At least I'm not knocked up by my uncle.
So, I'm in need of a little support right now.
So I'm having car problems. Like, my car randomly stalls when I am driving. It has been to two mechanics in a month. And every time I get it back because they think it is "fixed" it stalls within a day. The mechanic who has been working on it is a VW mechanic and seems quite compitent and at this point he has no idea what it is. They have changed several hoses on the fuel line, the fuel filter, fuel pump and the engine computer. I got it back Wednesday after the engine computer and it almost stalled on the way home from work. I have spent nearly all the money I have. I do have about five hundred left in my savings. I have maxed out my credit card. And I just don't know what to do anymore. I have been busing to work. But I can't afford a bus pass on a monthly basis because they are $130 a month. Especially since my rent in currently half of my pay each month. My lease is up in January and I am hoping to find some place with better rent, but chances are small that the decrease will be significant unless I can find a roommate.
Additionally, I am frequently at work until after 7 by myself and the area is not so safe for me hanging out at the bus stop. It scares me and makes me nervous. I certainly could look into a second job but it would have to be in walking distance and work around me getting home at seven at the earliest since the bus is often a two hour commute each way.
I just am really freaked out. I feel like I am stuck and completely screwed. I can't even get to the grocery store. Plus, Mom has been helping me but her BP is really high because she can't afford her cholesterol medications. I'm thinking of trying to help her get on medicade or something.
On top of all that, I'm just feeling really frustrated with the rest of my life. I feel like nothing is going right. I do really enjoy my job, but what good is it if I can't afford to support myself. I just started dating someone I liked who lives in Ft. Collins, and of course my car is broken, so its not like I could see him that often, and I feel like he has lost interest. I just don't understand why men seem to completely loose interest in me after one or two dates. Always. Plus, I can't move forward with schools because I can't afford to take the test even, let alone apply for schools.
I really am trying to stay positive, and I generally am doing pretty well, but I feel like I just crashed tonight. And I really just needed to lay this all out. I could use a little feedback maybe, or just some supportive words. I am feeling really lost.
On a more positive note, I do feel like I have been dealing with the stress of all of this well. I have been aware of when the stress drives me to want to eat, and for the most part have not been drinking (although I did go buy a $4 bottle of wine at Costco this evening). I have been trying to work out one or two times a day, especially when I feel antsy. And I don't feel so depressed that I want to hurt myself. So these are good things. I just need a little support at this point.
So I'm having car problems. Like, my car randomly stalls when I am driving. It has been to two mechanics in a month. And every time I get it back because they think it is "fixed" it stalls within a day. The mechanic who has been working on it is a VW mechanic and seems quite compitent and at this point he has no idea what it is. They have changed several hoses on the fuel line, the fuel filter, fuel pump and the engine computer. I got it back Wednesday after the engine computer and it almost stalled on the way home from work. I have spent nearly all the money I have. I do have about five hundred left in my savings. I have maxed out my credit card. And I just don't know what to do anymore. I have been busing to work. But I can't afford a bus pass on a monthly basis because they are $130 a month. Especially since my rent in currently half of my pay each month. My lease is up in January and I am hoping to find some place with better rent, but chances are small that the decrease will be significant unless I can find a roommate.
Additionally, I am frequently at work until after 7 by myself and the area is not so safe for me hanging out at the bus stop. It scares me and makes me nervous. I certainly could look into a second job but it would have to be in walking distance and work around me getting home at seven at the earliest since the bus is often a two hour commute each way.
I just am really freaked out. I feel like I am stuck and completely screwed. I can't even get to the grocery store. Plus, Mom has been helping me but her BP is really high because she can't afford her cholesterol medications. I'm thinking of trying to help her get on medicade or something.
On top of all that, I'm just feeling really frustrated with the rest of my life. I feel like nothing is going right. I do really enjoy my job, but what good is it if I can't afford to support myself. I just started dating someone I liked who lives in Ft. Collins, and of course my car is broken, so its not like I could see him that often, and I feel like he has lost interest. I just don't understand why men seem to completely loose interest in me after one or two dates. Always. Plus, I can't move forward with schools because I can't afford to take the test even, let alone apply for schools.
I really am trying to stay positive, and I generally am doing pretty well, but I feel like I just crashed tonight. And I really just needed to lay this all out. I could use a little feedback maybe, or just some supportive words. I am feeling really lost.
On a more positive note, I do feel like I have been dealing with the stress of all of this well. I have been aware of when the stress drives me to want to eat, and for the most part have not been drinking (although I did go buy a $4 bottle of wine at Costco this evening). I have been trying to work out one or two times a day, especially when I feel antsy. And I don't feel so depressed that I want to hurt myself. So these are good things. I just need a little support at this point.