I did not go out to the woods again today… nor yesterday, I believe, though whenever I am suffering after these attacks, time slips away from me, and in this land of perpetual darkness, I know not whether it is even day or night. I do not feel as weak now as I have on previous occasions... It sickens me to think that perhaps I am becoming ( Read more... )

I thought I might steady my nerves by writing, though I do not know if I will have the strength to manage it for long. I feel weaker and more disoriented today after having slept for so many restful hours than I have after each of these nights prior when I have only cried myself into a sleep fitful exhaustion that never lasted long. Though I have ( Read more... )

I am feeling much stronger today than I have after three nights ago when I do believe I must have been attacked again. It is a most frightening prospect to consider, because I was not without Heathcliff's presence for the entire evening. We had been so certain that the way to ward off this blood-draining was by never being alone, but now to know ( Read more... )

Early yesterday evening, an enjoyable conversation with the viscount was interrupted by the return of that monstrous creature that has, for the past three nights destructively appeared. There were screams from the kitchen, so he, Heathcliff and I fled upstairs where we would not be caught in the insanity. It seems no matter how politely I try to ( Read more... )

I thought I should take it upon myself to degrade Heathcliff on paper a little lest, while lying here daydreaming, I let my foolish fancy begin to turn him into something he sorely isn't... However, as soon as I rose from bed, I collapsed upon the floor with dizzy weakness. I was terrified and disoriented, and it was only after a few moments of ( Read more... )

Why is it that every time I make up to mind my resolve, he manages to shatter it? With him, I am strengthless, without him I am weak. And no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I punish myself, no matter how much my mind commands that I be rid of him, I cannot do it short of tearing my own heart out of my breast. I hate him because I love ( Read more... )

I will not write for long, for I feel so weak--it is to be expected as apparently all this time a bat has been drinking away my very life's blood. But if I do not write down all that I can remember and see it in front of me in blue and white, I shall begin to suspect my mind of madness. I saw the bat for the first time last night in the pantry. ( Read more... )

I awoke this morning and was momentarily seized by fear of unknown surroundings only to realize that this was the first night in the past five that I had actually spent alone and in my own room, in my own bed and not upon the parlor couch. I suppose I must say that my body feels better and as I gazed into the dim glass, I could tell color had ( Read more... )

I awoke early this morning to find that once again I had passed the night on the parlor couch... but this time quite alone. I do not remember falling asleep, nor, for that matter, do I remember very much of the evening at all after Heathcliff so abruptly left our company. I refuse to deal with him gently when he becomes so cross and for no reason ( Read more... )

I do not know how long I have slept. Hours or days... But I do feel better for it and writing does come more easily, although I find my arm is stiff and sore. I peeled away the bandage and almost made myself ill at the sight of the black bruise beneath. I know the doctor caused it, but I cannot remember how and only vaguely remember why. I have ( Read more... )