i made my last house payment today.

i guess i didn't want to have to type this, makes it as forever as it, in fact is forever. amanda died in her sleep the first week of october. she died in her sleep, and at such a young age. i have a strong feeling she finally managed to drink herself to death. it's what she wanted. after sky raped her 17 years ago. nothing mattered to her anymore ( Read more... )

well, here i am again so i guess i have something to talk about. i had elected to only come to lj when new thing of note have happened. i noticed i have most of the same thoughts and feelings day in and day out ( Read more... )

it has been a while since my last update, so much has happened ( Read more... )

i am glad of it. friends came over and we had a good time. i heard from amanda tonight, it was only text but it was still good. i miss her so much. it's had to admit to my self more so than to others that i need her. more so than i can understand at this time. that's enough complicated feelings for now.

it was over all a good day.

people are worried about me drinking. some haven't been around for the last down swing. this would be the 4th? i think so maybe the 5th. only a few people know i'm an alcoholic i just got a handle on my problem and it's under control. when i break my alcoholic rules too often, (only did it once or twice) everything is fine. little do they know. ( Read more... )

and it looks like my son is really liking it. robotics and computer programming is his favorite classes.
i’m feeling a lot of stuff and i drinking and i think i’m going to go drink some more.

i was going to get the rio serviced, it's way over due. problem? the place my mom use to take the car to is closed. i don't know where to take it now. i also have to make a run out to the costco; i hate that i need help with that. we need pet foods, cat litter, soaps and what not. i need help with the heavy stuff. i wish i didn't need help. this is ( Read more... )

i got to talk to amanda today, she made it home safe but she suffered an adventure along the way home. i grilled some sausages and we had a good supper. my friend karyn came by with her son and we had a good long talk about many things. it had been a while since we had a chance to talk. they went home and a bit a later and then bule and jeanette ( Read more... )

my son got his classes the other day. every class he requested he got; he is excited about taking robotics. as for me, i feel more like my old self again today as compared to yesterday. i will always treasure the five days of feeling different than normal. it's not great, but it's kept me going all these years so that's fine. if life has some ( Read more... )