Comments | metamorfic_moon: The Middle of the Story

bratanimus in metamorfic_moon

The Middle of the Story

Oct 08, 2007 13:01

Title: The Middle of the Story
Author: bratanimus
Rating & Warnings: PG-13 for talk of death, gross slug activity
Prompts: Day of screams, flesh-eating slugs, horror, and location #18 (the tree)
Word Count: 2,254
Summary: A ghost story that started with an ending, and finished with a beginning.
Author’s Note: A big THANK YOU to ladybracknell for her beta and ( Read more... )

horror, bratanimus, all hallows' moon jumble

Comments 57

mrstater October 8 2007, 17:31:54 UTC

Oh, this is brilliant! So brilliant that it's difficult to even really know what to say apart from that, and I'm sure my review will be less-than-brilliant. ;) I think in summary this just rocks because it's utterly Halloween and utterly HP -- and of course, utterly R/T. Your Remus voice is wacky and witty and whimsical and...sad. (Couldn't think of a w-word for that, lol.) This is just so interesting and you draw me into the story so well by connecting me with Teddy and to Remus and Tonks, who like him I really really wish I could know and I really wish they could do all the things in this achingly sad paragraph: hese hands would never pick you up. You’d never ride on my shoulders, hanging onto my index fingers. As you grew, we couldn’t play together. Your mum wouldn’t be able to teach you to ride a broomstick, and I couldn’t teach you to cook. We’d never swim in the ocean together. We’d never hug and kiss your wife, lift your laughing children above our heads.And to think all this came from a prompt flesh-eating slugs! (Which ( ... )

bratanimus October 9 2007, 20:49:02 UTC

Thank you! *blush* I really wanted to tell some sort of ghost story for Halloween, but I had no idea R/T themselves would be the ghosts until it hit me like a ton of bricks that perhaps Remus, like Sir Nick, might feel he'd left something unfinished. And of course Tonk would have to tag along because she couldn't bear to be away from him (and she probably kept him from bollocksing things up even worse ;)).

I'm very glad you like Remus' voice in this; I figured he'd be one witty ghost, and I did have fun writing him that way, so I'm glad it worked in your eyes. Also glad you liked the use of the slugs; once it hit me what those slugs probably REALLY do, I had no trouble with the prompt, lol. ;)

Thanks again! I really appreciate your kind words and I'm very glad you liked this. :D

roh_wyn October 8 2007, 17:52:00 UTC

*sniff*

Oh, that was perfect. I've always wanted to hear Remus's words to Teddy from the beyond, and I think this is just the sort of thing he would say.

bratanimus October 9 2007, 20:50:44 UTC

Thank you! I'm so pleased that you liked it, and that it made you sniffle. ;) Glad you thought this was something Remus might say to Teddy from beyong the grave. Thanks for reading! :)

oneandonlysusan October 8 2007, 20:19:20 UTC

Love this! Also love how you used the flesh-eating slugs prompt. Clever and yet terrible.

bratanimus October 9 2007, 20:52:33 UTC

Hee hee! I'm so glad you liked it. Clever and terrible works for me, lol! Thanks again for reading! :D

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bratanimus October 9 2007, 20:58:20 UTC

Oh, thank you so much! :)

I'm really touched that you liked the tone and found this fic moving. And I'm especially glad you liked the detail about Ghost!Remus taking a while to figure things out, just as Live!Remus had; I like to think the ghosts in the HP 'verse are not perfect (look at the house ghosts at Hogwarts, for example), so I figured Remus still had some lessons to learn after death. Besides, he was yanked from life so unceremoniously, and just after the birth of their son. :(

I'm glad you liked Andromeda's and Teddy's reactions to the haunting. I figured the wounds would still be too fresh for Andromeda to want to see Remus and Tonks, especially if she disagreed with their decision to go into battle.

Thank you for pointing out the theme of death as a new beginning. I hoped someone would get that, and voila! You did. :D

Thank you again for your very encouraging words. :)

lady_bracknell October 8 2007, 21:41:49 UTC

I think I may already have said how much I loved this, but I saved a bit of gushing, just for the pleasure of saying so again ( ... )

bratanimus October 9 2007, 21:06:55 UTC

*shudders at the spooky guys from Hush* ;)

I'm so glad that you thought Remus' voice was believable in this, even though I deliberately tried to keep it confusing for a bit as to who exactly was speaking and who was reading. ;)

And I'm very pleased that you liked the unwelcome haunting; I figured this Andromeda would still be angry at them for leaving, and the hurt would still be too fresh, for her to want to see them. And of course Remus and Tonks, once they'd seen Teddy again, would have a hell of a time leaving. Thanks for pointing out the theme of parents' wants versus child's needs; I think it's a mark of a good parent who can put the child first, which of course R/T had to do here, even though it was horribly painful (and of course Remus would want to be honest and yet shield Teddy as much as he could from the knowledge of just how painful that was).

Hee hee, I thought the decomposing, slug-eaten corpses would provide comic relief a nice counterpoint to the emotions flying around, plus ground it solidly in the horror/ ( ... )