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January 19, 2020
It's been awhile since I have posted here. The past few days I have had a lot of anxiety, and just a general feeling of being sad. I think part of it has to do with the whole "3" situation, but part of it is just because I feel empty sometimes. Who knows. Anyway, I don't want to post this new thought I have on FB yet, so I am going to share my ( Read more... ) -
November 24, 2019
It's been a long weekend. Kara's brother and his family were here to celebrate Thanksgiving. They got in on Thursday night and just left today (Sunday). We had a nice visit and I think it was really good for Kara to have time with her family. She started her anxiety medication on Thursday, and so far it seems to be helping her a bit. It's been a ( Read more... ) -
November 18, 2019
Today still feels really hard. Wonder if it will get less so over time? Just when I think I have turned a corner, something else seems to pop up that takes me back. Yesterday it was Patrick's text saying that our meals would do more harm than good. So, today I watch as everyone shares what they prepared, and just hold it together inside and ( Read more... ) -
November 17, 2019: Part 2
I'm feeling a lot of anxiety today. Not sure exactly what the cause is right now. Kara went and met with Tie, and after an initial heartbreaking start, it seems they were able to make it to the end with a promise to both do better. A hug and they were on their way. I have no idea if that will help at all, but I am hopeful that it will at least ( Read more... ) -
November 17, 2019
It's gloomy outside today. The cool temperatures, the falling leaves that are losing their color, the drizzling rain, and gray skies capture how I am feeling inside. Muted. Falling. Dark.
Kara is at Java Crew right now, meeting with Tie. This has been a long time coming. Kara has been so sick about everything happening at WOU. Wondering if ( Read more... ) -
November 14, 2019
Yesterday was our meetiversary. Kara and I met 16 years ago, November 13, 2004. Yesterday we had the chance to spend time together, cuddle up, pick up dinner, and watch some episodes of This is Us. In the midst of all those good moments, hard ones came with Katie ( Read more... ) -
Day 1: Courage to Move
Well, the world didn't end today. I didn't turn into a pile of ashes and lightening didn't strike me. I literally just knocked on wood and spit over my shoulder three times. I have to admit, seeing so many posts about Katie's mom is hard to ignore. That pattern inside of me is fighting to be followed, but I know that I can't get better if I keep ( Read more... ) -
Email I sent to Katie
Just coming out of my therapy appointment. So many thoughts and emotions and intuitive feelings running through me. Trying to breathe and find center in the midst of chaotic thoughts and tendencies. Your words last week gave me a lot to really meditate on and grapple with. It was a frame I needed to see. It was the missing frame for me. It ( Read more... ) -
November 10, 2019
Life is hard. Emotions are hard. Love is hard. Relationships are hard. Forgiveness is hard. Grace is hard. Everything feels so damn hard ( Read more... ) -
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Dear Sweet Baby ( Read more... )