Hi... just don't know how to write about everything that happened to me in a year... there's just so much to say, but right now... I just want to write because I'm hurting inside and I don't really know why... my life hasn't been so bad lately... decided what I wanted to do in life, which is being an artisan... I wanted to do glassblowing, but ( Read more... )

Hi, I'm just writing because I'm hurting, or I wouldn't be here.... You remember this guy I mentioned at the beginning of this journal? You know, the one who still loved me and still tried to have me while I was with someone else? Well, the roles are reversed now and I curse myself for having hurt him that much... God, it hurts so bad... I ( Read more... )

Well, it's my birthday today, turned 22... I'm feeling a bit better than the last time I posted.... It's weird, when I asked Him if he felt the same way about me as before and that he said yes.... I felt a small pang of hurt but nothing more.... I am healing.... Yes, I still feel a bit numb but much less than before, it's like I replugged all of ( Read more... )

I feel like I don't feel anymore... That all I do is reflect others's feelings like a mirror... When I'm alone, all I feel is emptiness, like I've cut myself along the way from all of my feelings... And I'm afraid, afraid that if I let myself feel, I'll burn from the inside out from all the pressure, all the intensity of my repressed feelings... I ( Read more... )

I bear sad news... My boyfriend is now my ex-boyfriend... I didn't see it happen, really... He just came to me last Friday morning and dropped the bomb... He can't stand me being so near him constantly... He thought he could manage but he couldn't and now, our bedroom is separated in two and I'm all alone on my side without even a goddamned bed and ( Read more... )

I had such a great time Saturday night. You see, I purchased four tickets for two of my friends and two for my boyfriend and I (paid by one of my friends). The show was awesome. I knew all the songs, though not by heart. Sonata Arctica rocks!! \m/ This is highly worthy of being thrown the horns...

I am sick and tired of this damn 6-letter word: cancer. Could I have, just once, a year without that word plaguing my family? Not fucking likely... I thought I had enough... My grandmother died of lung cancer 10 years ago (it will be 10 years January 31st), one of my great-aunts died of pancreas cancer 6 years ago, my grandfather just did little ( Read more... )

Well, it's done, she's dead now. And the funny thing is I was all sad in her presence but now I don't feel a thing. It will probably come out when I'm with my family... It's just weird...

Well, how can I start this most joyous post? Might as well go from the beginning of the reason of this post. You see, one of my friends has familial problems, mainly with her parents. It's all a big judiciary and emotional mess. To top it all, she has problems with her friends who already have problems of their own, which hurts her, as she can do ( Read more... )

I just came back home from a weekend full of emotions. First, you have to know that, in the past few months, our time together has been increasingly diminished. Now, all we have are the weekends, and even that.... not so sure. He had to work because of a deadline at work. He was all mopey and tired and uncooperative in general. It had been a while ( Read more... )