Fic: Grandparents (1/2)
Title: Grandparents (1/2)
Author: starrdust411
Fandom: Heroes
Pairing: Mohinder/Gabriel
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The hardest thing about being a parent is dealing with the grandparents. (Word Count: 4,330)
Disclaimer: I do not own Heroes.
Warnings: Drama, Slash, Mpreg, AU
Grandpa Chandra
It was supposed to be a peaceful day. The hospital wing was calm and quiet with only the occasional mechanical beep and the soft sound of the rubber soles of shoes sliding across polished linoleum breaking the still atmosphere. Yet the sudden introduction of one particular question into the room changed everything, shifting the tranquil environment into one of painful tension.
Gabriel sat just behind him on the bed, his entire body completely obscured from Mohinder's field of view, but the hand resting tenderly on his shoulder was a clear reminder of his presence. His mother stood just a few paces from the door, her hands clapped in front of her as she stared on with a weary, disapproving look at the scene she had witnessed far too many times.
"I can't believe you're asking me this," Mohinder seethed. He had been completely worn-out just a few seconds ago, his whole body sore and completely drained of energy, but the anger that was now coursing through his vines gave him the strength to sit up straight in order to give his father the full force of his glare. He was livid, radiating anger as his fingers gripped the bed sheets still draped over his lower half. "Today of all days, after everything that's happened!"
His father's expression wasn't at all taken aback or stunned as Mohinder would have expected (as he had wanted it to be), instead he looked as if a small part of him had expected this exact reaction, but was aggravated by it nonetheless. "Judging from your reaction, you'd be offended no matter when I had asked," he commented.
"Of course I would!" Mohinder snapped, pounding the mattress to emphasize his point. "How could I not be? You want to use my baby, your granddaughter, as a guinea pig!"
"I never said that! I merely want to run a few minor tests, collect some data-"
"Data? Data!" He honestly could not believe what he was hearing, yet he should have anticipated as much. It was so like his father to turn everything into an opportunity for research. "The only 'data' you should be concerned about is that the baby is healthy! Eight pounds, four ounces, nineteen inches! There's your bloody data!"
"Mohinder, calm down," Gabriel whispered, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You've been through a lot today; you shouldn't let yourself get this worked up over nothing."
Gabriel's reasonable words and calm tone was drowned out by the deafening churning of his heart beating in his ears.
"I don't know what you want me to say," his father went on, seeming to ignore Gabriel as well. Despite his calm words and even tone, there was a clear note of barely concealed anger that Mohinder picked up with ease. "I am a man of science; it’s only natural that in a situation like this I would want to find out as much as I can."
"What more is there to find out?" Mohinder sighed. He had just gone through major surgery, he was still dizzy and sore, but he was not about to let any of those things keep him from getting his point across. "She's a healthy baby and you should be happy! Why can't you simply let yourself be a grandfather? You've already missed the opportunity to be a father."
The two beats of silence that passed between them seemed to stretch on for years. His mother's eyes widened, Gabriel stiffened, and his father... His father looked as if he had unknowingly bitten into a lemon. His eyes widened, his face flushed, and his mouth pressed into an impossibly thin line.
"Mohinder," his mother began in a chiding tone, but whatever words of reason she had planned were quickly cut off.
"How dare you say something like that to me?" his father huffed indignantly. "I was a good father to you!"
"When it was convenient for you," Mohinder said pointedly. "When it didn't interfere with your research."
His father gave out a long weary sigh. "So like your generation to exaggerate everything! You make it seem as if I never paid any attention to you at all."
"You didn't! You were never there for me, not even now. My God, the past nine months you've shown more interest in me than you have in all the years of my life and I know, I know for a fact that it has everything to do with the fact that you could write a gripping case studying about me, about my condition. Fine! If that's what it takes for me to hold your interest, that's just fine, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let you humiliate and exploit my child like this!"
"It's so easy for you to play the victim, isn't it Mohinder? Just sit there convinced that I'm such a monster, well-"
"No! Stop!" Gabriel interrupted. He got to his feet so suddenly that Mohinder barely had time to register the fact that Gabriel was standing in front of him instead of sitting behind him. Mohinder watched, mildly stunned as Gabriel positioned himself between the two men and stood at his full height. Gabriel was quite an intimidating figure when he wanted to be and Mohinder could tell from the way his father stiffened slightly that the older Suresh thought so too. "This has all gone far enough. Chandra, I think it's time for you to leave."
His father blinked in slow shock as if he were processing what had just been said and trying to figure out whether or not Gabriel was joking. "You're kicking me out?" he asked, flabbergasted by the situation. "You can't be serious."
"I am," Gabriel said firmly. "You're both being incredibly ridiculous, but... but you're stressing Mohinder out and I want you to leave right now."
Mohinder wanted to say something, to make it quite clear that he didn't need Gabriel to fight his battles for him, but he was too angry and embarrassed to say anything else. He merely sat there and watched his father's face twist into a deep frown. The man looked ready to say something quite cutting to Gabriel, but the words never made it past his lips.
"We should leave Chandra," his mother said, placing a calm hand on her husband's chest. "Please, before you say something you cannot take back."
