where is my firefly?

Here it is. Trying to be better. I am not sure if making myself feel like shit makes this right. Or if it's just a step on the way. I wonder if you're willing to feel like shit for the better?

They're only chasing safety,
they're only chasing safety
they're only chasing safety.
( Read more... )

So follow your bliss
And destroy the beauty

I'll lock myself alone in a room
Drink until the clock strikes noon
With just a pen, a pill, and some paper
And maybe I will write a sad song
Or another cliche poem
Of the person that I long to be

Oh the irony of me drinking wine my room. I'm excited. And also nervous. I want to be a better person. I ( Read more... )

Well. There's alot to be said for winter break. And I guess there's alot to be said for coming back to school. It's like nothing has change. I wanted it to. I wanted to be brought back and dove right into where I left off. the beginning of my social life that I left here when finals were over. But now that I have been away, I mostly just ( Read more... )

I think we have an emergency
If you think I'd bleed than you were wrong
'cause I won't stop holding on

I can't pretend that I don't see this
It's really not your fault.

We deserve to be alive.So. I guess it's like this ( Read more... )

haha!! Initiated BITCH!!

ΑΓΔ

Finally...initiated.

But then again...i am kind of apathetic. Kind of excited about tomorrow...kind of ready to just accept things as they come. Sometimes, I just feel like my actions aren't clear. Yes, it's true I worry...but It's only because I love. I love so deeply and so strongly. And it's not so much that my ( Read more... )

Fuck you. Fuck what we stand for. Fuck the whole world right now, it’s shattered and now it’s harshness has cut me open. It rises with the fall. I don’t care what anyone else says, within yin comes yang. I cannot allow for my head to be fucked with like this, it’s not even my head, it’s my heart. You hold it in your hands-so tenderly, so ( Read more... )

Today is a day that I am SO glad to be alive.

The world makes sense today. It makes things good. I will list them here as to not forget them.

-all nighter without feeling like a block of cement fell on my head (26 hours and counting)
-rain in Orange County
-Overcast skies in Orange County
-The brisk walk in the cold to class and the purchase of a ( Read more... )

So clever, whatever, I'm done with these endeavors
Alone I'll walk the winding way, here I stay
It's over, no longer, I feel it growing stronger
I live to die another day, until I fade away

I feel like this is really the beginning...but at the same time I am so desensitized to the goodbyes, to all the things that used to seem like they meant so much ( Read more... )

Fuck. and double fuck. I can't think straight. Just...well, whatever. haha, point made.

So...I dragged myself out of bed today at the early hour of 10:30 am, and went to class, only to find out that it was cancelled. What a waste of caleries, walking to class to find out it isn't there. Oh well, so I came back to my dorm, slept a little, woke up. And now I am here. My mom sent me cookies (home made) because she is the coolest mom ( Read more... )