Comments | much_ado: Choice, Validation, and Being Poly for Effective vs Ineffective Reasons

much_ado

Choice, Validation, and Being Poly for Effective vs Ineffective Reasons

Jun 08, 2009 13:58

I've been thinking a lot lately about choice, especially in how it relates to validation in relationships, which in turn relates to how people self-soothe (or don't) their anxieties through either self-validation or other-validation. this in turn has lead me to examine some of my own motivations through the years for selecting relationships, both ( Read more... )

fears, introspection, cognitive development, self-perceptions, confirmational bias, validation, triangulation, differentiation, systems theory, relationships, self-care, process work, about 'nora, meta-discussions, intimacy, congruency, decision models, perspective, polyamoury, relationship models, expectations, integrity, emotional intelligence, patterns, vulnerability

Comments 42

bridgeoutahead June 8 2009, 19:21:16 UTC

"those relationships i choose to have for more effective reasons than dependency will, i think, be the stronger for it."

Amen. After 4 years, I *finally* have some idea what you're saying.

I really enjoyed this post. :)

*quirk smile* the_nita June 8 2009, 19:27:58 UTC

In ways I cannot put into words, some lights just went off in my head.

Love you.

Re: *quirk smile* bridgeoutahead June 8 2009, 19:32:12 UTC

if you feel like a stroke is coming on, I hear you're supposed to dial 9-1-1.

(yes, I'm punchy today, why do you ask?)

Re: *quirk smile* the_nita June 8 2009, 19:34:12 UTC

Darlin', while it's *possible*, if cardio issues is what kills me, it won't likely be the brain....(sadly).

Again - PTB's? If you're gonna kill me that way, FAST and EFFECTIVE, PLEASE! No lingering crap.

(Yah, I gathered. Me too.)

Re: *quirk smile* bridgeoutahead June 8 2009, 19:40:24 UTC

*grin*

Thread 6

kseniia June 8 2009, 21:00:01 UTC

Wow. Thank you for sharing that - gives me a lot to think on these days, and so aptly timed too.

Mind if I cut/paste and share with someone?

suburban_mom June 9 2009, 00:00:59 UTC

good god woman, i need to print out your flippin entries for reflection at a later date [and in a more comfortable space like my bed]

gr to you and your excellent thinky posts. Gr and thank you.

pyrategrrl June 9 2009, 00:48:35 UTC

Excellent thinky post. *G* I definitely think those aspects of my head that i refer to as "sock puppets" are definitely my brains way of trying to motivate me to attempt to force the mirrors back the way they *were!*

"look! see! its ON FIRE! DO SOMETHING!"

:: flails at sock puppets with the +3 stick of Righteous Soothing:::

A work in progress. I continue to try and drag myself away from the prettyfacinatingbutscary mirrors, bit by bit.

Thre are most likey deeper and less silly things to say about such a thoughtful and useful post... bu I'll need time to finish chewing. :)

Thank you! (do you mind if I Copy/paste share with T? I don't think he's on this filter)