His father bristled defensively as his eyes darted between the room's other three occupants. He looked like a wild animal backed into a corner trying to figure if it would be best to escape with some of his dignity still intact or fight and allow himself to be ripped to shreds. "You all think I'm so horrible, don't you?" he asked bitterly. "That I don't have any feelings at all? Fine! If you believe that I am such a terrible person, that's just fine. I don't need to be somewhere that I'm clearly not wanted."
He stormed out of the room then, disappearing into the white calm of the hallway.
Mohinder felt his face flush with a mixture of anger and regret as his mother moved towards him. He lowered his eyes, unable to meet her gaze as she bent down to press a quick kiss to his hair. "Don't judge your father so harshly, Mohinder," she told him. The feel of her kind, gentle hands on his shoulder was like ice on a heated stove. It was meant to sooth, but it did nothing to calm his fiery mood. "He has a hard time expressing his feelings. Give him time."
"I've given him my whole life and he's given me nothing," was his bitter reply and the second the words left his lips he felt childish.
His mother gave a weary sigh in response before laughing and resting her forehead against him. "You are your father's son," she whispered. She gave his shoulder a loving pat before turning to leave the room.
Tears began to fill his eyes then. He didn't know why he was crying, because he honestly didn't want to, but they welled up anyway and slowly slipped down his cheeks despite his best efforts. The mattress dipped slightly beside him, alerting Mohinder to Gabriel's presence. "I don't want him to see the baby," Mohinder said, his words automatic and unprompted. "I don't want him to see her. Not now, not ever."
"You don't mean that," Gabriel whispered, his pale fingers brushing away the tears streaming down Mohinder's cheeks. "You're just upset. You... you don't mean it."
"Don't tell me how to feel!" Mohinder sobbed. He didn't put up a fight when Gabriel grabbed him and pulled him into a soothing hug.
-+-+-+-
When he opened his eyes the next morning, Mohinder instantly marveled at how incredibly sore he felt. His entire lower half felt as if someone had spent an entire day tenderizing him like a slab of meat. Although, considering what he had just gone through, the analogy didn't seem too far off. After all, just a few hours ago he had under gone under the knife and had a human being carved out of his body.
Mohinder blinked his lids, slow and lazy as his eyes began to adjust to the surprisingly bright room. He must have been deep asleep to have slept so easily in such harsh lighting.
His ears perked up at the sound of a soft coo over on his left side. The Indian's gaze shifted over to see Gabriel sitting in the hospital chair beside his bed cradling a small bundle in his arms. His lips twitched into a smile at the sight. Gabriel looked both enthralled and nervous at the same time; as if he were worried he would somehow manage to drop the baby even though he was currently sitting. (Not that the way he was visibly jittering made Mohinder feel any more at ease about the sight.)
"Did a nurse come by and drop her off?" Mohinder asked sleepily.
Despite the weak, raspy tone of his voice his words were enough to catch Gabriel's attention. There were puffy bags under his brown eyes, a clear sign that he had not managed to get much sleep. Not that Mohinder was surprised considering that Gabriel had spent the night curled up uncomfortably in the same too small hospital chair that he was currently sitting in.
Mohinder felt terrible for the sore muscles he would no doubt be nursing, but he was glad to have Gabriel there with him. Mohinder didn't usually mind hospitals, however, when he was a patient in one everything felt different, especially at night. There was something quite unnerving about being in a hospital at night, he always felt so exposed and vulnerable as if he were sleeping in a hotel room with all the door and windows wide open. Mohinder had a feeling he would not have been able to sleep so easily if Gabriel hadn't been sitting by his bedside.
"Yeah," Gabriel whispered, an eager smile spreading across his pale features as his eyes briefly flicked from Mohinder to the baby. "The nurse said she'll come back around later to check on you."
Mohinder hummed, focusing his strength on adjusting himself into a sitting position. He winced as the folds of his stomach panged sharply. He looked down at himself and frowned in disappointment. His stomach was no longer as hard and bulging as it had been before the operation, but it was still noticeably larger than it once was.
"Do you think I'll ever be able to get back down to my normal size?" Mohinder sighed wearily. He had asked that question several times throughout his pregnancy and by now he had Gabriel's response memorized.
"In time, with a lot of patience," Gabriel offered carefully, before shifting closer, a warm (but tired) smile lighting his face. "But I love you just the way you are. Baby weight or no baby weight."
Mohinder smiled as he gingerly touched his stomach with a weak hand. The idea of staying this size made him want to cry (leftover hormones he supposed) despite how foolish that might seem. Yet he was glad to know that Gabriel would be more than understanding if he didn't drop all the weight right away. "So much to lose," he sighed. "I don't want to be this way forever... but that'll have to be on the back burner for now."
Gabriel's smile widened, his eyes instantly drifting down to the baby resting in his arms. Their little miracle baby.
"Can I hold her?" Mohinder asked, his arms instinctively reaching out for the infant. He felt a bit foolish asking for permission to hold his own baby, but at the same time it was still difficult for him to wrap his mind around the idea that she was his.
Gabriel blinked, a hesitant, worried look in his eyes. "Do you feel up to it?" he asked, nothing but genuine concern lighting his eyes. "I mean... well, you just woke up. Are you sure you're not too tired?"
