I feel like I can't breath all the time . Like there is an elephant stepping on my chest. My grief is overwhelming. I have constant chest pain and anxiety. One begets the other. It makes me wonder if I'm dying. Sometimes it feels like it. I can hold it together for the most part but that pain in my chest is always there. Sometimes it's less but ( Read more... )

I find that the hours leading up to the end of my shift at work are the worst to deal with. It's when shit hits That im really not going home, and that I have to start over from square one with potentially less than I started with. And that folks is fucking scary. Today is worse because The am shift called in and the on call requested the day off ( Read more... )

So I began the process of division of mutual property. I couldn't finish. I freaked out. Got physically sick, and left early. My heart hurts. There are many whom were waiting in the wings for this to fail. I'm in no mood to entertain the idea of you because the idea of him is very fresh and raw. I'm going to be a frigid bitch for I'm unsure how ( Read more... )

I am sorry to hear your marriage did not work out. Hugs* friend.

Trying to put back the pieces has proven slow and tedious. I'll cry all night at work or not at all. I sleep but only in few hour increments. I'm hurting and lack the time to process this. Yeah crying is therapeutic but damn does it have to happen in the middle of a shift or while driving home? I'm stupid busy packing to leave the state . No room ( Read more... )

It really weird and unfortunate how I associate my self worth by another persons reactions. This go around I feel diminished. Stuck to the thought that I'm never kept by anyone for to terribly long. I'm too different and never enough to be loved. He says i deserve love. I'm just destined to be alone covered in cats I guess .😕

I want to sleep non stop. My chest hurts like I'm having heart problems. I know it's anxiety. I don't want to go to the Dr. I don't want to go to work the job that I feel essentially ruined my life. My face is so swollen from crying my eyes are puffy and tired. There's dark circles from sleep deprivation. I need to be done. This is killing me. I ( Read more... )

Yesterday was a bit more easy to handle. I slept finally. A whole eight hours. I still feel like I was ran over by a semi truck. I still have a hard time with being at the house and around Brandon. He is being very sweet and it's kind he keeps his distance. I miss him terribly. Just when I think I am out of tears more come.I'm unsure about ( Read more... )

Like clockwork just after three years almost four, another relationship has failed. I have learned this time I need therapy, back on the meds ,and just to remain single . I'm grateful for all the amazing things like finally feeling the most loved I have ever felt in my life and the most safe. However I had a reality check, this has come to an end ( Read more... )

Worked for two weeks straight. I'm getting sick. But show must go on. People are asking me to do fun things but I can't get the time off to do them. I'm extremely tired. I managed to get today off only because my boss wanted to work with the dude she's banging. I should have slept more. Problems are starting to crop up every where now. I feel like ( Read more... )