how it goes
It's snowing outside. Yesterday I went sledding in a park by her house, tried out every possible hill and had a lot of fun. I might still do some more of that today.
It is really too cold to wander the city, and I am not sure if that is just my excuse to hibernate, but I don't feel like being out much.
I have never travelled to an unfamiliar city in the winter. It sure is different.
I like my spontaneous life. If somebody told me last summer that I will be visiting a new lover in Berlin in the winter, I would not have believed them. Or that I will be able to trust this much this soon, neither. And now it feels like my story about D is in the past, gone, and though sometimes I miss the sex we had, it is simply a twinge of desire, nothing profound missing, nothing tearing at me, as it used to. She has become a part of my learning over the last two years, a part of my life's landscape, and I am at peace with her presence.
Exploring my sexuality with this new one feels familiar and brand new at once. Exploring closeness, without relying too much, without taking for granted her presence at my side. I go to sleep every night coiled around her, warm from her skin and the pile of blankets on top of us. I smell her dear human smell, her sweat, her hair, her breath. I rub my face along the lines of her strong thighs, smooth belly, puckered nipples, I feel the touch of her thick hands, a little rough, dry and warm. I am falling in love with the parts of her, the whole of her, drawing lines between birthmarks, in awe at the length of her lashes, and the shadow on her cheeks in a certain light. The body is only a tactile map, a way to make real what feels so unphysical, a way to travel in real time this timeless sensation. Hours swallowed up lost within our voices. It feels I use all of me with her. From opening up to her fist, to drawing on her skin in permanent ink. The spaces in between -- filled, with words in english, russian, german, greek, spanish, yiddish. We have began to make up our own language, a system of communication from the elements of the world. We are world citizens. I travel beyond and want to take her with me. She resists. But humors me. Hello, Wooniverse.
It is really too cold to wander the city, and I am not sure if that is just my excuse to hibernate, but I don't feel like being out much.
I have never travelled to an unfamiliar city in the winter. It sure is different.
I like my spontaneous life. If somebody told me last summer that I will be visiting a new lover in Berlin in the winter, I would not have believed them. Or that I will be able to trust this much this soon, neither. And now it feels like my story about D is in the past, gone, and though sometimes I miss the sex we had, it is simply a twinge of desire, nothing profound missing, nothing tearing at me, as it used to. She has become a part of my learning over the last two years, a part of my life's landscape, and I am at peace with her presence.
Exploring my sexuality with this new one feels familiar and brand new at once. Exploring closeness, without relying too much, without taking for granted her presence at my side. I go to sleep every night coiled around her, warm from her skin and the pile of blankets on top of us. I smell her dear human smell, her sweat, her hair, her breath. I rub my face along the lines of her strong thighs, smooth belly, puckered nipples, I feel the touch of her thick hands, a little rough, dry and warm. I am falling in love with the parts of her, the whole of her, drawing lines between birthmarks, in awe at the length of her lashes, and the shadow on her cheeks in a certain light. The body is only a tactile map, a way to make real what feels so unphysical, a way to travel in real time this timeless sensation. Hours swallowed up lost within our voices. It feels I use all of me with her. From opening up to her fist, to drawing on her skin in permanent ink. The spaces in between -- filled, with words in english, russian, german, greek, spanish, yiddish. We have began to make up our own language, a system of communication from the elements of the world. We are world citizens. I travel beyond and want to take her with me. She resists. But humors me. Hello, Wooniverse.