good kind either-wicking away from Natalia's clothes to her own. Several possible replies ran through her head, but she discarded them all, instead opting for a more tasteful approach. Natalia had lightened up a lot, but possibly not that much. She grinned. "The difference is I actually am fond of beer." She wrinkled her nose. "Though I must admit, I do prefer imported."
Natalia giggled again, clinging a little more tightly to the front of Olivia's jacket. "Yeah, but you make domestic smell good," she teased, dark eyes glinting with wicked lights.
Swallowing hard, Olivia blew out a sharp gust of air as she fought the urge to drag Natalia back to her room and do unspeakably pleasurable things with her. Deep breath, another sharp gust of air, and another deep breath. Okay, so impulse control had never been her strong suit, but she could do it for Natalia. She could do anything for Natalia.
Hunger gleamed in crystalline eyes with an intensity that Natalia couldn't ignore, wouldn't have been able to ignore even when she was still ignoring damn near everything else between them. She could feel the faint tremor in the body pressed so close to her own, hear the shift in Olivia's breathing, smell the pleasant odors of good wine and expensive perfume in spite of the clinging scent of cheap beer that hung in the air between them. "Olivia..." she exhaled, her voice low and breathy and oh-so inviting.
Olivia swallowed hard and clamped down on the impulse to push for more. Yeah, she could probably pressure Natalia into bed, but she'd promised the other woman a wedding and a wedding night and to wait until then, and she'd be damned if she broke her word. Closing her eyes, she deliberately tamped down the urge to act. "So...ahm...do you still need to borrow something to sleep in?"
A wave of disappointment slid through Natalia as she felt Olivia regain control and take a half step back. "Yeah, I didn't buy anything like that," she said, the words coming in breathy, unevenly spaced syllables.
Green eyes snapped open, some of the gleam dulled by rigid control. "Nightgown or...um..."
"Just shorts and a t-shirt would be fine if you've got it."
The request earned a brisk nod. "I think I can manage that," Olivia said quickly and took another small step back as she reached to catch Natalia's hand in her own, then slipped out together, leaving the night crew to their duties.
In Olivia's suite, they found Jane buried in a textbook. Smiling at the two of them, she gave a quick rundown of Emma's evening, said her goodbyes, then slipped out.
Suddenly intensely aware of the king-sized bed a short distance away, Olivia massaged the back of her neck. "You need anything else?" she questioned, purposely focusing her attention on the mundane in an effort to avoid thinking about the obvious. "Toiletries or more clothes?"
Natalia shook her head. "No, I got everything I need from guest services." Something glittered temptingly deep in dark eyes and her voice dropped hauntingly low. "I just need something to sleep in."
"Right," Olivia exhaled sharply. "I'll...uh...just get that for you...and...um...you wanna check on Emma while I do that?" she asked, her voice threatening to crack. She needed a little distance. Maybe then she could keep her hands to herself.
"That would be nice," Natalia whispered, stroking gentle fingers along the curve of Olivia's jaw and down the length of her throat before pulling away and disappearing into Emma's room.
When she was gone, green eyes rolled ceilingward as Olivia blew out a harsh breath. "If this doesn't get you into heaven, Spencer, nothing will." She took a couple of minutes to dig out a pair of lightweight shorts and a black tank top that made her imagination work overtime. "Not until you make it official," she reminded herself sharply. "You promised her." Clothes bundled in one hand, she head toward Emma's room, pausing in the open doorway, a soft smile on her lips as she caught sight of the scene before her.
Emma lay sprawled on her stomach, the covers in a tangle around her lower legs, one arm dangling off the side of the bed, the other folded beneath her at an angle likely to be painful by morning. Her daughter had inherited her tendency to be a heavy sleeper. As she watched, Natalia lifted the dangling arm back onto the bed, then gently reached around the small child to gently ease the trapped arm free. Finally, she straightened and retucked the covers before leaning down to press a soft kiss to the girl's temple.
Emma never stirred.
