4. Here's what I really want for my birthday... [Public Blog - Voice]
[Recording has a bit of echo, and in the background you can hear the sounds of a busy, noisy office.]
VOOOII!
So my editor thought it'd be "nice and considerate" to omit the column this Friday.
[Pause]
Because it's my birthday.
[SNORT; in a hurried, angry mutter:]
We all know it's because the last one had the complaint box overflowing and had two fail-suicid---oh, right, survivor groups had their knickers in a bunch. Fucktards. They can't even do that right!
[Siiiigh]
I can't bare to see what that Stupid Cow did to cover for my column. Is it as bad a I think it is? Please someone tell me she didn't make it another Beauty Special or some shit. Makes me sick just to imagine her fucking lame prose in my paper.
But, in the spirit of not depriving you of me for an entire week, I have only four things left to say:
Point number one: This isn't funny. And if you think it is... I hope you die.
Point number two: None of you losers have the lungs to use that word. You know what I'm talking about.
Point number three: The next person to give me flowers is going to need them surgically removed. From their fucking ass.
Point number four:. VOOOII! ...WHY do you have my address, you crazy fuckers?
[Cough]
I'll deal with you next week. Be considerate and try not to suck as much as usual, it is my birthday after all.
Anyone asking my age will be minced into fish food.
VOOOII!
VOOOII!
So my editor thought it'd be "nice and considerate" to omit the column this Friday.
[Pause]
Because it's my birthday.
[SNORT; in a hurried, angry mutter:]
We all know it's because the last one had the complaint box overflowing and had two fail-suicid---oh, right, survivor groups had their knickers in a bunch. Fucktards. They can't even do that right!
[Siiiigh]
I can't bare to see what that Stupid Cow did to cover for my column. Is it as bad a I think it is? Please someone tell me she didn't make it another Beauty Special or some shit. Makes me sick just to imagine her fucking lame prose in my paper.
But, in the spirit of not depriving you of me for an entire week, I have only four things left to say:
Point number one: This isn't funny. And if you think it is... I hope you die.
Point number two: None of you losers have the lungs to use that word. You know what I'm talking about.
Point number three: The next person to give me flowers is going to need them surgically removed. From their fucking ass.
Point number four:. VOOOII! ...WHY do you have my address, you crazy fuckers?
[Cough]
I'll deal with you next week. Be considerate and try not to suck as much as usual, it is my birthday after all.
Anyone asking my age will be minced into fish food.
VOOOII!