i ain't no hero

[musesfool]

My niece and nephew came over and we had a nice family game of May I, which possibly was one of the most intense games I've played. We started out this time with four decks of cards instead of the usual two (we always have to add at least one more for the last hand anyway), so you'd think it would have been easier, but no. It's like, you KNOW there

Comments

[lyra_wing]

I really need to be reading contracts right now......

But I just wanted to pop in and say... I've learned how to achieve the zen state. Well, this is just what works for me.

One way is the artificial method. When I'm reading stories, I just stop scrolling before I get to the comments pages. That way, I can independently judge whether I liked it or not. And I don't start comparing my own stuff to this writer or story.

The other way is the more organic take-a-step-back method. I post a story and ignore it for a time, and then I go back and look at the comments when I'm less emotionally attached to the piece. If I get a lot of comments, it's a pleasant surprise, and if I don't, oh well. I tend to care less as more time passes.

The combination of these two methods keeps me relatively sane, all things considered.

Oh, and that's one great cookie. Goddamn. The tattoo gets me more than anything else. Eeee.

[musesfool]

Yeah, I figured that cookie would distract anybody from freaking out. *g*

I'm actually more zen than not these days, but I still have my moments of emo. If I'm happy with a story, it's usually easier in the long run to deal with a more subdued response.

I think it's sometimes hard for people - me included - to ignore the comment counts as we scroll past. It was never that public or quantifiable back on mailing lists, and even though I prefer LJ so much and would never want to go back to the ML days, occasionally it still hits me weird, you know?

[lyra_wing]

Ah, I see. I guess I don't run into that problem much, because when I first encounter a story it's usually relatively fresh. I bookmark it in my "to read" folder and end up reading it ages later...

MLs were kinda sloppy! Even discussion boards were sort of all over the place. True, it makes everything a lot more.... glaringly transparent, but I guess that it can't really be helped.

[musesfool]

It depends? I'm all discombobulated now since I can't read my flist at work, so I do a lot of scrolling through at the end of the day, so I can see where it might be an issue for people.

I guess my point was just that most of us have felt that way at one time or another, even though it seems like a thing nobody's allowed to admit to feeling.

[tears_of_nienna]

I was going to say something intelligent and thought-provoking, but those damn perky nipples just drove all the thinky thoughts out of my head. Yum.

[musesfool]

Hee! Hi Dean's perky nipples!

[extraonions]

Objectively, there's nothing I can do about the number of feedback responses I gety on anything I post beyond sending something out into the void and hoping that it will be well-received. But as a fan and a reader, I've found myself feeling a lot more 'zen' about it since I made a promise to myself to respond to EVERY piece of fanfic I read, without fail. Sometimes it's a one liner, sometimes it's a paragraph, but if I take the time to read it, I do comment on it. That makes me feel better, even if it has nothing to do with what feedback I may or may not get.

[musesfool]

Yeah, I try to always leave a comment if I read and liked something.

[musesfool]

But in general terms, I do think this is something a lot of people can and do understand and sympathize with, having experienced it themselves.

I totally get not wanting to flash your ass in public, and how easy it is to come off as whiny or entitled, but I also think it's a weird and unpleasant aspect of fannish culture, at least on LJ, that we're not "supposed to" want fb or like getting or care about it at all. hell, sometimes i get the impression we're not even "supposed to" like or reread our own stories, and that's just crazy talk.

[azewewish]

I also think it's a weird and unpleasant aspect of fannish culture, at least on LJ, that we're not "supposed to" want fb or like getting or care about it at all. hell, sometimes i get the impression we're not even "supposed to" like or reread our own stories, and that's just crazy talk.

Truer words, man. I've openly admitted that I re-read my own fic, and why shouldn't I? I'm writing the story because it's something I want to READ, and most of the time, I can't find anyone else willing to write it for me. *g*

I mean, if I don't think I'm worthy of reading, why would anyone else?

That being said, feedback is a tricky business, man. I wonder if more traditional writers freak out over reviews & their peers' reviews.

[musesfool]

Yeah, I'm my own ideal reader, so my final judgment on whether a story was successful or not tends to be whether or not I enjoy it and think it does what I wanted it to do.

I wonder if more traditional writers freak out over reviews & their peers' reviews

I don't know - I would imagine the smart ones never do where people can see.

[deslea]

Well said

[musesfool]

Yeah, I've known any number of people who've had bad experiences when they've left feedback, and it stops them from leaving more, which makes me sad. It's all just so weird from all sides of the equation, you know?