"I'm fine, Gabriel," he assured him. "I'll just be sitting here, nothing strenuous."
He watched as Gabriel's cheeks flushed briefly with embarrassment, but Mohinder noticed that the concern did not disappear from his wide eyes. "Oh... okay," he stammered reluctantly. Standing up slowly to hand the baby over, Mohinder couldn't help but notice with a worried eye that Gabriel's arms were trembling a bit, the sight making the Indian himself go stiff as the child was gently laid in his own arms. "Just... just tell me if you need me to take her back."
Mohinder gave out a soft laugh as his gaze drifted towards the newborn that he was cradling against him. Despite being a healthy height and size the baby still looked remarkably small to his tired eyes, but the sight of her -- pink skin and soft black hair clinging to her round head -- warmed him inside and out. He smiled, reaching out to touch her little hands with the tips of his fingers. A tight fist uncurled in response, reaching out blindly to wrap itself around his thicker digit.
"Are you sure the nurse gave us the right baby?" Mohinder asked jokingly. "She looks so different than she did yesterday."
Gabriel nodded as he sat back down in his hospital chair. He shifted so that he was able to get a better look at the newborn in Mohinder's arms. "She does," he agreed. "She's a lot less red. More pink now."
"Better than being yellow," Mohinder commented. During the last few weeks of his pregnancy he had suddenly developed an irrational fear that his baby would be born with jaundice. He still shuddered at the thought.
"I guess they don't do the whole 'pink cap, blue cap' thing anymore, huh?" Gabriel commented as he wrapped a pale hand gently around the baby's head.
Mohinder knew that he was just trying to change the subject, but he allowed it. It was best not to dwell on such dark thoughts, especially when they were no longer a concern.
He hummed thoughtfully in at Gabriel's observation. He had found the little cap with its blend of soft blue and soft pink stripes a bit puzzling when he'd first laid eyes on it, but that didn't matter. What mattered was the fact that they had the most beautiful baby girl in the entire world.
"Any ideas for a name?" Gabriel asked, his voice settling into a hushed whisper.
"Yes," Mohinder answered automatically. "Manisha. I want to call her Manisha."
"Manisha?" Gabriel repeated. Mohinder didn't have to look at the other man to know that he was smiling at the sound of the name. "That's pretty."
The two smiled, staring contentedly down at the newborn baby, utterly lost to the world around them. It was only when the sound of someone knocking awkwardly on the opened doorframe that they managed to tear their eyes away from her. Mohinder turned and looked towards the door, expecting to see a doctor or a nurse standing there. Instead he found his eyes locking briefly with his father's.
His face burned hot with anger at the memories of yesterday's confrontation. Mohinder had had enough time to think about what had happened between them the previous day and he knew now that he had said quite a few things that he shouldn't have, but he was still upset that his father had asked him such a question. The mere memory of it was enough to make him livid all over again. The very idea of his daughter being poked and prodded like some sort of lab rat made his blood boil. He wished that the man had shown up just a few minutes ago so that he could just pretend to be asleep and avoid talking to him altogether, but that was not an option now.
Mohinder's eyes drifted downward towards the baby that was now sleeping peacefully in his arms, choosing to look at her instead of his father.
Gabriel must have sensed the tension filling the small hospital room or noticed the way Mohinder's face was twisting in indignation. He felt Gabriel's large hand settling protectively on his shoulder before giving him a reassuring squeeze. "Chandra," he greeted tersely.
"Gabriel," he returned. Still pointedly gazing down at his baby, Mohinder heard rather than saw the awkward way his father shifted from one foot to the other before clearing his throat. "I... I want to speak with Mohinder alone."
"I don't think that would be such a good idea," Gabriel said, his words cold and firm as his grip on Mohinder's shoulder tightened.
"It's alright, Gabriel," Mohinder sighed. He knew that it would be childish to allow Gabriel continue to fight for him as he sat back and watched. "Just... can you give us a moment?"
Gabriel worry crept onto his expression as he studied Mohinder's face carefully. "Alright," he relented. "Do you want me to take the baby?"
Mohinder shook his head as his grip instinctively tightening on Manisha. "No, I'll hold onto her."
He watched as Gabriel's frown deepened, but he knew right away that Gabriel wouldn't argue. "Alright then." Gabriel stood, leaning forward to press a quick kiss to Mohinder's hair. "Don't fight in front of the baby," he whispered before reluctantly walking into the hallway.
The door clicked close behind Gabriel and the room quickly settled into a painfully awkward silence. Mohinder shifted, adjusting the sleeping newborn carefully as his father stepped further into the hospital room. Even as his father moved to stand at the foot of the bed, Mohinder still refused to acknowledge meet his gaze.
"Mohinder," his father began. "I think that we should talk."
"Did mother send you here?" he asked bitterly.
He could almost hear his father's displeased frown at that question. Even with his eyes turned away, Mohinder could practically see the way his lips pressed into a thin line and his brow furrowed in displeasure. "No," he grumbled. "No, I came on my own."
"You came to apologize?"
"I came to explain."
Mohinder couldn't say that he was at all surprised by that comment, but it irritated him none the less. He had absolutely no interest in hearing his father's "explanation," he wanted an apology. He hugged Manisha against himself as his father approached the hospital chair Gabriel had just been sitting in.
