Fic: Well Maybe What You Want is Right Here 5/?
Title: Well Maybe What You Want is Right Here 5/?
Pairing: Arizona/Callie
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sometimes we don't realize what we want until we just know. Takes place a day or two after the scene in 11x08. Timeline may not be perfectly canon.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
“Okay, I can’t tell what this face is,” Amelia grabs her coffee from the girl at the coffee cart and waves her hand in my direction, “You look like someone just told you your puppy has a terminal illness.”
I blink, looking back towards the woman beside me.
“What?”
The neurosurgeon sips her coffee, raising her eyebrow slightly.
“What’s with the staring off into space? The serious look? You’ve clearly got something on your mind.”
“Oh,” I look down at my cup, then back at her as we start walking down the hall. It’s early, so it’s still pretty quiet around the hospital. I guess I kind of have been lost in my thoughts the last day or two. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s obviously something. I may not have seen you in six years, Arizona, but I knew you well enough to know when something’s up. Is it this whole thing with Herman?”
I just shake my head, taking another long drink of coffee. I don’t have that many friends around here that weren’t Callie’s friends first. Amelia and I were at Hopkins together, and we were pretty close by the end of our time there, even though we drifted apart once we each left for different hospitals. Since she’s moved out to Seattle we’ve spent a little time together catching up, but there is so much she missed over the last six years. So much.
“I went on a date with Callie the other night. My ex-wife.”
The dark haired woman is silent for a minute, considering my admission, and I glance over quickly at her. I could use her friendship again.
“Callie...Torres, right? She’s hot,” she nods, leaning back on the wall as we come to a stop outside the lounge, “Yeah I’ve heard you guys were married. Your daughter Sofia is adorable, by the way. Smart too. I met her at Mere’s a couple times.”
I smile proudly, leaning back beside her.
“She is. Her and Zola are best friends.”
“So you went on a date with your ex-wife. I think you’re gonna need to fill me in on the rest of this story, Robbins. Cause obviously this has you kind of twisty inside.”
Letting out a heavy sigh, I run my fingers back through my hair. That’s an understatement.
“Short version or do you have a couple hours?”
She just laughs, shooting me a grin before looking at her watch.
“Surgery in forty minutes. Short version.”
The look on her face earns a laugh from me too, and I look down to study my cup, choosing my words carefully.
“So, Callie. We met a few months after I moved here, I kissed her in the bathroom at Joe’s, and we started dating. I fell for her - like fell fell - hard. We were together for a year, then the kids topic came up and we wanted different things and so we split up. But then we were locked together during the hospital shooting and...well it changed things,” I reflect on that memory for a minute, so burned into my mind. Still surreal when I think about it, like so many other things in my life.
“But then, six months later I won the Carter-Madison, we fought again, and I basically broke up with her at the airport and took off for Africa,” I laugh bitterly at the memory. We’d been screwing this up almost right from the start.
“I was so in love though. Couldn’t last more than two months without her, so I came back to beg for forgiveness.....and found out she was pregnant with Sofia.”
Amelia looks up at that, surprised.
“Wait, what?”
I just wave a hand, shaking my head.
“Not important. She slept with Mark, got pregnant. I love my daughter and no one can ever tell me she’s not mine, so it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Wait Sofia is Mark’s...?” she trails off quietly, the mention of his name no doubt stirring up her own memories, “Oookay.”
“So I came back, we got back together, her and Sofia almost died in a car crash and then we got engaged and we got married,” I ramble on in a long breath.
“We were so, so happy,” a smile tugs at my lips now, and I trace the lid of my cup absently, “It was finally perfect, it really was. I had this amazing, miraculously beautiful wife who loved me, a perfect baby girl who was healthy and happy. Even Mark...I grew to appreciate Mark’s friendship, his role in Sofia’s life. I was literally living the dream with Callie.”
I hesitate a minute, keeping my gaze locked on the cup.
“Then the plane crashed.”
I glance up for just a second and she meets my eyes, traces of sorrow etched across her gaze.
“Yeah, the plane,” she lets out a breath, “I heard about that right after it happened...I mean, because Derek and Meredith...I should have called or something though, Arizona. I mean,” she gives me a wry smile, “I was pretty fucked up myself then, but I still could have gotten in touch.”
I give my friend a small smile.
“Nothing to be sorry for. Honestly, I wouldn’t have spoken to you anyway. I didn’t really...I didn’t talk to anyone.”
