There I was, stopped at a red light when I noticed a lonely little thing sitting on the corner. Someone had discarded a decent sized vibrator. I began to ponder why anyone would chunk a vibrator out their car window. Did some lucky gal obtain a newer, better vibrator? Was it the victim of a jealous boyfriend? Perhaps a born-again Christian decided ( Read more... )

Ever have one of those days where every task you attempt to complete, no matter how small, becomes a huge hurtle that you can barely stretch your legs over ( Read more... )

...and said Go forth and be fruitful and multiply.

And Gary knew Karen and it was good. And Karen did conceive.

That's right, bitches. We're pregnant. How ya like them apples? *huge nervous grin*

Also, YES. I did mean to type "spake". That's how they rolled in Biblical times.

Theme: Disney. Ready? Let's go.
Ok, first thing's first. This guy has taken his admiration for Disney way too far. Ridiculous. Next, I found a couple myths surrounding Disney. I had always heard he was frozen under Disney Land. Much to my dismay, he is not. He did, however condone the murder of lemmings. Not many people are aware, but Mickey did ( Read more... )

Gary is way cool.
Oh, how I lust after him.
When can we do it?

*sigh* Not till tomorrow night. Stupid overnight job.

Please, please, please ENTERTAIN ME.

I write this just before I head out to work. My shift starts at 5pm and it'll be too busy to check on here till around 8pm. So that gives you guys 4 hours to come up with some interesting tidbits.

I'm begging. Tonight's going to be horrible. Send me something to help numb my brain.

I absolutely hate when a dream from the night before comes flooding back to me and ruins an otherwise fantastic day. Now I have an uncomfortable pit in my stomach.

Should I be concerned with the fact that a copy of the Holy Bible just jumped off the shelf bringing down 4 other books with it? (Yes I own a copy of the Bible, along with a plethora of books on all types of religions ( Read more... )

I dreamt that voluptuousvi and schmeddy had their baby. Everyone was excited because it was 11-11. Lots of cheering and clapping and freaking out about "It's an 11-11 baby! Hurray!" Just thought I'd document that in case it really happens. Then I can prove to the world how incredibly gifted and psychic I am, and stuff.

The past few weeks I've been coming to terms with the fact I will be stuck in my current position at work. Also, I was looking into the whole hair career option (which I would apparently have to save up for anyways). I was just settled back in and accepting the fact that I was sort of stuck for the time being when I was awakened this morning by ( Read more... )