His father pulled the plastic seat a few inches away from Mohinder's bed, before slow settling into it. "When I asked to study the baby yesterday, I had no intention of upsetting you," his father explained carefully. "When I called and asked you all of those questions about your condition... it wasn't for a book." Mohinder's ears perked up at that statement, but he struggled not to show anything except indifference. "Research has always been the only thing that we've had in common, the only way for us to communicate with each other."
Mohinder nodded his head slowly as understanding slowly settled upon him. He suddenly felt painfully foolish for the way he had acted yesterday, to have over looked something that should have been so obvious to him. Yesterday he had been so quick to hostility towards his father, so willing to accuse the man of not knowing a thing about him. Now Mohinder realized that he didn't know very much about him either.
At the same time, looking down at the infant resting peacefully in his arms, he felt absolutely horrible at the knowledge that the only sort of relationship he had with his own father was one of a shared scientific curiosity and professionalism. That was no way for a parent and child to relate to each other.
"I was afraid," Mohinder confessed. His eyes blurred slightly as tears slowly began to cloud his vision. "I didn't understand what was happening to me and I thought... I thought that you could help me to understand, but all you did was ask me questions. Questions that I couldn't answer."
"Mohinder, I'm a scientist," his father began, trying desperately to make Mohinder see things his way. "I only wanted-"
"I didn't want a 'scientist.' I wanted my father."
Mohinder had meant to only think the words, but they had slipped out of him as easily as the tears now leaking from his eyes. He was quiet for a moment, half expecting his father to storm out of the room for a second time. Instead he listened to his father's chair squeak as the older Suresh shifted closer to him. His father's hand lifted, hovering just a few inches in the air hesitantly, before slowly settling down to rest on Mohinder's arm. He smiled as the man gave his shoulder a stiff pat. It was a good start.
"Have... have you decided on a name for her?" he asked conversationally, his eyes flickering between Mohinder and the baby.
"I have."
His father stared at him then, a mixture of curiosity and hope flashing in his eyes. "Shanti?" he asked.
Mohinder frowned quizzically at the name. It was one that he had never heard before, but the hint of desperation and tenderness in his father's voice as he spoke that one word almost made Mohinder reconsider the name that he had already chosen for his daughter. "Actually," he began, adjusting the infant in his arms, "we were going to name her Manisha."
He gave a slow, disappointed nod as the new name settled on him. "Manisha," he repeated thoughtfully. There was a slight pause before he asked, "May I hold her?"
Mohinder faltered a moment at the question. He hadn't expected his father to ask such a thing. When relatives would bring new babies around, his father would rarely go near them, let alone ask to touch them. Babies seemed to make him quite uncomfortable and caused a sad, distant look to settle on his eyes. This was different, Mohinder reasoned. After all, Manisha was his first grandchild.
"I suppose so," Mohinder said finally. His father stood slightly, self-consciously holding out his arms to receive the baby. "Careful with her," Mohinder breathed, his words coming out a bit more tense and panicked than he had meant for them to as he slowly laid the infant into his father's waiting arms. "Mind her head."
"Yes, yes, I know," he grumbled dismissively. "I've held babies before."
Not in many years, Mohinder thought, but he kept the words to himself. He merely watched in tense silence as Manisha let out a slight gurgle as his father sat back down in his seat. Mohinder tried not to fret too much over his father's obvious awkwardness with the infant -- after all, he was no expert himself when it came to babies -- but already it seemed that watching someone else aside from himself and Gabriel hold Manisha was a bit nerve wracking for him.
"Such a sweet little face," his father said, cooed actually. That certainly wasn't a word he was accustomed to using when describing his father's way of speaking. "Such a shame she'll be so alone. No little cousins to grow up with, that is."
"Well, she may have a brother or sister in the future." Mohinder felt his face turn red at the statement. It was something that he hadn't really spoken about in great detail with Gabriel and blurting the words out like that made him feel quite careless.
Of course, the curious gaze his father was giving him certainly didn't help. "You mean to have more children then?"
"One or two more, I suppose," Mohinder said sheepishly. "And not for a few more years, of course."
"Of course." His father turned his attention back to the newborn and offered her a loving smile. "Daughters... babies are such precious things," he whispered. "They grow up so quickly and then all you're left with are... memories."
Mohinder frowned at the sad gleam in his father's eyes, the way his eyes were shining with unshed tears. It occurred to him then that he had never seen his father cry and the idea of seeing him breakdown now was a bit unsettling for him.
"You and mother are always more than welcomed to come see us whenever you want," Mohinder assured him. He hesitated and then reached over to place a comforting hand on his father's arm. "And Gabriel and I will bring Manisha to see you as much as possible. There's still plenty of time left for us."
His father turned to him and smiled, a bright warm smile with unshed tears shining in his eyes. "I'm very proud of you Mohinder," he told him sincerely.
His heart swelled and his throat tightened painfully at his father's words, the only time that he had spoken them to him before. "Thank you," he whispered, tears glistening in his own eyes. "Thank you."
"You and Gabriel have a beautiful daughter and you should take good care of her."
