i ain't no hero

[musesfool]

My niece and nephew came over and we had a nice family game of May I, which possibly was one of the most intense games I've played. We started out this time with four decks of cards instead of the usual two (we always have to add at least one more for the last hand anyway), so you'd think it would have been easier, but no. It's like, you KNOW there

Comments

[withdiamonds]

Feedback is such a loaded subject to talk about publicly. But I'm happy when people do, because then I remember that I'm not the only one who gets weird and freaks out about it. I hate to ask for it and I hate to mention when I don't get any, or a lot, because I feel like I should just suck it up and pretend I'm fine with whatever I get. Writing in SPN has been nice because even though I'm fairly new and there are a million people writing SPN, I've gotten more feedback here than I've been used to. That's because I came from popslash and there's not a lot of us left over there to comment on fic

[musesfool]

Feedback is such a loaded subject to talk about publicly. But I'm happy when people do, because then I remember that I'm not the only one who gets weird and freaks out about it. I hate to ask for it and I hate to mention when I don't get any, or a lot, because I feel like I should just suck it up and pretend I'm fine with whatever I get.

this is exactly why I posted. We're not alone! And I get that it is unattractive to whine about it in public, as if one is entitled to feedback, but it is also a real disappointment when you think you've really been firing on all cylinders and have a great story and nobody notices.

even when it's awesome it's possible to be weird about it. You are not alone, and you're not alone wondering why it's weird to talk about i

Yes. This.

[purple_socrates]

This subject always interests me cos I do not get many comments on my fic. I think a lot of it has to do with building a name for yourself within the fandom you are writing in. I do not have the energy and time to do this. So when I get a few comments its always nice but I stopped, a while ago, expecting the pages that some people get. Those people usually spend a lot of time in fandon commenting on others work and posting a lot of fic. My energies when it comes to writing put fan fic at the low end of my priorities. This is just because I have other projects, not because I do not think fic is a really good form of expression and some of the best things I have read have been fic! I always know at least 2 of friends on LJ will comment.
I also think the HP community is much harsher than any of the other fandoms. Not sure why!
I think it is something that does drive everyone a little crazy! Hey we are all the in the same boat I guess! x

[musesfool]

I think it is something that does drive everyone a little crazy! Hey we are all the in the same boat I guess

exactly.

[penknife]

The thing that drives me kind of crazy about feedback is that amount of feedback has so little connection to how much I loved the story myself. There are things I loved that got, like, three comments; there are stories where I ran around moaning "I hate this story so much I want to print it out, jump up and down on it, and set it on fire, but it is for a ficathon and it's the best I can do and I have to post it" that got a ton of comments.

I try for that Zen place of understanding that I cannot really predict what people will like. It's just, you know, a temporary Zen place.

[musesfool]

Heh. Yes. Something I tossed off in two hours as a joke will get more fb than something I worked really hard on and love a lot, and there's just no real way to tell what's going to happen.

I try for that Zen place of understanding that I cannot really predict what people will like. It's just, you know, a temporary Zen place.

Right there with you.

[dotfic]

Zen place...zen place. Yeah, I think I've heard of it? I maybe drove by it once? *g*

I think what makes it harder is feeling that we *shouldn't* have the freakout. So on top of feeling disappointed people didn't read, there's the whole denial thing, or wondering if it's petty to care that much. But why wouldn't a writer care if people read their work or not? So, maybe it is perfectly natural to freak out. Worrying about feedback is not the same as entitlement -- maybe the fandom taboo about it is because it could easily slip into entitlement, even though, in my experience, the worriers aren't feeling entitled, just disappointed.

On the other hand, worrying about it too much is counterproductive and I'm all for learning how to not think about it.

I should really go stare at the cookie now...

[musesfool]

I think what makes it harder is feeling that we *shouldn't* have the freakout. So on top of feeling disappointed people didn't read, there's the whole denial thing, or wondering if it's petty to care that much

which is mainly why I made the post. The idea that you shouldn't feel that way - and that maybe you're the only person who does - just makes it all worse, I think.

The cookie is well worth staring at. *dreamy sigh*

[deirdre_c]

When I first started writing, I was in that honeymoon period on LJ (and a brief calm in the storm in RL) where I read and commented on every single thing on my flist. And I would get anxious when people I know and love didn't comment. Now that I'm overwhelmed and have .4 seconds a day to devote to fandom, I feel bad about 'expecting' feedback back then, when now I see how SO MANY other considerations beyond the merit of any given story or my affection and enjoyment of the author keep me from commenting.

The flip side is how terribly guilty I feel about not leaving feedback, knowing that authors/friends are sitting there just waiting for that acknowledgment. And how even MORE anxious I am when I think they might see me comment somewhere else (because I happened to stumble across someone else's story during that .4 second window) and think it's an indictment of them. :\

Anyway, I think I'll go take a few nibbles of that cookie, make myself feel better.

[musesfool]

Right! It's crazy from both sides, and this whole thing where we shouldn't talk about it, shouldn't admit we want it or are sad when we don't get it, where there are a million reasons we don't give it that have little or nothing to do with the actual story in question - it's the kind of thing where intellectually we understand, but emotionally it's really fraught.