She just nods, settling back against the wall again.
“I get it.”
“So...” I sigh heavily, “the plane crashed. I lost my leg, ended up in a very dark place for a very long time, and basically shut Callie out completely. I was awful to her. I mean...” I swallow a little, speaking more quietly, hating even the thought of those long months, “I was awful. She stuck by me, at least as much as I would let her...eventually we were on the mend and we...I...got pregnant. I felt like we were getting our life back. I was so excited to give Sofia a little sister or brother. We bought a house.”
In an uncharacteristic move for her, I feel Amelia’s free hand meet mine where it hangs between us, and she just takes it silently, squeezing. I didn’t know it at that moment, but I’d soon learn that she’d lost her own child all too recently; she did know how I felt.
“I lost the baby. I think things started to unravel then....I was in a bad place again, the relationship was strained. I ended up sleeping with someone else. She forgave me and we tried to move on, even started planning to have a baby again...but everything just...imploded,” the last word leaves my lips in a whisper, and I let go of her hand, bringing my fingers up to wipe at the tears threatening to fall from the corner of my eye.
“We tried therapy for a couple months, but in the end I just wasn’t enough for her anymore. I wasn’t making her happy. So,” I lean my head back on the wall, giving a half-hearted shrug, “she asked for a divorce. Separation, whatever. She said we were over.”
“Arizona...”
I shrug slightly again, rubbing the corner of my eye, composing myself.
“Now you’re caught up. Welcome to the complete fuck-up that is my personal life.”
Amelia turns to face me, leaning her shoulder on the wall instead, and I can feel her eyes studying me.
“Yeah, that’s pretty fucked up. All of it. And it’s pretty bad if I’m saying that.”
“I just keep losing everyone, Amy,” my voice feels quiet in the empty hallway, “Joanne, Emily - you saw me drive her away. And then after Tim...I mean when I moved out here, I put on the happy face but I didn’t think I’d ever really be happy again. It felt like half of me was missing. But then Calliope, she became my other half. She...she gave me a kind of love I didn’t even know I wanted, or needed - that I didn’t even know was possible. I was so happy and then it was ripped away from me again. My own fault this time, but...”
“Okay, I’m pretty sure it was her fault too. Sounds like you both made a mess of everything. Which...” she looks down, then takes a long drink and finishes her coffee, “sucks. It sucks, Arizona, big time. Cause from what I’ve heard you guys were kind of amazing together. And trust me when I say I know what it’s like to be down that very dark, very lonely hole. Where you seem to be a recurrent guest now.”
I look at her, brow furrowing slightly, but she just shakes her head like she doesn’t want to elaborate.
“But, you and Callie went on a date? I mean, is this a step towards reconciliation or...?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. Maybe. I mean....” I pause, tucking hair behind my ear, “the date went well. It was nice.”
“But...?”
“But I don’t know.”
“She broke your heart.”
“I’m pretty sure I broke hers first....I just...” I look at the other woman again, “I thought she would fight for me, you know? For us. When we were in therapy I was so hopeful by the end that things were finally on the right track. It honestly felt like they were. And then....she just gave up on us.”
I feel Amelia’s hand slide over my shoulder, and she squeezes firmly, letting a short silence settle between us.
“She might have been a little slow to catch up, but sounds like she’s ready to fight for you now. You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?”
My answer is immediate and slips easily from my lips.
“So much.”
She squeezes my shoulder again reassuringly.
“So, let her fight for you. You’re allowed to be guarded, Arizona, but you can be hopeful too.”
I raise my eyebrow slightly, studying her.
“Are you being optimistic? Where’s Amelia Shepherd and what have you done with her?”
She narrows her eyes playfully.
“Shut up. I may be slightly less dark and pessimistic than previously known. Blah blah something about life experience.”
I just grin. God, I didn’t even know I missed her, but I am so glad to have this woman back in my life.
“But you know, if you still love her and you want to be with her, then why not give her another shot? I’m not saying you should fall immediately back into a relationship with her, but,” she drops her hand from my shoulder, shrugging, “if she’s willing to pursue you after several months of being divorced, sounds like there could still be something there.”
I muse over her words, thinking about dinner the other night. There was still an unmistakeable spark between us. I felt it, and I’m pretty sure she was feeling it too. And the fact that Callie had approached me for once was a definite change. I feel like I’ve always been the one to chase her, to desperately try and make things right after we fought or separated or battled through our issues.
