i am still consuming christmas candy. right now i am sitting in my underwear and debating whether to eat the hollowed-out former feet-part of a gold-foil-wrapped reindeer that i have been working on for a week. he has been delicious, and i think his base will have to wail until next time ( Read more... )

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO GRAD SCHOOL!

there, i said it.

but don't be surprised if you catch me applying next year because i am apparently just a glutton for academic punishment. mmm, yes. make me write that thesis. hurts so good. or not.

phrases i actually used in an essay for my upper level russian lit class on nabokov:

"statutory-rape-road-trip-extravaganza"

"achievement of sexy nymphet nirvana"

i am looking at either an A or an F. there's really no way of knowing.

it's so cold in my apartment that i can't read because my glasses are fogging up when i breathe.

this is because i won't turn the heat on because i refuse to acknowledge that winter is coming. IT SHOULD BE FALL FOR EVER.

oh sarah jaffe, you bag of laughs, what did you do on friday night? aw gee, y'know. just a few internship applications and some homework.

seriously.

rachel: my dick is so big carrie bradshaw dated it on and off for six seasons before eventually marrying it
me: my dick is so big that when i lost my virginity i created the universe
rachel: my dick is so big it went platinum
me: my dick is so big that its work has been translated into forty-six languages and it has been invited to speak at many ( Read more... )

okay, so the mccain/palin ticket is the complete ideological antithesis of absolutely everything i believe in. and yeah i understand that pro-life, pro-gun, anti-environmentalists who don't believe in global warming or evolution or taxing the rich might be some people's cup of terribly lukewarm, bitter tea, but um can we please talk about mccain's ( Read more... )

okay, i love my house, but i am like 90% sure there is something living in the walls.

KILL IT KILL IT AH

so, i've started having a good deal of fun here, which is why i've grown sort of silent in my dispatches. nobody wants to hear about good conversations i have and how much i'm learning and stuff. but! my life is hilarious, so i provide you with the following ( Read more... )

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/21/education/21endowments.html?em&ex=1216785600&en=7b92f03a02b04d0b&ei=5087%0A

oh hell yes. this speaks to just a few of my growing gripes about higher education.