"I will. We will."
Part 2
Author: starrdust411
Fandom: Heroes
Pairing: Mohinder/Gabriel
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The hardest thing about being a parent is dealing with the grandparents. (Word Count: 4,330)
Disclaimer: I do not own Heroes.
Warnings: Drama, Slash, Mpreg, AU
Grandpa Chandra
It was supposed to be a peaceful day. The hospital wing was calm and quiet with only the occasional mechanical beep and the soft sound of the rubber soles of shoes sliding across polished linoleum breaking the still atmosphere. Yet the sudden introduction of one particular question into the room changed everything, shifting the tranquil environment into one of painful tension.
Gabriel sat just behind him on the bed, his entire body completely obscured from Mohinder's field of view, but the hand resting tenderly on his shoulder was a clear reminder of his presence. His mother stood just a few paces from the door, her hands clapped in front of her as she stared on with a weary, disapproving look at the scene she had witnessed far too many times.
"I can't believe you're asking me this," Mohinder seethed. He had been completely worn-out just a few seconds ago, his whole body sore and completely drained of energy, but the anger that was now coursing through his vines gave him the strength to sit up straight in order to give his father the full force of his glare. He was livid, radiating anger as his fingers gripped the bed sheets still draped over his lower half. "Today of all days, after everything that's happened!"
His father's expression wasn't at all taken aback or stunned as Mohinder would have expected (as he had wanted it to be), instead he looked as if a small part of him had expected this exact reaction, but was aggravated by it nonetheless. "Judging from your reaction, you'd be offended no matter when I had asked," he commented.
"Of course I would!" Mohinder snapped, pounding the mattress to emphasize his point. "How could I not be? You want to use my baby, your granddaughter, as a guinea pig!"
"I never said that! I merely want to run a few minor tests, collect some data-"
"Data? Data!" He honestly could not believe what he was hearing, yet he should have anticipated as much. It was so like his father to turn everything into an opportunity for research. "The only 'data' you should be concerned about is that the baby is healthy! Eight pounds, four ounces, nineteen inches! There's your bloody data!"
"Mohinder, calm down," Gabriel whispered, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You've been through a lot today; you shouldn't let yourself get this worked up over nothing."
Gabriel's reasonable words and calm tone was drowned out by the deafening churning of his heart beating in his ears.
"I don't know what you want me to say," his father went on, seeming to ignore Gabriel as well. Despite his calm words and even tone, there was a clear note of barely concealed anger that Mohinder picked up with ease. "I am a man of science; it’s only natural that in a situation like this I would want to find out as much as I can."
"What more is there to find out?" Mohinder sighed. He had just gone through major surgery, he was still dizzy and sore, but he was not about to let any of those things keep him from getting his point across. "She's a healthy baby and you should be happy! Why can't you simply let yourself be a grandfather? You've already missed the opportunity to be a father."
The two beats of silence that passed between them seemed to stretch on for years. His mother's eyes widened, Gabriel stiffened, and his father... His father looked as if he had unknowingly bitten into a lemon. His eyes widened, his face flushed, and his mouth pressed into an impossibly thin line.
"Mohinder," his mother began in a chiding tone, but whatever words of reason she had planned were quickly cut off.
"How dare you say something like that to me?" his father huffed indignantly. "I was a good father to you!"
"When it was convenient for you," Mohinder said pointedly. "When it didn't interfere with your research."
His father gave out a long weary sigh. "So like your generation to exaggerate everything! You make it seem as if I never paid any attention to you at all."
"You didn't! You were never there for me, not even now. My God, the past nine months you've shown more interest in me than you have in all the years of my life and I know, I know for a fact that it has everything to do with the fact that you could write a gripping case studying about me, about my condition. Fine! If that's what it takes for me to hold your interest, that's just fine, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let you humiliate and exploit my child like this!"
"It's so easy for you to play the victim, isn't it Mohinder? Just sit there convinced that I'm such a monster, well-"
"No! Stop!" Gabriel interrupted. He got to his feet so suddenly that Mohinder barely had time to register the fact that Gabriel was standing in front of him instead of sitting behind him. Mohinder watched, mildly stunned as Gabriel positioned himself between the two men and stood at his full height. Gabriel was quite an intimidating figure when he wanted to be and Mohinder could tell from the way his father stiffened slightly that the older Suresh thought so too. "This has all gone far enough. Chandra, I think it's time for you to leave."
His father blinked in slow shock as if he were processing what had just been said and trying to figure out whether or not Gabriel was joking. "You're kicking me out?" he asked, flabbergasted by the situation. "You can't be serious."
"I am," Gabriel said firmly. "You're both being incredibly ridiculous, but... but you're stressing Mohinder out and I want you to leave right now."
Mohinder wanted to say something, to make it quite clear that he didn't need Gabriel to fight his battles for him, but he was too angry and embarrassed to say anything else. He merely sat there and watched his father's face twist into a deep frown. The man looked ready to say something quite cutting to Gabriel, but the words never made it past his lips.
"We should leave Chandra," his mother said, placing a calm hand on her husband's chest. "Please, before you say something you cannot take back."