“I mean, don’t make it easy though.”
Her voice pulls me back from my thoughts, and I look at her again.
“What?”
She checks her watch, then takes a few steps around me to toss her empty coffee cup in the nearby garbage.
“Don’t make it easy. She’s the one who gave up on the marriage, right? So she’s gotta prove that she wants you back. That she’s gonna fight this time.”
“I’m really not into playing high school games...I’m too old for that.”
She just grins as she pulls a hair tie from her pocket and reaches up to scoop dark hair into a ponytail.
“I didn’t say games. I’m just saying Dr. Gillis has been talking about you a lot lately. She was in with me and Karev on that 12-year-old’s neuroendoscopy last week and I spent a good couple hours of my time hearing about how fantastic and inspirational and,” she makes exaggerated swoony eyes, “wonderful you are.”
She leans in, a cheeky grin on her face.
“a.k.a. pretty sure she’s got the hots for you.”
Oh god. I can feel a slight blush starting to colour my neck. We’d gone out once! And it wasn’t even a date. I had dinner with her because she’s new to the hospital and she’s in Peds and I was being friendly.
“So, I’m just saying,” she straightens up again, laughing a little at my reaction, “Don’t make it too easy on the ex. She’s gotta earn it. If cute new doctor acts on her crush, don’t think you can’t enjoy it. I know you want Callie back, but there’s no reason not to leave your options open.”
Maybe she’s right, but if Callie and I are going to make things work again I don’t want to waste any more time, either. We’ve done enough of that.
“You’re worth it, Arizona. And if Callie’s not an idiot, she’ll see that. The you I used to know always knew that - so don’t forget it now.”
She heads off down the hall toward the elevators, and I toss my empty cup and head up towards Herman’s office, where I’m meeting her to go over some more incoming cases. It would be so easy to fall back into a relationship with Callie now that she’d opened this door - from the moment I met her she’d been my biggest weakness. She looks at me with her dark, beautiful eyes, and I just can’t help but want to be with her. Maybe Amelia is right though. And Alex, with what he said the night before our date. She’s the love of my life and the mother of my child, but...I’ve had to earn my way back to her more than once over the years. Maybe it would be nice to know she’s willing to do the same.
*
“Dr. Robbins!”
Later that afternoon, I sign off on my chart and look up towards the sound of someone calling my name, smiling at the brunette making her way towards me.
“Arizona.”
Laura Gillis smiles as she approaches the nurses’ station, reaching around me slightly to set her tablet into the charger on the desk, “How was your surgery this morning? I saw it on the board. Sounded pretty intense.”
“It was. But it went really well. The mother should be fine to go home in a few days actually; everything is looking great with the baby right now.”
I hand the chart to the nurse, leaning on the counter while the brunette signs off on a few things herself. She’s a nice woman - genuinely nice, from what I’ve seen so far - and talented too. A smart addition to the Peds department, and I really should commend the Chief on getting her to transfer in.
“I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner tonight.”
I turn my head to look at her, momentarily caught off guard.
“Hm?”
The younger woman smiles confidently, raising her eyebrow ever so slightly.
“I said, I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner tonight?”
Oh.
Amelia had been right.
“I...ah...I’m not really, right now. It’s complicated,” I reply lamely. I’ve so lost any game I ever had.
She grins at me then, and I have to admit she is a beautiful woman. Wavy, dark brown hair pulled into a loose ponytail, hazel eyes, a slightly olive complexion that makes me think she must have some Spanish or Mediterranean blood in her. By all means, definitely good looking.
“It’s just dinner, Arizona. I was thinking that little Greek restaurant a couple blocks down. It’s not like I’m going to expect you to come home with me after.”
I laugh, grinning back at her.
“Wow, so did I just totally misinterpret a very platonic invite to dinner?”
The brunette’s eyes glance over me subtly, surprising me, and she leans in a little closer.
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t want you to come home with me after, I said I wouldn’t expect it. But I’d really like to take you to dinner either way.”
What the hell. I want Callie, and I want to give our relationship another chance, but I don’t owe her anything. And I don’t know where any of that is going right now. I think of Amelia’s words and make a quick decision; enjoying this woman’s company is certainly better than being miserable at home.
As I make up my mind a smile tugs at my lips, and I meet the other woman’s eyes.
