... and I have not yet done my year summary ( Read more... )

When I first came to the states I tried to fit in, even as I knew I would always be different. I remember that first pair of Guess jeans that my mom bought for me on sale. They were too small for me, but the tightness of them brough my thighs and hips in and made me look kind of skinny I thought, or at least shapely ( Read more... )

A lot of people I used to know are either married, engaged, or living together with some sweetheart or other. I am still hopelessly in love with yet another unavailable person ( Read more... )

I want to be happy again. Please?

something I wrote for my queer masculinity writing class ( Read more... )

to do before I die

-learn to fix bicycles. become a functional bike mechanic!
-learn to ride motorcycles
-have bigger arm muscles
-live with a lover and have it be sweeeeet as pie
-learn another language fluently
-write a song
-raise a kid/or two
-master Awareness, as a Toltec

I have been up since about 5:30, since I fell asleep around 7pm last night. I was going to drag myself out to eat some sushi, but couldn't do it ( Read more... )

It's snowing outside. Yesterday I went sledding in a park by her house, tried out every possible hill and had a lot of fun. I might still do some more of that today ( Read more... )

I don't care if I never get to "have" her again, in that hot and sweaty, tangled up, persistently trying to move through levels of physical pleasure into ecstacy way. I don't care if I should not write her poetry, or about her, and post it for the world to see. I don't care that I should not give her music, just books, because that's a bit less ( Read more... )

I spent the weekend in the sun, naked in the clearest river, in yoga, in amazing food, and in a group of people that I want to know, intimately and for the rest of my life ( Read more... )