[Today's blog is another voiceover Squalo's fish.]

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VOOOII, fuck the goddamn pranksters. That's all I'm going to say of that, but god damn it, people really have nothing better to do than waste time ( Read more... )

[Squalo sits back on the couch as the camera turns on, sprawling comfortably. Behind him, the piranha tank and on the table in front of him, a bowl of fries.]

VOOOII!

Someone, anyone, explain to me why the fuck cabbages exist. They aren't even that nutritive. They're just the bastard children of lettuce and spinach. Fucking inedible. VOOOII! I've ( Read more... )

The word of the day is diatribe.

By all means, do discuss.

[Chuckles darkly]

I think I might have to rechristen the damn column after all, what with my new assignment for this week. I believe I must procure myself an interview with certain people within the military.

[Content sigh]

This irony is delicious.

[Recording has a bit of echo, and in the background you can hear the sounds of a busy, noisy office.]

VOOOII!

So my editor thought it'd be "nice and considerate" to omit the column this Friday.

[Pause]

Because it's my birthday.

[SNORT; in a hurried, angry mutter:]

We all know it's because the last one had the complaint box overflowing and had two fail- ( Read more... )

[When you click play, you hear a faint whisper and silence. Once you turn the volume all the way up, though:]

--which is why, I'm afraid I can only say one thing:


( Read more... )

[Today's blog is sadly lacking actual Squalo. But have a view of his babies, since it's time to feed the piranhas.]


( Read more... )

[Sits back in front of the camera, and sighs, tugging a bit at his tie.]

VOOOII!

Alright!

Once more with the fucking whining about the execution. Let me tell you something, you damn crying babies, treason is a crime. Crimes get punished.

[Takes one hell of  a deep breath.]

PUNISHMENT IS NOT MEANT TO BE ENJOYED.
[Glares. Darkly. And waves a hand in ( Read more... )