Straightening, Natalia did a slow pivot, then felt her breath catch as she saw the woman watching from the open doorway. Not for the first time, it struck her how utterly stunning she found Olivia Spencer, with her glitter-green eyes, sculpted cheekbones, and mouth that could turn wicked or come hither in an instant, but which was at that precise moment simply turned up in expression of such love and affection that it made Natalia ache just to see it. She hooked a thumb over her shoulder and offered a quirked eyebrow and crooked smile. "She's definitely your kid," she mouthed almost inaudibly.
"What?" Olivia responded equally silently as waved for Natalia to follow her and head moved back toward the livingroom where they could have some privacy and not risk waking Emma-not that anything short of serious megatonnage was likely to do that. "Cute, charming, funny-"
"I was thinking comatose," Natalia teased.
"We Spencers are world class sleepers," Olivia admitted, then thrust the bundle of borrowed clothes at Natalia. "And speaking of sleeping..." She clamped a firm hand on the reins of her self control and refused to read the look in dark eyes as disappointment when she didn't press for more or consider the possibility that a warm hand might have lingered against hers just a little longer than necessary as the clothes were passed over. "You need a robe too?"
Natalia smiled and shook her head. "Nah, I finally have an excuse to steal one of the hotel freebies."
"Well, we only have the best at the Beacon." Fidgeting nervously, tired enough to want to go to bed, but eager enough for Natalia's company that she would have happily stayed awake if asked, Olivia offered a sweet smile and tried not to look too aroused by the notion of Natalia sleeping in her clothes. She looked down at her hands where they were clasped together in front of her, noting they were shaking ever so slightly. Good Lord, Spencer, you've finally lost your mind, she thought with some irony. Her gaze snapped up a beat later as velvet-soft fingers trailed along the line of her jaw, leaving little flutters of heat and awareness in their wake.
"Yes, you do," Natalia drawled, her tone making the comment about anything but robes.
Swallowing hard, Olivia clenched her hands at her sides, nails digging into her palms with the effort required to resist a thousand different flavors of sexual temptation. Not daring to reach back and touch-a brief kiss in her office had nearly led to an encounter on her desk, who knew what might happen in a room with an actual bed-she just stared, her breath coming in slow, ragged pants.
Both disappointed and pleased by Olivia's purposeful effort to resist the obvious temptation, Natalia arched up, fingers curling into the lapels of the taller woman's jacket with possessive strength. The press of her lips was soft and painstakingly slow as she laid a soft kiss onto the corner of full lips, savoring the moment. "I love you, Olivia Spencer," she whispered very softly as she pulled back.
Raising a hand in spite of her intentions, Olivia stroked silky hair and felt the want spiral and spin inside of her until it took all of her willpower to pull her hand back and let it fall to her side. "Getting late," she murmured when she finally spoke. "Should probably head for bed soon." Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself. "Probably going to be a long day tomorrow," she added to break the spell threatening to overtake her self control.
"Olivia," Natalia breathed the other woman's name
"I love you," Olivia exhaled raggedly, then added, "And I respect you...and I would never go against what you want...so..." She pressed a quick kiss to the other woman's cheek. "I really think I need a shower..." Of the cold variety. "...then bed...alone...now." She didn't give Natalia an opportunity to argue or really even to comment, just urged her over to the door with a gentle, nudging hand at the small of her back. "See you in the morning," she added at machine gun speed, then eased Natalia out the door and pushed it closed in her wake.
Alone, Olivia leaned against the door, barely resisting the urge to thud her head repeatedly against smooth wood, an image of herself clawing her way through it running through her head. "Not just into heaven," she added as her body wound itself a little tighter in contemplation of all the things they could be doing if she hadn't so determinedly turned over a new leaf where Natalia was concerned. She looked upward. "I'm gonna deserve the biggest damned cloud in the place."
She took a deep breath, then heaved a heavy sigh, standing there like that for a long moment as she consciously tried to settle herself.
A long moment later, Olivia moved away from the door and toward the bathroom. She'd never really realized just how much unsatisfied desire could hurt. Hell, she'd never really gone unsatisfied before. And now she was starting to talk to herself. Not a good sign. "Shower now," she reminded herself out loud as she headed toward the bathroom stripping off her clothes along the way. "Cold...no...who are you kidding. That would hurt...and really, you're in enough pain as it is."
Finally, she stepped under a hot shower and let the world slide away...
* * * * * * *
TBC