“I’m off at 6. What time do you want to meet?”
*
Callie
I watch the unfamiliar brunette talking to Arizona at the nurses’ station. Alex had paged me for a consult on a kid with a broken shoulder, but as I approached the Peds floor I heard Arizona’s laughter and now I’m watching the blonde smile at this woman with....with an almost flirty look on her face.
Scratch that. My eyes narrow a little as I see the brunette slide a hand over Arizona’s forearm, and Arizona leans in closer, giving her what is definitely a flirty smile.
I know that smile. I’ve been the recipient of that smile. That smile has gotten me into bed more times than I can count.
“Yo, Torres, about time.”
I jump slightly at the gruff voice approaching behind me and slide back around the corner.
“Alex, shut up!” I hiss, keeping my voice low.
The younger attending comes to a stop in front of me, giving me an annoyed look.
“Dude, what’s your problem? I paged you...” he trails off as he notices my line of sight, and takes in the two women still over at the nurses’ station. A knowing smirk comes over his face as he looks back at me.
“I thought your date went well the other night.”
“It did,” I glance over at Arizona again to see her laughing at something else the younger woman has said, “I mean, I thought it did. And I called her the next morning...who is that?”
He looks over again.
“Gillis. She’s gonna be my new Peds fellow. She’s good.”
I feel a slight scowl tugging at my mouth.
“She’s hot too,” he adds.
I make what I’m sure is a frustrated sound and shove my hands into the pockets of my lab coat.
“That’s Dr. Gillis? Laura Gillis? Ugh, she is hot.”
“Looks like Robbins thinks so too. Now come on, knock it off with the jealous rage. I got a kid waiting.”
He strides through the doors, looking at me expectantly, and I follow him onto the Peds floor and down the hall towards the patient rooms. I glance at Arizona as we pass, as the other woman walks away, and she smiles at me. I swallow hard and force myself to return the smile as we round the corner, but the feelings rising inside of me are unlike anything I’ve felt before when it comes to her. I never considered myself a jealous person, but seeing her talking and laughing and flirting with that woman just...it stirs something ugly inside me. I growl in frustration and run a hand through my hair, pulling myself together before I follow Alex into the patient’s room.
It was not supposed to go like this.
Pairing: Arizona/Callie
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sometimes we don't realize what we want until we just know. Takes place a day or two after the scene in 11x08. Timeline may not be perfectly canon.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
“Okay, I can’t tell what this face is,” Amelia grabs her coffee from the girl at the coffee cart and waves her hand in my direction, “You look like someone just told you your puppy has a terminal illness.”
I blink, looking back towards the woman beside me.
“What?”
The neurosurgeon sips her coffee, raising her eyebrow slightly.
“What’s with the staring off into space? The serious look? You’ve clearly got something on your mind.”
“Oh,” I look down at my cup, then back at her as we start walking down the hall. It’s early, so it’s still pretty quiet around the hospital. I guess I kind of have been lost in my thoughts the last day or two. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s obviously something. I may not have seen you in six years, Arizona, but I knew you well enough to know when something’s up. Is it this whole thing with Herman?”
I just shake my head, taking another long drink of coffee. I don’t have that many friends around here that weren’t Callie’s friends first. Amelia and I were at Hopkins together, and we were pretty close by the end of our time there, even though we drifted apart once we each left for different hospitals. Since she’s moved out to Seattle we’ve spent a little time together catching up, but there is so much she missed over the last six years. So much.
“I went on a date with Callie the other night. My ex-wife.”
The dark haired woman is silent for a minute, considering my admission, and I glance over quickly at her. I could use her friendship again.
“Callie...Torres, right? She’s hot,” she nods, leaning back on the wall as we come to a stop outside the lounge, “Yeah I’ve heard you guys were married. Your daughter Sofia is adorable, by the way. Smart too. I met her at Mere’s a couple times.”
I smile proudly, leaning back beside her.
“She is. Her and Zola are best friends.”
“So you went on a date with your ex-wife. I think you’re gonna need to fill me in on the rest of this story, Robbins. Cause obviously this has you kind of twisty inside.”
Letting out a heavy sigh, I run my fingers back through my hair. That’s an understatement.
“Short version or do you have a couple hours?”
She just laughs, shooting me a grin before looking at her watch.
“Surgery in forty minutes. Short version.”