His father bristled defensively as his eyes darted between the room's other three occupants. He looked like a wild animal backed into a corner trying to figure if it would be best to escape with some of his dignity still intact or fight and allow himself to be ripped to shreds. "You all think I'm so horrible, don't you?" he asked bitterly. "That I don't have any feelings at all? Fine! If you believe that I am such a terrible person, that's just fine. I don't need to be somewhere that I'm clearly not wanted."
He stormed out of the room then, disappearing into the white calm of the hallway.
Mohinder felt his face flush with a mixture of anger and regret as his mother moved towards him. He lowered his eyes, unable to meet her gaze as she bent down to press a quick kiss to his hair. "Don't judge your father so harshly, Mohinder," she told him. The feel of her kind, gentle hands on his shoulder was like ice on a heated stove. It was meant to sooth, but it did nothing to calm his fiery mood. "He has a hard time expressing his feelings. Give him time."
"I've given him my whole life and he's given me nothing," was his bitter reply and the second the words left his lips he felt childish.
His mother gave a weary sigh in response before laughing and resting her forehead against him. "You are your father's son," she whispered. She gave his shoulder a loving pat before turning to leave the room.
Tears began to fill his eyes then. He didn't know why he was crying, because he honestly didn't want to, but they welled up anyway and slowly slipped down his cheeks despite his best efforts. The mattress dipped slightly beside him, alerting Mohinder to Gabriel's presence. "I don't want him to see the baby," Mohinder said, his words automatic and unprompted. "I don't want him to see her. Not now, not ever."
"You don't mean that," Gabriel whispered, his pale fingers brushing away the tears streaming down Mohinder's cheeks. "You're just upset. You... you don't mean it."
"Don't tell me how to feel!" Mohinder sobbed. He didn't put up a fight when Gabriel grabbed him and pulled him into a soothing hug.
-+-+-+-
When he opened his eyes the next morning, Mohinder instantly marveled at how incredibly sore he felt. His entire lower half felt as if someone had spent an entire day tenderizing him like a slab of meat. Although, considering what he had just gone through, the analogy didn't seem too far off. After all, just a few hours ago he had under gone under the knife and had a human being carved out of his body.
Mohinder blinked his lids, slow and lazy as his eyes began to adjust to the surprisingly bright room. He must have been deep asleep to have slept so easily in such harsh lighting.
His ears perked up at the sound of a soft coo over on his left side. The Indian's gaze shifted over to see Gabriel sitting in the hospital chair beside his bed cradling a small bundle in his arms. His lips twitched into a smile at the sight. Gabriel looked both enthralled and nervous at the same time; as if he were worried he would somehow manage to drop the baby even though he was currently sitting. (Not that the way he was visibly jittering made Mohinder feel any more at ease about the sight.)
"Did a nurse come by and drop her off?" Mohinder asked sleepily.
Despite the weak, raspy tone of his voice his words were enough to catch Gabriel's attention. There were puffy bags under his brown eyes, a clear sign that he had not managed to get much sleep. Not that Mohinder was surprised considering that Gabriel had spent the night curled up uncomfortably in the same too small hospital chair that he was currently sitting in.
Mohinder felt terrible for the sore muscles he would no doubt be nursing, but he was glad to have Gabriel there with him. Mohinder didn't usually mind hospitals, however, when he was a patient in one everything felt different, especially at night. There was something quite unnerving about being in a hospital at night, he always felt so exposed and vulnerable as if he were sleeping in a hotel room with all the door and windows wide open. Mohinder had a feeling he would not have been able to sleep so easily if Gabriel hadn't been sitting by his bedside.
"Yeah," Gabriel whispered, an eager smile spreading across his pale features as his eyes briefly flicked from Mohinder to the baby. "The nurse said she'll come back around later to check on you."
Mohinder hummed, focusing his strength on adjusting himself into a sitting position. He winced as the folds of his stomach panged sharply. He looked down at himself and frowned in disappointment. His stomach was no longer as hard and bulging as it had been before the operation, but it was still noticeably larger than it once was.
"Do you think I'll ever be able to get back down to my normal size?" Mohinder sighed wearily. He had asked that question several times throughout his pregnancy and by now he had Gabriel's response memorized.
"In time, with a lot of patience," Gabriel offered carefully, before shifting closer, a warm (but tired) smile lighting his face. "But I love you just the way you are. Baby weight or no baby weight."
Mohinder smiled as he gingerly touched his stomach with a weak hand. The idea of staying this size made him want to cry (leftover hormones he supposed) despite how foolish that might seem. Yet he was glad to know that Gabriel would be more than understanding if he didn't drop all the weight right away. "So much to lose," he sighed. "I don't want to be this way forever... but that'll have to be on the back burner for now."
Gabriel's smile widened, his eyes instantly drifting down to the baby resting in his arms. Their little miracle baby.
"Can I hold her?" Mohinder asked, his arms instinctively reaching out for the infant. He felt a bit foolish asking for permission to hold his own baby, but at the same time it was still difficult for him to wrap his mind around the idea that she was his.
Gabriel blinked, a hesitant, worried look in his eyes. "Do you feel up to it?" he asked, nothing but genuine concern lighting his eyes. "I mean... well, you just woke up. Are you sure you're not too tired?"
