Are you ever sitting in your own body, watching yourself be an asshole, not really knowing why you are doing it? I feel like this is an almost constant feeling for me anymore. And it is silly, because I have everything to be happy about. I love my partner, and I'm working toward what I want to be in my life. But somehow I still feel...uninspired. I ( Read more... )

, 6ometimes I question the validity of being involved with another person. It is soooo scary. Especially when it new and you don't know how much of yourself to give up. I want to be the type of person who is authentic and comfortable with herself. I want to be the kind of person who would "risk anything for love." I want to trust others to love me ( Read more... )

Hugging a pillow ( Read more... )

I have been having a lot of dreams about Spencer recently. Which is wierd, because I didn't have dreams about him for almost four years since we broke up. Mom tells me this is just because I'm working out my stuff with him and our relationship and not to read to much into it. But I cant help but feel nostalgic about my relationship with him and to ( Read more... )

I am like a lion ( Read more... )

Alone, on a frigid snow lit patio ( Read more... )

Power, drips,
Through poison lips,
Straight into my mouth.
Lost, looking,
For empowering madness,
Within your unexpectng adoration.
Knowing,every second,
That your beating anticipations,
I will eventually destroy.
Enjoyment, melts,
Down a broken chest,
Warming my emptiness.

The headlights coming down the highway
Beat against my eyes
And run me over.
Like the look I see in your face
When you walk beside me
All the way there.
The boots you've given me to warm my feet
Are too big to cover me
And leave me colder.
Your momentary touch upon my leg
Aches through my whole body
And does not linger long enough.

So, I'm in need of a little support right now ( Read more... )

To be able to look at ones life. What if you review it and it doesn't match up with how you want it to be? The way it was suppossed to be? I look at myself now, at my life now, and I feel so disappointed with myself. If people who knew me in highschool, my teachers, my friends, my classmates could see me now what would they think? If I myself four ( Read more... )