The look on her face earns a laugh from me too, and I look down to study my cup, choosing my words carefully.
“So, Callie. We met a few months after I moved here, I kissed her in the bathroom at Joe’s, and we started dating. I fell for her - like fell fell - hard. We were together for a year, then the kids topic came up and we wanted different things and so we split up. But then we were locked together during the hospital shooting and...well it changed things,” I reflect on that memory for a minute, so burned into my mind. Still surreal when I think about it, like so many other things in my life.
“But then, six months later I won the Carter-Madison, we fought again, and I basically broke up with her at the airport and took off for Africa,” I laugh bitterly at the memory. We’d been screwing this up almost right from the start.
“I was so in love though. Couldn’t last more than two months without her, so I came back to beg for forgiveness.....and found out she was pregnant with Sofia.”
Amelia looks up at that, surprised.
“Wait, what?”
I just wave a hand, shaking my head.
“Not important. She slept with Mark, got pregnant. I love my daughter and no one can ever tell me she’s not mine, so it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Wait Sofia is Mark’s...?” she trails off quietly, the mention of his name no doubt stirring up her own memories, “Oookay.”
“So I came back, we got back together, her and Sofia almost died in a car crash and then we got engaged and we got married,” I ramble on in a long breath.
“We were so, so happy,” a smile tugs at my lips now, and I trace the lid of my cup absently, “It was finally perfect, it really was. I had this amazing, miraculously beautiful wife who loved me, a perfect baby girl who was healthy and happy. Even Mark...I grew to appreciate Mark’s friendship, his role in Sofia’s life. I was literally living the dream with Callie.”
I hesitate a minute, keeping my gaze locked on the cup.
“Then the plane crashed.”
I glance up for just a second and she meets my eyes, traces of sorrow etched across her gaze.
“Yeah, the plane,” she lets out a breath, “I heard about that right after it happened...I mean, because Derek and Meredith...I should have called or something though, Arizona. I mean,” she gives me a wry smile, “I was pretty fucked up myself then, but I still could have gotten in touch.”
I give my friend a small smile.
“Nothing to be sorry for. Honestly, I wouldn’t have spoken to you anyway. I didn’t really...I didn’t talk to anyone.”
She just nods, settling back against the wall again.
“I get it.”
“So...” I sigh heavily, “the plane crashed. I lost my leg, ended up in a very dark place for a very long time, and basically shut Callie out completely. I was awful to her. I mean...” I swallow a little, speaking more quietly, hating even the thought of those long months, “I was awful. She stuck by me, at least as much as I would let her...eventually we were on the mend and we...I...got pregnant. I felt like we were getting our life back. I was so excited to give Sofia a little sister or brother. We bought a house.”
In an uncharacteristic move for her, I feel Amelia’s free hand meet mine where it hangs between us, and she just takes it silently, squeezing. I didn’t know it at that moment, but I’d soon learn that she’d lost her own child all too recently; she did know how I felt.
“I lost the baby. I think things started to unravel then....I was in a bad place again, the relationship was strained. I ended up sleeping with someone else. She forgave me and we tried to move on, even started planning to have a baby again...but everything just...imploded,” the last word leaves my lips in a whisper, and I let go of her hand, bringing my fingers up to wipe at the tears threatening to fall from the corner of my eye.
“We tried therapy for a couple months, but in the end I just wasn’t enough for her anymore. I wasn’t making her happy. So,” I lean my head back on the wall, giving a half-hearted shrug, “she asked for a divorce. Separation, whatever. She said we were over.”
“Arizona...”
I shrug slightly again, rubbing the corner of my eye, composing myself.
“Now you’re caught up. Welcome to the complete fuck-up that is my personal life.”
Amelia turns to face me, leaning her shoulder on the wall instead, and I can feel her eyes studying me.
“Yeah, that’s pretty fucked up. All of it. And it’s pretty bad if I’m saying that.”
“I just keep losing everyone, Amy,” my voice feels quiet in the empty hallway, “Joanne, Emily - you saw me drive her away. And then after Tim...I mean when I moved out here, I put on the happy face but I didn’t think I’d ever really be happy again. It felt like half of me was missing. But then Calliope, she became my other half. She...she gave me a kind of love I didn’t even know I wanted, or needed - that I didn’t even know was possible. I was so happy and then it was ripped away from me again. My own fault this time, but...”