"I'm fine, Gabriel," he assured him. "I'll just be sitting here, nothing strenuous."
He watched as Gabriel's cheeks flushed briefly with embarrassment, but Mohinder noticed that the concern did not disappear from his wide eyes. "Oh... okay," he stammered reluctantly. Standing up slowly to hand the baby over, Mohinder couldn't help but notice with a worried eye that Gabriel's arms were trembling a bit, the sight making the Indian himself go stiff as the child was gently laid in his own arms. "Just... just tell me if you need me to take her back."
Mohinder gave out a soft laugh as his gaze drifted towards the newborn that he was cradling against him. Despite being a healthy height and size the baby still looked remarkably small to his tired eyes, but the sight of her -- pink skin and soft black hair clinging to her round head -- warmed him inside and out. He smiled, reaching out to touch her little hands with the tips of his fingers. A tight fist uncurled in response, reaching out blindly to wrap itself around his thicker digit.
"Are you sure the nurse gave us the right baby?" Mohinder asked jokingly. "She looks so different than she did yesterday."
Gabriel nodded as he sat back down in his hospital chair. He shifted so that he was able to get a better look at the newborn in Mohinder's arms. "She does," he agreed. "She's a lot less red. More pink now."
"Better than being yellow," Mohinder commented. During the last few weeks of his pregnancy he had suddenly developed an irrational fear that his baby would be born with jaundice. He still shuddered at the thought.
"I guess they don't do the whole 'pink cap, blue cap' thing anymore, huh?" Gabriel commented as he wrapped a pale hand gently around the baby's head.
Mohinder knew that he was just trying to change the subject, but he allowed it. It was best not to dwell on such dark thoughts, especially when they were no longer a concern.
He hummed thoughtfully in at Gabriel's observation. He had found the little cap with its blend of soft blue and soft pink stripes a bit puzzling when he'd first laid eyes on it, but that didn't matter. What mattered was the fact that they had the most beautiful baby girl in the entire world.
"Any ideas for a name?" Gabriel asked, his voice settling into a hushed whisper.
"Yes," Mohinder answered automatically. "Manisha. I want to call her Manisha."
"Manisha?" Gabriel repeated. Mohinder didn't have to look at the other man to know that he was smiling at the sound of the name. "That's pretty."
The two smiled, staring contentedly down at the newborn baby, utterly lost to the world around them. It was only when the sound of someone knocking awkwardly on the opened doorframe that they managed to tear their eyes away from her. Mohinder turned and looked towards the door, expecting to see a doctor or a nurse standing there. Instead he found his eyes locking briefly with his father's.
His face burned hot with anger at the memories of yesterday's confrontation. Mohinder had had enough time to think about what had happened between them the previous day and he knew now that he had said quite a few things that he shouldn't have, but he was still upset that his father had asked him such a question. The mere memory of it was enough to make him livid all over again. The very idea of his daughter being poked and prodded like some sort of lab rat made his blood boil. He wished that the man had shown up just a few minutes ago so that he could just pretend to be asleep and avoid talking to him altogether, but that was not an option now.
Mohinder's eyes drifted downward towards the baby that was now sleeping peacefully in his arms, choosing to look at her instead of his father.
Gabriel must have sensed the tension filling the small hospital room or noticed the way Mohinder's face was twisting in indignation. He felt Gabriel's large hand settling protectively on his shoulder before giving him a reassuring squeeze. "Chandra," he greeted tersely.
"Gabriel," he returned. Still pointedly gazing down at his baby, Mohinder heard rather than saw the awkward way his father shifted from one foot to the other before clearing his throat. "I... I want to speak with Mohinder alone."
"I don't think that would be such a good idea," Gabriel said, his words cold and firm as his grip on Mohinder's shoulder tightened.
"It's alright, Gabriel," Mohinder sighed. He knew that it would be childish to allow Gabriel continue to fight for him as he sat back and watched. "Just... can you give us a moment?"
Gabriel worry crept onto his expression as he studied Mohinder's face carefully. "Alright," he relented. "Do you want me to take the baby?"
Mohinder shook his head as his grip instinctively tightening on Manisha. "No, I'll hold onto her."
He watched as Gabriel's frown deepened, but he knew right away that Gabriel wouldn't argue. "Alright then." Gabriel stood, leaning forward to press a quick kiss to Mohinder's hair. "Don't fight in front of the baby," he whispered before reluctantly walking into the hallway.
The door clicked close behind Gabriel and the room quickly settled into a painfully awkward silence. Mohinder shifted, adjusting the sleeping newborn carefully as his father stepped further into the hospital room. Even as his father moved to stand at the foot of the bed, Mohinder still refused to acknowledge meet his gaze.
"Mohinder," his father began. "I think that we should talk."
"Did mother send you here?" he asked bitterly.
He could almost hear his father's displeased frown at that question. Even with his eyes turned away, Mohinder could practically see the way his lips pressed into a thin line and his brow furrowed in displeasure. "No," he grumbled. "No, I came on my own."
"You came to apologize?"
"I came to explain."
Mohinder couldn't say that he was at all surprised by that comment, but it irritated him none the less. He had absolutely no interest in hearing his father's "explanation," he wanted an apology. He hugged Manisha against himself as his father approached the hospital chair Gabriel had just been sitting in.