“Okay, I’m pretty sure it was her fault too. Sounds like you both made a mess of everything. Which...” she looks down, then takes a long drink and finishes her coffee, “sucks. It sucks, Arizona, big time. Cause from what I’ve heard you guys were kind of amazing together. And trust me when I say I know what it’s like to be down that very dark, very lonely hole. Where you seem to be a recurrent guest now.”
I look at her, brow furrowing slightly, but she just shakes her head like she doesn’t want to elaborate.
“But, you and Callie went on a date? I mean, is this a step towards reconciliation or...?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. Maybe. I mean....” I pause, tucking hair behind my ear, “the date went well. It was nice.”
“But...?”
“But I don’t know.”
“She broke your heart.”
“I’m pretty sure I broke hers first....I just...” I look at the other woman again, “I thought she would fight for me, you know? For us. When we were in therapy I was so hopeful by the end that things were finally on the right track. It honestly felt like they were. And then....she just gave up on us.”
I feel Amelia’s hand slide over my shoulder, and she squeezes firmly, letting a short silence settle between us.
“She might have been a little slow to catch up, but sounds like she’s ready to fight for you now. You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?”
My answer is immediate and slips easily from my lips.
“So much.”
She squeezes my shoulder again reassuringly.
“So, let her fight for you. You’re allowed to be guarded, Arizona, but you can be hopeful too.”
I raise my eyebrow slightly, studying her.
“Are you being optimistic? Where’s Amelia Shepherd and what have you done with her?”
She narrows her eyes playfully.
“Shut up. I may be slightly less dark and pessimistic than previously known. Blah blah something about life experience.”
I just grin. God, I didn’t even know I missed her, but I am so glad to have this woman back in my life.
“But you know, if you still love her and you want to be with her, then why not give her another shot? I’m not saying you should fall immediately back into a relationship with her, but,” she drops her hand from my shoulder, shrugging, “if she’s willing to pursue you after several months of being divorced, sounds like there could still be something there.”
I muse over her words, thinking about dinner the other night. There was still an unmistakeable spark between us. I felt it, and I’m pretty sure she was feeling it too. And the fact that Callie had approached me for once was a definite change. I feel like I’ve always been the one to chase her, to desperately try and make things right after we fought or separated or battled through our issues.
“I mean, don’t make it easy though.”
Her voice pulls me back from my thoughts, and I look at her again.
“What?”
She checks her watch, then takes a few steps around me to toss her empty coffee cup in the nearby garbage.
“Don’t make it easy. She’s the one who gave up on the marriage, right? So she’s gotta prove that she wants you back. That she’s gonna fight this time.”
“I’m really not into playing high school games...I’m too old for that.”
She just grins as she pulls a hair tie from her pocket and reaches up to scoop dark hair into a ponytail.
“I didn’t say games. I’m just saying Dr. Gillis has been talking about you a lot lately. She was in with me and Karev on that 12-year-old’s neuroendoscopy last week and I spent a good couple hours of my time hearing about how fantastic and inspirational and,” she makes exaggerated swoony eyes, “wonderful you are.”
She leans in, a cheeky grin on her face.
“a.k.a. pretty sure she’s got the hots for you.”
Oh god. I can feel a slight blush starting to colour my neck. We’d gone out once! And it wasn’t even a date. I had dinner with her because she’s new to the hospital and she’s in Peds and I was being friendly.
“So, I’m just saying,” she straightens up again, laughing a little at my reaction, “Don’t make it too easy on the ex. She’s gotta earn it. If cute new doctor acts on her crush, don’t think you can’t enjoy it. I know you want Callie back, but there’s no reason not to leave your options open.”
Maybe she’s right, but if Callie and I are going to make things work again I don’t want to waste any more time, either. We’ve done enough of that.
“You’re worth it, Arizona. And if Callie’s not an idiot, she’ll see that. The you I used to know always knew that - so don’t forget it now.”
She heads off down the hall toward the elevators, and I toss my empty cup and head up towards Herman’s office, where I’m meeting her to go over some more incoming cases. It would be so easy to fall back into a relationship with Callie now that she’d opened this door - from the moment I met her she’d been my biggest weakness. She looks at me with her dark, beautiful eyes, and I just can’t help but want to be with her. Maybe Amelia is right though. And Alex, with what he said the night before our date. She’s the love of my life and the mother of my child, but...I’ve had to earn my way back to her more than once over the years. Maybe it would be nice to know she’s willing to do the same.
*
“Dr. Robbins!”
Later that afternoon, I sign off on my chart and look up towards the sound of someone calling my name, smiling at the brunette making her way towards me.
“Arizona.”
Laura Gillis smiles as she approaches the nurses’ station, reaching around me slightly to set her tablet into the charger on the desk, “How was your surgery this morning? I saw it on the board. Sounded pretty intense.”
“It was. But it went really well. The mother should be fine to go home in a few days actually; everything is looking great with the baby right now.”
I hand the chart to the nurse, leaning on the counter while the brunette signs off on a few things herself. She’s a nice woman - genuinely nice, from what I’ve seen so far - and talented too. A smart addition to the Peds department, and I really should commend the Chief on getting her to transfer in.
“I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner tonight.”
I turn my head to look at her, momentarily caught off guard.
“Hm?”
The younger woman smiles confidently, raising her eyebrow ever so slightly.
“I said, I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner tonight?”
Oh.
Amelia had been right.
“I...ah...I’m not really, right now. It’s complicated,” I reply lamely. I’ve so lost any game I ever had.
She grins at me then, and I have to admit she is a beautiful woman. Wavy, dark brown hair pulled into a loose ponytail, hazel eyes, a slightly olive complexion that makes me think she must have some Spanish or Mediterranean blood in her. By all means, definitely good looking.
“It’s just dinner, Arizona. I was thinking that little Greek restaurant a couple blocks down. It’s not like I’m going to expect you to come home with me after.”
I laugh, grinning back at her.
“Wow, so did I just totally misinterpret a very platonic invite to dinner?”
The brunette’s eyes glance over me subtly, surprising me, and she leans in a little closer.
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t want you to come home with me after, I said I wouldn’t expect it. But I’d really like to take you to dinner either way.”
What the hell. I want Callie, and I want to give our relationship another chance, but I don’t owe her anything. And I don’t know where any of that is going right now. I think of Amelia’s words and make a quick decision; enjoying this woman’s company is certainly better than being miserable at home.
As I make up my mind a smile tugs at my lips, and I meet the other woman’s eyes.
“I’m off at 6. What time do you want to meet?”
*
Callie
I watch the unfamiliar brunette talking to Arizona at the nurses’ station. Alex had paged me for a consult on a kid with a broken shoulder, but as I approached the Peds floor I heard Arizona’s laughter and now I’m watching the blonde smile at this woman with....with an almost flirty look on her face.
Scratch that. My eyes narrow a little as I see the brunette slide a hand over Arizona’s forearm, and Arizona leans in closer, giving her what is definitely a flirty smile.
I know that smile. I’ve been the recipient of that smile. That smile has gotten me into bed more times than I can count.
“Yo, Torres, about time.”
I jump slightly at the gruff voice approaching behind me and slide back around the corner.
“Alex, shut up!” I hiss, keeping my voice low.
The younger attending comes to a stop in front of me, giving me an annoyed look.
“Dude, what’s your problem? I paged you...” he trails off as he notices my line of sight, and takes in the two women still over at the nurses’ station. A knowing smirk comes over his face as he looks back at me.
“I thought your date went well the other night.”
“It did,” I glance over at Arizona again to see her laughing at something else the younger woman has said, “I mean, I thought it did. And I called her the next morning...who is that?”
He looks over again.
“Gillis. She’s gonna be my new Peds fellow. She’s good.”
I feel a slight scowl tugging at my mouth.
“She’s hot too,” he adds.
I make what I’m sure is a frustrated sound and shove my hands into the pockets of my lab coat.
“That’s Dr. Gillis? Laura Gillis? Ugh, she is hot.”
“Looks like Robbins thinks so too. Now come on, knock it off with the jealous rage. I got a kid waiting.”
He strides through the doors, looking at me expectantly, and I follow him onto the Peds floor and down the hall towards the patient rooms. I glance at Arizona as we pass, as the other woman walks away, and she smiles at me. I swallow hard and force myself to return the smile as we round the corner, but the feelings rising inside of me are unlike anything I’ve felt before when it comes to her. I never considered myself a jealous person, but seeing her talking and laughing and flirting with that woman just...it stirs something ugly inside me. I growl in frustration and run a hand through my hair, pulling myself together before I follow Alex into the patient’s room.
It was not supposed to go like this.