His father pulled the plastic seat a few inches away from Mohinder's bed, before slow settling into it. "When I asked to study the baby yesterday, I had no intention of upsetting you," his father explained carefully. "When I called and asked you all of those questions about your condition... it wasn't for a book." Mohinder's ears perked up at that statement, but he struggled not to show anything except indifference. "Research has always been the only thing that we've had in common, the only way for us to communicate with each other."
Mohinder nodded his head slowly as understanding slowly settled upon him. He suddenly felt painfully foolish for the way he had acted yesterday, to have over looked something that should have been so obvious to him. Yesterday he had been so quick to hostility towards his father, so willing to accuse the man of not knowing a thing about him. Now Mohinder realized that he didn't know very much about him either.
At the same time, looking down at the infant resting peacefully in his arms, he felt absolutely horrible at the knowledge that the only sort of relationship he had with his own father was one of a shared scientific curiosity and professionalism. That was no way for a parent and child to relate to each other.
"I was afraid," Mohinder confessed. His eyes blurred slightly as tears slowly began to cloud his vision. "I didn't understand what was happening to me and I thought... I thought that you could help me to understand, but all you did was ask me questions. Questions that I couldn't answer."
"Mohinder, I'm a scientist," his father began, trying desperately to make Mohinder see things his way. "I only wanted-"
"I didn't want a 'scientist.' I wanted my father."
Mohinder had meant to only think the words, but they had slipped out of him as easily as the tears now leaking from his eyes. He was quiet for a moment, half expecting his father to storm out of the room for a second time. Instead he listened to his father's chair squeak as the older Suresh shifted closer to him. His father's hand lifted, hovering just a few inches in the air hesitantly, before slowly settling down to rest on Mohinder's arm. He smiled as the man gave his shoulder a stiff pat. It was a good start.
"Have... have you decided on a name for her?" he asked conversationally, his eyes flickering between Mohinder and the baby.
"I have."
His father stared at him then, a mixture of curiosity and hope flashing in his eyes. "Shanti?" he asked.
Mohinder frowned quizzically at the name. It was one that he had never heard before, but the hint of desperation and tenderness in his father's voice as he spoke that one word almost made Mohinder reconsider the name that he had already chosen for his daughter. "Actually," he began, adjusting the infant in his arms, "we were going to name her Manisha."
He gave a slow, disappointed nod as the new name settled on him. "Manisha," he repeated thoughtfully. There was a slight pause before he asked, "May I hold her?"
Mohinder faltered a moment at the question. He hadn't expected his father to ask such a thing. When relatives would bring new babies around, his father would rarely go near them, let alone ask to touch them. Babies seemed to make him quite uncomfortable and caused a sad, distant look to settle on his eyes. This was different, Mohinder reasoned. After all, Manisha was his first grandchild.
"I suppose so," Mohinder said finally. His father stood slightly, self-consciously holding out his arms to receive the baby. "Careful with her," Mohinder breathed, his words coming out a bit more tense and panicked than he had meant for them to as he slowly laid the infant into his father's waiting arms. "Mind her head."
"Yes, yes, I know," he grumbled dismissively. "I've held babies before."
Not in many years, Mohinder thought, but he kept the words to himself. He merely watched in tense silence as Manisha let out a slight gurgle as his father sat back down in his seat. Mohinder tried not to fret too much over his father's obvious awkwardness with the infant -- after all, he was no expert himself when it came to babies -- but already it seemed that watching someone else aside from himself and Gabriel hold Manisha was a bit nerve wracking for him.
"Such a sweet little face," his father said, cooed actually. That certainly wasn't a word he was accustomed to using when describing his father's way of speaking. "Such a shame she'll be so alone. No little cousins to grow up with, that is."
"Well, she may have a brother or sister in the future." Mohinder felt his face turn red at the statement. It was something that he hadn't really spoken about in great detail with Gabriel and blurting the words out like that made him feel quite careless.
Of course, the curious gaze his father was giving him certainly didn't help. "You mean to have more children then?"
"One or two more, I suppose," Mohinder said sheepishly. "And not for a few more years, of course."
"Of course." His father turned his attention back to the newborn and offered her a loving smile. "Daughters... babies are such precious things," he whispered. "They grow up so quickly and then all you're left with are... memories."
Mohinder frowned at the sad gleam in his father's eyes, the way his eyes were shining with unshed tears. It occurred to him then that he had never seen his father cry and the idea of seeing him breakdown now was a bit unsettling for him.
"You and mother are always more than welcomed to come see us whenever you want," Mohinder assured him. He hesitated and then reached over to place a comforting hand on his father's arm. "And Gabriel and I will bring Manisha to see you as much as possible. There's still plenty of time left for us."
His father turned to him and smiled, a bright warm smile with unshed tears shining in his eyes. "I'm very proud of you Mohinder," he told him sincerely.
His heart swelled and his throat tightened painfully at his father's words, the only time that he had spoken them to him before. "Thank you," he whispered, tears glistening in his own eyes. "Thank you."
"You and Gabriel have a beautiful daughter and you should take good care of her."
"I will. We will."
Part 2